Nightmare Moon survives the Elements' power and takes Twilight as her prisoner. Now, the alicorn queen must establish her monarchy and defend her rightful place as queen against those that oppose her.
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Rarity trying to murder Twilight I wonder where I've heard that in this story :) smug fave time 92732
107877 Twas only a dream, but yes.
107901 still counts
I'm not really good with words so I'll just say:
i1207.photobucket.com/albums/bb461/LegionScavenger/MOAR.png
Still not better Peppy? That's really unfortunate, but thank you for the new chapter, it's a very good read.
I am really interested to see how Twilight attempt to move away from her guilt. Killing somepony is one thing I don't think that can be easily overcome.
Okay all aboard it's time for me to roll with a trian of thought untill it derails rather spectacuarly! That's right it time for another Wall-O-Text!
Wall-O-Text
Uh I don't think that a gaint death mech is what she need at the moment Clonetrooperkev, Though I guess said mech could be worse it could have the Zero system too.
Er Peppy I think it might be time to go see the Doc if this is persisting as much as it is.
Now This is intresting Twilight's dreams are not only getting far wors they also seem to be activily screwing with her given the mood Whiplash this one seemed to be going for. Yeesh sugary sweet one moment and the next something right out of an episode of the "Twilight Zone" Twi's subconsious is a nasty little thing when provoaked isn't it? I can only guess how the dream would have continued if Rarity hadn't gotten greedy and ended Twilight herself. I'm seeing Fluttershy reinacting a scene from "The Birds" Pinkies Party turning into a good ol' fashion Lynh mob, Spike either goring or raosting her alive up in her room. Though this does leave open the really odd possiblity of Nightmare riding to her rescue/claiming Twilight for herself when she crashes the Summer Sun Celibration.
Back once more to Rarity's section of the deam, it has something of a "Silent Hill" feel to it at first with the object of Twilight's guilt haunting her relentlessly. The real kicker though is Rarity play the part of Chucky from "Child's Play." Given the way that twilight's dreams seem to be playing out I;'m wondering if she hasn't read a book or two on the interpretation of dreams or just some good old Frued. I really wouldn't be shocked if she had to be honest, while Magic, History, and Astronomey seem to be her favoret topics I can see her reading anything that sparks her interest.
Now here's a nice bit of fun, it seems that at somepoint Nightmare desided to look into Twilight's dreams. I wonder is it just morbid cuoisty or is she showing some real affection for Twilihgt? Well I know that I'd like to say it's the latter but that could just be bais on my part. Still it's good to see that she isn't being idle at the moment both consering her "Pet" and her new nation though granted on can only imagin how she'll be able to dum up a new force given the total rought this last fight was, still the remnets of the Royal gaurd are in a similar spot.
Ah here we are back in Ponyvil can you smell that, it's the smell of emotinal fallout. I know you've said that you don't like to write Rarity, however I think that you handled her quite well in this situation. While she is prone to being incredibly mellowdramtic I can see her being far more restrained and conflicted it a situation such as this one. I also like how you show us that the others are very conflicted about this whole situation. They want to believe the best of thier friend but also seem to realize that she is driffting away from them slowly but steadily. Also it's good to hear them going the extra mile for Spike. Though I'm not sure if them keeping this secret from him will do im or them any good in the long run. What's better him finding out now with them to soften the blow or him finding out later and possibly in a less gentile way?
Wall-O-Text
Well that train of thought took a while to hop the tracks, so any casulties?
On the subject of the History Channel, I don't know I just know that isn't the worst of it. They also have all kinds of other programns like "Anichent Astronaughts", "Devinci Code" knockoffs, and a show about cars and racing/modifiying them.
108205 This wall of text brought to you by:
~Excerpt from a soldier in Nightmare Moons army~
(page is covered in streaks of soot, and part of it has a complex formula written on it)
hrmm, almost got the kinks worked out, still cant get that no-light formula to work, still doesn't have the kick necessary to start the fireworks...
-
I don't understand why everyone is afraid of the commander; sure, she looks different, but she's still a pony, just like anypony else. She even laughs like anypony else, as we all saw with that little filly out on the training grounds. I don't know why I keep thinking of her, I am a married stallion...
