• Published 22nd Mar 2017
  • 1,059 Views, 21 Comments

Rarity Does Her Taxes - Coyotek4



Having never prepared her own Equestrian tax form before, Rarity is determined to go it alone this year.

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One rainy day in Ponyville ...

A steady rain falls over Ponyville on one particular morning. The perfect day for this, the proprietor of Carousel Boutique thinks to herself.

Her sewing machine off to the side of her workstation, Rarity performs one last check of requirements. Fresh package of quills? Check. Ink? Check. Equestrian tax form? Check. Instruction booklet for Equestrian tax form? Check. Summaries of invoices? Check. Abacus? Check.

This is the year, the fashionista says to herself. No more relying on other ponies to do this work. I’m more than capable of doing this myself. As her horn begins to glow, she opens the package of quills, levitates one, and dips the tip into a fresh well of ink, then scans the first question on the form …

“MORNING, RARITY!!!”

The abrupt interruption causes Rarity to lose focus, and the quill dots the workstation with a dab of ink, the tip snapping in half upon making contact with the desk. “Oh for …

Taking a deep breath, Rarity levitates the now-broken quill to a trash receptacle and discards it, then levitates a fresh quill from the package. Before dipping the fresh quill into the ink, she takes another breath and turns to the source of the interruption while forcing out a pleasant smile.

“Good morning, Sweetie Belle. If you need me to make breakfast, I’ll be ready in just a few minutes. I just want to at least get started on this work.”

Sweetie Belle inspects the contents of her sister’s workstation. “What’s all this for? Looks like a lot of paperwork; are you helping Twilight out with a project?”

“Oh, nothing of the sort,” Rarity answers matter-of-factly. “It’s just that time of the year again, when all of-age ponies fill out their Equestrian tax forms.”

“What about that nice construction pony who always does mom and dad’s forms?”

“Handy Brick? Yes, he’s always done well by me in the past, but it’s getting harder and harder to schedule an appointment with him. Besides, I really feel that I am much too intelligent to rely on some other pony to do this work, and in any case, he’s really gotten egotistical ever since he had his name legally changed to ‘H and Y Brick’. I mean really; you feel compelled to make your name sound like its own business?”

“Didn’t you name your last boutique ‘Rarity For You’?”

“Well that’s totally different,” Rarity answers defensively. “I named the store after me; I didn’t change my name to sound like some soulless corporation.”

“Is there anything I can do to help?”

Rarity chuckles at her sister’s offer. “Oh, you’re so kind to offer assistance, but there really isn’t much you can do here. If you like, though, you can watch how I fill out this form, so you’ll be able to tackle this on your own when you’re old enough.”

Looking out the window at the steady rain, Sweetie Belle nods an ‘OK’ in acceptance of her sister’s offer. She walks over to her sister’s special ‘fainting’ couch and nudges it with her head over to the workstation, thinking to herself how lucky she is to have already gotten her cutie mark; the idea of earning said mark for tax preparation sends a small shiver down her back. Once the couch is close enough to the workstation, she hops onto it like a booster seat and observes her sister’s work.

“Well then,” Rarity continues as she turns back to the tax form. “Let’s start with something simple: ‘Name’.” She proceeds to fill out ‘Rarity Unicorn’ on the form.

“I think you got that part in the wrong place,” Sweetie Belle suggests as she indicates the series of checkboxes in the next field: ‘Unicorn’, ‘Pegasus’, ‘Earth Pony’, ‘Alicorn’, ‘Other’.

“Oh dear, I think you’re right.” Rarity proceeds to cross out ‘Unicorn’ from her name and check the corresponding box. “There’s just so much space for one’s name in that field.”

“Isn’t your full name ‘Rarity Flanks-Crumbles’?”

Rarity bites her lip for a moment. “Well … yes, I suppose it is.” With the little space remaining in the field, Rarity squeezes in her last name as her sister detects a slight groan.

“Do any of your friends even know your last name?”

Rarity turns to her sister and glares. “Do any of your ‘Cutie Mark Crusader’ friends know your last name?”

Sweetie Belle’s eyes dart to their corners. “Uh, no, I guess not.”

