Nightmare Moon survives the Elements' power and takes Twilight as her prisoner. Now, the alicorn queen must establish her monarchy and defend her rightful place as queen against those that oppose her.
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My reaction to new chapter.....also can not wait for the walls of text that will follow, those things are all most as fun to read as the fix it's self
137396 I know! I quite enjoy reading them. Janus probably wont answer till after I go to bed though.
Twi's parents took that a lot better than I would have expected. Interesting to see Gilda join the Lunar Army, I can't imagine that will go over well with RD.
The part about Twilight's library is a little odd, as Pinkie says it's in the town twice in a single sentence, but other than that a quick second read-through didn't leave nything else to note. Another great chapter, looking forward to seeing where the story's threads all wind up.
137404 As far as Twi's parents go, I like to see them as the supportive type. Also playful as you can tell. While they don't like that she was hurt, they know WHY she did it. They're understanding and such. I'll go fix that up. I left off there when I went to work and probably just put in again by mistake. EDIT: The not far from center is talking about the Town Hall
YES!, GILDA joins the Lunar Army. I knew if I kept pestering you'd do it peppy . Time for a victory dance...
img.ponibooru.org/_images/180399c89f918adfa034acd94b5c4d04/85850%20-%20animated%20dancing%20Everyday_I'm_studyin'%20shuffling%20twilight_sparkle.gif
Time for a Wall-O-Text
Nice to See Twilight's parents taking the changes to their Daughter in stride and not imposing on Twilight or Nightmare Moon for financial support. They were portrayed well, Moon Beam was cute as always. And NMM acted like the Queen she professes to be, and was blunt and straightforward when she needed to be.
Anyway Great chapter Peppy, I see you've included mention of Green Ink from the newspaper article comments. From the comments into the main story, very nice. And as I said before, you included Gilda much to my joy and surprise. And you gave her a good reason to join up, Gilda a Priestess? so not cool, she is her own bird. I got that impression from the show, and I feel you portrayed her well. Even if she only had a short appearance.
Nice to see Cloudy recruiting from Ponyville now too. I figured you would do something big with that opportunity and you didn't disappoint. Now the next chapters are going to be even more interesting, plenty of side plot opportunities, Gilda fitting into an army where she's the only Griffin. I see potential in Cloudy taking her on as an apprentice or sparring partner. We could also have the elements needing to break up, Applejack and Rarity staying back to look after their respective siblings and run their businesses.
Rarity could still go off to war, but I don't think she could bring herself to serve under anyone that killed her friends. Especially Brook. How about Rarity's Father or Mother off to war though, there's some conflict, they'd be serving in the army to protect Rarity and Sweetie Belle. So we probably have Timid Fluttershy, Bold Rainbow Dash and Party crazy Pinkie Pie off to war, unless Fluttershy was allowed to stay off the front lines as a medic (She does treat sick animals all the time) or as Spike's guardian.
I see many opportunities in later chapters for Rainbow Dash to become The Shadowbolt, Like Equestrias Red Baron, a flying ace whose presence is feared on the Battlefield. Leading squads of Pegasi and becoming a changed person, due to her experiences on the battlefield. Gilda and Dash as Equestria's top flying aces would be really great, maybe the original Wonderbolts too, being a celebrity is no excuse to shirk your duty to Queen and Country after all?
Also is Zecora a Ponyville citizen? or merely a Zebra hermit? That would be something that could be explored in the later chapters. As she finds a more deserted Ponyville a more welcoming place since the Ponies are more scared of Griffons and the Lunar Army than a Zebra Hermit wearing a cloak. She could also be recruited but I think it would be more interesting if she wasn't initially, she does live pretty far from anyone, Fluttershy is probably her closest neighbour.
Also Gilda's description as being part of a clan gives us some insight to Griffon's way of life. Various clans united under a King, which means their is opportunities for Queen Moon to turn some of the Griffon's against one another. I doubt Gilda is the only Griffon who wants to do things differently, I can see Nightmare Moon gathering such exiles to her cause, but I guess I'll have to wait and see .
This Wall-O-Text brought to you by Tonto
That was a really sweet chapter ;)
I didn't expect Twilight's parents to stay so calm when they heard that Nightmare uses their daughter as fuck toy, but since it was wrapped up nicely as 'being her consort' they took it a lot better xD
137512 There will be more Gilda. She is important. The rest is great speculation, but not much that I can comment on. The griffons, as I see them, are a kind of a [insert word I can't think of right now here]. They have several different tribes like tribes of hunters, gatherers, and stuff like that, but are all join under the master tribe and their Chieftain. Gilda is, as I would prefer, daughter of the main tribe's war chief. She was very important and so they were going to make her a priestess, one of the highest honors a female griffon could receive.
137541 Twilight can levitate herself. Does that count? Well, she can't right now, but she usually can. Like when she teleported in front of Nightmare to stop that griffon.
137522 Nightmare Moon may be a Queen and pretty much allowed to say what she wishes, but she knows how much Twilight's parents mean to her and wouldn't do anything to harm the mare that saved her life. Also, I just couldn't have Twi's parents being uptight. I wanted to make them more 'down to earth' so I did. I can't stand the overprotective parents so that factored into my decision on how to portray them as well.
137566 Lol she won't be getting permanent wings. Ain't making her an alicorn, but she still hasn't undergone all her changes yet. If anything she CAN do some temporary spells like the cloud walker and gossamer wings stuff, but nothing lasting.
I am now going to bed. Any comments after this will be read and replied to when I wake up.
On a side note, I love being to edit comments now. It is so much win.
Hurrah! Another great chapter, and this one isn't a cliff hanger!
