Just think a year and some change ago things were business as usual, now though I can barely remember what it was like to not have fight everyday just to survive. Its been a long year and a hard winter hopefully I can get a break sometime soon.
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At work, will read later...
Who needs work.
Oh noooooo
you're slipping
I need more.
good luck hank
9817358
I've been slipping since the start of this story man, this slope has no traction.
Awww. It was just about to get good.
9817693
I was going to continue but realized I was at 12,000 words so I decided to stop and not fall into my 25,000 word chapter days.
couldn't you just do what some tv shows did back in the day and add a pointless red shirt character that opposes Hank's ideals. The ponies could see that not all humans are like Hank which would give them an expanded viewpoint on humanity while at the same time the red shirt human could go through some arc. I say red shirt since that other human would have to die at some time since this story is about Hank, even red shirt human's death could help the ponies deal with their bias towards Hank. It would also serve to alert Discord to the fact that something interesting is going on and give him a legit reason to show up in the story.
Hurray a new chapter
9817737
I have thought heavily on adding another human but have decided against it. I have a heard enough time making Hank barley 3 dimensional and I don't think I could write another character with any sense of quality.
I think Hank's realization of exactly how unstable he is, is going extremely well. He is beginning to understand what he is doing without realizing it and he is stopping himself. His reaction to Twilight was a little over the top. I will P.M. you the rest of my thoughts.
I like the conflict between some elements and Hank, love how Luna defends him. also I really like how you make different cities have different opinion on Hank.
9818009
So, does that mean it's bad that I enjoyed his anger with Twilight...
9820336 No, it makes you Human; vindictive but still Human. Twilight has been an antagonist for quite some time and given Hank's Humanity and our ability to relate to him, reading about his reaction to Twilight would be cathartic.
Please don't let Rarity get raped, that's all I ask.
I think its interesting how you handled the Twilight issue. Now don't get me wrong, I wouldn't normally condone any twi-buse, but I do think it served its purpose. That purpose being a massive reality check for her. Doing so broke her out of her cloud of hate and indignation and forced her to start viewing the situation (Hank and his presence) from a new perspective. This point was only driven further home when she realized the results of her actions in the form of Hank's admittedly justified disdain for her. Him telling her off and to do him a favor and kill herself, while a bit excessive, definitely hit her hard. Way harder than it would have been before the events of today.
9821190
It definitely was over the top. Hank doesn't know or care on what is too far though. I'm really trying to show that he has a hard time being "normal". Hope its not coming off too obvious.
9821482 Baby steps. At least he's taking them. Him noticing that his autopilot is kinda fucked up given the situations he's in is a testament to that.
i wonder if hank collected any poly mags in his time.
9823417
Sure he has some P-mags but I just don't see the need to describe what material the mags he is using are made of.
9823533
Some people like decorating them, curious if he did that to any of them
9823799
Yeah I've seen some stuff like that, if he decorates any mags I think I'll just have him paint some old u.s. gi mags.
I have had a bit of an issue to set my thoughts on this story, and this chapter now that i have caught up, to words.
And I don't mean that in a bad way. Stories like these, that make you think and see things from multiple perspectives can be hard to put into words.
First of all, its interesting to see, and even have the main character know that he's royally fucked up. And its understandable. He comes from a world that tore itself apart in disease, confusion and chaos. He's been alone for what, 2 years? That alone would fuck someone up. Humans are social creatures by nature and he's been alone for a loong time.
I also have to agree with many, that I like that Hank relishes in what he does, if the person or creature deserves it. It shows how truly skewed his mind is, and how it got so screwed too. He's been doing this for so long, he has started to like it.
I also like it that he's not overpowered, not in that sense really. He's just absolutely fucking terrifying. He's got a mouth on him, AND I like that you have a scientific reasoning why he has an affect on the opposite species there. I normally don't like that kind of thing with stories or fics. But I will let it pass on my part because you give a good solid reasoning, and Hank shows that to get there, you really, really have to be close to him. Even he's weirded out by AJ's ahem. Little episode. The only one I can honestly see him hooking up with, and because she's managed to get past a good deal of his defenses, is Zecora first of all. And I don't think our Hank here will rush into that for numerous reasons, mostly his own and for good reason. As well as I don't think, at least I can't see him going on taking a herd. Ever. Again, for his own good reasons.