“Don’t get me wrong,” Rarity continues as she turns back to the tax form, “I love our parents very much … but there are aspects about them that I get a little … well, embarrassed about. Now then …” She continues scanning and filling in the top portion of the form.

“Rarity? What’s ‘Personal ID Number’? I never heard of it, and Miss Cheerilee never taught it to us.”

“Oh, well everypony is issued a personal identification number at birth. They’re used to keep track of all civilized creatures in Equestria.”

“But why?” her sister persists.

“I suppose to avoid confusion, in case multiple ponies have the same name.”

Really? So you think that somewhere else in Equestria there’s another ‘Rarity’? Or another ‘Sweetie Belle’?”

“I know there’s a ‘Sugar Belle’ in Starlight’s old village,” Rarity is quick to answer. “And think about it: there are thousands, if not tens of thousands, of ponies all about Equestria. There simply aren’t enough names for everypony’s to be unique.”

Sweetie Belle ponders her sister’s comment. “Do you think you’ll ever meet another ‘Rarity’?”

“I suppose anything is possible,” her sister replies as she scans the rest of the front page of the tax form.

“Do you think the other Rarity will be like you? Another fashion designer?”

Rarity scoffs at the notion. “Please, Sweetie Belle. There are many fashion ponies in Equestria, but only one Rarity.”

“But you just said—“

“I’m sure that this ‘other’ Rarity you envision is special in some other field, like music or … engineering. And who’s to say that this other Rarity is even a unicorn? It’s certainly possible that there’s a pegasus with the same name as myself, or even an earth pony.” Rarity pauses in thought. “Well, perhaps a pegasus, anyway.”

“Well, what about your friends? You think there’s another Twilight Sparkle out there?”

Rarity turns to her sister. “Sweetie Belle, I’ve already learned about a Sunset Shimmer and we’ve met a Starlight Glimmer. I’d be surprised if there wasn’t another Twilight Sparkle out there.”

“Wow. Can you imagine going through life with the same name as an alicorn princess?”

Rarity cringes at the thought. “I’m sure it isn’t easy for said pony, constantly living in the shadow of one’s namesake.”

“And could you imagine a pegasus with the name ‘Pinkie Pie’? Or a unicorn?”

“Oh sweet Celestia, Pinkie Pie is quirky enough as an earth pony! Now please, I’ve been sidetracked enough.” Rarity turns back to the form and begins the main section. “Let’s see, ‘dependents’ …”

“What are ‘dependents’?”

“Basically, anypony who you take care of who can’t take care of him- or herself. Like Mr. and Mrs. Cake; they have two sweet, adorable foals to raise, so combined, they have two dependents.”

“Three if you count Pinkie Pie.”

Rarity chuckles. “No, Sweetie Belle, Pinkie Pie would not count as a ‘dependent’ for the Cakes.”

“But why not? Doesn’t she live in Sugarcube Corner? She’s practically a big sister to Pound and Pumpkin.”

“I’m sure Pinkie Pie fills out her taxes like all other able-bodied ponies,” Rarity asserts with an air of confidence. Or at least, I hope she does; I daresay the back-taxes she’d owe after so many years could be a problem.

“So Rarity, do I count as a dependent?”

“Well, you do for mom and dad. You live with them, so I assume they still claim you as a dependent.”

“But I spend a lot of time with you, too. Can’t you all claim me as a dependent?”

“I’m afraid it doesn’t work that way, Sweetie Belle. You can’t be claimed as a dependent by multiple ponies; it’s simply not allowed.”

“Then why do mom and dad still claim you as a dependent?”

“WHAT!!?” Sweetie Belle’s query causes Rarity to lose concentration as her quill flies off and lands on an unfinished dress; a bead of ink subsequently runs down said dress, stirring more anger.

“Oh, for the love of …” Rarity quickly levitates cloth towels and solvents towards the ink stain to undo the damage done to the dress. As she works to clean off the ink, she addresses her sister.

“What do you mean, mom and dad still claim me as a dependent? I run my own business now!”

“I just remember them claiming both of us last year when we went to ‘H and Y Brick’.”

