Silent Reflection
"How's this?" Rainbow Dash asked, amused as she laid across Soarin's back while he was resting on the couch.
Soarin smirked, the positions reminiscent of how he remembered his parents would lay whenever they sat on the couch together. "Feels great... honey."
Rainbow Dash gagged, lightly ''punching'' his cheek. Soarin laughed.
"That's it. We're through," she joked, trying to sound as monotone as possible.
"Oh no," he said with mock hurt.
"Seriously, why'd I ever have to fall for a dork like you?" she asked, Soarin feeling her hooves idly prodding at his back.
"Just got lucky, I guess."
"That's lame."
"I know."
He couldn't see it, but he knew she was smiling. He relaxed, allowing her to do as she pleased, even letting out a content sound as she hit a soft spot.
"You're good at that," he sighed.
"Once you've gotten as many massages as I have, you pick up a few things," Rainbow Dash stated proudly.
Soarin snickered, but his heart was warmed by how open she was being with him, talking about things he knew she'd be embarrassed about had it been anyone else, but said so boldly with him. His favorite thing about the whole experience - aside from actually getting to date her - was probably that he kept learning more about how she ticked. Every time he thought he knew her completely, she'd come out with something new that he didn't expect. Even if it was an insecurity, he cherished every piece.
"Let me try it on you next," he offered, referring to her massage.
"You'll fail," she said smugly.
"Teach me then."
The two shared a chuckle, taking great joy in how any tension in the atmosphere just melted away from their conversation. Not that it was completely gone - Soarin knew that it would be a long while before Rainbow Dash completely let the experience go - but it was still nice to not worry as much.
Still, he felt like he was more tense about it than she was. Why was that? Was it just because he cared about her so much?
He laid his head down on his foreleg, thinking further on it. Rainbow Dash must've noticed, because her massage slowed. "What's up?"
Though he didn't want to cut through the nice vibes, he spoke up anyway, "I just think it's messed up."
"Huh?" she asked. "The prank? I guess, but it's... it's over now."
Soarin shook his head. "Nah. The Element thing."
Rainbow Dash needed a moment to understand. "My friends?"
"Yeah? No? ...Sort of?"
She shrugged it off. "They don't get me all the time, but they're still my friends."
"That's kind of what I mean." He tried his best to put it into words. "I was just thinking about that ''Element of Harmony'' stuff."
"What about it?" she questioned, curious.
"I guess it kinda makes sense, now that I think about it; how you don't get much attention for it? You were picked because it's your destiny or something, right? So maybe everypony just figures that you do it because you gotta."
"...Yeah," she answered numbly. "Huh."
She still shook her head, not fully understanding. "But what's so messed up about it?"
"Everything?" Soarin replied with a shrug. "Like, what if you didn't want to go back to them?"
"I do?" Rainbow Dash retorted, confused. "I told you, I'm going back in a few days."
Soarin met her gaze. "But what if you didn't?"
The massage stopped.
Soarin continued, "I know you're great friends, but what if you weren't? Do you just pass your element onto somepony else? 'Cause if you don't, doesn't that put Equestria in danger? You six are like, the ultimate line of defense, right?"
Rainbow Dash said nothing as Soarin tried to lay his head back down.
"I don't know. I'm glad you forgave them - I don't think I could - but it's scary, you know? Thinkin' that you're almost forced to be together..."
"...Didn't know you thought about that kind of stuff," she muttered.
"Just looking out for you as your coltfriend," he reminded her with a smile, trying to lighten the mood.
Rainbow Dash nodded, eventually tiring on massaging him and opting to lay completely against him. Soarin shifted for comfort, but otherwise didn't move.
She smiled, but in the silence of the room, she took time to reflect.
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Scquishiey · 17k words · 79 3 · 3.5k views
- TheTalentlessPony · 4.9k words · 188 10 · 7.2k views
- Midday Giggle · 1.9k words · 61 0 · 3.2k views
- JackRipper · 1.4k words · 82 4 · 3.6k views
- TheMareWhoSaysNi · 1.8k words · 50 4 · 4.8k views
- 5746584864 · 2.3k words · 149 3 · 8k views
- GoldenChaos · 2.1k words · 57 6 · 3.2k views
- TheMareWhoSaysNi · 2k words · 80 6 · 5.7k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.101 seconds
Total duration
1,069 users online
2,102,982 hits today, 2,280,440 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
That's an abrupt ending. The story seems to just stop. I was enjoying it, now I am left thinking "That's it? But what happens next?"
8224978
That's a little of the intention. It's meant to kind of leave off a little bittersweet. Not everything is 100% okay yet, but pieces are falling into place and you're left thinking a little bit.
In fact, this had been my original plan on how to end the story from the very beginning; that idea never changed. I'm sorry if it ruined your experience or anything though!
