Tasting Berries

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Comments ( 10 )

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Xanni

Xanni #1 · Oct 30th, 2016 · 3 · 1 ·

You used "coily" several times, and they should all be "coyly" - in a coy manner, not "like a coil".

The Yaoi Mistress

The Yaoi Mistress #2 · Oct 30th, 2016 · 2 · ·

Interesting, well writer and enjoyable to read! Would read again!

PerigeeTheBat

PerigeeTheBat #3 · Oct 30th, 2016 · 3 · ·

WTF AUTHOR?! THAT WAS TOO HOT!

-blows on flames-

DashMaster

DashMaster #4 · Nov 13th, 2016 · 1 · ·

It's great to see this posted! And....yeah I'm going to have to agree with Eldunarlan here, that story was almost too hot

GloomyFace

GloomyFace #5 · Dec 5th, 2016 · 1 · ·

Your story could use a small editing pass; I noticed several spots where you used words that clearly didn't fit the context of the sentence: like "subsumed" instead of "subsided".

But overall I liked it Blossomforth doesn't know what she's giving up