“I need to have a long conversation with mom and dad,” Rarity fumes. “Do they know how much trouble I could get into? They haven’t gone to do their taxes this year yet, have they?”

“No, I think they scheduled an appointment next weekend. Maybe you should just come with us, and we can all do them at the same time.”

“I don’t need to go back to Handy Brick,” Rarity angrily insists. She takes a breath to regain composure before continuing. “I just need to calmly remind our parents that I am a big mare now, and I no longer rely on their assistance. Now then, where was I … ah yes, I need to fill this form out.”

Rarity levitates a fresh page of the tax form to the forefront: ‘Business Form’. She scans the form and quietly gulps. “My, there certainly are a lot of boxes on this form.”

“Are you sure you can do this, Rarity? There’s no shame in just having—“

I got this,” Rarity quickly asserts. “I just need to go through each of these boxes in turn. Now let’s see … ‘Carousel Boutique’ … code 448120 … ah, gross receipts or sales.”

“ ‘Gross’ receipts? What’s so gross about all of this?”

“It’s just a figure of speech,” Rarity answers as she levitates the abacus and begins moving the beads back and forth. “Not ‘gross’ as in … off-putting.”

“I think Scootaloo would consider most anything associated with dress-up as ‘gross’.”

“Yes, well I think a good portion of Rainbow Dash has rubbed off on your friend Scootaloo. Some ponies simply have no sense of taste for the finer things in life. Like Rainbow Dash … and especially Applejack.”

“So what does ‘gross’ mean for taxes?”

“ ‘Gross’ refers to the total amount of bits I take in from the sale of dresses and accessories, before factoring in expenses like raw materials and labor. Anything I earn after factoring in expenses is referred to as ‘net’.”

“Wait, so ‘net’ also has a new meaning? I thought a net is something you catch butterflies in. Or tomatoes. Last week, Apple Bloom bet I couldn’t catch a tomato in the net, and … well, it ended up impaled on my horn. Actually, that was kinda gross.”

“That’s nice, darling,” Rarity asides as she continues to work the abacus while surveying numerous receipts. Sweetie Belle thinks better of accusing her sister of not paying attention, and instead peruses the receipts.

“Wow, you really sold a lot of dresses this year!”

“Business was good this year,” Rarity replies as she lowers the abacus and re-levitates her quill. “And then there was the rapid expansion of my brand. Canterlot. Manehattan. Why, at this rate I may be able to expand to more cities. Las Pegasus, perhaps? Or maybe Baltimare.”

“What about Fillydelphia?”

Rarity’s eyes narrow as she shakes her head. “There are … ‘experiences’, that I’ve had in Fillydelphia that I’d rather not get into at the present time. Suffice to say, I’m giving that city a wide berth until further notice.”

“Wait, you’ve been to Fillydelphia? When?”

“A couple times, and those trips … well, they didn’t go particularly well.” Seeking to change the subject, Rarity turns back to the form. “OK, now for expenses,” she says as she once again works the abacus, accounting for raw materials and labor costs.

As Rarity calculates, her sister peruses the instructions for filling out the tax form. She pauses at an unfamiliar term, then innocently asks, “Rarity, what does ‘W2’ stand for?” Rarity sets down the abacus and turns to Sweetie Belle.

“Honestly, I don’t know. But I don’t have to worry about that section; I’m my own boss. W2s are only for those in the employ of others.”

“You mean like Sassy Saddles? And Coco Pommel?”

“Exactly,” Rarity continues to explain, “they would require a W2 to complete their own tax forms. They would get those forms from their … employer … uh oh …” her eye twitches involuntarily; moments later, Rarity shuffles copious amounts of paper around, searching for information.

“What’s wrong?” Sweetie Belle asks, taken aback by her sister’s sudden change in temperament.

I forgot to send out W2s to Sassy and Coco!” Rarity admits as she searches through various receipts. “All that expansion of my business … I never had employees managing my stores before. It completely slipped my mind.”

“Maybe this year you should just go back to H and Y Brick, like mom and dad always do. There’s no shame in asking for help.”