-
(page is wet, as though covered in tears)
Celestia has truly forsaken us, if she has allowed those....Monsters to do that to my town, my home, my.... my....
(writing is distorted here, and is unreadable)
The...The captain herself came in to tell me the news, and told me of how Celestia had betrayed her, how she put that anger to use serving the Queen... She's right of course... But I think I'll need to revise my formulas...
Heh nice, I'm kinda wondering who got thier hooves on this colt's dairy after that slaughter went down. I'm guessing Twilight as I couldn't really see her throwing away a book that was in decent condition. Nightmare, Mon Beam, or most of the staff wouldn't care and would just leave it to rott or simpaly pitch it with the dead. There is a slim chance that another party got hold of it but I can't really think of who that might be though.
Back to the fic, I wonder if Hypnosill or some equivilent can be found in Equestria? For those who arn't in the know Hyponsill was a drug in Freedy Vs. Jason that allowed for dreamless sleep. Moving right along, I could see equestria having some kind of equivilent to it, be it a pill, spell, or potion of sorts. Though if it isn't a spell Twilight may be in for a bit of trouble given that while we know she can sling spells like few others we don't know if she can brew a potion or make a pill. I can see her having a passing knowlege of alchemy or potion making but really the latter two are more Zecora's area then hers.
Also Royal cort is back in session? This shall proove to be quite intresting. I wonder what sort of reactions Nightmare and Twilight will get when court has begon? Blueblood may be a twit but he has self preservations skills in the least (Just ask Rarity the pony shield.) so I don't see him going out of his way to be an arrogent jerk. Though the real treat will be seeing just what positions are in the Royal court of Equestria and who holds them.
108332 It would be great if said book was found after the... Revisions... that are going to be made to the formulas. But don't count our pyrotechnical pony out yet!
I wonder who would want to step up into the position of of someone who was just murdered, by the Queens pet, no less.
speaking of which, "Now she's keeping ponies as pets? I knew that mare was a sick PERSON," from the story should read as "pony" otherwise, a great chapter!
108356 Oops, I wrote that out, caught it, and must have rewrote it the same way >.> Celestia damned brain! Do what I tell you to!
All thar could be said has been said, so just take this and keep up the good work
Nothing to say that already hasn't but keep it up this is turing into one of the top 10 I've read here so far, in my opinion atleast.
107984YES, I approve, screw death star, Twilight in a mech hells yhea
Also I think that Twi should apply for Brooks old job...
108852
Why Brook's job? Why be head maid when you can be the advisior?
108887Good Point Twi should apply for that job instead, let...I don't know....Lyra be head maid or something.
108949
If the only competition comes from the upper crust of society then there should not be any difficulty in her landing the job.
108982And I'm pretty sure that NMM can trust Twilight not to stab her in the back, which is pretty much what she's after.
This story has continued to have a high quality that I have enjoyed reading. Every Chapter has been a delight and has purpose in the overall story and none of them I would consider as filler material either (Not even the Hearth's Warming Eve one).
I Enjoyed your portrayal of the characters in this chapter, the conflicting views of Twilight and the very real possibility that they've lost Twilight to Nightmare Moon will no doubt effect and scar the rest of the Mane 6 and Spike later in the story.
Glad to see Nightmare go off to recruit a New Army, Our Empress of the Night is not an idle Pony .
Edit: Now removing my goof up
Twilight would make a good advisore, in time. Right now she's too much of an emotinal wreck to be of use for that position. Also even when she does get her mind more in order she would still have to deal with the issue of just how close she is to Nightmare. There is a reason you never see husbind wife combos in office like that.
As for the court itself if they're smart they won't mob Nightmare right off the bat with pointless issues or attempts to curry favor. Though considering the group I'm including has Blueblood and most likely jet set, Upper Crust and the rest of the Sheep from that newest rarity episode a few weeks back I don't know if they are that smart barring Fancy Pants who I would be surprised if he wasn't trying to use his witts and resources to get Celestia back on the throne.
Really though the problem with speculation about the royal court is we know so very little about how Equestrian goverment works Granted this leaves writers plenty of room to flex thier creative muscel is also leaves alot of room for mistakes as well. Though I will admit that the auther of "The Night's favored Child" seems to be doing a good job with this, concept in thier fic.
