After the catastrophic failure, and subsequent destruction of his spacecraft. Captain Randolph 'Randy' Edwards is crippled, lucky to have lost only his lower legs to the burning thanks to the heroic efforts of Princess Luna. With the relief of all his friends on Equis, now it was only a matter of time before Randy's race followed up on his discoveries. Though instead of flying ships descending on the planet once again. Humanities response came with a simple little ping.
(this is a fan continuation of the Arrow 18 stories by AdmiralTigerClaw and Kovabomb. Links below
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/13616/arrow-18-mission-logs-lone-ranger
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/349546/arrow-18-supplemental
Chapters (1)
A little rough around the edges, but I would say that this was a good followup. However, I will leave it to Tigerclaw to determine if this is actually cannon or not. Keep honing your skills. Thanks for a short and sweet read.
8116456 Personally I am shocked that this ended up on people's favorites list. But if I may ask, how do you think I could do this better? Like any tips on what I was off on and how to improve it?
8124951
Well, you did acknowledge that English was not your first language and that you're still improving on it, so the grammatical errors and simplicity can be forgiven for now. Just keep brushing up on that and you'll be fine. However, there was also the fact that a lot of exposition was crammed into the first part of the story that didn't need to be there. You effectively retold, in short form, the entire story of Arrow 18. In a sequel story like this, when the reader is assumed to have read the previous story, details from previous installments need only be hinted at or alluded to, not retold entirely.
Those are the only real criticisms I have with this short story. Still, as I said, the idea of the story is a good one. For some, just the idea can be enough.
As kovabomb said, it's a little heavy on exposition. But for English not being your first language, I'd say that this looks pretty good. A fun little side story.
For the record everyone, English IS my first language, I know no others. The reason I have trouble with it is more on the mental side of things. Writing/Typing, my brain, and my hands just don't play nice
8180934
Ah, well you did a good job regardless.
I liked it. That last line made me smile.
Just one thing...
I think this should be 'Randy', not Dan.