Rarity abruptly turns to her sister as papers scatter and fall to the ground. “For the last time, I don’t need to see Handy Brick! I can figure this out perfectly well enough on my own! Now … I’m sure you have schoolwork to catch up on, so why not work on that while I figure everything out here.”

Sweetie Belle quietly nods her head, turns, and strolls away as Rarity levitates the fallen pages back into a cohesive order. The tax forms back in orderly fashion, she again pores through receipts while working the abacus.


Morning turns to mid-afternoon. Sweetie Belle, having completed an upcoming assignment, pops back in to check on her sister’s progress.

“All caught up on my schoolwork, sis,” the foal cheerfully declares. “Some of my classmates say we’re learning about probability next week. Maybe Miss Cheerilee will have us run a casino or something. That could be interesting.” She hops back on the couch and looks over Rarity’s work. “So how are you holding up?”

“Sweetie Belle, you’re just in time!” Rarity’s tone of self-confidence brings a sigh of relief from her sister. “I told you that I could do all this on my own, and I have! All that’s left to do now is total everything up and see what I owe this great nation of Equestria.”

“That’s awesome, sis! I, uh, knew you could do it!”

Rarity smiles at the sight of Sweetie Belle’s eyes reaching for their corners. “The way you lie, you could be related to Applejack … but I appreciate your support all the same. Now then …”

For the final time, Rarity levitates the abacus; the beads whir back and forth as the elder unicorn sibling totals all her earnings and costs.

“Two hundred … carry the 10 … and that comes to … wait, that can’t be right. Let me start that again.”

The abacus still magically floating in air, Rarity pushes all the beads back to one side and recalculates. Minutes later …

THIRTY-SIX HUNDRED BITS??? HOW IN EQUESTRIA DO I OWE THIRTY-SIX HUNDRED BITS?” Rarity scans the entirety of her main tax form, looking for some omission or discrepancy to explain her surprising deficiency.

A look of concern grows on Sweetie Belle’s visage. “Rarity? Are you going to lose your home and business?”

“No, no, certainly not,” Rarity replies as she continues to scan her tax form. “I’m just missing something from last year’s form, is all. I’ve never owed bits to Equestria before, and I doubt such is the case now.”

“Well if you need assistance this year, I’m sure your friends can help you out. I mean, you’ve always been generous with others.”

Rarity stops and looks up, the word ‘generous’ having sparked a memory. “Wait a minute. Of course! That’s what I’ve forgotten!”

“What, that you’re generous? Rarity, aren’t you the Element of Generosity?”

Rarity levitates open the instruction booklet as she explains: “I haven’t forgotten who I am, Sweetie Belle, I just forgot one of the implications regarding my tax forms. I forgot to mark down on my form all the deductions related to donations.”

“So … you gave away thirty-six hundred bits this year?”

“ ‘Gave away’ is a bit strong, dearie. I believe in helping out social causes. United Neigh, Fillybundance, those kinds of things. I do that, of course, because I think it’s the right thing to do; those with the means ought to help out those unable to help themselves.”

After several turnings of pages, Rarity comes across the section dealing with tax write-offs. She gulps at the sheer size of the section. “Oh my, this is a bit more complicated than I remember.”

“Did Filthy Rich make any changes while he was mayor?”

“Even if that were the case, that would be at the local level, not associated with all of Equestria.” Having answered her sister’s question, Rarity scans through the instructions. Her eyes glaze as she pours through column after column.

10% of proceeds … fill out subsection PT-37 … if total income is greater than 20,000 bits, proceed to worksheet QZ-238 … indicate specifics of … fill out in triplicate …

Seeing her sister teetering and losing balance, Sweetie Belle instinctively leaps off the couch and nudges it to behind Rarity, who promptly collapses on top of it as she loses consciousness.


Rarity? … Rarity? … Are you OK? …

Rarity’s eyes flicker open, and she sees her sister staring at her supine figure. She sighs, then turns to address her sister face-to-face. “Sweetie Belle?”

“Yes Rarity?”

“As you pointed out,” she starts, “I am the Element of Generosity, am I not?”

“Uh … yeah?” Sweetie Belle responds uneasily.

“And generosity means many things … and one of them is offering gainful employment to others when possible. Would you agree with that sentiment?”

