Dusk Shine in pursuit of Happiness

by bigsnusnu

SEASON TWO

After Sunset's statement, Celestia stopped eating her donut. What would Dusk do in this situation?

Author's Note:

Because by the rules of Fimfiction I cannot directly put the link as a chapter, I left the link to the second season in this note

Link to Season Two

Comments

[MLPMekarm]

is it gonna be out soon here??

[Necrogen Lord]

Uh, is S2 private? Because it says it needs a password to view.

[bigsnusnu]

10758220
yes, you just have to follow the link and it'll guide you to the first chapter of the second season.
I didn't want to put everything in a single story because it would be too many chapters

[bigsnusnu]

10758222
no password is required
what happens is that when someone post a new story, sometimes it takes a few minutes before it gets approved for posting, but it has already been approved so no problem

[Necrogen Lord]

10758314
Ah, thanks. Just saw it now.

[Punch_Line]

Only starting reading this story but I want to say that posting chapters like this is AGAINST RULES on FimFiction.
So you'd be better to delete this chapter.
Sorry if i am rude, just don't want you to get in problems.

[bigsnusnu]

10758783
Okay, thanks for the warning
About the length of the chapters, they doesn't indicate a minimum length, so I added a little paragraph and put the link to the second season as 'author's note'
Thank you

[DavisSentoV5]

[DavisSentoV5]

10761228
You're very welcome and I'll see you there soon

[Popamile]

Over 600,000 words!! Were there even that many words in Season 1?

[bigsnusnu]

10834391
haha it would be interesting to find out haha
Anyway, I hope you like the story so far

[Ralyx]

10926901
Sure, no problem. In this case, you only awkwardly placed a verb and added an extra one. Though I'd also recommend replacing 'that' with 'who', considering you're referring to a person.

The correction would be: "Was this pony who didn't know her trying to protect her?"

[bigsnusnu]

10927354
fixed, thanks a lot for the help :)

[JDAF]

10982310
Thanks you

[GreatDragonLord]

no offense to the author, but everything that happens in fanfiction is just a theater of the absurd: the behavior of mares, Dask's naivety, the attitude of others, etc.
If the work was originally planned as a comedy, then the result is simply gorgeous, because the absurdity of what is happening is at the heart of a good comedy. Otherwise ... I don't even know what to say.
eh, if not for 600 thousand words, then I would try to translate it. the work is amazing and it was recognized even by us

[bigsnusnu]

11116728
well, it has the comedy tag... haha
but well, I'm sorry if the story wasn't to your complete liking. I hope you can find other less absurd stories, more according to your tastes
See you

[GreatDragonLord]

11117343
I apologize for the misunderstanding.
Just a few minutes ago I finished reading the book and I can say that I absolutely and definitely liked it.
Then I will write in my own language, because through the translator it may turn out to be nonsense:
В этом произведении я обнаружил: любовь, в которую верится; драму, заставляющую читателя пустить слезу сопереживания персонажам; простой, но в то же время заразительный юмор (были сцены, после которых я чуть ли не катался по полу от смеха); загадки и тайны, которые было интересно разгадывать вместе с персонажами; качественный и проработанный сюжет с множеством великолепно прописанных действующих лиц.
I apologize if my previous comment dared to offend you. Speaking about the theater of the absurd, I wanted to say that it is the best of all that I have ever seen / read. Many works try to play on the emotions of the reader, but not everyone succeeds in this ... this one succeeded. I am grateful to you for giving me genuine emotions.

[bigsnusnu]

11119229
oh don't worry, sorry, I misunderstood
Anyway, I always try to take all criticism in a good way haha
and of course, I thought that with 'absurd' you meant that it was a nonsense story I'm glad it wasn't like that
Finally, I'm glad you liked the story
Спасибо за ваши слова

[TwiDash_lover0451]

i wanna read it just before i do i wanna know who his or her crush is... well il probsbly read it anyways XD i mean i read "Blue angels"... still wanna know tho

[bigsnusnu]

11130573
well, the story keeps moving forward, so it's not yet known who Dusk will end up with
I hope you like the story

[bigsnusnu]

11153922
I hope you like it
and in advance I'm sorry if the first chapters have some grammatical errors As the story progresses, someone helped me translate my story better
thanks for comment

[Joe Toon]

11263625
I do my best

[Enderstorm]

11338959
She's not being a troll, though. She's just being a dick.

[Mr Lore miser]

11419926
Okay I understand not wanting to solve everything with magic but you mean to tell me dusk shine a male version of Twilight sparkle didn't test himself in the past to see how strong his magic is and telekinesis is the most basic spell that every unicorn knows you mean to tell me that a magical prodigy wouldn't check to see how strong is telekinesis is: I am sorry my guy but that excuse doesn't fly

[bigsnusnu]

11419936
I guess you're right, Twilight is different from Dusk in several aspects. It's something that will be seen throughout story

[F14m3rz]

11530851
Ah, thank you.

And yeah, the IDW comics are wild. If you ever wanted to see a Spirit of Chaos get thrown into the sun by Daybreaker, they've got you covered.
2.bp.blogspot.com/eWufh2APn3LPnnBDDJfgiN1CTBj0JUF8XhtQ7sCpOe38nbNvUrXxvHXN9brgpu4I4op0WT7xmQtuqosbzmV3koLvintHUy5lka7d_vADfjDCjKoUjiXzp7k_nhIzpAOtHnVCM5CBRWo=s0
2.bp.blogspot.com/b_tmF_k38NNR56u6J_3T4mA26DsgkApliM9UptT-85RbxY1DNnmhCC9FI_YT3PLi6NWgPDgkKRDiZg0qN2buAOZePb5NiBl2fwyFlKxbT8Lfpw_z4wpO7nipGX03Y3ROphYf1VulYLQ=s0

[bigsnusnu]

11530935
yeah, there are several comics that I really liked. In fact, for the second season of my fanfic, I read all the official comics. So there are some characters and stories that appear in the comics I hope you can recognize them when you read it

[F14m3rz]

11532399
Oh, okay. The classification thing makes sense. But what I was referring to was that “rubies ‘heart of fire’” doesn’t really roll off the tongue, because the descriptor is supposed to come before the noun in English. It would be like saying “ardiente rubí”, even though the descriptor is supposed to come after the noun in Spanish.