Also I wonder how much of a breather we're going to get befor Peppy drops another bombshell on us? Something tells me that things won't stay calm for too long befor something big is in motion. Also I pity the poor fools who go after Nightmare or Twilight next. Nightmare because Twilight is steadly drawing herself closer to the mare and is rather desporet for any kind of affection at this point. Throw in Moon beam and the Queen herself and I don't see any attempts on her life going too well. As for attempts on Twilight's life you face much the same issues Twilight has show a willingness to shed blood in defence of her own life, granted she won't reval in it and it will tear her up inside for now I imagen after the third attempte on her life she'll stop feeling so simpathetic towrd her attackers. Moon Beam is very protective of those she considders family, and friends as the Royal guard can attest. As for Nightmare, I can't see her showing any pitty to those who dare to try and take awaysomething that she considers valuble let alone a pony who has shown potentail to be an invaluble asset with proper treatment.
109301
Modified moon and it has been done (prior to moving into the new palace).
109307 Hopefully that bombshell won't(who am I kidding, I would love for it to) come from:
~Excerpt from the diary of a soldier in Nightmare Moons army~
(greater part of the page is covered in soot and increasingly complex formulas)
Hrmm, that in creases the power of it, but it wont be able to be contained in paper, its too volatile. Much too volatile. Won't do any good against those PUPPETS soldiers of THE BETRAYER Celestia if LONG MAY SHE REIGN the Queens forces are killed by it...
-
I... I don't know what's been coming over me recently... ever since I lost my family, all I can do is think about her...and it feels... fells like there's something dark within me... I looked back at my previous log... I don't even remember writing half of that... but the formulas look sound, and the no-light formula appears to be nearly completed...
-
(entire page consists of one phrase repeated)
FLAME SHALL ENSURE THE DARK ONES REIGN
-
(page appears to be charred on the edges)
That last one was too close... I've been gettingCLOSE, SO CLOSE reckless, but it's still not ready yet. I'll have to give up sleep entirely if I want to ENSURE THE DARK ONES REIGN work out the kinks in this formula...
~
Slightly longer one this time! I'll probably have it finished up soon, though
Heh this little ficlett of yours is intresting Rebelfire. Maybe it's just because I'm feeling abit goofier then normal today but your unnamed guardspony seems to be giving off vibes that range somewhere between mad scientist, and mad artist. Tweak his personality abit, and have him spit out a few "Art is a bang!" and you have the FiM version of a Naruto villian.
You know I just thought of something, who's going to trian the Night Guard with Cloudy stuck on bedrest? Also I want to bring up once more that should Twilight choose to she could become a true MONSTER on the battlefield. I bring this up again as I could see her asking to be taught abit about combat magic as a means to defend herself along with Knightmare and Moon beam. Hell even without magic she prooved herself cabible of protecting her queen on multiple occasions.
You know i wonder, is Nightmare going to keep referring to Twilight as her pet or might she find a better title for her? While I guess consort would fit, I don't think either would like to apply that title just yet. Hoofmaiden perhaps, or something along the line of favored subject?
109580 ah, I see you picked up the mad scientist bit. maybe at this point he no longer considers himself a soldier? hmm
also: apparently, she has used her name. mayhaps some other title will come along soon?
True She did use her name once, though for the moment she has only spoke her name once as of yet so I'm not sure as to where twilight stands with Nightmare as of yet. Though she did acknowledge that Twilight has both proven her loyalty and has potentail to be a great companion down the line.
Hmm, well if he could convince Knightmare about the use of his skills as a chemist are more important then having yet another body on the battlefield he may jave saved his life.Knightmare is any things but stupid isn't one of them, that goes double for this version as she was able to throw off the EoH and aquire two truely valuble allies in one night. She was also able to spot a talented geniral she saw one so if given the chance I can see her egerly making use of a chemist with a talent for explosives.
109323 Thanks Gwenio , I guess I gotta re-read the whole story again and find out when that happened, I feel a bit of a dunce . Was thinking greenhouses since I recently re-read Ponydom vs Ponysty where all the agriculture seems to be done that way.