137614 Oh Clonetrooper you're so old school. Ghost wings? How about Wings of Fire? All the cool Ponies are doing that. Actually now I think on it, an enchanted suit of Armour for cloudy could allow her to fly by creating a Ghost wing. Cloudy Horizon the Ghost Wing/Phantom Menace of Nightmare Moon .
137543 So kinda like a Caste system? Like the Dwarves of Orzammar in Dragon Age? Each Clan fulfils a function with the strongest clan ruling over the rest? Also Gilda being a Priestess but Gilda rejecting that has some powerful potential in this story, Whether you know it or not Peppy you are a mad genius fc07.deviantart.net/fs51/f/2009/328/a/1/Awesome_face_avatar_by_1zomg_a_peanut1.gif .
Also Peppy, I agree with your characterization of Twilight's parents, they seemed to be a pretty relaxed couple that wants what's best for their daughter. Hence they got her into Celestia's School for gifted Unicorns, because Twilight wanted to study magic and the school for gifted unicorns was the best place for it.
And one other thing you sly dog Peppy, you revealed Canterlot is still populated, granted I suspected it was but I didn't know for certain until now. I assumed it would be abandoned but where would all those Ponies go anyway's? Cloudsdale would only be an option for Pegasi, Fillydelphia? Manehatten? Stalliongrad? They all seem to be a fair bit away from each other and Canterlot. And their are villages and townships dotted in-between that couldn't handle so many people living in the countryside. Plus an exodus of several thousands/100,000's of Ponies would take a lot longer and would've been brought up by Fancy Pants at some point, so it's nice to know part of the reason Canterlot still stands. No point in burning loyal subjects homex and businesses when they haven't had a chance to move to the new capital yet.
Do Knights and Knight orders exist in Equestria? I definitely imagine if Nightmare Moon had a personal Queen's Guard they would all be Knights of some kind. Of course Peppy would give them all colourful backgrounds of some sort. But alas I must content myself with speculation.
It was awesum!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now all u need to do is get ur flank in gear and keep writing so ur lil ponysis here can read more. I think everypony, both Stallion, mare, and filly (I bet even dragons and gryphons), agree with me here. so yea get ur flank movin!
so... who agrees wit me?
.. Then comes and Says "Gotcha" Twilights like Urrgggg,,,
Wow, great to see side characters appearing as the chapters progressing. Perhaps we might see CMC, Big Mac, etc?
Also,'slave'→'companion'. Nice to see how NMM also changes as well as Twilight in terms of their relationship.
Hmm favorite pony porn artist?
slugbox or alpaca come to mind?
137805 Maybe, but I'd rather see you finish Pony Scrolls: Equestria. Still Robo-cop and Ponies... yeah that could work actually. I mean there is a Terminator vs Robo-Cop comic so why not a Robo-cop pony crossover, I think someone's already doing a Six Million Bit Pony a.k.a Six million dollar crossover.
Actually what would count as a crime in the Lunar army? Desertion is a given and killing a fellow soldier too but would Nightmare Moon consider her troops looting conquered cities as criminal activity?
Whoo Update nice! Also thanks for mentioning Green Ink though I wonder how I can justify him using diffrent names for Twilight's parents though? Meh it's not that big a deal I don't think he's a tabloid reporter they're not ment to be the best when it comes to accurecy or integrity.
Did I hear someone order a wall of text? Well i wouldn't be a very good nerd if i couldn't ramble endlessly about something that's sparked my fance now would I?
Wall-O-Text
You know when I read the bit about Gilda being a priestess my thoughts turned to one of my favorite RPGs. "Lunar Silver Star Story Complete" One of your party membores is jessica a girl who was pushed into the priestess role by her father a great hero of the land. jessica was hot headed, loyal, and scarly strong in physical combat she was also damn fast and a kickass healer. I mention all this because well if Gilda didn't sneak off and join the Lunar army i can see her being very similar to Jesscia as a priestess. Also as Tonto has pointed out befor in the past this should proove to really shake up the dynamic between Dash and Gilda. Also I wonder how the Queen and Twilight will react to meeting Gilda? I'm not really sure but I wouldn't be surprized to find out that Gilda would respect twilight some for taking a blade like that, if that doesn't count as "Cool" in her book I don't know what does.
Now onto some more fun stuff, I loved how bright and cheery Pinkie is a first when Cloudy shows up, then right when she finds out who she is BAM instant 180! Pinkie can turn her mood on a dime it seems. I also liked how she waited to vent her anger till after Cloudy left. it's not that I don't like pinkie but well she tends to wear her heart on her sleeve and doesn't always seem to grasp how seirous a situation is at times. I mean we're talking about the pony who called Nightmare moon "Black Snooty" because she thought the harginger of eternal night was playing a guessing game with her. Still I'm betting first chance she gets Pinkie is going to mention who came to town today to the others.
The mayor brings up some good points about Ponyvill. it is a very small town and is probibly only just self sufficent if it even is such. I would be outright baffled to hear said town having a population of greater then 500 I truely would. Hmm who will be called into service here? Small town or no the Queen want bodies in the armed forces and ponyvill WILL provide it's fair share or encure her wrath. I can see one of the Apples, Dash, Pinkie, and possibly Fluttershy being drafted. Rarity might be able to squeak by as Sweetie's caretaker as for background ponies I really don't know.
Well things went quite well with twilight and her folks. I'm glad that they were so supportive of her. Eh I guess after being briefly turned into potted plants once it's hard for anything to take them by surprize anymore. Also nice choice of job for the both of them. I can totaly see them rnning a small bookstore, it really fits so well with Twilight's love of reading and her drive to learn too. Heh Moon Beam is so cute, speaking of witch. "Resistence is futile you will lower your emotinal sheilds and be assimilated into our family." I swear she's just too damn cute for her own good, it's like Dot from Animeniacs only she's FAR better at weaponising it.
