• Member Since 20th Jul, 2014
  • offline last seen Feb 6th, 2021

Chlouide


Comments ( 47 )

AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

I LOVE IT I FUCKING LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!

I like this villain. Consider this story tracked for now... But know that more to come shall gain a favorite from me, the Warmaster of Chaos, and Recent Void Dweller, Ahzek Ahriman!


I've got to stop getting into character like that.

Nice story so far.:pinkiesmile: Not any real big grammar or spelling issues which is always welcome. The pacing is good so far, unlike from most new writers. keep it up!

I have a few concerns about the story though.
Firstly the insanity from the void didn't fell as traumatic as the author notes and later plot may imply. as it was in the actual story...

Just black. And in a flash of white, I was surrounded by purple. I had this tingling feeling that I wasn’t suppose to see this, I felt something claw in the back of my mind. And just how it appeared, it disappeared in a flash of light and I found myself hitting the ground hard. My last thought being, Damn you inertia!

Besides the clawing at the mind. The void's three color changes just doesn't say unknowable or mind altering to me ,unless the character just so happens to suffer very acute epilepsy or that was only what he can clearly describe/remember.
2. I'm not a League of Legends player as can be a little hard to get into if not already in massive multiplayer action stuff. So I would appreciate at very least Julian's reasons to go as Veigar and in that particular skin. Like any good stories playing as him / any previous online role play experience but more gentlemanly or himself than the actual champion?
C. Maybe it is just me but when I read the title and saw the picture together I thought; "The power ponies eventually stop this villain from tying some mare on the train tracks like in that old cowboy cliche :raritycry::pinkiecrazy:". Yet not an impossible later in the story right?:ajsmug:

Lastly... HOW DARE YOU LEAVE THE STORY WITH SUCH A VITAL CLIFF HANGER UNANSWERED !!! KNOW WHY THE THE COMMENT IS MORE? IT'S BECAUSE WE'RE NEED TO KNOW IF VEIGAR HAS HIS GLORIOUS MUSTACHE :moustache: DESPITE JUILIAN'S IGNORANCE OF HOW :moustache: MAGNIFICENT :moustache: MANLY :moustache: POWEFULL :moustache::trixieshiftleft: A WELL TENDED AND GROOMED MUSTACHE CAN BE. IS THAT WHY CELESTIA ATTACKED OUR HERO, SHE NEVER SAW A MUSTACHE :moustache:OF THAT MAGNITUDE:moustache: AND FELT THREATENED BY IT ? OR BY SOME HORRIBLE MISFORTUNE THE MUSTACHE IS LEFT UN-GROWN :raritydespair::pinkiegasp::fluttercry::ajsleepy::rainbowderp::facehoof: AND WE MUST WAIT A THOUSAND YEARS TO SEE SUCH PERFECTION AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
In all seriousness I, and all those who like well placed and cared facial hair, would like to know. Also ,a some bits of friendly advice though I'm not a writer just a reader, still try to improve without sacrificing what you got going for you. seen quite a few fics start with 10,000 word chapters and quickly peter down out by new writers rushing and i think not planing ahead.And have fun.

Actual Lastly, have great day any one who read through all of this long comment:pinkiehappy:.

7390817
Hello good sir!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just got out of my class, yes I am a nerd on purpose, and I decided "I'm going to read some stuff!" I come online and see the bell with a boxed one, "must be about my story, probably some reader/reviewer," low and behold my psychic prowess never ceases to fail me!

In regards to some of you points, ALL SHALL BE REVEALED IN TIME¡¡¡¡¡

But seriously there will be interludes and quirky stuff in between chapters when I get bored and stuffs. Not to mention I've been more of a beard person than a moustache person.

In regards to chapter lengths, I just go with the flow. If I did a 10,000 word chapter I would run into writer's block because I can only transition so much and write about one thing for so long. 10,000 is a goal, but I like my cliff hangers and short chapters, less arc/plot stuff to remember. I can just look at the title remember what happened and then next chapter comes out with hopefully no plot holes. Also, editing would be a PAIN! Anyway thank you for reading good sir, may you live a relatively good life.

Looking good so far, no grammatical errors (always a plus) let's see where this goes.

As an avid league junkie I have one thing to say...Tristana is better! (Fight me). Veigar is absolutely bat shit and it is beautiful! Keep it up, I hope for a crossover someday.

the whispiest of winds XD

more please! i beg of thee!

The story is interesting, thus far... Although, how Highwind is a military officer, I can only guess is through Nepotism...

Murphy needs to sit down right now.

7391757 there are quite a few grammatical errors. They are small, easily fixed errors, but they're errors nonetheless. The frequency of the errors are within an acceptable range considering that this is a fanfiction.

Always outnumbered, never outgunned.

awesome chapter! am i the only one who read Scorpan's lines with a scottish accent?

Wait I'm so confused bid he defeated Luna and celestia and triek then why celestia lives ?

7590470 He didn't kill them. He killed Tirek, sure, but Luna and Celestia were ignored.

Didn't think I'd like this.
Didn't even know who this guy was.

I'm liking it anyway

This story is pretty good so far, keep up the good work.

Either Veigar is too strong or Celestia is pathetically weak, either way her arrogance got the best of her.

Celestia is quite the Knight Templar.

IT LIVES! Seriously it’s really awesome to see this story updated again.

Twilight, Veigar has shown you mercy. Don't spit on it for he will carry it out. Once again, Celestia has shown how pathetic she truly is due to her holding herself back.

Once again Veigar swatted Celestia like a annoying fly. That's certainly got to hurt the pride.

And now we have Celebitch! And if you say that Luna is on the same level as Celebitch, then you got it wrong, because Luna was protecting her sister from the 'maniac that took the stars from her perfect night'.

From your "short" intro: " Slowly going mad after accidentally witnessing the void itself Julian slowly goes mad."

Ya only need ONE slowly going/goes mad! :pinkiehappy:

“If it wasn’t for him, I wouldn’t have felt so powerless all those years ago. I wouldn’t have turned into Nightmare Moon.”

I call bull shit she would have died from terek if it wasn't for him and even if she survived then she would have still felt week because of the destruction. Hes kinda like a living kamikaze (the storm) a force of pure destruction that saved them and destroyed their enemies while not doing it out of benevolence but just because that's what they do.

You know what they say, it only need a short moment to get you into trouble.

It only takes a few short steps to fall off the edge of sanity

Hope Veigar finds some time for a short break.

If only the princesses knew that their efforts to stop Veigar would be cut short eventually...

Seems like Veigar's imprisonment was quite short for what they intended.

Guess that encounter and meet-again was short-lived

From first looks. He looks adorably evil

Oh, I like this. I sadly wish I read this before I started writing my own story

Greatest fanfiction ever to exist! Hope you can make the final part of this story!

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