Nightmare Moon survives the Elements' power and takes Twilight as her prisoner. Now, the alicorn queen must establish her monarchy and defend her rightful place as queen against those that oppose her.
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Clop-lite version brought to you by our proud sponsor, Peppy Greyskull. Hope you guys enjoy whichever version you decide to read. I like both, but, being me, I prefer the cloppy one. Gotta love some fun sexy times amirite?
75458
I love you so much right now
Heh I read through both and I'm proud to say that I rather enjoyed each of them.
It's Wall-O-Text Time!
So, this chapter gives us quite a bit to think about right of the top of my head, how small and underfunded is the Royal gaurd if Nightmare Moon thought that she slaughtered the lot of them roughtly a moth and some change ago? Just how common knowlege is anti-magic devices and (ironicly enought) spell in Equestria that atleast five of the Royal Guard remnents not only knew the spell but were disiplined enough to maintane it through Moon Beam's Freddy kruger esc rampage? Unless I'm off here the only reason that sheild fell was because of that unicorn running off.
next up Moon Beam in proud Hasbro and naritive traditions shows us to never trust apprences alone as a means of determining how dangerous someone/thing is. Our little shape shifter here show us a sample of not only what she's capeble of but just why Nightmare is so very fond of her. Thought I'd really like to get inside her head abit if only to find out just what it is that allows her to flip her switch from "Bloodsugar spiking cuteness" to "Slasher film monster" and seemingly not notice the difftrence. Next while we're told it's only been a few "Days" after her reserection Moon Beam has attached herself to twilight quite readily apprently more then even she and Nightmare realized as Twilight was able to sooth her rage enough to settle her back to "filly mode" though the price for this discovery was rather high.
As for brook and twilight's relationship I like how Brook is consideret enough to wonder if they're moving too fast or not. This shows us just how much she really cares for Twilight give that she said that she's been carrying a torch for her for quite some time now. Maybe I'm just to cvnicale or maybe I've read/watched/Played too many forms of media to ignore that the sword of damicles is hanging over thier heads.
As for Nightmare Moon, I wonder just how much of her actions later in the chapter were motivated by anger alone. While she has a damn good reason to be enraged at Twilight for causing five assins to get away. This does strike a major blow against her. Though it's not as if she has as firm a grasp on Equestria as she likes t think. We have no word on Celestia, all six of the Elements of Harmony are alive (Albeit one is under close gaurd and is slowly losing her will to fight.) and as this chapter deminstrated the Royal Gaurd is still around to some degree. Not only that but this and other chapters show that a good part of the castile staff hold no loyalty to her as well.
Yet inspite of all that I can't help but wonder if anger alone was why she acted so harshly when twilight interfeared. Could jelousy have come into play here, what about betrayle? I almost wonder if pride wasn't a factor as well, While we know little about why Nightmare clings to twilight like she does we do know that for whatever reason Nightmare Moon has feelings for her. Given the kind of mistake twilight made here it's a wonder that she isn't dead. While Moon beam's affection for her may have helped abit I doubt that it would have caused a major strain in thier relationship if "Aunt" Twilight were to fall by Nightmare's hoof. perhaps Nightmare enjoys Twilight's strong will?
This Wall-O-Text brought to you by Bolthouse farm Smoothies! It's not an addiction I can stop any time i want!
75583 You make me laugh so damn much with these walls. They're so much fun to read. Now to address the several wonders! In the show you only see a few guards running around carrying out Celestia's orders, but you must know that there's no way the monarch would only have a handful of ponies to protect her if something bad DOES happen. As far as I'm writing this the guards are FAR from gone. That small group was overconfident with their anti-magic field and they certainly didn't expect little Moon Beam here to rage fist them in the face. And yes, considering that Nightmare Moon had some trouble crafting the magic-draining ring on Twilight's horn, it takes the entirety of the five unicorns to sustain that spell so with one unicorn running off, they couldn't maintain it. For all intents and purposes the unicorns of the guard were all trained to be able to cast the anti-magic shield.
Somewhere in the very near future Moon beam will explain (in her childish logic) how she came across Nightmare Moon and why she thinks she's all powerful. Later Nightmare Moon will give full detail. Expect that at the same time as she explains how she survived the Elements as well. As far as the relationship between Twilight and her goes, Moon Beam is a filly that has only known Nightmare Moon (even if she was 'dead' for a thousand years). She truly sees Nightmare as her mother and Twi as her auntie.
Yes their relationship is quite the dangerous, albeit amazing, one. One wrong move and death shall be rained down from the sky by a very furious Nightmare Moon.
Can't really say much about Moon's reaction to what happened. Don't wanna ruin anything y'see. But you can definitely tell by the fact that she DID leave Twilight ALIVE that she holds her in much higher regards now than she ever did at the beginning. It's also true that Nightmare Moon only holds the throne due to most ponies being way too frightened of her to act. Should, say, a mass revolt happen then we will see true extent of Nightmare's claim. It's also true that, even though Moon Beam sees Twilight as family, she is much more attached to Nightmare and would take her side should Twilight decide to betray her or be killed by her. Nightmare is her Mommy after all.