Also because that dream of Twilights sort of threw me for a loop Apple Family Cannibalism can do that
Did anyone of you guy and gals ever wish you could get your brian to just shut up and leave you alone? Well I do at the moment because my mind has latched onto a detail about this fic out of the blue today and knowing me it won't shutup untill i write about it, so because I have to suffer you're all going to suffer with me sorry all but I'm hoping if someone pokes enough holes in this the trian of thought will bugger off.
Okay here we go incomming illogical BS in Three,Two, One!
Nighmare Moon is once more in the process of recrutting for her army. This is understandible as it's very much a needed resource not just for her but also for the protection of those she rules over. However there are a few sticking points that I can see that need addressing.
Right off the bat we have the issue of the assult on her castil. said asult had no real survivers on either side, Nightmare, Moon Beam, and Cloudy are pretty much the entirty of her forces at this point Granted troops from both sides are noted as having fled but the defects from Nightmare's army are in hiding if still alive as are the remnets of the Royal guard. So say maybe Twentyfive to fifity fread from both factions this means that the total death cout is still at roughly 9,000 it just we have more in the MIA colum then befor.
The next two issues are more carryovers from the show itself that just happen to be something of a problem for the fic because said fic is going more indepth with worldbuilding then the show is.
Issue two deals with both the population of Equestria and the size and distrobution of said population. From what I can recall of the show itself Equestria really only has a handfull of settlements yet we don't get any kind of scale for thier population density. The settlements I can think of include the following Ponyvil, Canterlot, Trottingham, Hoofington, Appleloosa, Manehatten, and Cloudsdale. Of those Only Canterlot, Manehatten, and Cloudsdale seem to be on the larger side that group includes the capital, New York City with the numbers filed off, and apprently the hub for the majority of the pegisie. Trottingham and Hoofington are only referred to by name with one being brought up only by a known braggert who may have been lying to put on a show. Appleloosa is a fronteer town that is implied to be very new so we can assume it's relitivly small and Ponyvil is sown to be a fairly small yet growing town. The issue is we don't know how many ponies really live in any of these local or even if one of said towns is real or not and considdering that roughly 9,000 citisions of this nation just bit the dust and the ruler needs to raise an entirly new army for the defence of her nation this is a very major issue.
Finaly we come to another thorn in the side the economy. How strong is the economic situation of Equestria? While resources don't seem to be a problem and might be very abundent that won't do them any good if they don't have the workers to make the products they need. There is also issue of how thier economy functions with the whol cutie mark system in place. I mean what role exactly does Pokey fill, if I recall right his talent is being able to poke things with his horn so unless he fills some kind of niech I can't think of him as really being of much use. Dimond tiria and Silver Spoon don't seem to be set for the workfoce either though I don't know what thier talents are so I may be wrong there. So what I guess I'm trying to say is I don't think that the cutie mark system really helps the economic stability of the nation much.
Though as bad as those last to points are the real issue at hand is that really, Nightmare's clame to rule is still rather shakey as not only did she have multiple attempts on her life, a spy in her inner circle, and just bairly get out of a rather nasty attack upon her new capital she also has to deal with external thrat as well. I don't know for sure but I'd bet the dragon's arn't happy with her, the griffions may try to strike while the iron is hot and we don't even know who all else may deside to take a bite of horsefleash at the moment either much less who might work with her for whatever reason. Then you have the added supernatural threats like discord, and the Windegoes to boot.
Okay I'm done spewing half baked thoeries for the moment so please poke holes in this so my brian will shut up. Heh the sad thing here is i think I might have some legitiment points but given that I'm horrid at math, and know jack all about economics it's all shot in the foot by how uneducated I am in the areas that are niggling at me.
109679 Not exactly a chemist, just using the pretty lights for a more... destructive purpose.
Penultimate one here, last set in the journals, anyway. should have the last one up in a few hours or so.
~Excerpt from the journal of a soldier in Nightmare Moons army~
I was placed in a special squadron of pegasi under the command of the BLESSED commander herself! the extra training is a drain, I've completely given up sleep at this point, devoting all time to THE INSTRUMENTS OF TERROR refining the formula...
