Nightmare Moon survives the Elements' power and takes Twilight as her prisoner. Now, the alicorn queen must establish her monarchy and defend her rightful place as queen against those that oppose her.
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You are gona have the elements sneak inside the catsel try to liberate twilight only to have twilight dobb them in due to her loyalty to NMM
maybe......
Queen Moon will be looking for a dress maker? And the Elements need to get to Twilight? Hmm...
64586 Well, Twilight isn't 'loyal' to Nightmare Moon yet. She is still very much the part of pet and slave.
64595 Haha yeah. That is quite obvious. I didn't actually think about it thought until i had written the dress part. Then it just hit me like a brick off a skyscraper.
Racy clop-filled fun-time sounds good to me.
.........
...what? Ooooh, right. Good chapter too. Looking forward to more, etc., etc.
64608 We'll see my friend. I don't want to make this one mature so if I do add anything it'll be light detail. If I DO make a full clop sub chapter I'll post it somewhere else and link it.
64602Okay maybe not loyalty through respect but loyalty through fear and mind games?
Soooooo Twilight is a sex slave....? What the heck!
Clopfic time , me gusta.
And with all description of gory death is already a mature rating i would say (the 4 servants having their skin burned, organs thrown while still alive come to mind)
On the other hand,come on, Twilight cant just give up on Celestia like that, at least she should think that if they were equally powerful NMM couldnt kill Celestia, especially being weakened on the day of her release.
I still dont have the slightest clue how NMM could defeat celestia ,unless she gave up willingly.
'racy cloppy filled fun time'?
I think yes!
64684 Ah yeah. I guess you could call that loyalty
64833 I dunno. I've seen lotsa stuff with worse than that labeled pg-13 but idk. As far as Celestia is concerned, think of it this way. Nightmare Moon has scared her into submission. She no longer WANTS to do anything on her own for fear of retribution.
64773 It's quite common for slaves to be used for.... fun stuff
Wow. Did NOT expect so many 'OH YEAH CLOP SIDE STORIES' I guess I could do that sometime in the near future.
64955
+1 to that, a story is a story, if i want just something with no story or character (seeing some personality,emotions in the characters) ill go watch porn.
64948
And yeah ,killing is good but sex is bad, i love that way of thinking ...NOT
But Nightmare Moon is a mare and Twilight is a filly, they be females. Nightmare Moon will be accused of being a fillyfooler On other less pleasant news, I bet Nightmare Moon will probably get either Applejack or Dash in a tight situation and I bet they won`t be too happy when they see a leashed Twilight licking Moon`s high heeled horseshoes. "It´s kinda funny cause she actually has high heeled horseshoes, in/on the show."
I do wonder why Nightmare Moon went all the trouble to have a small library within her "private" chambers, since she`s such an eager bookworm. A great pretender, that I got to tale and Twilight has yet to realize the little details. I mean, It´s not like she`s going to say..."I kinda like you, so I´ve brought some books for you to be entertained."
64988
The "side story" (Chappter 20.5 if i remember ) was written by someone else,but KKat approved. ^^
When Twilight sees her friends she will probably regain some courage to stand up for herself, i could see her licking Celestias behind on free will (without fear of being stomped to death) , i just hope that if the clopfic is made it will involve the incident with Twilights horn and NMM's behind
64948 Fun stuff????!?!?!?!?! Thats humiliating.....especially when its twilight and i can see where this story is going,,,,,
65079
Thats the point, NMM is a sadistic bastard,she only cares about her own pleasure and she had no problem beating Twilight half dead and just leaving her there when she "misplaced her horn" while pleasuring NMM (and we saw how she does it, thats why i think it went somewhere where its not supposed to )
Am I rigt in guessing that Brook is Rarity's contact?
Heh I love how Nightmare thinks to her self 'I don't have feelings for her but I get thrills from kissing her,' then not seconds after finishing said kiss basicly says through her actions 'make me scream damn you! I've been looking forward to this scince we got out of the carrige.'
Also I'm getting the feeling that she's going to end up with an incredibly hollow mountain range if her taste in building materals keeps up, though really that could be quite usefull hollowed out mountains would be a clever place to hide some military bases and the like.