Also let's all give a cheer for Nightmare this chapter. i'm thrilled at how she spoke so highly of Twilight here. While she didn't outright say she loved her, she did seem to admit that she finds her worthy of her admeration and affections at least. I know that it will probibly be a while yet before nightmare takes the big plunge and admits to those kind of feelings it's nice to see some more progress to that end. Also you go twilight for having the cuorage to call her your beloved queen in front of your parents and said queen herself. that's a damn big step. Also count yourself lucky that you can blush and have your fur hide it I bet there are ponies that wish they could do that.
Well I'm all out of bricks and mortor for now so it's time to wrap up this rant for the time being later all and I look forword to chatting with you all later.
Wall-O-Text
137543 Sounds like what you're going for is the Germanic Tribes a before, during, and a little after the Roman Empire.
*bounces!*
MORE! MORE! MORE! MORE! MORE!
:D
137920 Well Janus you've Raised some good points with this wall. I'd like to geek out and comment on it
Wall-O-Text
Okay so according to Wikipedia a village can have thousands of people living in it. Let's not forget that modern towns can have 100,000's of people living in them, but that is were the problems start. Applying modern population sizes of our world to Equestria's is a problem, but based on the number of random and palette swapped Ponies, and unique ponies we sometimes see, like in Cutie-pox where we have ponies we've never seen based off the Big Lebowski show up at Ponyville's local bowling alley or Doctor Whooves, including a Pegasi version. The show seems fond of adding more random ponies all the time, so there is potentially hundreds Hundreds of Ponies in Ponyville based on that alone.
How small is Ponyville anyway? I've never seen an accurate map that showed the location of things like the bowling, that cliff that pram nearly went over in Mare-Do-Well episode or the old folks home's location. Sometimes we see streets that look a bit too modern, and then we have big open spaced areas, quaint little rivers with arch bridges and a library built into a tree. And let's not forget the schoolhouse against the hilly background. As cloudy commented in the story, the town's layout is confusing. (Also props for naming the Mayor).
Because of the confusing size and scale of Ponyville it would be safe to say a few thousand Ponies reside there, including the farms on the outskirts of town like the Apple family's orchard or Pinkie Pie's, family Rock Farm. That's not counting Pegasi who live overhead in cloud homes like Rainbow Dash, or Hermit's like Zecora. (Assuming there are other ponies that avoid regular ponies like her) We can roughly estimate a few thousand Ponies live in Ponyville a population around 3000 to 3500 if I'm any sort of expert (Which I'm not )
I see we're on the same wavelength when it comes to Rarity Janus, But I realized a flaw in my theory, Rarity's parents can technically take in Sweetie Belle. Sure they're more absentee parents but the internal Conflict Rarity would go through, joining the Lunar Army just seems too tantalizing an opportunity for Peppy to pass up. Besides she'd be joining up to protect Sweetie Belle from Griffon Conqueror's. Admittedly she does run a successful, if not technically needed business in Ponyville, perhaps she can bribe the mayor to mark her as Sweetie Belle's guardian. But then her parents aren't too old to join either so Peppy could have them join to save Rarity the horrors of War and leave Rarity as Sweetie Belle's guardian.
The various market vendors like Carrot Top and Applejack seem to make their own produce and would be excluded from recruitment since they provide the towns food and likely export it too. The cakes would be too since they have foals or foals on the way, and various public service ponies like Cherilee the school teacher and Mayor Silver ink provide services that exclude them from military service.
Big Mac going off to war to protect the Apple family is something I'd see happening, I imagine Apple Family members across Equestria will sign up for the Lunar army and if the Griffon's actually kill any of the Apple Clan? They'd have the wrath of one of the most widespread and influential families to contend with. Including the Oranges too, who are part of the clan as well as rich and influential. Also it would be interesting to see Green Ink interview soldiers or go off to the front-lines as a reporter, informing readers about the war and battles.
Now I'm going to make a short list of Background Ponies that could be off to war and allow peppy to make some brief mini-episodes within the main story of Ponies that have to learn to be soldiers. I tried to pick the most popular Ponies that could be off to war logically, and tried to keep the list short (I failed)
1.Big Mac
2.Caramel
3.Pokey Pierce
4 -7. The Lebowski Ponies
8-9. Aloe And Lotus, the spa ponies
10.Zecora
11.Lyra
12.Vinyl
13.Octavia
14.Bon Bon
15.Doctor Whooves
16 - 18. Daisy, Lily and Rose
19.Berry bunch
20.Braeburn, I imagine he might join to protect Appleloosa from the Buffalo who are likely peeved about that Orchard on their stampeding grounds.
21 - 24?. The Wonderbolts, their exact numbers are unknown but the MLP wiki says there are 4 named, Spitfire, Soarin, Fleetfoot and Rapidfire and several others unnamed at this point.
25.Colgate
26.Ditzy Doo/Derpy Hooves - A pony I would prefer remain off the front lines, since she has two daughters in most stories but they could stay with Carrot Top or Doctor Whooves
27.Screwball
28.Boxxy Brown
29 - 31. Hoops, Score and Dumb Bell. (Rainbow's Jock bullies from Cloudsdale)
32.Raindrops The pony that dropped stuff on Twilight in Pinkie Keen along with Derpy
33.Allie Way / Lapis Shores - Bowling Pony
Tonto, thanks for the complements and here I'll try for a bit of friendly idea bouncing as I seem to be good at that.
Hmm, you have some intresting ideas for Green Ink I'll admit that but, I don't know if I'd pick up on them mainly because when I post the final article of his (the one after the soon to come Twilight Interview.) I hadn't planned to do anything more with him for reason's that he himself will make clear. I mean really there's only so many people who will listen to a tabloid jurnalist much less one who didn't get the names of two of his sources right. Also, Silver Ink heh I wonder if Peppy was jokingly suggesting that he's somehow related to the mayor of Ponyvill?