Sweetie Belle pauses for a moment. “I guess so.”

“Well I’m very glad to hear that from you.” Rarity lets out one final sigh …

“Grab an umbrella. We’re going to H and Y Brick.”

Comments ( 21 )

This entire story is why I do not do my own taxes.

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This story was gold. You got Rarity and Sweetie nailed down pat. :twilightsmile:

This is the first story that I've actually, well, read on here in quite some time. The premise caught my eye, so I decided to check it out.

I'm glad I did. Rarity and Sweetie Belle bounced off of one another very well. I especially liked how Sweetie Belle inadvertently helped Rarity many times with her taxes despite not knowing anything about them, just by simply asking questions. It was funny to see how Rarity still viewed her as a bit of a nuisance despite the fact that Sweetie saved her bacon more than once during the process. They both felt very in-character.

There are a couple of things I want to mention, though. Firstly, I noticed that your story started with one of those "it was a dark and stormy night" kind of beginnings, where the weather report is given more or less in the first line of the story. That is a major turn-off for just about any story, and I will not lie, it took me a bit to decide that I wanted to read the rest of it. I'm very glad I did, but there are many stories that are not so good that have very similar "weather report" starts to them.

And secondly, though this doesn't really have anything to do with the story... you really need to get some cover art for the thumbnail for this story. It doesn't have to be fancy, made in Photoshop or commissioned from an artist, but just something to grab the eye. A vector of one of the characters, a picture of Rarity looking exasperated, etc. will do wonders to get more people to notice your story and get it the recognition and viewership it deserves.

Thanks for writing this one. I really enjoyed it. Best of luck with your taxes, good fellow!

8042136 First off, let me say that your comments are easily the highest praise I've received for any work I've contributed to this site (so far). For that, you have my deepest thanks.

I will admit that the part of the Fic I liked the least, by far, was my decision on naming the 'chapter' of the Fic. And yeah, I probably could have just cut off that first sentence and lose nothing. Something to keep in mind for the future.

As for cover art, I'll be honest: I have no real idea where to begin when it comes to finding artwork. Are there particular places with appropriate pics that I can use? I could use some advice in that regards; after a dozen Fics, I would like to finally put some covers on 'em.

Thx again (to you and all others) for reading!

While a good little fic. There's one thing here that did annoy me.

And that was the last name bit (Flanks-Crumble) mostly since it was not even a few paragraphs later made unneeded and redundant (what with the "do you think there is another Rarity / Twilight Sparkle" bit.). Mostly since in Equestria ponies with one or even two word names are common, and other than ponies with a tradition of adding their names to their progeny (usually earth ponies). There are no last, nor middle names in Equestria (there are only 4 cannon ponies with three word names (Ignacious Rock Pie, Diamond Dazzle Tiara, Pinkmena Diane Pie, and Mi Amore Cadenza).

So Rarity, being just Rarity is not just canon, but makes sense in the whole naming convention of ponies. As well as makes the following stream of questions Sweets asks Rares of others sharing names of ponies they know more impactful / amusing (people tacking on last or middle names onto ponies is a pet peeve of mine. Sorry XD. Especially for when it's not really needed.).

That little rant aside. I can see this being an actual thing on the show, or even Rarity herself going through this problem. And that adds onto the humor of it all. So all in all. This was a good little fic. You're getting a fav and an upvote.

Back in the 1990s I read that if every person on Earth was a CPA or bookkeeper, the IRS still couldn't handle everyone's taxes without computers -just not enough man hours of labor available. The situation has no doubt only gotten worse since then.

Since EQ doesn't have computers, the tax situation must be simpler

"Taxman" by the Beatles

Ah yes, the great Equestrian Tax Department. Run by D.S Chord and Associates. :twilightoops:

8044321

As for cover art, I'll be honest: I have no real idea where to begin when it comes to finding artwork. Are there particular places with appropriate pics that I can use?

Honestly, I just use Google Images most of the time. :twilightsheepish: Usually, I just provide a source link to the image and credit whatever artist made the image in the story's description. DeviantArt and Derpibooru are also good places to search for images that you could use.

