I make fanfiction sometimes. Just call me 'Talentless'.
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(takes place immediately after Make New Friends, But Keep Discord)
Fluttershy returns from the Grand Galloping Gala with Discord at her side. Emotions peaked, she starts reflecting on the events, realizing that maybe she did things too. Was Discord really the only one who did something wrong?
They start to talk, and Discord eventually proceeds to ask an extraordinarily odd question that Fluttershy didn't expect to hear.
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Oh god...that ending was so adorable!
The story itself felt like the perfect add-on to the end of that episode (honestly, I don't know why you stuck the AU tag on, it really doesn't need it), and the characterization felt spot on...but that end bit was really the top of the top!
And now I'm picturing a follow-up where Discord arrives for their next gathering, and notices that Fluttershy is beet red and unable to meet his eyes, barely able to speak...and then he sees Angel Bunny looking smug. Pretty sure that bunny would be able to explain 'Flutterromantic'.
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Awww, thank you so much! >////<
And thanks for reminding me about the AU tag! I clicked the tag out of habit because I have a few unsubmitted AU stories, so that's my bad~
Yeah, that's probably exactly how I'd write a bonus chapter to this, though it'd probably not be Angel and Discord calls Fluttershy a name that's like "Flutter[something]", which she's confused by at first but then everything clicks together and Discord wonders loudly to himself why her face is so red all of a sudden.
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That would be absolutely adorable.
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Please please make that bonus chapter!!!!!
For the love of the stars please just make it!!!!
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Ah dunno, that's one seriously smart bunny, and he's pointed the obvious out to her before, so it certainly wouldn't be out of character.
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Oh, I'm not saying it would; I'm just saying that I prefer Discord to be there when she figures it out, and I want her to do so on her own.
*SCREAMING*
I laughed out loud when Fluttershy finally asked, "are you asking for my orientation?!" I just pictured it so perfectly in my mind, with her embarrassed and Discord just busting out laughing. That is SO Discord. And then I laughed AGAIN when he teased her. "Hmmm~"
XD They are so well in-character, and I can see your point of view about the episode because I feel the same way. Discord was the biggest jerk, without a doubt, but Fluttershy should have read the signals a little better.
But this was such a fun little fic. So refreshing to read, I haven't read a well-written, in-character (VERY in-character, especially Discord, you did him perfectly), fun, cute fluttercord fic in such a long time. Thank you for the treat.
And you ended it so cleverly and it gave me all the right fluffy feels. Ahhh. Definitely adding to favorites and reading it again in the future.
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*ROLLING ON THE FLOOR BLUSHING REAL BAD*
YOU'RE TOO KIND, REALLY, JKNGJSDNGDG! <3 <3 <3
I'm just so so soooo very glad that people love it because I don't really see anything addressing this so I'm just... extremely happy that it's getting love. TuT
Keeping in-character was also definitely important to me, and it was a daunting task because of how Fluttershy was characterized in the episode. I had to try and find some sort of balance between the Fluttershy from the episode and what I believe Fluttershy to be. The fact that people find it to be believable makes it all the sweeter.
Since people have been asking in the comments, I might as well ask you as well; would you want a bonus chapter where Flutters figures it out? You know your opinion is important to me, friend~
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SWEET CELESTIA, I COULD NOT BE MORE INTERESTED EVEN OF YOU PAID ME! IN FACT I WOULDN'T LET YOU BECAUSE THE BONUS WOULD BE ALL I WANTED!
AND gawrsh, now you're making ME blush. Your opinion matters to me, too. You noticing my stories, when you wrote my favorites in my newcomer days....squee!
And it deserves the love, because your fluttercord is LEGIT! In every way! It would only be more legit if it were canon! But it's as legit as a fic can be!
Aw, Flutters! CAN'T YOU SEE HE LOVES YOU????!!!!!
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Aww, thank you! >u<
It's nice to hear that someone else disliked the episode too. It just... it feels like they just wanted to write an episode about Discord getting jealous but didn't put any actual care into the characterization.
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Well, we already know that Discord and Fluttershy love each other. They can't make it TOO obvious~
Eeeeeee. I love Fluttercord.
Very sweet AND well characterized! I've gotten critical comments for portraying Discord and Fluttershy as a couple in several of my stories, even though it these cases it was not the central (or even a peripheral) theme of the story. It just seemed obvious to me that the two of them weren't likely to challenge the other with expectations beyond their innate capabilities, and their strengths perfectly make up for the the other's blind spots.
In general I don't fancy shipping stories. But this was indeed very well done!
I like chapter 2, I think it added something that the story needed. It wasn't so much her confession as the extra time they spent together.
BABIES!!!!!!!!