As for the size of towns as I said before I live in Wyoming the smallest state in the US so I've seen my fair share of towns and small scale cities. Ponyvill just feels too small to me to be in the thousends, though i will admit that it was seemingly built by the same people that re-arrange Springfeild every week or so (Seriously how does that town work no wonder everyone there save Lisa are off thier rockers.)
Yeah I can see the wrath of the Apple family as being a DAMN scary thing. For the most part you're looking as a family that is not only strong enough to knock fruite from a tree with a single powerful kick but also skilled enough to not snap said tree in half with said kick either, and that's not even getting into what ever talents thier cutie marks lend them. Then throw in the sheer numbers implied in said family and the fact that they tie into the apprently upper class and therefore highly influentail and heavily funded Orange family yup you mess with the Apple family and you'll wish you hadn't done so faster then you can say "Suthern drawl."
That's a nice list of background ponies you got there, I've got a few questions about it though. First how do we know that Vinyl and Octavia live in Ponyvill? How many unnamed wonderbolts are there anyway? I once heard that there were six wonderbolts shown in the show itself but I'm not sure if that's true or not. Also if Rarity's job isn't important enough to keep her from being dressed then i doubt that Photo Phinish, Hoighty Toighty, or sapphire shores are safe either.
Though speaking of the draft in geniral, just because you're drafted doesn't mean you'll make the cut. I can't really see the flower trio making it through any training program that Cloudy had a hoof in creating. Granted they could just be rushed through and put into a desk job of sorts. I mean really an army can't run without it's paper pushers especaly not in wartime, be they clerks who keep the unit supplied and running, com officers for inner unit comuniaction, or just administraightive types in geniral ther's far more to warfare then just some basic combat training and bodies on the feild.
Hmm one week for the paperwork to be filled out, dispacted, and then acted upon. Yeah I can see the need for speed in this situation but I'm not sure if even a week will be fast enough. I'm guessing that the higher ups in the gryphon lands have figured out that thier redshirt has failed his task by now and arn't too happy about it. Granted they have shown the level headedness to wait for prime oppertunities but time is becoming more and more an issue for them. nightmare is regaining her magic reserves, putting her army backtogether, and bares a rather nasty grudge and given that she's the type to hold onto a grudge for 1,000 years then act upon it with a vengence I'd say that our fine feathered fiends are starting to feel the pressure here.
Anyone wanna guess when Dr. Cox will find out about Twilight being up and about? I'm saying either next chapter or the one right after provided nothing too nasty happens but really half the fun in this story is seeing just what peppy has up his sleeve next.
138180 Ah I see I should've been more specific regarding that list of Ponies
The list is just Background Ponies in general, not just the one's living in Ponyville, basically the one's I'd like to see written about. Hence why I mentioned Wonderbolts. Their have been six on screen but numerous others with different mane's and tails have shown up too, which is why I'm unsure of their exact number.
I never thought of Ponyville's randomness like the Simpsons before. In theory there's also a trainyard somewhere if the intro sequence and the fact the Mane 6 took a train to Canterlot and Appleloosa. Plus Ponyville is supposedly close to two different forests, Everfree and Whitetail woods. There's also random mountains and lakes/ponds as seen in Griffon the Brush-Off. Sweet Apple Acre's is already confounded with an Apple Cellar and an old barn torn down by a Rain-nuke/Rain-Bomb and a literal forest of Apple Tree's, y'all remember Apple-Buckin season right?
Geography and scale, they mean nothing to these confounded ponies didn't they have a Dam just outside the city? And a boarded up well in the middle of nowhere too?, where a crowd appeared literally out of nowhere. Gah, I'll give myself a headache and everyone else trying to figure out how Ponyville is laid out.
I wonder if Nightmare Moon killed those two Dragons, the two that lived near Ponyville, the Red one with the snoring problem and the green one in the forest during the attack on her Castle? It just occurred to me that they might have been fighting there.
The Griffon's are mobilizing for an invasion Janus, that is true and they've been preparing for awhile. Which is why I'm wondering if there are mercenaries Nightmare could hire, other Griffins would probably be preferable for her but Dragons would be better, she'd just need something worth it to them. Perhaps Nightmare and Cloudy will show off some amazing strategic skill or perhaps Twilight could demonstrate a knowledge in tactics of war, she is a bit of a bookworm after all, and I'm sure She'd be willing to assist knowing more Ponies will live if she helps.
137827 Kevinsano and ButtcupSaiyan.
137920 I'd have used the names you used, but I prefer the ones I put in the story. And, when I realized that the mayor's name was similar to Green Ink's I facehoofed. Too late to change it now though.
137988 I think that's what I had in mind. It's been years since I studied any European history so I don't remember much, but I do remember something similar to what I was describing.
Tonto, not really your fault I can overlook the bigger piture for details with ease once my muse gets me going, granted my trains of thought can change just a much as Ponyvill's layout at times but still.
The problem with mercs is they're only loyal as long as you've got the coin and given how much Nightmare's been spending as of late that's an issue. Given that this is going to be a war with a more combat oriented species the last thing that nightmare needs on her mind is the worry that she doesn't have the funds to keep buying the loyalty of her troops.
As for Twilight being helpfull with tactics and stragy, i can see that. i didn't bring this up becore because of how screwy the tech level for the show seems to be but i can see both rarity and Twilight being skilled at games like "Civilisation" and "Comand and Concore" with the right mindset games like that can be broken by an apt mid with extream ease. The two unicorns in question have been shown to be very apt at both short term on the spot planning and long term goals so yes while Twilight would be good at such a position I can see her being a bit reluctant to take it up at first.