64982
Actually I would say Twilight is a mare rather than a filly because she and her friends are clearly considered old enough to move out and live on their own.
64833
Its Celestia's sister, she likely does not want to hurt her. And without the Elements she may not have much choice if it comes to a fight.
Not to sound like a perv, but a YES!!! to the racy clop story. There's just not enough NMM stuff of that nature...I just realized how pervy that still sounded. But, whatever, I'm still posting this.
65016>>64988 They really need to put a "Princess Moletia" emoticon in the list.
64955 I don't know any authors on a personal enough level to commission anything. I mean I COULD try and ask Butterscotch if she'll do it but I really don't know her. I would also prefer to write it myself. As far as inserting said clop portions into the story, they'd be very few until the full 'blossoming' love between Twi and Nightmare. If they DO get added, then THAT will be a major one. Also LOL GOOFY
64971 I know how ya feel about the killing/sex thing. I would just fill it with whatever tha fook I wanted and be done with it but I do like to appeal to a broader range of people. A lot of people are less disturbed by death and the like than ponies doin the nasty. I haven't really gotten any 'No's per se against adding the racy stuff in there just as part of the chapters. I myself am a *cough*giant fan*cough* of clopfics, but as I said not everypony is.
64982 I too see Twilight and co. as mares due to their considerable age difference to the fillies in the show (i.e. The CMC). Nightmare Moon might not have shown it, but she DOES read books. She's been on the moon for a millenium. She only learned the basic geography of Equestria from Twi and Brook. She still has a lot to learn of Equestrian History. I won't, however, deny or agree with what you said. You'll just have to see.
65079 Exactly as Whooves said. Nightmare Moon is a seriously self centered sadistic mare. She went through the halls in the sun palace kicking anypony that got too close to her. And laughed. She's holding Twilight as her slave/pet. She could probably do much worse than just forcing her to 'work her horn' so to say.
65132 And yes. That's exactly how Twilight thinks. It will become more evident later in the story. Let's say about another chapter or two. Ish.
65140 I strongly agree. I haven't read but like maybe one or two NMM clopfics. I dislike the humanized stuff cause it just doesn't set the story right. I don't even know if there ARE any humanized NMM fics out there
65719
I was refering to Celestia not stopping Nightmare herself, but that too. Queen Moon being Celestia's younger sister greatly complicates dealing with her.
I had wondered when and if Twilight would make it clear she knows the Queen is Celestia's sister (say to explain her actions to others) which is hinted at in this chapter ("Her eating habits were the only thing that she had carried over from her previous life as a princess as far as she could tell.").
65774 Ohhhhhhhh. Yeah that as well. Celestia definitely wouldn't hurt her sister. She only used the Elements as a last resort in the show as far as we're told (and that's what I have in the story). Twilight'll mention it tho. Pretty soon actually.
Ah I love shows like this that get's pople bouncing ideas around. Final Fantasy VI, Naruto, Harry Potter, Marvel comics, Outlaw Star, Samuria Jack, and FiM.
I wonder, does Nightmare Moon feel regrett about anything? She intends to revive a faithfull follower, and is willing to reward loalty. Though she enjoys being at the top of tower o power I don't know if that can last one can only enjoy making thier puppets dance for so long.
Also Peppy if they arn't too spoiler laiden would you mind answer two questions?
1 Are there going to be more attempts at Nightmare or twilight's life?
2 How much trust does Nightmare have for Twilight?
the last one comes to mind because if I'm recalling right twilight stopped two or three attempts on Nightmare's life yet she still seems to be treated as little more then a stress ball.
68369 Yes. There will be more attempts on both of their lives. More Nightmare Moon though. Ponies are less willing to kill the innocent. I'll say that most of the attacks on Twilight will be after she... devotes herself more fully to NMM. It's not a lot of trust. She still keeps Twilight shackled at night while they sleep and only leaves her alone when she has duties to attend to. The way Nightmare sees the defense of her life is as a slave doing as she's supposed to. Does this help answer anything?
Yes it does, I figured that there would be more attempts on Nightmare but Twilight I wasn't sure about. I could definetly understand that the majority of ponies would wish to leave her be in part because untill she fully commits to Nightmare she's just as much if not more a victem then the staff are. Then you have the fact that Twilight is probibly semi well know to most of the castle staff given her former position, though as we saw recently that wasn't enought protection to stay the hooves of four ponies.
