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This story is a sequel to Arrow 18 Mission Logs: Lone Ranger

In the year 2258, Randolph Edwards, captain of the Arrow 18, was stranded on the planet when Luna saved him from an explosion. Though his life was saved, he had lost his legs, and any chance to get back home any time soon.

After extensive research to ensure the proper parts won't fail, selecting a group to send, and training said group, Global Space Agency has sent a new team to the mysterious geocentric planet and retrieve Captain Edwards.

The Arrow 19, like it's predecessor, is lacking a proper crew count. With the majority of the funding going to making sure the systems didn't cause a catastrophic failure, the funding for a crew was low. Thirteen is far from a proper crew, but it's more than the predecessor had.

It has been 4 1/2 years since Randy last saw another human, and is excited about being able to go home.


This is the unofficial sequel of Arrow 18 Mission Logs: Lone Ranger by AdmiralTigerclaw. In need of cover art.

First Published
20th Apr 2017
Last Modified
20th Apr 2017
#1 · 4w, 6d ago · 1 · ·

Awesome to see more of this universe :)

One thing I saw that messed with me for a moment:

Twilight had been given a pair of prosthetic legs that Twilight built

I don't think Twilight should be who received the legs.

I don't normally see errors, as I suck at spelling at whatnot (thank you spellcheck) figured I would point that out though

Cant wait to read more.

#2 · 4w, 6d ago · 1 · ·

One of the greatest fan fictions of all time continues!

#3 · 4w, 6d ago · · ·

>>8107925 Thanks for pointing that out. I fixed it.

#4 · 4w, 6d ago · 2 · ·

Randy was outside that night, looking through his telescope at the night sky when he noticed something. It wasn’t a star, so his first assumption that may it was a commit or something.

'commit' should be 'comet'. I actually had a whole lunatic Paranoia-style reply lined up before I came to my senses about this.

The Princesses Are Your Friends™.

#5 · 4w, 6d ago · · ·

Though it was later named Equus

Uh, why? Pony-Earth have lot of other inhabitants that not equine. I'm pretty sure that the would object about naming planet over ponies.

Oh and their world actually named Earth :).

seeing as humans had a natural immunity to magic

IIRC humans in Arrow 18 don't have "natural immunity to magic". They have immunity to several magic effects like Luna dreamwalking, cockatrice stare and lots of others but not "total magic immunity".

#6 · 4w, 6d ago · 1 · ·

Mfw I scroll through fimfiction and find this!

:yay:

#7 · 4w, 5d ago · 1 · ·

I loved Arrow 18! I can't wait to see how this well go.

#8 · 4w, 5d ago · · ·

Did the Admiral endorse this sequel?

#9 · 4w, 5d ago · · ·

>>8108176 I'm accepting to any corrections you'd point out, so I'm glad you didn't go into anything overboard. And thank you for pointing that out. I'd rather be corrected than to hear a rant about what's wrong with my story (unless it's legitimately constructive criticism).

>>8108267 Admittedly, I might be mistaken about what Randy actually named the planet in the original story. But I'm not the one who came up with the idea for that name as being the name of the planet. And besides, calling the country "Equestria" is just as bad. And that's canon. In any case, the name wasn't my idea.

Oh and their world actually named Earth :).
Although I won't deny that as being canon in the show, when in the show have they ever called the planet "Earth"? If your answer is "Earth Ponies", the word "Earth" doesn't just refer to the name of our planet. It also refers to the ground in general. And as a final note, in the original story of Arrow 18, it's confirmed that it's a planet that's NOT Earth. Although, would you feel better if I add an "Alternate Universe" tag? I was thinking about doing that anyway, considering the inconsistencies with the canon.

IIRC humans in Arrow 18 don't have "natural immunity to magic". They have immunity to several magic effects like Luna dreamwalking, cockatrice stare and lots of others but not "total magic immunity".

That's what I meant by "immunity", because just because you have an immunity to something, it doesn't mean that something can't come near you. But to be fair, I didn't specify that. So how do you feel about me editing it to say "natural resistance"? And the point of what I said was to point out that Twilight wouldn't be able to use magic to enchant the prosthetic legs to act on his will.

#10 · 4w, 5d ago · · ·

>>8109448 I did ask him about it, and he pointed out that there is already a sequel that he endorsed that's intended to leave things open for sequels. Arrow 18: Supplemental. So if he considers this story to be part of the canon of his story is debatable. But to put it simply, AdmiralTigerclaw himself told me how to translate the pony language.

#11 · 4w, 5d ago · · ·

>>8109743

Although I won't deny that as being canon in the show, when in the show have they ever called the planet "Earth"?