Speaking of just how odd Equestria's tech level is I wonder do they have phones and TV? We learned in Sweet and Eliry that Airships and at the very least PA systems exist. So would it be out of the questions for Telephones, and Movie Theaters to be new and somewhat rare modern marvles in this world? I'm really asking because on one hand we have turntables that Vinyl uses but on the other whe have the older gramaphones as seen in the same episode (Twilight carries it about like a boombox oddly enough.)
I'm going to stop there before I break somepony's brain.
138398 I like to think of Equestria like Afro Samurai. A simpler era with some futuristic technologies like Camera's, steam trains, modern plumbing, electric lighting, printing presses, cranes etc the list goes on
Not to mention I still find Ponies holding things weird, sometimes they hold things in their hooves like a person would hands like in the winter wrap up song, Ponies holding snow shovels and at other times they use their mouths, all the non unicorn ponies. I try not to think about it too much and use my imagination, Cloudy using her hoof to hold her blade in this chapter.
As for the mercs, well I see them as a temporary solution hiring them for the one battle on the condition that leave Equestria and enter another country, giving Nightmare Moon time to train up her army. Also using airships in battle seems like a smart Idea, at the very least Nightmare could rig one up as a bomb and pilot it at the Griffon army/King Flash Gordon style
She could also forcibly requistion privately owned Airships. Whilst I'm unsure how advanced tech is in Equestria Rianbow Dash naming her Tortoise Tank is an indication of a tank like device/vehicle/machine or they simply don't exist in Peppy's version of Equestria.
Peppy, meh every family needs a black sheep or two. Though I guess that given how odd naming conventions are Ink probibly shows up alot as part of a name. Though hopefully should somepony with the name Invisible Ink is smart enough to have a fake name to use instead of her/his given one.
As for the names of her parents, meh use the names you like it's your story after all. Besides given that he didn't give Moondancer's name, or the names of the rest of the EoH we can just pass it off as Green doing Twilight's parents a favor by not giving out thier real names, or he's just a hack either way works for me.
Tonto, true care use of mercs can buy her some time. I'm just note sure if she has the time to hire them, much less gather up the green recruites for a crash course in basic training. Call me paraniod but I can't help but think that things are comming to a head very quickly.
Maybe it's just because of the whole thing with Brook but I've become a bit wary of letting my guard down. While I have no doubts of Twilight getting her happy ending, the tone of this story implies that she will have to EARN it with a lot of blood, sweat, and tears. Granted she's struggled plenty so far but I just see far too much possibility for something to go wrong at the moment. Damn it Peppy y u maek me so paranoid?!
One way to look at Equstria is its entering a period of very rapid technological change around the time the series starts (or not too far before and the changes are just reaching places like Ponyville).
Tonto, Yes and Peppy is making this into one hell of a fun trip, with a new surprize around every corner.
Awesome stuff, Peppy.
I was wondering if you're familiar with S.M. Stirling's Draka series, or the Erin d'Ingolfsson fanfiction series by Anne Marie Talbott, set in an alternate timeline from that universe? There are quite a few parallels and similar themes between your story and that one (superhuman who was supposed to be defeated wins, takes a character as her 'pet'; cue feelings of having betrayed her people, cloppiness, romance, adoption of cute superpowered kids, near-death assassin interception and getting enhanced by the healing process, etc), and you might enjoy it if you haven't read it yet.
Yay! Enjoyed this chapter! Twis parents took everything rather well.. I guess the way NMM put it is probably the best way to say it haha. Can't wait to see what other changes Twilight has. Honestly didn't expect Gilda to join the ponies like that. Could it be a trap? le gasp Don't keep us waiting too long for the next chapter! Also, how long is this fic going to be? Or are you just writing it as you think things up?
KS
138789 This chapter reminds me, I wonder how the Queen will handle this revelation that a "tabloid" is slandering her name. If she even knows what a tabloid is, that is.
The War On Griffons: All your Gilda are belongs to us.
Oh, and good news, I managed to break from Skyrim! (Only to start playing Brink. Damn you, Bethesda!)
I don't care if this is a romance at heart, I'm officially declaring this to be the official song of this story. (upbeat, but entirely about death. totally sounds like this story.)
Twi gets her demon eyes! YAY!
And for four haberdashers and their quest for Potatoes Au Gratin(or something like that):
~
Rebelfire sighed and asked, for the second time, "Are we there yet? We've been walking fooooooreeeeeeevvveeeerrrrr..." To which Janus replied, "It is true, this is quite a long path..."
Peppy was about to tell the two of them to stop complaining and just freaking walk, dammit, when a cheerful voice from behind spoke, "Well maybe you all are just walking too slow!" The group turned to address the voice, and saw that it was a dark furred and maned earth pony.
"That's easy for you to say, your talent appears to be running!" exclaimed Rebelfire. "Heh, yes, that's true. M' name's Tonto, but most people call me "The Trotter". I run recon in the remote areas of Equestria where there are few or no settlements, to check for trouble and what not. I actually lead the squad, in case you didn't notice."
Janus, although instantly intrigued by the pony's position asked, "But why is this path so long?" Tonto smiled and pointed to the side and replied, "Because it passes through the training grounds, of course! I don't know why you didn't notice the guards training all around you." A thought struck him and he said. "Speaking of guards, is there any reason why a guard at the gate was stuffing something into his mouth, and the other one had a kitten?"
Rebelfire was instantly alert, and shouted, "THERE WAS A KITTEN BACK THERE?"
Peppy saw this coming, and before Rebelfire could dash off, he jumped onto the pegasus, and pinned him down. "You just had to mention the kitten!" the mention of the kitten caused the pegasus to squirm more, and Peppy turned to Janus and said, "Quick! get some sunflowers or daffodils to distract him!"