You know I can see Twilight becoming public enemy number two with ease after she devotes herself to Nightmare Moon. It would be a horrible blow to the moral of any resistence groupe to find out that the prized Student of Princess Celestia had been "corrupted" by Queen Moon and would thusly net quite a few attempts on her life.
As for the issue of trust I was wondering because I'm trying to get a clearer picture of what nightmare wants from Twilight at the moment. Is she just a prize, a toy to be played with, or is she just a usefull resopitory of information?
68573 It's a little bit of both. Nightmare Moon, as you can tell by how she refers to Twilight, still finds her as a pet. A living creature under her command that can be done with as she pleases. She is using Twilight to sate her needs. She also sees Twilight's vast knowledge and draws on that when needed. (the whole learning of the geography thing not shown 'on-screen' as one such example) The mane reason Nightmare Moon keeps Twilight around, though, is as a trophy. However, as this story is meant to be a romance, that will change.
I see, that makes sense. I hope I'm not making a pest of myself here but sometimes I just let the questions flow ya know? Also nice new picture where did you find it?
68659 Thank ye. I figured it'd fit the story a bit more than the previous one. I found it on e621.net a couple days ago. The artist's name is Iram. It fit the story description to a T. I was quite excited when I saw it.
What The F****!!!! uh... I mean... WTF!!! Well I dnt have much to say and really need to find out whatsagoinon so peace ponyboy!
After reading up to chapter five, there's only one problem I've found. Pinkie Pie's droopy hair mode is overused far too often in fanfics. In this situation, I strongly believe it is entirely inappropriate. People often underestimate just how tough Pinkie Pie is. She wouldn't lose all her joy over just one friend going missing. Sure, she'd be worried, but she knows there's still hope, even after all this time. She may not be quite as excited as usual, but she'd do her best to keep the others' spirits up. She'd feel it was her duty to do so.
Cloppy side story.
Now.
The descriptions of the castle were magnificent. The dialogue was very well done and the mention of Nightmare Moon's right hoof makes me highly anticipate her return.
"I'll help spike." - Dat uncapitalized name a.deviantart.net/avatars/d/a/datplotplz.png
"The entire structure was made of obsidian" - That must have taken a long time. Probably used way too many diamond pickaxes, too
Commenter's Note: The editor used the wrong to/too/two in his/her "Editor's Notes" section
Sex slave? Gee, how original... XD j/k It was fairly obvious, especially with the whole 'why Twilight was alone when she was almost killed for not pleasing her properly' bit. Anyhoof, the only thing I'm going to regret is having to stop in an hour to go to sleep so I can go to Church in the morning! xD
"it's sleek features" its
And in the editor's notes, of all things, "too" should be "to".
hey you kno who i am i play cod with you and this is good in a "peppy" sence of things .... p.s. you should play hardcore tdm w/me
No offense, but I like everything but the romantic and cloppy parts. The rest is good though.
This only just now occurred to me since I've been enjoying the story so much--- but where the buck is Celestia? She just left? I think it only got mentioned for a sentence or two.
...and already Twilight has some nice healthy Stockholme syndrome.
images1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20110221141347/cnc/images/c/c6/Obelisk.jpg
gamesprays.com/files/resource_media/preview/mother-of-celestia-6281_preview.png
Good luck sneaking in...
2390834
first off, you are win for making that reference, nopony is allowed to argue
IS THAT CLEAR!!!!????
Second, i like Nightmare moon more than Celestia. Why? because they are both tyrants, yet Nightmare Moon does nothing to hide it.
i fucking knew it Twilight is Nightmare Moon bitch
I find it hard to believe that it's been over a month and not a single neighboring country appears to have taken issue with any of this. Wouldn't they, like, have invaded by now or something?
Other then that, I really am enjoying it so far. I love 'NNM Wins' fics and this is certainly a good one. Only complaint is that Twilight is a bit out of character, but you know what? It's the authors choice anyway.
Who here noticed that the editor`s notes had a typo in it???
wow just wow the unicorn blushed and preformed her duties just wow that was horrible