-
(entire page is covered in a visibly thick layer of soot, and is filled almost entirely with a single formula. However, there is something scribbled in at the bottom)
It appears to be stronger than expected! Capable of tearing through metal and still causing considerable damage!
-
no No NO NONONO!!! the PUPPET SLAVES soldiers of THE WHORE Celestia are already here! I haven't been able to create the explosive! A CURSE UPON THEM AND THEIR FAMILIES I must leave now, we're supposed to be protecting THE DARK ONE the Queens weapon....
Hmm this little mini fic of yours has turned out nicely. I'm guessing that by the Dark one he means Moon Beam, kinda makes me wonder what he has to say about Twilight. Ah well reguardless the last installment should be rather fun to read. Also I'm so glad I typed up that stupid theory of mine, damn thing left me alone finaly.
Getting back to the fic at hand I'd almost bet that we'll see just how Spike is handling things next chapter, amung other juicey bit of plot (narritive not pony) goodness.
111767 actually, anything in bold relates directly to the word to the right, the dark one being the queen, in this case.
Ah my mistake though the dark one is a fitting title for either Moon Beam or Nightmare.
111767 Or maybe both plots? Two kinds of juicy plot is always nice. In reference to your previous wall, Nightmare Knows how she's going to solve any financial problems like that. The growing of the army will be settled as well. I'd also like to say how I think the populations in Equestria are in my perspective. Canterlot has a ton of ponies, but most of them are of the 'high society'. They have middle class ponies as well, but they are mostly just shopkeepers and such. Manehattan and Cloudsdale are the largest cities in Equestria, Cloudsdale falling just under Manehattan due to its almost strict pegasus population. Manehattan is industrial/business focused and thus is by far the most populated due to the large amounts of ponies needed to run such places. Cloudsdale is home of the weather factory and many flight related schools/the pegasus guard training school so a majority of pegasi work there with the occasional help of unicorns that know the cloudwalker spell. I'd estimate Manehattan to be about as populated as our New York, Cloudsdale somewhere along the lines of Los Angeles, and Canterlot having close to Chicago. Then we also have the fanon Fillydelphia which I would equate to its real life counterpart. The towns like Ponyville and such would be like the smaller towns such as maybe Pigeon Forge/Sevierville in Tennessee (its pretty lightly populated if you don't know the area) Appleloosa would definitely be a small town, I'm guessing just a few hundred to a thousand at the most. The issue of population as far as I see it isn't a problem, it's the unwillingness to fight and support Nightmare Moon where the issue lies.
As far as the Cutie Mark system goes, I'd like to think that the ponies whose cutie marks don't benefit society take up jobs as assistants in several places. Maybe office workers or waiters or assembly workers. Stuff like that. If their jobs were based solely on their cutie marks then any society would fall to pieces due to the ponies like jet set and upper crust who are seemingly only there to be rich. This idea makes it possible for anypony who doesn't have a talent like that to work and have money regardless of what they were born to do.
Finally, the issue of Nightmare's enemies. She doesn't have to worry about the royal guard anymore. They were almost entirely eradicated, the only survivors being those that fled (and those would only be the ones that wouldn't come back as they were new recruits.) Her borders are going to be her mane problem. She lost her entire army in that one night and, like you said, ticked off the dragons after killing twenty of them without much of a problem. The griffons were already on tense terms even with Celestia (the Cloudy incident is a telling factor there) so that adds to any concerns she may have as well.
Think that about covers it.
One question: will Twilight's parents make an appearance in the story?
Yup, you made short work of my ramblings and I thank you for that. I may not know how exactly lightly populated Pigeon Forge/Sevierville is but I'm betting I could get a feel for it I'm a born and bred Wyomingite i.e. the state that nobody knows about, I know of towns that max out at 14 in the summer monthes and my home town, a county seat still doesn't break the 6K mark. If we're taking Fanon into account then there is also Stalliongrad to be had as well witch would also be something of a industrail town as well and hey why not Toss in Hoofington as well, it probly is a real twon in the show but well it can be hard to weed out the truth from Trixie's bragging.