As Janus stuffed the flowers into Rebelfire's mouth, Tonto asked "Erm, What are you three doing here, anyway?" Janus, not preoccupied with pinning down a still slightly squirming pegasus answered, "Oh, we're the scribes that were ordered here. We were supposed to be here sooner, but we got... Sidetracked. Let's just say we'll never do anything involving spaghetti ever again."
"And you brought him? Are you sure he's a scribe?" Tonto asked, pointing at Rebelfire. Peppy answered this time saying, "He may not look like it, but he's got potential. Don't worry about it."
Rebelfire finally stopped squirming at this point, and was finally let up. "Why are we just standing here?" he asked. "shouldn't we be heading towards the castle, or something?" With that, he turned and started towards the castle, missing the collective facehooves of the ponies behind him.
They traveled a bit, and just before they reached the castle, Tonto said, "This is where we split, I've gotta report to the commander with my findings." Before he could leave, Janus stopped him and said, "Do you mind if I tag along? It'll be interesting to hear about your travels and whatnot." Tonto thought a moment and said, "Sure, why not!" And the two of them walked off.
Peppy sighed. He should have seen this coming, what with Janus coming from a military family and all. Memories of his childhood with his friend came back to him, but before they could get very far, he heard a crack from behind him. He turned and saw Rebelfire standing by the castle, hoofing at a shard that had splintered from the wall. "Reb, what are you doing!?" He shouted.
Reb stopped a moment and said, "Seeing what this is! Duh." Peppy facehoofed, and ushered Rebelfire into the castle. "Sheesh, sometimes I just can't believe the things you do..." Shaking his head, he took a few steps forward, but was interrupted by a ball of fur launching itself from a side hallway onto him. Before he could react, he felt tickling hooves traveling along his sides, and broke out into laughter.
The tickling stopped, however, when Rebelfire started to laugh. The filly turned and looked at him, her eyes shining in amazement. Peppy lay heaving for breath, forgotten as Moon Beam aproached something she had rarely ever seen: Somepony her own age.
~
Extra long today, because I missed the last chapter! I think this replaces the cliffhanger that was absent these past two chapters. Hugs and muffins to all!
ce work on the side story Rebelfire, it's very fun to read.
So just how much fun is Skyrim anyway?
Also this sounds like a Mony Python skit "Four haberdashers and their quest for Potatoes Au Gratin"
In reguards to your question on how Nightmare would react to Green Ink's view on her? I'm not sure depending on her mood I'm guessing anywhere from bitter indiffrence to mild rage. I mean granted Ink isn't singing her praises but really he's more glossing over her to figure out why Twilight has taken a position by her side. While at the same time painting Twilight as a former child prodogy who worked herself into an early burnout and had a breakdown because of it. Now were she to read Green's final article oh there's no doubt in my mind that Green Ink would get life imprisonment at best.
138966 Never heard of it, but I may check it out.
139394 I love slug's art, but ya it kinda clashes, however it still fits perfectly to me xD
The rest I'll get to after work
Wall 'o' Spam WIN!
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Brougt to you by.. TrollEstia
139000 I don't really have an expected length for it. I have a plot line (hehe 'plot line') that I am adhering to, but as far as how long it will take to get to the end? Dunno. I fill in the spaces between the plot points as I go. Summary. All the detail and stuff comes to me. Plot already laid down.
139987 OH HOLY SWEET CELESTIA'S NIPPLES!!!! I can't believe I have the author of The Quiet Place reading my fic. I may have just jizzed in my pants.
140047 Oh, my. I'm flattered you enjoy my writing so much.
140073 Oh... *looks at nails as if disinterested.* I don't like it THAT much OK I'M LYING. Yeah. Love your stuff. Been reading each chapter as they come out with gusto! I'd comment more, but I'm usually busy reading or writing Also: [insert fanfilly squeal here]
139328
I always saw myself as an Earth Pony Rebelfire, thanks for the inclusion in your side story. If there are more additions coming, then feel free to add me. I'm sure I'd find following you guys around more interesting than scouting, perhaps NMM will assign me as your personal bodyguard .
139926 Oh ok, cool! I know a lot of people that write just kind of make it up as they go. It never turns out as well as this and that could be one of the reasons why
Well thanks to some very generous help from Peppy here comes what will most likely be the second to last Green Ink article. I hope you enjoy it all.
Equestria Enquirer Vol 237 Iss 84 11-03-2501 PG 1
Image Color Phototgraph of Nightmare Moon seated at her throne, with Twilight and Moon Beam sitting at there places of honor at her side.
Headline In Her Own Words
By Green Ink
Well my Beloved readers it has taken well over a month but I was finaly able to sit down with Twilight Sparkle herself and get some insight from her on her own position as the loyal consort to our new queen. While I was epecting a cold detatched acadmeic I was greeted with a soft spoken and for the most part rather warm and welcoming intelectual. I'll admit I was very shocked to see that her apprence had changed a greast deal since i snapped that first piture of her all those monthes ago when i first started work on all this so that you my dear readers could get enough information to draw your own conclusions about just who she is.
I'll be honest with you all I didn't linger much at New mareland Castle it is a very intimidating place and the queen herself didn't seem too thrilled to have me as a guest so I only stayed long enough to get the answers to the fives questions that were niggling at my mind the most. Regrettibly Miss Sparkle didn't answer them all as throughly as I would have liked but she was atleast kind enough to give what information she could so without further adu here we go my darling readers!
Question number One "Why didn't those artificats you found work as on Nightmare moon like they did before?"