In a sentence, it would probably go something like “These aren’t mere ‘ember’ rubies, they’re ‘heart of fire’ rubies!”

[bigsnusnu]

11532465
oh, thanks for the suggestion
I guess whoever was reviewing my translation that time didn't notice it
thank you

[Samellan]

11532394
Ah, a different snowball effect.
I wonder if it makes a different Batpony history as well. I'll see later.

[bigsnusnu]

11533238
who knows, there are still many mysteries to discover in this story
I hope you like what follows

[Samellan]

11535178
And she apparently did, considering her reaction on the picture.

[F14m3rz]

11543282
Oh, maybe I just needed to refresh or something, lol.

[F14m3rz]

11543278
Oh, for sure… but is Shining still a massive nerd?derpicdn.net/img/2022/12/6/3002051/medium.jpg

[bigsnusnu]

11543402
yes, a lot haha but as an adult I think it's not so much

[F14m3rz]

11546178

'portfolio' hahaha you're absolutely right
There you can see that whoever checked didn't do it correctly sorry.
In the sentence it was referring to 'town's mailmare'

I wonder if it was one of those simpler mistakes, like getting "embarazada" confused with "avergonzado", since the former looks like it would be the cognate for "embarrassed" in English.

about the Applejack hit, I'm not sure how to translate it. Could you give me a suggestion?

I dunno about a translation, since I don't have access to the original text, but this is how I'd make the sentence look based on the current translation. It would be something like:
"Finally, she placed all of her strength into her foreleg, causing Applejack's strength to collapse into nothing as she lost on the spot, a loud boom resounding as her hoof collided with the barrel's lid, her defeat present for all to witness."

[F14m3rz]

11563722
Oh yeah, I thought I should mention this if I haven't already, but you're really good at adapting things from the show while still making the story your own. Usually when it comes to retellings of the show, either things will be 1:1 with an extra character added, or the themes will be changed slightly, or the base story will be dramatized with extra stuff added. But here, it feels a lot more like you have your own story to tell using the setting and characters, but the events from the show happen around that story, if that makes any sense. Like instead of adapting Bridle Gossip for 2 chapters, and adapting The Cutie Mark Chronicles some 28 chapters later, you've instead had Rainbow Dash go through a depression arc that uses both Bridle Gossip and The Cutie Mark Chronicless back-to-back as a framing device. It's a really interesting way of doing things.
I also appreciate how the story can be kinda corny/cringe one moment (apple-butter jelly time!), but then in the very next moment, it recontextualizes Call of the Cutie by giving each of the CMC an arc and lesson to learn that's centered around Dusk's own misgivings about Friendship and its benefits (while also demonstrating why the adult ponies can't just intervene whenever DT and SS are bullying everyone else). It's a good balance between humor and drama that makes things feel really genuine and well thought out.

So yeah, this is definitely one of the better Dusk Shine stories out there.

[bigsnusnu]

11564090
Thank you so much As you mention, I'm trying to create something new but staying true to the spirit of the original story
I'm glad you like it so far, and I hope you like the following chapters too
thank you!

[Mr Lore miser]

11621287
Yeah true it's been a while since I watched the first seasons so as many going off the later seasons my mistake

[f0st3r21]

I think he would look at the girls and silently mouth the words, “Help me.”

[Mr_Moon]

This story is pretty good but not without problems.

Some interactions felt a bit forced.

Grammar could be improved a bit (I had some trouble reading through some parts)

Some word choices made the characters feel off.

I noticed that you used the word, "fool" and "tender" a lot.

But overall, pretty good. 8/10

[Arcticlizard52]

11661172
I don't blame you just that I find myself going 'huh' in certain paragraphs

[bigsnusnu]

11660547
the grammar thing, yes, it had several errors, especially the first chapters didn't have a good translation review, but luckily that improved in the last chapters thanks to the user 'Scribe of the Nightwings' who checks my translations
In Spanish I use a more varied language, but I suppose that when translating some words they are repeated a lot, I didn't realize
The thing about forced interactions is strange, most of them always tell me that what they like the most in my story is that nothing is forced, that the pattern of the characters' personalities is well followed. But obviously, all opinions are valid, so thanks for the advice
Anyway, I'm glad you liked the story, and I hope you can read the sequel
thanks for comment

[bigsnusnu]

11661180
yeah, I hope one day I can correct the first chapters correctly
Anyway, I hope you like the story and can continue it

[Mr_Moon]

11661184
Yeah maybe the translation made it feel forced.

But yeah I liked this story. Great work!

[Mr Lore miser]

11707210
Glad that you know but I have to admit despite it's flaws the humor was on point oh and speaking of stories did you check out my first story that I posted

[bigsnusnu]

11707223
It's been a long time since I read a fanfic. The truth is I have had very little free time. But when I can I'll take a look at it

[Mr Lore miser]

11707323
Cool

[bigsnusnu]

11733779