75481 So which one did you read? Considering your reaction I'd think it's safe to assume the sexy fun time one. Good choice. Also, I aim to please.
Read both versions....liked the clopy version, thanks for writing it
75691 Not a problem sir. I plan on doing more as long as it, as I said, builds upon the relationships. I won't write it JUST so I can say: "Yeah, I write clop material. 'Cuz I'm awesome like that." However much I AM awesome like that.
75698 yes sir you are awesome like that, this much to be precise
Another good chapter, making it better by adding a clop version :pinkiehappy
Will be interesting to uncover the truth about NMM and Moonbeam ,and damn if NMM finds out about Twilight and Brook she will do something far worse then just brand Twilight.
75708 Why thank you sir. That makes me feel like quite the classy one.
75716 You seem to have broken your emote. Anyhooves, the truths shall come. As far as TwiBrook is concerned, who do you REALLY think will be in more trouble? Her pet or the one trying to take her pet from her? Hmm?
75726
yeah thats why i said worse then branding , killing or something along that line to the one Twilight loves, thats worse then pretty much anything.
75743 Very very true. Well, who's to say what will happen? Oh wait... I can! But that would just ruin the story
Speaking of said Branding iron I get the feeling that this isn't the first time that Nightmare Moon has considered ah-hem (Ugh Umbridge flashback! Damit J.K. why u ruin dat word?!) "Marking her tarritory" so to speak. Though even if she did decide to brand Twilight where exactly would she press the iron? If she cares for twilight enough to not slaughter her for making such an epic level screw up as the Moon Beam insodent I think that she probly respects her just enough to not scar her cutie mark. I don't know why but i get the feeling that doing so would be something of a taboo in Equestria.
Once again this rambling is brought to you by Bolthouse Farms Smoothies, I need my fix damn it!
75847 Haha no problem. Nothin says fun like making you guys swing emotions
76070 I'm not going to use it again unless something REALLY bad happens. I mean REALLY bad. And I know what you mean. I blame being tired on this though.
76080 While branding cutie marks would be like THE WORST. POSSIBLE. THING. What better place would there be to brand a pony if you're trying to claim said pony as your own? There isn't a single way to force a pony under your servitude better than brand them forever over their cutie mark.
lol I'm really liking Moon Beam for some reason
76334 Who wouldn't? She's such an adorable little thing. PLUS she goes super hulk and transforms into a raging killing machine when she's angry! Best. Pony. Ever.
I'm really hoping that the Rescue mission doesn't end up going to far south but, damn it Peppy I almost when to see this line in the fic! "Ponies no take Auntie Twilight Moon Beam SMASH!'
Here's a thought why isn't Discord out and about? You would think that given how unstable things are lately that he would have broken free by now.
Oh rot I just oped up one hell of a plothole didn't I? How is it that nightmare Moon didn't trigger his freedom yet what rought translates into a playground tussle does? I guess one could argue that Nightmare's return weakned the spell and the C.M.C. were just the final shove that toppled the house of cards in cannon. Thought why the Elements failing and Nightmare's killing spree didn't push him over the threash hold in this story has yet to be addressed.
Sorry Peppy my brains been on extra hyper mode lately I haven't been this jittery since I gave up soda about three/four years ago.
77277 Lol just for you I may put that in there for all the times your comments have made me laugh. Actually... I know where I might be able to fit it in As far as discord goes. I don't know. I don't think I'll be adding him to this fic at all. However, that's not to say I won't make a sequel with him I'll think aboot it.
Uh, wow thanks I wasn't expecting that. I was just cracking a bad joke becaue you brought up the Hulk. My mind is very odd it works like a faulty MP3 player set on shuffle simply hearing the right set of words at the right time will have any give song, line of dialog, conversation or what have you playing just because I can make a connection between it and what i heard/saw recently.
I'm glad i can make you laught though mostly I'm just speculating about this fic because I have an idea for a two novel book seires yet I can't get myself to write word one of it even though new ideas keep popping up all the time. Well that and I just really enjoy bouncing ideas around with people.
As for a possible fic with Discord, I almost pitty Q 2.0 given how much he tends to overestimate himself and underestimate others I can see him being blindsided by Nightmare Moon and twilight pretty badly. not to abuse a pun but Nightmare's a whole new ball game compaired to Celestia. Though given how good you have been at throwing curvballs with this fic I probly just put both my feet in my mouth right there.
77342 Lol Yeah your comments make me giggle quite often. As far as the line goes I'll put it in there when it's the right moment so be on the lookout for it. You should totally write the novels. I'd read em. And yes, Discord would certainly have no idea of what to do with Nightmare Moon considering he's only known Luna/Celestia. Plus I doubt that he'd expect Twilight to be with NMM so combining the force of the Elements + Dark Queen of the Night + Moon Beam = one foked up Discord. If I do make the sequel though (and I probably will) I sure as hell wouldn't have him get whupped in the first two chapters like the show did. That'd just be lurm.