In "Hearth Warming" episode when AJ/Smart Cookie pointed that Pinkie/Puddinghead holding a map upside down Pinkie answered that "The Earth is round, there is no up or down!".

And considering that word "Earth" more or less just mean "something under our feets" I doubt that humans are only one who called their planet like that. Most likely all aliens home planets are named "Earth" in their native tongue.

But to be fair, I didn't specify that. So how do you feel about me editing it to say "natural resistance"

I think that "resistance" sound better that "immunity".

#12 · 4w, 5d ago · · ·

>>8109871

In "Hearth Warming" episode when AJ/Smart Cookie pointed that Pinkie/Puddinghead holding a map upside down Pinkie answered that "The Earth is round, there is no up or down!".

Okay, fair enough. But that's another reason to add the "Alternate Universe" tag.

Most likely all aliens home planets are named "Earth" in their native tongue.

Well, that's assuming that their dialect and reasoning would be similar to ours.

#13 · 4w, 4d ago · · ·

Quantum Entanglement is an odd piece of phlebotinum to allow for instant communication. We are already on the verge of functional quantum computers, and I'm fairly sure quantum entanglement has already been achieved under lab conditions. At the time this takes place, with FTL travel in existence, quantum entanglement would be the phlebotinum equivalent of 'nuclear' stuff in the 50s  (and how it's viewed today). 'Quantum Connectivity' utilizing computers should already be in use.

Additionally, the problem with entangled particles is that they cannot transmit usable information. A much better piece of explanation would be to say that new communication systems were developed that could utilize Quantum Entanglement for FTL comms.

Also, you wouldn't have prototype computers utilizing it. You'd have prototype communication systems attached to computers. After all, computer =/= transmitter.

#14 · 4w, 4d ago · 2 · ·

<BACKS THE FUCK UP, SITS THE FUCK DOWN, FUKKEN' READS DIS BITCH>

#15 · 4w, 4d ago · · ·

Holy shit, a sequel?!

MUST

READ

#16 · 4w, 3d ago · · ·

>>8111778 Does the real world science really matter in Star Trek science babble? The original story did just that, science babble. Besides, the "quantum connectivity" is part of the hardware of the computer, so it wouldn't be a program. The name is a description of what it does. And besides, it's not the same as a quantum computer (though it would require the usage of a quantum computer). The only reason I'm using the quantum entanglement idea is because I once saw a video describing how federation ships in Star Trek can communicate instantaneously over long distances using real world science.

#17 · 4w, 3d ago · 1 · ·

Why do authors feel the need to make what should be highly trained professionals behave like their in the back of the school bus. Would it be to much for characters that don't argue all the time on the most idiotic topics.

#18 · 4w, 2d ago · · ·

>>8114269 If you're talking about Alec, technically he's not a "trained professional". And besides, his issues are in fact part of something unrelated.

Arn
#19 · 4w, 2d ago · 1 · ·

>>8114269

It's the stress man...

They're going toward something that "should" be a black hole.

In a system that "shouldn't" be stable.

To a star that "shouldn't" be orbiting a planet.

On a planet that "shouldn't" support life.

To a world where ponies "are" the dominate life form.

Those are the facts...they need something silly to argue about.

Or maybe you can show a good story with professional astronauts, fimfic or otherwise...

D48
#20 · 3w, 4d ago · · ·

This story is a mess and it really looks like you failed to think things through and do your research just about everywhere.

To start, your crew selection is a disaster.  Not only do you have random civilians with no real reason to be there, but you are also missing the diplomatic and security teams that should be there.  This is primarily a diplomatic mission after all, so there should be a team of veteran diplomats drawn from most major countries to establish formal relations with the ponies.  Security is similarly essential to deal with the known dangerous creatures in the Everfree in addition to the normal security and honor guard duties required for any diplomatic mission, so there should be a team drawn from the best spec ops units from all around the world with the firepower needed to deal with any contingency.  That security team should also be supporting other roles with the obvious example being a PJ pulling double duty as the secondary medic for the mission in support of the primary doctor (who will be selected for both the ability to patch Randy up and respond to any emergency), so you really needed to do some serious research to identify necessary skills and units to put this together.  To make things even worse, your crew is acting extremely unprofessionally, especially the captain, which is totally implausible for such an important and high profile mission which should have the absolute best the entire planet has to offer on board since every one of those slots are going to be a huge point of national pride with insane competition for each one.