Yeah your idea for how to work around the cutie mark issue seems to work though I still can't think of what if anything the like of Jet Set and Upper Crust controbute to the betterment of the nation. Though I guess someone need to buy all the products that everyone else makes kinda how the system works really.
It's good to know that she has some kind of an economic plan in mind because really with all the construction she's been doing the royal coffers have got to have taken a rather large hit. Though I'm betting when tax season rolls around Applejack will be in for a nasty surprize. Heh speaking of that I wonder if there's a tax for attempted murder of the monarch, and attempted kiddnapping of said monarch's royal er, for lack of a better term, companion?
Hmm well it's intresting to know that for the forseeible futore the Royal Guard is out of the picture though i doubt that nightmare is entirely in the clear from that kind of internal threat. The boarders are going to be a real sticking point though as there are currently two hostile nations who pose a very real threat and no word as to if Equestria had any allied nations or colonies/ portectorets that might lend support who may or may not have turned on them. There is still the possiblity of supernaturel threats like Discord and the Windigoes who I'm quite shocked haven't come out to play yet.
On a lighter more fun note, I bet the press is going nuts trying to keep up with everything that's been going on as of late. Everlasting night, Celestia vanishing, The building of Castil Obsidion, the Royal Guard assult, on and this just in Nightmare Moon reopens her court and who's that standing by her side? None other then Twilight Sparkle Celestia's star pupil, yup Twi your new name is mud have fun being the media's scapegoat/ whipping mare though if it makes you feel any better harry Potter knows your pain.
Gah Peppy don't tease us with that kind of stuff! Between Nightmare annd Twilight that's just plain not fair! Also how are you feeling get over the creeping crud yet?
Well I just spent a few hours re-reading the entire story and can't believe the number of little things I missed or forgot .
I'm still facepalming (facehoofing?) myself over the damn photosynthesis, then again it was only briefly mentioned but then it showed up again in a later chapter.
Re-reading the story I can really appreciate Silent Brook's speciality in Espionage. She knows how ponies think, worms her way into their trust, hides her true emotions well and has a devotion to Celestia that was second only to Twilight whom she's pretty much pushed into Nightmare Moon's clutches FOREVER .
Also after re-reading I realized Nightmare Moon has plans to conquer all of Equestria, of course now she needs her new Army. Lastly I have enjoyed the evolving relationship between Nightmare Moon and Twilight, I can only hope things get better for Twilight who has suffered continual hardship the two months this story is set over.
So please continue to write this fantastic Story Peppy, I eagerly look forward to the future chapters.
112059 Honestly, I don't know. If you guys really want me to put them in there then I will. I wasn't exactly planning on it in this so I'll leave it up to you guys. If I have enough people tell me to add some scenes with them then I'll work it into the story.
112104 Not quite sure what you mean by tease us with that stuff. Elaborate if you would.
112214 Yes. She wants the entirety of the world, but that would be a long time in the making seeing as she's been having troubles within her borders. And thank you! Also I'll be fixing the stuff you messaged like I said in the message back.
Spoiler alert:
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On a side note: I hope none of you particularly like Blueblood. I hate his guts (other than the askblueblood tumblr) so if you're on the same boat as me there then you'll probably enjoy the upcoming chapter a little bit.
112305 Huzzay spoilers! my life is now complete.
Speaking of which, I do believe there is a story I need to finish here:
(NOT an excerpt!)
The silver pegasus woke with the end of true night, and adjusted himself slightly against the tree. He had gotten used to the pricks of pain from his wings that came with doing this, but still twitched uncomfortably at the sensation. He sighed, and thought about how long he had been there. It had been a few nights, at least; they probably would have given up on searching for survivors, if they were looking at all.
He looked over at the nearby crater, and smelled the now growing sickly sweet smell of rotting flesh. If hunger didn't kill him, that damn smell sure would. But he couldn't help but to smile; he'd finally done something for his beloved, Commander Cloudy. She'd been on his mind since the first time he laid eyes on her, and after the death of his family, he couldn't stop thinking of the black pegasus.
Still smiling, he began to relax against the tree, and looked up to the stars. It was a beautiful morning, even if he was earthbound, and his hind legs were completely dead. This too had worried him at first, they didn't hurt, but they didn't do anything else, either. Resigned to his fate, he closed his eyes and waited for the end to come.
