- Member Since 24th Feb, 2015
- offline last seen April 12th
Lunasservant1985
i live to serve the princess of the night, aka the goddess of the moon aka princess luna...^^
Lunasservant1985
Joined 24th Feb, 2015 ·
Offline
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Lunasservant1985 · 5.2k words · 128 20 · 7.6k views
- Lupis Wilde · 9.2k words · 100 7 · 3k views
- Lunasservant1985 · 3.7k words · 67 15 · 5.1k views
- Enigmatic Otaku · 8.3k words · 86 20 · 3.5k views
Featured In12
Clopfics11,554 stories ·15,819 members
One-Shots18,925 stories ·2,369 members
Humanized Ponies!5,597 stories ·3,469 members
Equestria Girls Fics12,125 stories ·3,769 members
Canterlot High229 stories ·136 members
Equestria Girls Clopfics896 stories ·424 members
Fanfiction Audio Readings807 stories ·334 members
Equestria Girls Fan Fict Writers630 stories ·134 members
Stats
Page generated in 0.095 seconds
Total duration
714 users online
766,834 hits today, 2,364,530 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
I'm still in the middle of reading, but I reached the Springfield '03's introduction and I have a couple of nitpicks.
For one, even between three military users, there is almost no chance for a single weapon to kill that many people. War doesn't really work the way video games and movies make it seem. Even between three wars, I would call 100 kills a stretch.
For another, it is highly unlikely for that weapon to be reissued to three soldiers, especially within the same family, for several reasons. One: you normally give the rifle back once you get discharged. Returning home with your issued rifle was a very rare exception, and was technically against the rules (granted, it is possible that her great-grandfather did smuggle the weapon home). Two: once you enlist, the military gives you a fresh, modern weapon that they know works and follows the standard issue of the time period. Bringing your old surplus rifle will just get you in trouble. Especially in Vietnam, where a five-round bolt-action is a serious disadvantage when your enemy is armed with semi-auto and full-auto rifles that hold far more bullets and generally have the same range (unless, of course, you were a sniper, but they were usually issued the more modern Model 70 in Vietnam. WWII surplus weapons were given to the South Vietnamese forces, while the Americans got the modern stuff).
I highly doubt the very strict U.S. military would allow that weapon to be reissued for three separate conflicts. The only way I could see it happening is if someone very high up in the ranks cleared it, which is very unlikely.
Sorry, I just felt the need to point all that out. It's nitpicking, I know, but when it comes to inaccurate military information, I get a bit triggered sometimes.
you always assume a gun is LOADED not UNLOADED
7795224 fixed sorry i must have meant never assume its unloaded by botched it up in the editing
7795204 i see why...i lowered the notches to just over a hundred each a stretch I know but let's just the equestria girls Spitfire the benefit of the doubt and say her family's line where top tier soldiers, really im not dropping the idea of the gun being a heirloom or wasnt passed on to each descent. Ik its hatd to ignore but i really wanted to put some mythos to this versipn of spitfire and doing my research i saw the Springfield saw use as early as wwI and was last used in yhe early years of Vietnam
7795284 You are right, the 1903 was still in limited use during the Vietnam War, but I just found it difficult to believe that the exact same rifle was used by three different soldiers, of the same family, in three consecutive conflicts.
And I can understand wanting to add backstory to a character that canonically has very little (if any at all), and I can see a WWI rifle (especially an amazing rifle like the '03) being a prized heirloom in a military family. I just feel it's unrealistic to say it was used in three conflicts by said family.
I'm not saying you should drop the idea. It's your story; do what you want. I'm just shining a light on a detail that may seem insignificant to some, but to others is very triggering. Like I said, I know it's a nitpick on my part, but you'd be surprised how a seemingly small detail can tell some well-informed readers a lot about the author and his/her focus. To me, you seemed more focused on the weapon itself rather than the feasibility of the history you give the weapon (I'll admit, I'm guilty of this too. Just look at any chapter of my story. Any weapon I mention, I go out of my way to explain what it is).
I'd recommend, for the future, to actually look into whether or not your idea is feasible/accurate if it has something to do with the military. Because i guarantee you will have either actual military veterans or military wannabes (like me) who will notice those details. If they're accurate to life, it will actually help your story and may gain you a like or even a new follower. If they're wrong, it will just upset the readers who notice that they're wrong.
7795321 i see, so...aside that...did you tead the rest of story and if so..what'd you think of it?
Thank you so much for this early birthday present, my friend. I enjoyed reading every bit of it.
7795478 really? Cause i know a lot of things right now are...a little stressful and 2016 hasn't been a good year for most people, i guess im just taking after pinkie pie, her specialty may be parties but her cutie Mark calling is in making those she cares about happy and giving them a reason to smile even when things seem hard.
7795335 It was decent. The only other issue I had was with the various grammatical errors. Once you get past that, it's a nice little story.
7795898 i wrote the whole story on my phone, having lost use of my computer recently from moving and not having a wifi adapter like with al my other devices
7795555 just a thought, I think you use the ... a little too much. You can still use it of course, but preferably not every paragraph.
7795555 i grew up reading comic books in the 90's the ... for emphasis got etched onto my frontal retnal optic nerves
Impressive choice of firearms. (But what kind of shotgun were they using?) And, how many firearms does Spitfire own?
7997914 I pretty much left that open to interpretation but I based it my first real time trying one. I can't remember the type but it was a combat shot gun that had a kick so strong I asked to use something to pad my shoulder
Being from a military family I'd say a small armory's worth at least one of each type, a rifle shotguns, and a collectionsmall worth of pistols
7998240 I gotcha. I one time used a sponge as a pad for when I wanted to fire my 12-gauge Remington double-barrel shotgun with both triggers. But it wasn't the shotguns that first kicked me back, it was a 30-06 hunting rifle.
And Quite I ironically, I actually made a Desert Eagle Mk XIX pistol for Spitfire
http://stu-artmcmoy17.deviantart.com/art/Wonderbolts-Desert-Eagle-Mark-XIX-Spitfire-editi-525292802
7998496 heh now I can't stop seeing that as the one she showed adagio when she asked why would she be so trusting letting her use hers
7998562
Nice!
8400810
thank you you're too kind
Target Practice II: Three Round Burst is an arcade game that offers a challenging and exciting experience. Players must shoot as many targets as they can in the allotted time, using three round bursts of fire. The game requires quick reflexes, accuracy, and strategy in order to maximize points and progress further in the game. The graphics and sound effects are excellent, ensuring an immersive and enjoyable experience. With its unique and difficult gameplay, target practice app: Three Round Burst is sure to provide hours of fun.