So how you write that will be interesting.
Though, there is one thing that I do want to make a comment on, and its more of what I see needs to take a good backseat for a while.
The Shuck attacks. Either he completely and utterly gives them the genocide route, which I think he will want to do anyway. Or they have learned their lesson and simply don't fuck with that territory anymore. The Apples need a break. They, as ponies. Can only take so much until they are fed up. Family or no, they will get tired of seeing Hank bloody all the time and setting himself in such danger. Even Zecora will have her limit.
Now I am just voicing my opinion here. Its your story. But I am just saying I don't think they can take much more. It would be an idea that they get a break. Things calm down and the focus, both good and bad, is set more on Hank. He still needs to check out a certain city for petrol, his next adventure could be going there for a bit. He has money, and enough of it. He can guy gasoline by the gallons if he feels like it, or could.
Then there is also the fact that there is the result of the bounties he collected. The Zebras and Minotaurs still possibly want to get a chance to meet the one that killed that gang. I think the Minotaurs would possibly understand Hank best. They are more of a warrior race, if I understand it correctly. Having him meet them first might be beneficial, as they might not be as terrified of him as Ponies are, and I know how he has voiced his thanks of not having people run away from him like he's a monster.
Also, I am just going to say this now. Celestia, in this, even though I understand her reasoning, her fear and such. She's a bit of a bitch. Again, I understand her. Still not an excuse for some of the things she said, or how she views Hank.
9870537
Thanks for the excellent feedback, that was great. I completely agree with you about the shucks. I used them as a conflict when I was short on ideas and it's taken up far too much if the story. After the next two chapters the first arc will be over. Thank god it's been nearly two years.
Again thanks for the comment man, it's what I enjoy the most about doing this.
9870755
You are welcome! And I am glad, because. Just damn. It got exciting, and it was a fun part. But at the end, it just got more tiring, and not to mention the danger was going into parts where I knew would put a lot of strain on Hank and the Apples.
If anything, and I am hoping to see this, I know it's not a guarantee or something like that. But. He needs time to recover. He can keep himself busy to some part. He has enough Shuck meat to dry, pelt to tan and cure, and use of course. He's running out of clothes. So either he can get someone, perhaps someone from the Griffin or Minotaurs to make him a proper leather outfit or armor? Rarity won't go near that stuff, and I would like to point out that he needs clothes that don't come from a prima donna seamstress.
She can do maybe pants or socks and shirts. But proper clothes? Especially for winter or protection? Let the specialists deal with that I say!
Again, just voicing my thoughts on this and I want to see what happens next!
T r e e
Months is suposed to be month in the singular
11179131
yes
"Do you fear death" would be great line there, mate.
I don't get this chapter. Hank has literally killed dozens of Shuck at a time. Why is taking it so cautiously with the Diamond Dogs? He's a murdering machine. They wouldn't stand a chance. This just leads it closer to Rarity getting raped. All for what?
Through all Hank's insanity, your obsession with his ass, Twilight being a xenophobic moron and ponies in general being crazy hateful, this chapter is what threw me off. I just don't get it.
11414584
Welcome to the club. Writing chapters months apart makes things a littleeeeeee wonky let's say.
Show me your warfare armor.
Luna has gone to drill instructor level of anger and rage
11414584
Ponieważ to nie shucki?. Mogą zabić niewolników możesz pomyśleć o tym jako mało prawdopodobnym ale nie wiadomo i dlatego ostrożność. Również z wilkami nie miał możliwości ani środków by dowiedzieć się przedwcześnie i ich możliwościach. Nie wiem dlaczego ksenofobia Twilight cię odstraszyła bo było to znane od wielu rozdziałów po za tym stres i niechęć sprawiają że można podjąć dziwne działania. A jego tyłek pojawił się wcześniej i nie zniknie. Nie rozumiem o co ci chodzi WSZYSTKO można rozsądnie wyjaśnić.
I almost think this Twilight ought to go get her hooves dirty rescuing Rarity. This Equestria is dangerous. Nice twist including Spike in the capture.
11414584
He is facing unknown enemies that have a semblance of organization. All of the encounters Hank has had with the the Shucks so far where basically him winging it. Not to mention, there are hostages involved.