Moving on, your technical stuff is a total disaster.  Not only did you pull out the usual quantum communications stupidity which has no reason to be in the story, but you managed to make it sound even dumber than usual, spout pointless exposition about it, and then had everyone act like they were out of communications with command anyways.  Similarly, your comments about the autopilot make it crystal clear that not only do you have no idea how it works and what it's capable of, but you didn't bother to do even the most basic research into the subject or you would have realized that a lot of the things you called impossible were done decades ago.  This stands in stark contrast to Admiral's work which is built on a combination of personal knowledge and extensive research to build out the background of the story, something that is plainly obvious in the failure chain we worked out to kill the Raven at the end of the last story.

Last, you completely failed to consider the implications of the first story on canon.  I just spoke about this in depth with Admiral (who hasn't read this yet), and the result is a complete derailing of everything after season 3.  Starting with Equestria Girls, having Chrysalis and her changelings hanging around with an extra injection of pragmatism from Randy will probably get Sunset caught before she can escape through the portal which will leave her in Equestria and send Randy on a pointless excursion through the portal to see if it's a shortcut home.  Moving on to the season 4 premier, Randy and Chrysalis won't get flustered by Discord the way Twilight did, so they'd wind up getting real answers out of him and basically ending the plot right there since he's very much flutterwhipped so the Elements would remain in play going forwards.  Moving on to the season 4 finale, Randy and Chrysalis's influence will probably be enough to tip Discord's judgement into not betraying the ponies since he was on the edge anyways, and if not Randy will either gun Tirek down with his pistol or help the ponies build a simple canon to shred Tirek with grape shot and cut that plot off early as well which means the library will survive and the eyesore of a palace will thankfully never be a thing.  Moving on to season 5, Randy won't be directly relevant in the premier due to his lack of mobility, but you can bet Chrysalis is going to be providing support and putting lessons learned from Randy into practice so there's a very real chance she will just use a disguise to get close and rip Starlight's throat out (quite possibly literally considering her fangs), and the only real alternative is Starlight getting locked away in some deep dark dungeon for the rest of her life since she's almost certainly not getting away from Chrysalis and her changelings (seriously, just imagine trying to hide from an army of changelings who can look like anyone).  Even if she does manage to get to her attack on Twilight in the finale, that has the same possible end states with the additional possibility of getting shot on sight by Randy, so she's definitely out of play.  Beyond that there's not a whole lot to say since little baby death star will be largely unchanged, Chrysalis will have long since become an ally, and Starlight will be gone for seasons 6+.  It's probably also worth mentioning that there's a very small chance that the rest of the girls could also get refits alongside Twilight since Randy and Chrysalis will beat proper safety practices into Twilight in time to avert the chaos of magical mystery cure so the spell will be properly studied and understood and will thus be guaranteed to work properly the first time, but odds are the end result will be largely the same.

Beyond the larger plotline alterations, extended interaction with Randy and Chrysalis is also going to have implications for characterization as are the events of the previous story.  Everyone is going to pick up at least a little more pragmatism from working with the highly pragmatic Randy, and Chrysalis's ruthlessness will also get spread around the group.  On top of that, the accident is going to give everyone a serious shock and give them an object lesson in the importance of proper safety procedures which is going to have serious implications for their worldview and by extension their personalities, especially for Twilight and Rainbow Dash who will do some serious thinking about their own recklessness.

#21 · 3w, 3d ago · · ·

>>8128182 I won't claim to have everything right. And I will admit to ignorance of how things work in government agencies like this. But I also believe you were a little too quick to judge my intent. The lack of a proper crew was intentional. But to be fair, I had forgotten to point that out. I may not know what a proper crew would be. But I knowingly didn't make a proper crew. I edited the description of the story to account for this, and thanks for making me realize what I forgot to explain. Also, you're assumption that this is a diplomatic mission isn't entirely true. Though it's not wrong, the main intent, as the title suggests, is a rescue mission. As for the lack of a security team, you assume that the crew isn't trained in self defense. For example, one of the science officers (Erica) is also an ASL teacher and a linguist. "Science officer" is just her main role in the crew. As for the civilians, I won't deny that I am taking liberties. But how I see it, if you want to send someone to represent your planet, the most accurate representative wouldn't be a government official, it would be a civilian. And the civilians weren't chosen at random. They did get noticed because of what their fathers have done. But they were just two of several candidates. The reason they were chosen for the mission is because they have what it takes. They had to be trained in how to run the ship's systems and work in micro-gravity just like any other member of the crew. In short, "veteran diplomats" represent the government, not the people. I apologize if I'm wrong about how diplomats work. But if nothing else, now you understand my train of thought. As for a defense against the creatures in the Everfree, each member of the crew was trained in self defense. And even though I never pointed it out yet, they will agree not to go near the Everfree alone. And if they do go in, it will be in groups. Safety in numbers. And besides, recently, the Everfree hasn't been that dangerous. Perhaps it's because of the tree of harmony being re-energized. As for the crew being unprofessional, I doubt you've seen enough of the crews actions to properly make that assessment. Granted, they don't act fully professional. But that's only because of the 6 months on the ship together. With nobody else to interact with, the majority of the crew have become more like a family than like co-workers. And in turn, they have become more casual with each other. (Keep note that I said the "majority" of the crew.)

