• Member Since 11th Sep, 2016
  • offline last seen 14 minutes ago

Bronycommander


A German who likes history, Children and WW2 technology but not war

T

The Pacific, 1945. The Second World war in the Pacific comes close to an end. But still Japan won't give up. Their soldiers rather fight to the end then getting captured. It's their honor. One Japanese squad however sees it as honor to keep a lost foal named Tootsie Flute alive.

Note This story is still being edited, so there could be some errors in in that will be later corrected.

Chapters (13)
Comments ( 56 )

Like it so far. Your knowledge of Japanese military conduct is impressive.
Just a few things.

In fact, lost.

Is there a word missing here?

On the planet earth

I wouldn't have him say this. However odd Tootsie looked to them, he'd still probably assume she was from earth.

“Wait, m-mama…”

Go for something a little less spontaneous. Like she starts describing her mother, slowly realises how much she misses her and then breaks down.

“Well, a bully named Colt Ice said my mommy is a freak for believing in humans and being fascinated by them.

I'd call him Dry Ice. Cold and biting.

As I yelled at him to take that back and said that everypony has the right to believe in things, he said, ‘oh if you like them so much why don't you go find them!’ and fired a spell as he is a unicorn like me. I passed out and find myself in this forest.” Flute let out a sigh, her ears down.

Wait, what?!:rainbowhuh::twilightoops:
This colt opened a portal to another dimension?!
Who is this kid?!

Thanks for the advice, much apprehiated! The colt, foals can't Control teleport Magic, it's unpredictable. What word is missing here?

“Maybe. If the Americans don’t destroy us with some kind of mass destruction weapon

Well......

8286990
Well, it's just that 'In fact, lost' doesn't quite make sense.
What was lost? How was it lost?

Also, if he couldn't control the trans-dimensional magic, he sounded like he could if he said he was sending her to the human world.
I'm just saying trans-dimensional magic would be an advanced skill to say the least. So far in the series, only Discord and Starlight Glimmer have that power and the latter only through stealing magical knowledge.

8288002
I see what you mean. What I meaned was that the war is lost. About the colt, it was just a normal teleport spell, you remember the safe-fail I told you about?

Despite her best’s efforts, Flute got spotted by the General. “Who’s this?” He asked suspicious.

So none of them question what the hell it is?

8289114
I couldn't think of anything better back then.

More struggle at iwo jima. This will not end well.

8292710
Yes, after all, it was one of the bloodist battles and the only one where the US had more casulties then Japan

Hey, I know you! You follow redsopine! Anyways, not why I'm here. Nice work on this story, I love these types of stories :3

Liked, btw

8293619
Yes i do and Thank you. Glad to hear that you like it.

The Pacific, 1945. The Second World war in the Pacific comes close to an end. But still Japan won't give up. Their soldiers rather fight to the end then getting captured.

Did this happen in real life?

"will we free her" should be we will free her. Great chapter overall

8296245
Thank you very much, apprehiated!

8300717
Nice. I Hope it deosn Shock you too much with what happened to tootsie

8300856
Nope. It doesn't. War is harsh...so it is kind of expected?

8301078
Indirectly. I Wanted a Shocking Scene

I like this scene the feels are Real

8302398
My goal exactly. I Doubt you would have expected about James Secret didn't you?

Flute struggled and screamed in pain as the marine pushed the tweezers into the wound. Sato said calming words to her. She calmed slowly down.

You need to rearrange the words at end.

8307449
Okay, Thanks! Hope you liked this chapter

But will Tootsie ever go home?

Comment posted by General Sparky deleted Jul 19th, 2017

Yay! The war is over. (for now at least) *hint hint* Korean war

Pretty decent.
I'd still have some of the characters treat the introduction of a talking, brightly-coloured foal as a bit of a weird circumstance.

MGs, Coastal Guns and Tanks caused heavy casualties for the Americans.

This needs detail. Death needs detail or it doesn't register.

8310537
Yes, I will think of something. I thought Kuribayashi would see it with honor and Nishi due his horse would love Tootsie

I'm here to take the pain away

Uh, nowadays this always sounds questionable, like some cult leader or drug dealer.
I'd just have him say 'I'm here to tend to your injuries.
Ugh! There goes Tootsie's sleep for the next few nights.

8310566
I see. THat Line is actually said by the Medic Enemy in Payday 2, I thought it would suit to calm Tootsie down.

“It was, but it belongs to the past now.”

I...wouldn't say that.
It was pretty much one of the main things that the USA held onto in their war against Japan.
Hell, it was what brought them into the war in the first place.

8310580
What James meant to say that he doesn't look back anymore but forward.

8310593
Ah fair enough.
Might want to add to that.

I always use an enemy weapon in such games, I never run out of ammo that way, given that more enemies fall than Allies, right?

I like how you play. I use the same tactics.:moustache:

8474333
Indeed. I prefer Bolt-action rifles over MLGs and SMG, as such, I used the Arisaka and K98. When it came to close combat, I was always stuck between the MP40 and MP44, while in MW, I prefer the AK-47. How do you like how I putted Miller, Polonsky and Roebuck in?

Well, this is quite an interesting start! Save for a few grammar and punctuation errors, it's quite well-written! I imagine Flute could end up being discovered at some point, which wouldn't be good!

I hope Colt Ice gets dealt with at some point!

8882814
Oh, he will, I can garantee you that, glad you like it so far.

At least the others were accepting of Flute. I really felt bad for her with the horror she had to endure on the battlefield, but at least Sato cares enough to protect her life! However, that cliffhanger has me worried...

8882957
Well, you should know how fast the marines gained the upper side. Do you like the soundtrack I putted in?

8882959
Oh, yes! I think it was an excellent selection of tracks!

It's a real shame that Tom died... but he knew the risks that come with war, so he died with honor. I hope Flute doesn't end up getting scorched! I just hate seeing ponies, especially fillies, getting hurt!

8889032
Me too but sadly, it can’t be always avoided.

Well, if there's one thing Flute is a natural at, it's cheating death! But at least she's okay! I'm surprised none of the Marines were questioning why there would be a pastel-colored cartoonish pony in their world... but I'm sure there are more pressing matters at hand! :twilightsheepish:

Yeah, I would've read this sooner... but I've been way too caught up with studying for final exams. I'll keep at it, though!

8904117
They dismiss it due being at war. And Good Luck with your Exam!

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