And you are very welcome, man. It was a good story.

Trixie use's ufile to do hers

8046925
Well better late than never, I suppose. (It helps to live with an incredible artist!)

8042136
8044595
You know, 'weather report' openings don't bother me so long as they're short. It was literally one sentence, and it led into the next. The chapter title... meh. Honestly just calling it something like "Chapter 1: Section 4Z3S2" or something would probably have worked better. 'Course there is only one chapter so maybe drop the first part of that.

WRT last and/or middle names: I don't know that it's too much of a stretch to assume that, at least, Earth ponies have family or clan names commonly. Whether the other races do is up in the air, I suppose. We've rarely had situations in the show where formal names are merited. All I can think of is "A Canterlot Wedding", and they conveniently avoided giving Shining Armor's name in a formal context, so we don't know if he and Twilight have a common last name or not (actually, since he married into royalty, he'd presumably take Cadence's last name if "Mi Amore" is a family name of some sort). Thus we're left with the Earth pony families/clans.

*ahem* Anyway, highly amusing. Thankfully, my taxes are generally pretty simple. The fact that I have yet to exceed the standard deduction helps, as do computer programs.

8069996

Actually when it comes to ponies. We do know how their names work.

In that we have both the CCG Card list featuring Canon Names. And we have List of Canon Pony Names.

There really is no Last or Middle Names for all ponies. Some ponies carry a shared thematic naming scheme (Such as if you look at the Apple Family, 99% of them have either the word Apple in their name, or are named after an apple (Braeburn / Big MkIntosh) with Hayseed Turnip Truck being the odd ball of the Apple Family). or Twilight Velvet and Twilight Sparkle (with Shining Armor and Nightlight not sharing a thematic naming scheme. Or even the Shy Family with Zephyr Breeze not having Shy in the name. (Only two families use a shared 'name' the Pies (but not for the mother ... and they are odd balls), and the Cakes. Diamond Dazzle Tiara doesn't share a thematic name with her father nor her mother's original name.).

But there are hundreds of one or two word named ponies (with a small hooful of three named ponies). And there is no last names, nor middle names. And it is also wrong to say that Shining Armor wasn't introduced formally. Just like Nightlight's name is Nightlight. Shining Armor's name is Shining Armor (a play on the word 'Knight in Shining Armor.' Which is also a play on his CM / Special Talent (protection / shield cantrips)).

But we see tons of unicorns and pegasi families. But very few of them share a thematic naming scheme. And even then it's not shared by all members of that family.

8070630 CCG is second-tier canon at best and that list you linked is a fan wiki. I was trying to stick strictly to the show. Yes, to all intents and purposes, they don't have last names if for no other reason than the toys don't list them (and let us not forget the show's reason for existence is to sell toys... and now other merch). However, the writers of the show could, in principle, change their minds since it's never explicitly said that they don't. Consequently, I don't have a problem with fanfic writers supplying family names. Middle names for the pony versions are iffy, but for Equestria Girls it makes sense.

Regardless, I could have been a bit clearer. I tend to mean show-only unless I state otherwise, but I realize not everyone does.

Random side-note: We do know that ponies have the concept of middle names, since RD jokingly said her middle name was 'daring' at one point and 'professionalism' at another. I think Pinkie is the only one who really has a middle name in the sense of a seldom-used moniker that's still part of her legal name.

8071106

I think the middle name thing (such as "Pinkie 'Responsibility' Pie", and "Rainbow 'Danger' Dash) could have been picked up from a different race. Or it could be the writer's simply throwing in the joke 'my name is (or 'or my name isn't) 'First name '(ad)verb / adjective' Last name'. ). Other than that, yeah there are a few three named ponies (Igneous Rock Pie; Pinkamena Diane Pie (the only pony to have a human word in there. But she's an exception ... and the writer's being tards on that); Mi Amore Cadenza; Hayseed Turnip Truck; and Diamond Dazzle Tiara).