The issues with the "technical stuff" is the result of being a work of fiction. Again, I admit that the "quantum connectivity" is part of me taking more liberties. But it is based on an actual thing in quantum physics, which has been used to explain how different ships in Star Trek can communicate instantly, regardless of distance. However, the reason the ship isn't in communication with GSA is because the computer with the with the quantum connected hard drive is not integrated with the ships computer. The computer is intended to be a gift to ponies so that they can keep in contact, regardless of how far away they are. As for the autopilot, I don't know everything about autopilots. I just know that it's to allow a computer to act as the pilot. How I see it, no matter how sophisticated an autopilot system is, I don't believe you should put your full trust in a computer. Just because technology makes life easier, it doesn't mean you should let technology live your life for you. Besides, what exactly did I say was impossible? (If I made such a claim, I honestly don't remember.)

I'm sorry if I'm not as knowledgeable as Admiral. But even if my science is fictitious, there is still logic behind it. The fact is that I'm not trying to be as good as him, because I think that's pointless. (He's just that good) I simply hope my story's entertainment isn't shameful to his original story.

Where I understand you're previous criticisms, you're claim that I failed to consider the implications of the first story on canon is false. Although I haven't ironed out all the details of how the first story would change the canon, there's a reason why I put the 'Alternate Universe' tag on the story. For starters, I believe the season 3 finale would still happen (if a bit different). When it happened could be different. But In short, I believe that Celestia had that planned. (I assume the original takes place after the season 3 premiere?) Considering that the Equestria Girls movies aren't canon to the show, they never happened. I probably wouldn't make the season 4 premiere and finale the way you implied. But yes, they would've been different. I don't know how I'd have the season 5 premiere and finale. But how would you feel about Starlight living with Twilight in season 6 as being a form of parole? In any case, I have taken what affects the story would have had on canon into consideration.

I do appreciate your input, and understand that you want to help. But keep in mind that I don't consider this story an "official sequel". Unless Admiral approves of the story himself, this story can be described as a fanfic of a fanfic.

D48
#22 · 3w, 2d ago · · ·

>>8129977

And I will admit to ignorance of how things work in government agencies like this.

In that case, you shouldn't be writing this without doing extensive research to remedy the problem.  All the information you need to do this right is available free online, and failing to look it up is a clear sign that you don't really care about your craft.  Basically everything you said is blatantly wrong, and all of the information to say why is easily found in seconds on google so I'm not going to waste my time here.

As for the technical details, you are full of shit and trying to bluff.  I took a course in quantum mechanics in college, and the physics of quantum entanglement makes using it for FTL communication fundamentally impossible.  This isn't a case where there is some workaround, this is a case where the physics simply doesn't work like "science" fiction writers try to claim it does.  There are ways to get around the problem and make FTL communication possible, but this isn't one of them.

Moving on to computers and autopilots, computers are almost always better than people.  Large UAVs like the Global Hawk and Reaper are usually capable of at least automatic takeoff and landing, and the Global Hawk regularly flies entire missions with no one at the controls.  The greater precision of the Reaper's autopilot allows it to operate from significantly shorter runways than a human pilot would need, and do so more safely since human error is removed from the equation.  Most experts expect the global airliner fleet to shift to fully autonomous aircraft in the next few decades because human error is by far the most common cause of accidents so it makes more sense to trust a computer than a human pilot, not less.

As for canon, while Twilight will still get her wings, that is about the only major thing that won't change.  As I said before, I hammered out the details of this in a call with Admiral the other day so you can read the summary of what will happen there.  As for Starlight specifically, assuming Chrysalis lets her live which is by no means certain, Chrysalis and Randy will make damn sure she gets locked in the deepest, darkest hole they can find for the rest of her life because she has proved she is far too dangerous and delusional to risk going free so there is no way she could possibly be hanging around like in the show, especially considering their influence on Twilight should help her see that letting Starlight loose is a terrible idea even without their direct input.