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Thank you! ;////; That fact that people like it when I didn't expect them to helps a lot.
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Aaahhhhh, thanks a bunch!
I'm so glad people like it!
I suppose that's my style in a way; I don't always go for a strict confession or I flitter about for a while first. I'm glad people like that too.
Okay, this needs to be said and I'll say it now. Every author improves in some way or another, especially when it comes to Discord and his characterization.
I love More than Trust and Less than Chaotic. I've read them countless times and I will no doubt do so again. However...
I think you write him even better than you used to. The fact that An Apple a Day... is still pretty high up on the featured chart for the third or fourth consecutive day in a row is evidence of that, but furthermore, this Discord is a lot quirkier and trickier, in my opinion, than he was in your earlier works.
This is not to say that he wasn't like that at all in the aforementioned stories. As I've said before, I still love More than Trust and the sequel.
But HOT DANG, GIRL. I can't get enough of your writing, and you're making me love it more and more the more you write, and I'm having trouble deciding what's gonna end up being my most favorite story of yours. You keep improving when it was already pretty awesome, and I just love seeing all this from you. I'm so glad you're writing again.
I loved all of Discord's little jokes and tricks, like the whole 'condo' joke and living on Fluttershy's head, and his fight with the squirrels.
The nickname thing was hilarious too, as was his whole 'apparently, you can't own a mane that's on somepony's head already!' and then going on a rant about it without even realizing that Fluttershy is occupied in her own mind.
Also laughed at the whole 'visiting another dimension' joke every time she got into her own thoughts. Nice little reference there with Discord and his magical abilities! Very clever.
But the best part of all was how you got Fluttershy to realize what 'flutterientation' meant, and how she tried telling him. Not only was it incredibly adorable, but you used a nickname to get her to figure it out on her own without any real substantial help from anyone. 'Flutternutter'. And because lots of people give Fluttershy nicknames like that --Flutter-nutter, Shutterfly, Flutter-butter, Flutterbuddy -- I personally didn't see the realization coming when he brought that up. So it was a surprise that THAT was the trigger, and I found it really clever of you!
And of course, the kiss was adorable, and how Discord baited her into doing it (but she totally wanted to, obviously, so perhaps 'baited' has too much a negative connotation to it...). Oh, Discord, you tease! I love him. He's so in character, and so is Fluttershy, and you just...you keep this up, and I think fluttercord fans will start raving about your work on other websites, other places, errywhere! think you should be famous in the fluttercord fan network!
Yes yes yes ALL OF MY YES!!!!!!!
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THAT'S IT.
YOU DID IT.
I'M SHAKING AND CRYING HAPPILY IN REAL LIFE RIGHT NOW.
I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY BECAUSE I'M JUST... OH MY GOSH. YOUR FRIENDSHIP IS TRULY MAGIC.
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IF IT'S JOYFUL TEARS THEN I'LL TAKE IT!!!!!!!!!!
And it takes two to tango, friendo! There's magic in both parties involved!!!
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AHHHH D////:
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Oh, I didn't realize you'd written the Disco/Flutterbat one, too. I still gotta go read that. I'm jealous that you got to the idea before it dawned on me!
So my one other piece of potential critique here is that I felt like both chapters had a few moments of Alien Shipping Syndrome. Now I don't mention that to dump on you in any way. But there are some moments where they (and especially Fluttershy) suddenly realize they'd been (physically) feeling some physical manifestation of their nerves and/or excitement about the other person, and it comes as a surprise to them when they "suddenly" realize they'd been feeling it all along. IMO it makes sense for emotional feelings to take time to understand, but the physical feelings would make more sense being immediate.
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I suppose I shouldn't really be surprised. I'm not good at conveying... well, anything, really.
I appreciate the critique! Sorry if you were disappointed...
7907063 Oh no. No no no. No disappointment here, and I think you did a fine job of conveying the characters' thoughts and feelings. I just wanted to provide some feedback about a technical aspect of the delivery. The hope is that it'll just help make the next one even better.
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I'm sorry. I guess it really was just a matter of my emotions toward the episode this fic follows overtaking things and screwing it up, which consequently led to that seeping into the chapter afterwards.
Though that might be giving my writing skill too much credit by blaming it on emotions instead. You'll probably feel similarly if/when you read An Apple a Night.
Under her feet and down the street to look for interesting people to meet. Across the square and over there, without a worry or a care. Over a mile, there's no denial, it'll keep on going for quite a while.
KEEP IT GOING!
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IT'LL GO ALL THE WAY AROUND THE WORLD AND MAKE ITS WAY BACK TO HER EVENTUALLY.
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...I do believe you missed the trick, old bean. I was intentionally internally rhyming each sentence and had hoped others could come up with similar, silly soliloquies. A for effort, though.