This is a really cute, but sad story and I love it!!
I love how you thought of this.
This is really creative!!
The ending does seem to stop all of a sudden, but it is one of the things that makes this story.. Well... This story. And I love it.
It's a nice take on the alternate ending, good job.
8225163
Aww, thank you so much! This story idea was in the works for a while so I'm glad it's loved so far!
8225279
Thank you!
Pretty good. In my opinion, it addressed the issues of Mare Do Well and 28 Pranks Later. Instead of using Rainbow as a means of getting your opinions out, you had Soarin as the neutral party. A mediator of some sort. Accusation fics are guilty of authors using ponies as a means of getting their opinions out. Stories like those end up really bad most of the time, but you avoided that. Well done.
There are some other issues though. I did spot some run-on sentences and the ending of the story wasn't good. But overall, not bad.
8225136
I wouldn't go so far as to say it ruined it. Like I said, I still enjoyed the story.
8225496
Glad you enjoyed it!
8225478
That's what I do try to do in my stories; I've seen a lot of accusation stories and I think the problem with a lot of them is that, like you said, they just want to get their opinion out. Instead of using it as a means to improve the story, they convolute a lot of things so everything can be addressed.
What I attempted to do was not really make anyone seem like the bad guy. I mean, that's difficult because I really hate 28 Pranks Later and what happened there, but it's not that I think the mane 5 are terrible ponies, hence why Rainbow Dash just forgave them immediately. It was an extreme failure at communication that did them in, which is also why the "theme" here is that no one really "gets" Rainbow Dash.
I'm sorry that you didn't like the ending. I'm an awful writer. I try my best; it just doesn't work out.
8225505
You've made successful stories in the past. I just started to learn how to write as well. I've posted two stores on this site, but I read a lot of books first and practiced my writing. What I can say is this, go to The Writer's Group on this site. Trust me, you will learn a lot. Also, read books. Not fanfiction, just normal novels. I'm planning on writing a crossover fic between Star Wars and MLP with Lyra Heartstrings as a Jedi and the main protagonist. I'm reading a lot of Star Wars novels right now to get a glimpse on how to write the story.
There is one book that I can recommend you. Stephen King's book, On Writing An excellent guide to the craft that I highly recommend. Now don't say that you don't need to read these books. I'm taking on writing as a hobby and I read plenty of books to learn. The key to creative writing is to read books. You will learn how to write when you see authors do it.
Just because I did not like the ending, doesn't mean the story was bad. Also, don't use adverbs in stories. Use them occasionally, but not much (see what I did there). That is one lesson I learned from Stephen King's book.
8225522
Haha, I'm a terrible person. I can't really read books; my focus goes out the window. That's why most of my stories are less than 10,000 words.
I dunno, I always post a story and then immediately regret doing so. I expect like, one hour to three days to pass and I'll revoke this.
8225649
Is there a reason you can't read books? I felt the same way until I stepped away from the internet and video games for a while. You don't have to read much, just read thirty minutes a day. That is a reasonable goal. The book I recommended will be worthwhile.
Also, I have another link here I like to show you. Someone posted this writing guide a long time ago on FimFiction. It's worth reading.
It also doesn't hurt to reread your story before posting it on this site. See if you can catch your own mistakes and fix anything you see fit.
8225794
I just gave you the reason; I have a form of ADHD; I lack the focus necessary.
Not that it would matter if I had it anyway since I'm awful at retaining information.
Also, I reread my own story like twelve times AND had someone else proofread it for me. Look, it's fine whatever, I'm just... I'll take it down. If it's not perfect, it's not good enough, like I'm not...
8226002
Please don't beat yourself over this. I understand why now. Don't delete this story, it is fine. Just leave it be. Have something to look back to when you are writing more stories. Stay positive, learn and be happy at what you create.
AAAAAAAAAAAH!
👌
PERFECTION IS IN THIS STORY!!
yeah it's me again... I was reading this story over and over again cuz it's so amazing!
I just.... Odndhfhevdtehdidgsgskskutttiloveitbdjdbcgdbskdnfhfufbfh
I love it!!
8232070
Aww, thank you!
W-whAT? tHATS IT??????
Reading many soarin dash stories this is one that made me smile and take time out to read well done!
8500061
Why thank you!
8232070
Wow, I was very extreme a few months ago
I'm happy to stumble across this story once again! It's very original and well- written. I still love it as much as when I did in these comments.
8225163
8232070
But I agree with my past self. Perfection IS in this story! Good job!
8940964
Ahhh, thanks! I'm glad this has some rereadability!
I'm embarrassed by some of my past stories too, so don't feel weird about spazzing or anything!
8945938
Do you have a link to it?