Also when I add the line it'll fit the story. Gotta make sure the story doesn't just go off the wall or anything.
I have read both versions of the chapter and like both of them ^_^ Looking forward to the next chapters.
MOON BEAM IS HEAVY ! "RUN COWARDS HAHAHAHA. What sick man sends BABIES to fight us? also >.> <.<
SPARKLE IS SPY! -runs- "DON'T RUN ITS JUST HAM!" -runs faster-
I'll keep a look out for said line thanks.
Guess what time it is, that's right it's Wall-O-Text time!
Heh the two books in question have bee bouncing round my head for roughtly two three years now. Mostly I've been doing world and character building stuff in my head and the one time I tried writing it down in Word said computer up and died a few weeks later. Granted in was an old clunker running on Windows 98 but still.
As many stupid mistakes as Discord makes if there's one thing he knows how to do it's read a situation. Granted he doen't always use the information he gets right but he knows how to read a situation rather well. Throw in a rather uncanny ability to improvies when he actualy feels like it and his geniral unpredictiable nature and he's quite a threat. Really the only two things that held him back in the show were layzness and arrogence if he didn't get so cocky after the whole Spike is the new Rainbow Dash bit he could have won.
Cleaver and crafty as he is discord is something of a slow learner. I mean come on he somehow knew enough abit the current situation to know that the EoH had found new bearers, and knew some basic facts about them. Yet foolishly made a big shw of his escape, if he had kept a low profile he could have used his time wisely to better understand his new foes so he would have been able to use thier weaknesses agenst them to better effect then after breaking the girls minds he should have scattered them across the globe further isolating them, having effectivly disalbed the elements he would have been free to do as he pleased untill the sisters could have restored the girls to their senses.
This Wall-o-Text brought to you by Bolthouse farm Smoothies, I finaly got my fix!
77529 I'm assuming that was a TF2 Reference. I'd laugh more (and don't worry I giggled) but I've only play like 10 minutes of the game.
77860 Sounds like a sign Lol but anyhooves, yeah Discord really REALLY got full of himself. Sure, he had been in stone for who knows how long and thought he had broken the girls, but he was WAY too arrogant. But that's how he is right? When I do the sequel I'm going to pull off his release from imprisonment pretty similar to the show as far as the wide-spread chaos and hahaha I'm back there's nothing you can do thing cause I'm crazy powerful and unpredictable goes, but I'll have to think of something other than chocolate rain and cotton candy clouds for his changes. Just wouldn't fit in with the story amirite?
89787
Shouldn't it be more like this:
gifflix.com/files/51791f3e2586.jpg
I'd like to say that I think you're a sick fuck, and I envy you.
Do you know how often I tried to write a character seriously hurting another one? Quite often. And I succeeded only once so far. (With an aboslute unknown character. I gave him a name, an asshole personality and let him beat up Twilight) But I could never let excisting characters hurt each other. I'm just a big softy inside and it pisses me off!
Good chapter ;P
"She had only ever given to her Queen and was nervous about having somepony else in her nethers" - It's the evil version of Princess Molestia!
"enjoying Brook's tongue inside her backside than she had with it in her love." - Miss a word?
"Twilight could taste herself on Brook's tongue." - Which part of herself could she taste?
I have a serious objection to this chapter, i will continue reading but i must voice my opinion.
Clop was awesome buuuuuuuut... you NEVER go from ass to anywhere else without a cleaning step in between, sure if she had only rimmed then good toilet hygiene makes the point moot but with actual penetration into the anus(rectum? i can never remember) you need to remove bacteria. So pink to stink fine, but stink to pink bad.
Then again this is a fic about colorful, magical, talking ponies so maybe this doesn't apply, with no word to the contrary so far their ass could literally have chocolate in it (RD has skittles).
Wow... sadistic much? Anyway by far the story is good though the plot needs some work.
Nice
Btw, was Commander Firebrand supposed to be a reference to the Fiery Joker/joshscorcher on YouTube?
76348 " She's such an adorable little thing. PLUS she goes super hulk and transforms into a raging killing machine when she's angry! Best. Pony. Ever."
So... She's a non-pacifist version of Fluttershy?
I'm sorry Nightmare moon went out of Character for me with Twilight. Nightmare Moon exists because as Nightmare Moon Luna had the mindset to go after Celestia and you forget the true reason for the sister's fight. Luna wants the ponies to love the night thus herself as well. She doesn't do evil things for the sake of evil. What she did to the Royal Guards in this series I can by but this chapter in that one aspect is a black mark. will keep reading for now but way to out of character here.
5687602 Smart-ass time:
See that "Alternate Universe" as one of the tags? Your argument is invalid.