Just think a year and some change ago things were business as usual, now though I can barely remember what it was like to not have fight everyday just to survive. Its been a long year and a hard winter hopefully I can get a break sometime soon.
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more killing
For now it is rather boring.
First off, it is blatantly obvious that you have never handled a real gun. Nobody and I mean, NOBODY who has handled a shotgun calls shotgun shells anything but shells. Second, that many weapons on one person is excessive and would weigh you down, give you blisters, and make a fair bit of noise. Putting a magazine in a boot would result either in the magazine falling out, or rubbing your ankle raw. The depiction of combat was not terrible, but it could use some work. In any life or death struggle, people fight HARD on both sides. Also, having a Smith & Wesson .357 Magnum myself, I can twll you it is tricky at best to move it around in your hand like that. It takes a GREAT deal of practice to do it smoothly and since there is no safety on it, doing it loaded is almost as likely to shoot yourself by accident. The depiction of the main character's other gear seems much more realistic and reasonable. Alice Pack, good call. I own an older one myself and they are fantastic if you know how to pack them. The duster, not a terrible idea because the fabric would help to ward off bites and so forth, but it would be REALLY hot on warm days. Still very useful though. I suppose my biggest hangup was the number of weapons he has. One main rifle or shotgun, one back-up hand gun (chest rig is a better idea than a shoulder rig), and the hatchet and knife. Otherwise is it overkill. A good Bowie knife can function as a hatchet and knife and has other purposes as well. I am curious why he did not have a pocket tool or a small bag of tools. If he has to get into places, those things would be handy.
Overall, more realistic than most others I have seen. Not bad. Continuing on.
8407992
Holy mother of Celestia. That is one detailed critique. But at least it's contructive.
Jumping down from the loft favoriting my lift arm due to my right one still being gashed open along the bicep.
(Left arm)
buena forma de presentar al personaje sin ser forzado ni tedioso
*facepalm*
9123267
And if he got 7.62 AR, then it is same caliber...
I hope you don't fire that from the shoulder. Or even the hip. The recoil on those bastards will actually cripple you if you try that.
You're gonna have a bit of trouble with that one, guy.
It's nice how i can't listen to the song because it was "banned" in my country
Reads title of chapter
Yeah this guy written here seems to be your typical over written bad ass. But truthfully he ain't no scavenger in a apocalypse. As stated by others he is severely weighted down with weapons. Also he is wounded so i would wager his use of two handed weapons would be put into question. His drinking of alcohol would be a no no in most survivors books (usually only to be used at your safe place. Also it would be better used in other ways than intoxication...). He throws rifles that can be used for parts... drives a loud vehicle into highly dangerous territory so he should be swarmed by the time he hits the city limits would be my expectation.
Sorry for the long ramble here it's just this grinds my gears on post apocalypse stories.
In the absence of being able to listen to the linked song, I'm afraid you get Aint No Rest For the Wicked, because this doesn't sound too far from Pandora.
9256300
XD took me a moment to figure out what you were talking about. With the keys that don’t exist. Lol
An intriguing beginning, but one that makes sense for the apocolyptic setting you have set up.
i shall read more...
Future me edit: This story is absolutely amazing!
Seams fine to me great job
11490872
Been a long ass time since I've gotten a comment on the ol first chapter. If you can handle this then I'm happy to say that it definitely gets better. Glad you're liking it though.
I hope the innocent ponies won’t have to deal with the guns. But I’m intrigued enough to give the story a try.
I've gotta say this guy feels extraordinarily well off for an apocalypses. Guy has an M240 LMG, and a M2, not to mention the kit he has on his person. Best I have is an old Polish steel helmet, for armor and a few puffy coats.
11693221
You gotta get better gear man. Also good luck getting through the first really bad chapters.
bruh, this CASUAL.