• Member Since 11th Sep, 2016
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A German who likes history, and WW2 technology but not war. "Within the darkness there is light and hope"



May 16th 200-
It was supposed to be a normal day in Black Mesa. Instead, it opened a portal to another world named Xen but unknown to anyone, it caused a filly to appear here too. Can she get out safe with the help of a Marine and a Security Guard or will she die like so many did?

Chapters (8)
Comments ( 74 )

Ohhhhhg i so want in on this acthion drama RE and aliens can i plese be in this

7602098 Aliens and Monsters? Hell yeah! Don't get me wrong but if you had played Half LIfe or the fan mod Black Mesa, you would knew what would happen.
If you want more infomation, just use the link to the wikia side or to the youtube videos just like in my other storys, but they contain spoilers so at your own risk.

I have to wait for an reply form HumanSVD so I can make the next chapter but I will edit and update my other storys.
By the way, whoch alarm fits more in the first chapter? The alarm from the orginal 1998 game or the alarm from the 2015 fan remake?

No idea id say use forbbidon siren one

7602246 also you do realize u can link the events of ur first story in this one making a chain reacthion event stuff

Yes but all my storys are set in different universes (Except for A ghost in Need and Welcome to the New Order, are set in the same universe) and every story has also it's own MLP universe.

Still I hope you enjoy them all!

7607078 true but scoots got sent to the empire by acident then spell gone wrong opens portal for ab makes sense to link in attempts from imperials to find a way to get her back or send help

I get your point, but in Half Life, the portal's only opened a way to Earth and Xen But once I have all my other planned story's finished, I will make a story where everything gets connected to one universe.

7607218 nice can can i please be in it il deal with a intro if its ok

I see what I can do, don't know when, but how do you imagine it?

7607365 random portal dragging him into a room full of the big ones so hes gotta fight through them ro reach anyone not hostile

Ok thanks. No offense but you should check your spelling

Don't blame yourself, with practice you should get the hang of it in no time. Also, I should be able to upload the next Chapter of Black Bloom and Welcome to the new order today.

im gussing the rocket lunch is desinged to collapse the portal am i correct

Bingo! You get 100 points! I'm not sure if it will work but did you get the reference with Duke pony and I'm all out of pop tarts?

If you want to know if the rocket worked, you can see on the wikia side or or watch the videos of BigMacDavis I had linked. I'm looking forward how his videos of Half LIfe 2 will be, even if I played the game myself.

By the way, are you the one who featured my two storys in the CMC group? If yes then thank you very much! I appreciate it! :pinkiehappy:

Fell free to do this to my others as well and to comment them.

7609060 wasent me but ima thinking as i said i really want in this and you good sir just gave me a oping into it if its ok

Ohh, I thought you meant the story I have planned were everything comes together. As for the portal, I have this planned for the last chapter. Did you get the reference?

And I would like it if you comment my other storys

7609107 i will comment them when i read them good and yer i got the referance and faved and liked all so willread when i can like right now

7609157 np if its ok can i tell my idea thing in pm because its a simple one but intense

I linked the part where he said "Do it" so, send me the PM

For me it worked fine and I heard Do it

Thanks but It’s much too unpredictable. Don’t let it overcharge!

Dang it, expected that you would quote the guard.

Anyway next chapter should be uploaded tomorrow if everything goes well. Surface Tension is the longest chapter in the game but it won't be so long here

Thank you very much again. By the way, if you want to know how characters in the original Half Life and Half LIfe 2 do sound go here.

But be careful, while it does load, the PC can lag or freeze for a sec before it goes on normally. If you're interested how the guards, soldiers and scientists in Black Mesa sound, just say it and I give you the links. Have Fun!

thanks dude and loved it

7626515 Glad to hear it :twilightsmile:

As said in the note , a squel is planned. ts plays in Half Life 2 and Half life 2 takes place 20 years after the first Half life acording to the wikia.

As with my others storys, I will put music in links. By the way, Did I put the music in Forget about Freeman in the right place?

I hope you enjoyed the scenes and Music I put in as links. Forgot about Freeman is my favorite soundtrack in the game because of the drums which fits the scene perfectly, We got hostiles and Questionable Ethics 1.

7626570 sounds cool and you gave me a great fanfic linking idea if u wanna colab on it

7626578 im in
Black Bloom 2 should be made between sunday and Next week

Cute, I liked the ending a lot and overall the story, but I would suggest you have sent to it someone who could have edited it a bit before publishing it.