"Well, according to My Queen, she had spent a lot of time on the moon contemplating how she would prevent herself from being affected by the Elements of Harmony after they had banished her. She figured out that the only way to successfully block the effects of the Elements would be to absorb energy from the moon, her namesake, and manifest it into a shield of almost equal force. This, as she said, would not have been enough by itself and so she used the powers of the Elements against themselves. Well, my own element, at least. It's actually quite amazing, how she did it, that is. I know that the magic of friendship was what activated the Elements, but after they have been 'charged', if somepony has enough will and a particularly high compatibility with one of the elements, then they can make it do whatever they want. Queen Moon has a much higher ability to perform magic than myself and, even as weakened as she was by the Moon Shield, was able to nullify my Element thus effectively making her shield more powerful than our spells."
Question number Two "Would you tell use how Nightmare Moon has been treating you ever since she abducted you all those monthes ago?"
"Ummm... I'd rather not... She might get upset if I divulge any of our past." She began, I could pick up quite a bit of hesitation then she paused for a moment. I could see a trace of concern on her face, but it was quickly hidden by a smile. "She has been much nicer to me after our... agreement. I'll say that it was certainly rough at first, but I wouldn't trade our time together for anything else." While a picture is worth a thousend words sometimes what is not said gives us far more information then what we are told.
Question number Three "Would you please explain why your loyalty semed to shift from the mare who was practicaly a second mother to you to our current reighning queen?"
I still miss Celestia, and love her dearly, but she is not who I give my love to." Twilight looked down at the ground. "She is still very important to me, but My Beloved Queen is my entire life." She stared into my eyes, a fierce resolve burning in them, as she said her next lines. "I love her so much and there isn't anything I wouldn't give just to stay by her side forever. If it means never seeing Celestia again... then I'll just have to live with my choice." Trust me when i say that those new eyes of hers can become quite unseetling when she needs to get a point across, that was a very chilling look.
Question number Four " Is there anything that you would like to say to the Spike and the other five who came and attempted to rescue you not too long ago?"
Here she puased once more to try and compose herself. hwever her efforts didn't seem to bare fruit as an overwhelming aura of depression seemed to exude from her at this point. "I..." Tears formed in her eyes as she tried to talk, but it took her many moments to work up the ability to do so. "I just want them... to know... how sorry I am. Especially, Spike. He was like a little brother to me and I'm sure... I'm sure that he loved me as family as well. It broke my heart to have to tell him to leave, but I couldn't let him stay after the things I've done... I hope that they'll forgive me some day..." Once more it is what we don't say that can express more then our words ever could. I truely wish to know the story of this mare's time with our queen however it seems some things will not be reported.
Finaly we came to my last question. It seemed that this interview took more of a toll upon her then I though it would. the chipper mood that started off our meeting has long since passed and I could tell my welcome was wron out so I asked my last question. "I've tried avoiding this question as not to be rude but it inquiring minds want to know, why has your apprence changed so drasticly?"
"Ummm... It's hard to explain... I think it's best if I just tell you that it was a side effect of magic that was used to heal me after the griffon assassin attacked. I cannot say any more as I have promised Queen Moon to not speak of the details of the spell. Badger me all you like, but I will not betray her trust." Again I recieved a rather hard look from her and knew that I wouldn't be getting any more information from her so i expressed my thanks for her time, said my good byes and departed from the throne room.
Well my dear readers, while i wasn't able to get you the whole story I do think that there is enough information here for you to draw your own conclusions about Twilight Sparkle. I leave it up to you and the history books to deside if she is a hero, vilain, or victem of the times that we now live in. As for me, in few days time I'll write up my own thoughts on the matter in an editorial thus allowing me the freedom to say what i really wish on the matter and not be bound by the formalities of the front page so untill them my faithfull readers, ALWAYS read between the LINES and never stop seeking the TRUTH!
and here we go. I hope you all enjoyed this. Give a big thaks to peppy not only for inspiring this little side story of my with his work, but also for taking the time to provide answers to my questions. I wasn't quite sure if I'd be able to capture his version of Twilight so i sent him my questions in advance via PM. Though just a bit of wraning while I saved his answers i forot to save my questions so they might read diffrently then they orignaly did if they do that's me trying to get the questions back Jepordey style.
140420 Confound you Janus, you've made me a Side-Story monster
~The Timely Assassin ~
The Moon's gaze fell upon the encampment below. Rows of tents housed a bustling army below, with the rest of the army mainly camp followers or whelps still waiting for their first battle were forced to nest in roughly spun nests in the tree's surrounding the camp. The camp lay below the foundations of the old fort, of three spires. Aptly named for three jutting spires that once rose out of the fort.
One of these Spires had collapsed at some point in the last 200 years since it was occupied, but the rest of the structure stood strong and firm. The Fort's other defining feature besides the collapsed tower was a banner raised over the Fort's entrance. A black griffin, outlined against a gold backdrop. The interior had been cleaned and gutted weeks ago and made fit for habitation two weeks ago, as part of a covert effort. Now the Griffins were gearing for war, it was expected that the fort would be housing more soldiers temporarily before they moved on. The Fort's undecorated Spartan interior was lit by candle light casting long shadows and leaving the high roofs darkened.
"60 seconds"
A stallion moved silently along the wooden support beams, hopping gracefully and silently onto the next beam. His deep blue, hooded cloak covered his mane and body, whilst his face was hidden beneath the hood of his cloak
"45 seconds"
The door's opened as the Guards prepared to change shift. Below him the two Griffins that had been guarding the room turned the corner and left. Leaving the door exposed, the replacement shift could be heard approaching, their sharp talons and hind paws clicking softly on the ground, whilst their plate armour rustled softly against their feathers and flanks. Dropping down, the Stallion forced the door open quietly and slid inside. Easing the door shut.
"30 seconds"
Moving silently, The Stallion examined the room as he made his way to the bathroom. A feather cot lay across the room in front of the door. A sword and dagger lay just outside the bathroom, The Stallion picked them up and moved them quietly under the bed. He walked up to the Bathroom door and kicked it in.