But the dark thing within him would not be still. AWAKEN, YOU ARE NOT DONE HERE. He shifted slightly, but didn't move any more than that. IF YOU DIE NOW, YOU WILL HAVE FAILED YOUR QUEEN! This was true, he thought. The urge to live flowed into him, but it was weak, an he could already feel the effects wearing off. SO WEAK.
Awaken, for you are not finished here. a new voice piped up. This one was softer then the dark voice, but they seemed... similar. Just as he thought it was a ploy from the dark thing to keep him alive, it spoke again: If you die, you will have failed the commander.
This truly struck home within him. He couldn't die now! He still had to report to her, to show he hadn't deserted her!
And so, he slumped himself forward, twitching as pain wracked his spine from the base of his wings. After the pain abated, he put out one hoof, and pulled himself towards the crater, and was soon beside it. He looked in it, at the pegasus with the crushed skull, and the dried blood that was all inside it, and smiled again. It gave him all the resolve he needed to continue.
With both voices egging him on, Pyretread dragged himself towards the castle.
~
His fate is in your hands now, Peppy! He's been named, so its on you if he dies!
I'm ADHD, so caffeine makes me sleepy.
Mix some cough syrup in my coffee, and, well... Woooooooooooo!
*Ahem* Yeah... I don't like getting drunk. Too much of a lightweight as people call it.
Anyways, loved this chapter! It's truly, truly, heart wrenching, and I would like to see Rarity get some form of notification to help with the clarification of her friend's indignation, in a way to help with the mitigation of the deflation of her elation and the deterioration of her inclination of infatuation and obligation towards her friend. Who was a total bitch. Rarity must learn this, and fast.
"made by an earth pony named Apple Jack." - Applejack shall never be amused! NEVER!
"They soon arrived at the outskirts of Ponyville where a large farm with hundreds of apple trees dotting the landscape." -
"The streamer and ribbons that had been hung about the room" - Did you mean intestines? ... Okay, sorry, that wasn't funny. Did you mean streamers?
"That's quite all right, Darling." - Random capital letter!
108266 109543 111455 112926
112302 YES! TWILIGHT'S PARENTS!
112305 I was actually thinking of asking you if Blueblood is gonna get pwnt...
... A'ight, I need a break at this point. I'll bbl. (It's a GREAT read so far, thanks! /] )
Grammar nazi mode on.
"They reached the door to the town hall must faster than she had hoped"
I think you meant 'much faster'.
"spill the bean"
I'm not entirely sure, but I think it should be 'beans' here.
"When we got inside, we met a filly, somewhere around my sister's age, in the castle named Moon Beam"
From the above sentence it seems to me that the castle is named 'Moon Beam'. I propose to change it like this: "When we got inside the castle, we met a filly, somewhere around my sister's age, named Moon Beam"
Whip your editor in my name.
Damn this story. It shall drive me to insomnia.
Now I think I shall start a Moonlight story and break my fanfiction virginity. All because of you! Why must your story be so good?
You smart little dawg you. I at first thought you got twilight's intentions about making friend wrong. But when I read the line "everything morphed" I realized that you were intending on me thinking that.
you are a great writer and if you don't mind I will be stealing that idea so thank you
I was completely wrong. You arn't a smart dawg you are a FUCKING GOD!!!
not only have you tricked me on your intentions you gave us a look at how the gut wrenching amount of guilt from killing silent brook and abandoning her friends. Is doing to twilight mentality with the dream.
Thank you just thank you
Coffee me up bud!!!!!
This is definitely a story worth reading!
I hope Twilight stays with Nightmare. Honestly, if the Ponyville ponies try to "save" her again, I say off with their heads!
2704334 well shit dude. What about Spike? That dragon was like a brother, maybe even more like a son to Twilight. But hey, who knows what will happen, still much too early in the story to know what happens. For all I know Spike may very well storm the castle to look for Twilight.
2706050 Maybe Spike can join Nightmare and Twilight and be like, supreme dragonlord protector of the castle or something.
Or off with his head. Ain't no room for the weak!