Couple things,

Konrad wouldn't have known Freeman killed in self defense unless he witnessed something to the contrary. Otherwise, he would have shot him (if Applebloom wasn't there). And even if she was, you could have portrayed it as her begging him not too kill Freeman and have him as a prisoner, only to discover what really happened and let Freeman go and earn his help.

I know the game is a bit unclear about their mission in regards to the scientists. In opposing force, you see the scientists help the Marines and you're not explicitly kiling them, nor are they registered as enemies. You could have portrayed it as their orders were initially kill aliens and rescue facility personel for debrief, but have the Black Ops guys give conflicting orders by either killing and hacking the radio commands, or see Konrad witness the Black Ops guys kill marines and or impersonate the Marines, and the Squad helps them.

You also missed out on a good joke. At the end where there's a recording of their banter in the help transport, a joke about baby sitting job was made. You could have made the Squad, or anyone make a crack at Konrad saying, "Well, looks like it is a baby sitting job after all! Take care of her!"

"What?! Why me?"

"Because she's attached to you."

*looks at his leg and sees the filly wrapped around him in fear*

Sigh. " yes sir...."

Anyway, overall good, just try to get an editor if you can next time. 8/10

I'm in an Editor group but nobody has replied so far. About the joke, I can edit this.

I am pleased to hear that you enjoyed it and I hope you enjoy the squel too. Should be uploaded soon.

About his Dreams, they were references to your storys and I'm sure Konrad would make a good father for ruby like Helmut in my other Story

By the way, the explaination about the mp5, shotgun and pistol were the most realistic i could come up with why the marines use them in the game. Any idea how I could explain it better?

I also hope you enjoyed the music and scenes i added as links. The Topside battle with the music, dogfight and sunset is just beautiful,isn't it?

I had the idea that the marines got Order to kill those connected to the project and to rescue those who are not. As for Freeman, based on the orders they got, Konrad suspected that Gordon acted in self defense


I found that the main problem with the story (or this chapter, at least, since I just started reading) is its pacing, since the first part feels like a somewhat-altered and compressed version of Black Mesa Inbound, Anomalous Materials, and Unforeseen Consequences. Even then, the environment isn't described in, well, ANY detail. One of the keys to a great story is vivid imagery (so is pacing).
Take, for example, Stardust by Arad. The first paragraph or so in the world of XCOM has plenty of detail.

The screams and the sounds of fire nearby were the first indications that Twilight wasn’t in Ponyville anymore. It was a long few moments before her other senses returned to her, smoke quickly filling her lungs as she tried to take a breath. The unicorn coughed as she tried to stand. Gone was the familiar feeling of grass and soil, replaced instead with smooth stone beneath her hooves.

It establishes that Twilight is in the middle of a city attacked by the invading aliens, doing so in a way that ensures the reader has a vivid picture of what Twilight is experiencing (and that the pacing isn't like The Flash on Pervitin).
With this first chapter, the pacing is breakneck.

“Wait, do you hear that?” The shotgunner asked. There was the crying of a child. It came from behind some crates.
“Yes I do. Konrad, check it out. We cover you.”
“Yes, Sir.”
Konrad closed in carefully, MP5 ready. “Hello? We’re here to rescue you.” He called out.
“That’s a liar! You killed that Scientist!” The child responded crying and scared.
“Listen kid, it was a misunderstanding. I won’t harm you I promise,” He lowered his weapon to show that he meant no harm.
“Ok, just don’t hurt me.”

This scene reminds me of part of the (atrocious) Digimon movie with how fast Apple Bloom trusted the soldier (who she knows killed a scientist):

Though I do like how you established that Gordon isn't quite mute.

Sorry if this comment seemed overly critical…

8057401 don't be sorry, I apprechiate such comments to improve. Details are my greatest weakness in writing. Regardless, I Hope you enjoy the rest of the story

8057904 Thanks for taking criticism so damn great.

I recommend you share your story with a writing group (Just search for "writing" in the Groups tab and you should find plenty of groups that can help you).

Hope this story improves!

8069406 thanks for the advice, I improved with some other storys i wrote. Hope you enjoy this story still

8069406 And I did combine the chapters of Black Mesa/Half life together so the first chapter woudn't be too long.

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