"15 Seconds"
His target was before him, General Blackbeak. The old crow, notorious for his rumoured raping's and his known pillaging in other countries. He'd dare not attack Equestria whilst Celestia reigned, but with all of the Griffon clans united and going to war he'd been chosen for his notorious reputation, and was to begin leading raids as soon as Nightmare Moon was confirmed dead.
"10 seconds"
Blackbeak was engaged in some sexual depravity. He turned at the interruption and attempted to screech and alert the guards. The Stallion was quicker though. He slid smoothly across the tiled bathroom floor and brought up his two fore hooves, a gleaming pair of blades flashed as candle light struck them. The blades plunged into the foul birds chest puncturing both lungs. His mouth managing only to croak out a pitiful moan before the Stallion released him, and retracted his blades. Holding Blackbeak in his hooves.
"5 seconds"
"Tick tock, tick tock, time's up" The Stallion said in a quiet voice, as he lowered Blackbeak to the floor and pulled his eyes shut. Blood pooled out of the gaping wounds on Blackbeaks chest.
Silently the Stallion approached the only other person in the room. A young Mare, barely out of Foalhood. Huddled in fear in a far corner. She was trying and failing to stay away from the expanding pool of blood and the corpse. He extended a hoof, she cringed in fear at the Stallion before her.
"Tick tock, tick tock. We must leave. Come with me if you want to live."
The mare still huddled in a corner but slowly took his Hoof in her own two hooves and allowed him to guide her out of the bathroom. He walked back over to Blackbeak and took a white feather off of Blackbeaks head and dipped it in his blood before placing it in one of his pouches. He then followed the last order of business and dipped a hoof in the blood, sketching out a bloody crescent moon on the wall behind Blackbeak. He then walked back into the room and wiped the blood off on the bed.
"Tick, tock Follow me my Dear, I'll lead you to safety.Or my name isn't Tick tock"
The Mare followed him to the window as he hid behind the curtains scanning the skies and wooden palisade walls for sentries. Seeing none, he opened the window and prepared to leap. The shivering mare wrapping her hooves around him assuming he had Pegasi wings beneath his cloak. He did not, he leapt into the night sky as they both plummeted, the mare realizing at the last second and preparing to scream, but was prevented by a hoof to the mouth. The both slowed down as they neared the ground, a dark aura surrounding them both. They landed softly, and immediately after Tick Tock trotted forward still carrying the mare. He walked into the shadow of an old oak, blending in seamlessly, the Mare on his back being the only indication he was there at all.
A unicorn was waiting for them, Tick Tock showed him the bloody feather before giving a curt nod. All three vanished into the countryside their mission fulfilled for tonight. They would continue to strike valuable targets, and make Queen Moon's future battle's easier. For now though they would plan their next move and begin training their newest Acolyte.
I hope you all like Nightmare Moon's future assassin Tick Tock. Next time we'll see Tick Tock taking his new Acolyte out to learn the basics
Tonto, great work as always. It's because of stuff like this that I say I'm good for bouncing ideas around. While I'm not wordsmith of grand talent i seem to be able to inspire others to be just that at times at times. Also I'm digging Tick Tock he makes me think of that one batman villian who was so damn prsise in his timing that he even got away from the bat. I think his name was Clock man not sure about it thought.
140842 Cheers Janus, I felt being timely and punctual would be cooler. Also there will be more assassin's in the future Assassin stories, I have some really good ideas too
Edit: Oh and that Batman villain was The Clock King, but I haven't watched Batman: The animated series in over 10 years, except that one episode about the guy who accidentally aggravates the Joker by shaking his fist at him.
Clock King, well i was close at least. The real kicker is I have batman TAS on DVD and I couldn't rember his name or the episode you're thinkig of though I do recall said episode. You know awsome heros or not it would suck to live in either the DC or Marvel universes. I mean who want's to call down the wrath of th Joker by making the simple mistake of yelling at the wrong guy on the highway.
getting back to the fic at hand I wonder just how good of a flier is Gilda. We know that she hung out with Dash alot and was said to be rather fast as well given they were both in the Jr. speedsters, though that doesn't mean that she isn't more agile then Dash is. I'm not trying to put down Rainbow but she does seem to suffer from luanchpad McQuack syndrome at times.
Also Five of my intrenets to whoever can guess the meaning behind the two names I chose for my user name.
141320 Janus as in the Bond villain and Hyde as in Mr Hyde. Now gimmie my points
I'll give you 2.5 internets as you got the last half right though granted the last one was a given. I was thinking of Janus from Roman myth who if I'm recalling right was the god of doorways and archways, and had two faces a young one that looked to the future and an elderly one that looked to the past. And because I was feeling really clever that day the initals of J and H is also a bit of a play on Jekil and hyde so yeah 2.5 out of 5 internets are yours use the well.
141596
I thought that it was a play on "genocide", but maybe that's unintentional...
141596 Skyrim is the fun kind of game where, when traveling through the wilderness on a mission set by a little child to kill an elderly woman, you can get sidetracked into punching a dragon to death and then delving into an ancient tomb.
It's not all too different from this story: there's dragons, various species of beings (if you count earth, pegasus, and unicorn to be different species!) dangerous animals, vast amounts of magic everywhere, and war is on the horizon. (replace griffons with high elves/imperials and ponies in general with humans in general/Nords, respectively.)
140771 Nice wor- Hay wait, I thought I started all this madness? Does our lovable bomb making Pyretread not count? I mean, he might not, he could be dead. poking Pyretread It's hard to tell. is he dead? No, not yet.
Well, that was.... reassuring! anyway, good work! It's interesting to see that he's got a tic, tic, tic, too.