(alternate ending of 28 Pranks Later; technically a(n unofficial) sequel to Let's Talk)
At the time, it seemed like a great idea; seemed like the perfect way to teach Rainbow Dash a lesson. With a racing heart and rising guilt, surely she would up and learn her lesson. It's a totally understandable situation, isn't it?
But when things go south, maybe it'd be better to lie and say nothing at all. Still, what happens when Rainbow finds out?
Featured on 6/11/17 for some reason; honestly don't know why.
Chapters (9)
That's an abrupt ending. The story seems to just stop. I was enjoying it, now I am left thinking "That's it? But what happens next?"
8224978
That's a little of the intention. It's meant to kind of leave off a little bittersweet. Not everything is 100% okay yet, but pieces are falling into place and you're left thinking a little bit.
In fact, this had been my original plan on how to end the story from the very beginning; that idea never changed. I'm sorry if it ruined your experience or anything though!
This is a really cute, but sad story and I love it!!
I love how you thought of this.
This is really creative!!
The ending does seem to stop all of a sudden, but it is one of the things that makes this story.. Well... This story. And I love it.
It's a nice take on the alternate ending, good job.
8225163
Aww, thank you so much! This story idea was in the works for a while so I'm glad it's loved so far!
8225279
Thank you!
Pretty good. In my opinion, it addressed the issues of Mare Do Well and 28 Pranks Later. Instead of using Rainbow as a means of getting your opinions out, you had Soarin as the neutral party. A mediator of some sort. Accusation fics are guilty of authors using ponies as a means of getting their opinions out. Stories like those end up really bad most of the time, but you avoided that. Well done.
There are some other issues though. I did spot some run-on sentences and the ending of the story wasn't good. But overall, not bad.
8225136
I wouldn't go so far as to say it ruined it. Like I said, I still enjoyed the story.
8225496
Glad you enjoyed it!
8225478
That's what I do try to do in my stories; I've seen a lot of accusation stories and I think the problem with a lot of them is that, like you said, they just want to get their opinion out. Instead of using it as a means to improve the story, they convolute a lot of things so everything can be addressed.
What I attempted to do was not really make anyone seem like the bad guy. I mean, that's difficult because I really hate 28 Pranks Later and what happened there, but it's not that I think the mane 5 are terrible ponies, hence why Rainbow Dash just forgave them immediately. It was an extreme failure at communication that did them in, which is also why the "theme" here is that no one really "gets" Rainbow Dash.
I'm sorry that you didn't like the ending. I'm an awful writer. I try my best; it just doesn't work out.
8225505
You've made successful stories in the past. I just started to learn how to write as well. I've posted two stores on this site, but I read a lot of books first and practiced my writing. What I can say is this, go to The Writer's Group on this site. Trust me, you will learn a lot. Also, read books. Not fanfiction, just normal novels. I'm planning on writing a crossover fic between Star Wars and MLP with Lyra Heartstrings as a Jedi and the main protagonist. I'm reading a lot of Star Wars novels right now to get a glimpse on how to write the story.
There is one book that I can recommend you. Stephen King's book, On Writing An excellent guide to the craft that I highly recommend. Now don't say that you don't need to read these books. I'm taking on writing as a hobby and I read plenty of books to learn. The key to creative writing is to read books. You will learn how to write when you see authors do it.
Just because I did not like the ending, doesn't mean the story was bad. Also, don't use adverbs in stories. Use them occasionally, but not much (see what I did there). That is one lesson I learned from Stephen King's book.
8225522
Haha, I'm a terrible person. I can't really read books; my focus goes out the window. That's why most of my stories are less than 10,000 words.
I dunno, I always post a story and then immediately regret doing so. I expect like, one hour to three days to pass and I'll revoke this.
8225649
Is there a reason you can't read books? I felt the same way until I stepped away from the internet and video games for a while. You don't have to read much, just read thirty minutes a day. That is a reasonable goal. The book I recommended will be worthwhile.
Also, I have another link here I like to show you. Someone posted this writing guide a long time ago on FimFiction. It's worth reading.
It also doesn't hurt to reread your story before posting it on this site. See if you can catch your own mistakes and fix anything you see fit.
8225794
I just gave you the reason; I have a form of ADHD; I lack the focus necessary.
Not that it would matter if I had it anyway since I'm awful at retaining information.
Also, I reread my own story like twelve times AND had someone else proofread it for me. Look, it's fine whatever, I'm just... I'll take it down. If it's not perfect, it's not good enough, like I'm not...
8226002
Please don't beat yourself over this. I understand why now. Don't delete this story, it is fine. Just leave it be. Have something to look back to when you are writing more stories. Stay positive, learn and be happy at what you create.
AAAAAAAAAAAH!
👌
PERFECTION IS IN THIS STORY!!
yeah it's me again... I was reading this story over and over again cuz it's so amazing!
I just.... Odndhfhevdtehdidgsgskskutttiloveitbdjdbcgdbskdnfhfufbfh
I love it!!
8232070
Aww, thank you!
IM SCREAMING I LOVE THIS OH MY GOD YOUR NAME SHOULD BE TheTalented*Pony
GASP GASP GASP AAAAAHHHHHH IM FUCKING SCREAMING IM LITERALLY SCREAM OMG CALM DOWN FUCCCCCC
Aw that was beautiful
Anyways
I think it’s “wasn’t he”
Idk why I’m laughibg fuck I shouldn’t have laughed
W-whAT? tHATS IT??????
8457844
AAAAA, THANK YOU!!
8457880
I'll fix! Thank you!
Reading many soarin dash stories this is one that made me smile and take time out to read well done!
How interesting would it be if after the climax of ''28 Pranks Later'', Rainbow developed Iridophobia; 'Fear of Rainbows', because of the rainbow coloring from the cookies?
8551511
Oooo, that would definitely be interesting!
Poor mare. She'd have to dye her hair and everything. *shudders*
Wut?
Yay!
I am the waitress..
As that scene happens the reader notices fanfillying in the background.
After that scene they haul a coffin out the door.
A really good leader always suport honesty. Isn't it Celestia?
I'm agree with RMP.
Oh! And I love how you put Tank like a Soarindash shiper~
Wow. Just wow.
8761771
Tank has a detachable propeller on his back built so he and Dash can fly together.
8845732
Oh yes. Tank is a 100% shipper between Rainbow Dash and whoever he deems "worthy."
8846321
A good "wow" I hope?
8500061
Why thank you!
8232070
Wow, I was very extreme a few months ago
I'm happy to stumble across this story once again! It's very original and well- written. I still love it as much as when I did in these comments.
8225163
8232070
But I agree with my past self. Perfection IS in this story! Good job!
8940964
Ahhh, thanks! I'm glad this has some rereadability!
I'm embarrassed by some of my past stories too, so don't feel weird about spazzing or anything!
8945938
Do you have a link to it?
I may or may not have cheered loudly when Dash choose to visit Soarin. I've been craving a story where Dash leaves Ponyville after an altercation, for some time now and this story is holding up really well so far. Nice job!
Great chapter! Some good quality Soarindash is always welcome in this household 👌
I'm really loving this Soarindash in this fic. It just feels super organic and real which I'm super fond of. Reading the cute fluff between them really puts a smile on my face. This fic is fantastic!
9143309
Oh yeah, I feel like that's a story plot point that's criminally underused, y'know? Thanks!
9143320
Thank you! We very much appreciate Soarindash here. 👌
9143340
Wow, thanks! Being organic when it comes to shipping is really important to me, so I'm glad it came through!
Don't we all?
Soarin in that moment: (go to 0:23 to hear the quote. And it ends as 0:38)
https://m.