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I planned on re-replaying later since I was just too tired when I read that.
Sorry I'm a massive idiot haha.
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Up the back of an old haystack, it rolled along with simple knack. Over trees and under bees, it rolled along as slick as grease. Into bins and through broke tins, it tumbled and fell making great dins. It rolled into houses, frightening spouses, and scaring the crap out of little mouses.
Carry on...
Well, I was going to say "And then they kissed", but...
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Yeah, I ship it.
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Just missed that train, I suppose.
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I-it's not like I like her or anything, b-baka!
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Wait, Tater's a girl?!
Well, that was unexpected, I'll admit...
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The greatest plot twist.
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Indeed! I'm still trying to wrsp my mind around it...
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Too sweet and adorable!
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Is there really such a thing?
Yeah, sometimes even Hasbro's cartoon division screws up.
Example: nopony believed Twilight in A Canterlot Wedding, because she seemed 'clingy' and 'possessive' of her brother. This is despite Lesson Zero, where Twilight DID have a mental breakdown due to a silly reason, and her friends supposedly 'learned' not to dismiss Twilight's fears. For buck's sake, this is even highlighted in the second part; Chrysalis (or 'Changeling Queen', as she's not named until later) points out that things wouldn't have gone so badly if the others HAD believed their purple friend!
Or heck, despite Rainbow Dash being the personification (ponyification?) of Loyalty, she did not remain loyal to Twilight, one of her best friends, in ACW. Instead, Rainbow switched her loyalty to Chrysalis!Mi Amore Cadenza, who she just met! Oooops.
Then there's the beginning of the series - Dragonshy. Rainbow Dash continuously insults Fluttershy for being a coward, and for not being much of a flyer. This is later contradicted by Call of the Cutie, where it's shown that Rainbow and Fluttershy went to the same Flying Academy, where Dash stood up to Fluttershy's bullies, and thus the blue mare would know how sensitive the yellow mare is about her sub-standard flying ability.
Sure, this is an example of 'later canon screwing up previous events', but still a major 'oops' on the cartoon division's part.
Or how about One Bad Apple? Why didn't Applejack tell the CMC about Babs Seed's history with bullying, over her blank flank? Why didn't Applejack intervene when Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon turned up? The farm mare was standing right there! Then there's another example of
'later canon screwing up previous events': the CMC threaten to tell Diamond's mother about her poor behaviour. However, in Crusaders of the Lost Mark, it's shown that Diamond's mother, Spoiled Rich, is where the filly got her stuck-up attitude from in the first place. So why would "telling her mother" scare Diamond at all? Oops.
For buck's sake, the entire episode could've been avoided if Applejack had informed her younger sister about why Babs had arrived. Stupid writers.
So yeah, the writers behind the show aren't perfect - they do tend to forget past 'lessons' and events, or do something then explain another thing that bucks up the first thing they did, or just cause out-of-nowhere OoC moments.
AHHHH POKÉMON REFERENCE AHHHHH
Yes! You have just pleased me greatly! Pokémon Pearl was my first videogame, and although the last six main series games have disappointed me to various degrees (XY are downright horrible, ORAS has a couple of issues though some remain from XY, and SM's better but barely fix any of the issues I had with XYORAS in addition to adding a couple more flaws), I still ADORE the series.
I just want another Ranger game...or another Mystery Dungeon that rivals Explorers of Sky in terms of 'fantasticalness' (story, features available, same mechanics, Wonder Mail that actually can be generated using an online tool, etc.). Or another Shadow Pokémon game, since only the 'Orre branch' of Cipher was eliminated (it was mentioned that Cipher had bases in other regions, yet...nothing has been mentioned since 2005). Or a way to play Pokémon on the big screen - perhaps the Switch could have a couple of games? Anyway...
AHHHHH POKÉMON REFERENCE AHHHHH
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I try not to blame them, because I do understand that not every writer can keep track of every episode, but sometimes it feels like they write episodes just to write episodes, and not because they care deeply about the story they're writing.
As an example, here, they wanted to write a Discord episode where he got jealous of Fluttershy's friend, completely ignoring the fact that Fluttershy would understand how he feels and reassure him before it could escalate, and NOT be so shallow as to tell Tree Hugger (who she hasn't known as long) the exact same sweet that she'd told Discord not even that long ago.
Excellent story. You really need to change your user name to Gifted Pony.
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Aaaa, thank you!
Haha flutternutter :)
Great story and good points about characterization
This is just so painfully sweet. I cannot put into words how much I like this; it's really well done
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Aww, thank you so much! Lots of sweet is my speciality, so I'm glad you feel that way!