So yeah. A pony having a technical 'middle name' could be a thing. But not all ponies have them, and it usually follows a thematic approach to things. As for the last name bit. Again, on the show it's not really a thing. I mean it's common for Earth Ponies to have a solid theme, with a word in their name (such as the Apple's), but using the Sweet Apple Acre's family name as an example. Granny Smith (a type of Apple) isn't Granny Smith Apple; and Apple Bloom isn't Apple Bloom Apple. Rather all of the Apple Family (minus Turnip Truck Hayseed) follow an Apple theme.). The Cake's follow a Cake theme. Although the Rich's follow it loosely (with Diamond being the exception).

How I see it. The show uses names that follow a personality trait, attribute, predicted skill/ability, or even a favorite hobby. And some families use / follow family themes that not all ponies in that family fall into, but a majority do. Although Pinkie Pie ... a part of me thinks the whole Diane thing was thrown in there to highlight how different she is from everypony else by the writers (seeing as she has powers and abilities that defy logic, rationality, the laws of reality, and / or pony norms.). (although the CCG does use the show for it's cards. And does follow what the names are in the show. So that's why I consider it canon. Since it uses canon for it's stuff.).

8071176 Forgot about the 'responsibility' one.

You missed one thing: Granny Smith calls her parents and her the "Smith Family". Apparently, she's the equivalent of their maternal grandmother. Actually, since pony society is mostly matriarchal, it's likely she's their paternal grandmother.

The Pie family is an odd outlier. Given they're shown as being like certain religious groups (like the Amish), it's probable that they're following older traditions that most Earth Ponies have stopped using.

Of course all of the rest of that is what's generally done: All I'm saying is that there's enough wiggle room that the writers could later claim they've always had family/last names later if they want, and consequently there's some wiggle room for fanfic writers.

WRT the CCG, that's true for the most part, but they have occasionally made up names (Kevin comes to mind) or quotes that are not from the show and thus not necessarily canon. Anything they take from the show, the show (and/or scripts for it or toys from it) is the actual source of canon.

I don't know how this ran on so long: my only point was I don't feel like an author adding last/family names should automatically count against a story. Same with starting with a 'weather report', though no one invited discussion on that one.

8071215

I was going to bring that up, and yes they were "The Smith Family" hundreds of years ago (in Winter Wrap Up, their traditions have been going on for hundreds of years. According to Applejack.) But changed it to "The Apple's" once they started Sweet Apple Acres. Now there are probably off shoots of the Smith's.

But much like Spoiled B***h taking on the name Spoiled Rich. They probably changed their name to reflect their new name sake / the gift given to them by Celestia.

But those names aren't last one's (last mean's the shared name comes at the end. Where as thematic shared names pop up where ever it's appropriate). Rather are Thematic Ones (other than one pony. All Apple's have Apple theme'd names. Which Granny Smith just happened to luck into being named after (as well as the one who discovered the magical apple's that made them famous.)). Yeah some themeatic names work at the end. Like the Pie's or the Cake's. But then you have Twilight's family who has Twilight Sparkle and Twilight Velvet. Or the Rich's with Stinking Rich, Filthy Rich, and Spoiled Rich. Where not every pony in the family tree share's the theme.

Although you're right on the Amish Pie's. They seem to follow a really old religion, and are major outliers. As seen in being the only one's to Grow / Farm rocks. Even though they have a crystal mine nearby. Or their '"name" sense'. As well as well ... them giving birth to whatever it is Pinkie Pie is (other than adorable).

As for my dislike of Last Names. In all of the merch, in the show's name, etc. We're given names. Throwing a random word at the end; or even their thematic name at the end. Isn't their name (I gave example's with the Apple's above. Same would also include such example's as Diamond Dazzle Tiara (throwing in a Rich); or Zephyr Breeze (and throwing a Shy).

Middle names are even worse. Noone takes into account how important theme's are to pony names. Nor focusing on making it fit (Pinkie Pie is the exclusion not the rule). With name's that don't match the pony in question (like Rainbow Merriam Dash (or Rainbow Misery/Star of the Ocean Dash). That and they have name's. Sure the writer's could add more. But they won't. It'd mess with the branding / merchandise already out there. The name's they use are recognizable, easy to memorize, and sellable. They'd have no reason to change it now (7 years into it's production).