#23 · 3w, 2d ago · · ·

>>8130502 In all honesty, I didn't even realize "quantum communication" was as studied as it is. I didn't even realize "quantum communication" was a term. If I had known that, I would've used that and not "quantum connectivity". I assure you I made no bluff. If that were the case, then by definition, that would mean that I'm trying to convince you that I know something when I actually don't. It's true that I don't have proper knowledge. But I'm not trying to convince the readers that I do. (I didn't eve know what FTL stood for before I looked it up.) But if you'd like to compromise, what if I were to have it use an artificial wormhole instead?

I won't try to claim I'm right. But I'm only wrong based on today's standards. It'd be foolish to assume that the government 250 years from now will be the same as it is today. I'm not claiming it won't. I'm just saying that making that assumption is foolish. considering that times change. (And considering the BS going on in the government today, we may need some change in order to survive.)

The operative word is "almost". And yes, computers are faster, more precise, make calculations easier, etc. than people. But even Spock has made wrong decisions. Besides, UAVs aren't responsible for keeping peoples' lives safe. Or if they do, it'd be foolish for there not to be someone there to monitor the systems. Because regardless of how sophisticated an automated system is, if that system is responsible for the safety of lives, there had better be someone there to vigilantly monitor those systems, and be there in case the systems fail, or at the very least, make sure any backup systems activate. Removing human error does not remove system error. Yes, system error is far less likely. But if there is a system error, it can't correct itself in the same way a human can.

If Admiral has that view about imprisonment, then that would be the first strike I would give Admiral. And before you take that the wrong way, it's not because he's agreeing with you. It's because statistically, the countries with the lowest crime rates are the ones who put effort into reforming their criminals. So attempts at reformation is much more effective than just imprisonment. And since Arrow 18 takes place over 250 years in the future, it's more likely that if society has advanced to interstellar travel at that level, then they have advanced to putting effort into reforming prisoners. And since it's canon that she can be reformed, need I say more? If Admiral thinks the better decision in his canon is to either lock her up or execute her, then that's a sign that society took a step backwards in his canon. I wouldn't deny that they may be more strict with her. But I refuse to take that step backwards.

you are full of shit and trying to bluff.

and failing to look it up is a clear sign that you don't really care about your craft.

Basically everything you said is blatantly wrong, and all of the information to say why is easily found in seconds on google so I'm not going to waste my time here.

From how it looks, you have no desire to actually act as constructive criticism. I will take constructive criticism with grain of salt it comes with. But there's nothing constructive in using that kind of language, claiming I don't care, or not help someone to find what they need to look for. I am totally justified in assuming you are nothing but a troll. And considering that there has been news of someone making criticisms in the name of people who never gave their approval to do so, how do I know you speaking in Admiral's name isn't just you making a false claim? Can you get him to tell me himself if he disapproves of my style?

D48
#24 · 3w, 2d ago · · ·

>>8131436 To be perfectly blunt, if you cared you would be looking things up on your own so I'm not going to waste any more time on you, but for the record Admiral acknowledged my help in this blog post, and I have also helped him with a number of other writing-related things including the technical details of the failure chain that killed the Ravenstar and a lot of behind the scenes work for Change is Good and Sleeping With the Girls.

#25 · 3w, 1d ago · 1 · ·

>>8131514 Okay, fair enough. I'll put more research into it and do a rewrite.

#26 · 2w, 4d ago · · 1 ·

d48

To be perfectly blunt, if you cared you would be looking things up on your own so I'm not going to waste any more time on you, but for the record Admiral acknowledged my help in this blog post, and I have also helped him with a number of other writing-related things including the technical details of the failure chain that killed the Ravenstar and a lot of behind the scenes work for Change is Good and Sleeping With the Girls.
mate, its a story about magical space horses. and all you care about is the fact that he messed up the name of a syfi radio?.

#27 · 1w, 2d ago · · ·

A good start.  I'm interested to see where this goes.  I'm also pleased to see that a good deal of the spirit of Arrow 18 has been preserved here.

I do have some criticism for the  scene on the ground, however.  It feels too much like an info dump.  There are things that are explained there that could easily wait for later chapters, such as how Randy got his legs.  That would be something that could be recorded in a later log, perhaps even by one of the Arrow 19 crew.  Part of what makes a good story is leaving things to the reader to think about.

That feeds into why I feel like the explanation of why Twilight is now in her castle and not the Library is very forced.  I would recommend rewriting that bit and leaving the exact reason for Twilight's change in residence up for reader interpretation.

As for whether or not this story is cannon to Arrow 18... that's not my place to say.  I will say that's it a plausible possibility, but we'll leave it up to Admiral Tigerclaw to declare if this unofficial squeal matches what he had in mind or not.

#28 · 1w, 2d ago · · ·

In need of cover art.

Art for Fanfiction

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