Death smiles at us all; all a man can do is smile back.
The Writers' Group56,449 stories ·9,299 members
One-Shots18,923 stories ·2,369 members
Short Stories5,074 stories ·548 members
American Bronies3,788 stories ·1,062 members
On a night like any other, Twilight Sparkle does a bit of stargazing when she sees an odd object in the sky.
The next day, however, she gets a visit from two unusual ponies dressed entirely in black, who claim to be agents from Canterlot.
Briefly edited by the awesome Flutterbrony539! Thank you for at least having offered to edit it. 
Page generated in 0.067 seconds
Total duration
927 users online
2,025,281 hits today, 2,073,628 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Damn. They sure took care of Tia fast.
Which is why I don't like this story. The ending twist is too forced. In addition, I'm damn sure these black-robed ponies would stand no chance against Celly.
Basically, good idea and good twist, but also forced twist. Downvoted.
7609528 Uhh... That's not what I was getting at.
The ending was meant to be ambiguous—not that the Ponies in Black "took care of Celestia". I'll freely admit that I didn't do a very good job of conveying that, but I wasn't aiming for that. As for how they heard them, I'll admit I ROYALLY screwed up there—so I apologize on that front.
That said, I appreciate your honesty. It's nice that someone at least left a comment explaining why they downvoted a story.
7609528 Or they didn't deal with her... maybe they told the truth about working for Celestia.
7609536 Oh. Well, now I feel stupid.
now twilight kindly look at this device for me
I also have a slight itch with the fact that they adress Twilight as miss. If they work for Celly, they should know that Twilight's a princess too. The idea is interesting, but I think vague threats would work better.
7609816 I chose "Miss" simply because—in my opinion—it sounded more... proper, even if they should be referring to her as "princess".
As for vague threats, I did throw back and forth as to whether or not they should threaten her more. I ended up not doing so as I was for two reasons. The first was I didn't want to potentially end up hitting a T rating (I'm not experienced with writing a story with an E rating). The second was that I honestly didn't know what else to threaten her with. So, I wanted to keep it short and sweet (for better or for worse).
Anyways, thanks for reading! I'm sorry if it wasn't as great as it could've been.
7609528 Woah, small world huh?
Soooo, Celestia's letter was a fake?
7610618 No, it wasn't.
Would the aliens be humans I wonder? :')
8428834 Hah. Maybe!
Perhaps it's where one of the Voyager space crafts will eventually end up!
8428836 That would be an interesting sequel. ;)