8071875 I'm a bit sloppy with my nomenclature, but family name is the last name in European traditions, but in some traditions it's put first. Thus when I said "last name" I meant "family name". I don't know that it necessarily follows that the Smith Family became the Apple Family wholesale: we don't know how they deal with family groups and marriages. You do present an interesting alternative to either a matriarchal or patriarchal position. Though at some point they seemed to just include all descendants of some couple, since the Oranges are considered part of the family despite not being in anything agriculturally related (as near as can be seen).

I have never seen those middle names, but they do not sound particularly good, no. All I'm saying is, the concept exists. Judging by the Pie family, the given-middle-family name sequence is probably an ancient Earth Pony custom that most don't follow anymore. Regardless, the potential is there, so I don't find it so obnoxious as to be an automatic mark against the story unless there is a particularly bad one like Mirriam which doesn't fit the character at all. In this case, it seemed loosely thematic with her parents (sort of? I can't remember their names right off actually). At the very least, it sounded pony-ish.

Eh, the writers could introduce family names for the non-Earth-ponies if they felt it was important, is all I'm saying. It's not especially likely since it hasn't been done, but you don't see Pinkie Pie marketed as Pinkamena Diane Pie, so I don't think toy marketing is necessarily an impediment.

8071933

Now family name (what I was talking about) and last names are different XD. But yes. We can agree on Family names, since that was what I was pointing out in my posts. Last name's are names that are inherited as the last name of a person (or in some cases hyphenated to join two last names (such as Wheeler-Schonemann)).

As for RD's parent's we are only told about her father. Rainbow Blaze. But yeah. In this stories case. Rarity is a single named pony. Where as her father, Hondo Flanks and her mother Cookie Crumble. Don't share a name. And Sweetie Belle's name is likewise not shared.

But yes. Ponies having a shared thematic name (family name) is something that's canon (albeit it's neither last nor first. Rather it's placed whereever it's thematically appropriate). Although there are family member's who don't follow the family naming themes (although those are as rare as 3 named ponies. At least where thematic naming convections are applied to families).

As for the Oranges. That can be chalked up to the fact that an Orange married AJ's/Big Mac's/AB's mother/father (whoever was the Apple). And Apple's seem to go to rather odd length's to who and what they'd consider family. So marrying an Apple, probably makes that pony / family practically Apple's in it's own right.

8071953 Ah, that's their names, and that's where the last name here came from. I thought it was from something like that.

WRT the Oranges: Ok, yeah, that's also possible. Your earlier comment got me thinking about a situation where the Earth Pony family names (Apple and Pie being the two examples) are inherited only partly by genetics and partly by profession. So, for instance, if Apple Bloom had children who decided not to be involved in the Apple business, then if this model were in effect, they would not be considered part of the 'Apple' family as the name would reflect profession as well as lineage. The Apples clearly don't do that. Perhaps the Pies do, or perhaps they keep family names for a different reason. In some insular communities (the one I am aware of is certain Hispanic communities in south Texas/Northern Mexico, though they're not so insular anymore), it is tradition to keep family names going back to grandparents as middle names in order to identify near-kin (and thus not marry them). I can't recall if it was an acquaintance or student who explained that to me, but at any rate that might be the reasoning behind the Pie family all keeping the name Pie: they're patterned after groups like the Amish who tend to be rather insular. This way, they can figure out if they're related to another person in their community and thus exclude them as a potential mate. We know they do have a 'choosing stone' ritual of some sort, but that could run either way. There could be a pool of potential candidates chosen from (which the family or the intended set), or it could be an individual or some sort of magic chooses a specific person.

A nice, funny story. The deserved comments about how well you captured the interactions between Rarity and Sweetie Belle have already been said; I don't really know what to add to it.

However, there are some errors:

“Not ‘gross’ as in … oft-putting.”

Misspelling. It's "off-putting".

The tax forms back in orderly fashion, she again pours through receipts while working the abacus.

Homophone error. The word you're looking for is "pores", not "pours".

8110639
Being the grammar-nazi that I can be, I took the liberty of fixing those typos. Thx for noticing.

“I forgot to send out W2s to Sassy and Coco!”
Ah, the joys of working for a small business owner.

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