Savy
Deep in the wood of vietnom a man and another man walk through with one gun raised, ready to kill the russians who are hunting them with their guns! Savy, the man with the beard and huge musular arms, carrys a scythe with him as a weppon.
They are hunting for food and russians… what ever comes first.
“Where do you think the wolfs all went?” asked Savys friends, cristal, who was a girl and two different colored eyes sinse birth.
“I don’t know… They were all around here last week!” Savy was getting very mad that they have seen only 2 russians on there way here, but no wolfs or deer to eat! Savy didn’t want to eat human sinse that was against his military code of honor. If the Russians even folowed those basic rules of war… Savy and Mistal didn’t know. But they were never going to stoop down to their awful lebvel of Russian’s
Listal heard a sound coming from the right! And the both ducked down and waited for a wolf to be seen by them.
It was a wolf the came out of the buff and attacked Savy. Savy thrusted at the wolf with his scythe but the wolf endured the stab wound and kept attacking him.
Savy throat was soon ripped out and Cristal was next before she could even shoot it, it was ontop of her!
She managed to shoot it but the russians heard it all and came out after her. She had to pick up Savy and run as fast as she could into the forstest of woods. So as she ran she was shot two times in the leg and died with blood out of her blue eye.
Not the brown one
--------
They both woke up in equestria suronded by tall trees and cages. But they were not in
“Where are we do you think?” asked Savy?
“It looks like that show we used to watch together as kids! Remember that great show? What was it called again?” Cristal oput her hand to her chi and thought for a very long time.
“I do not remember what you are talking about but maybe later you or maybe even I will remember. Right now though we have to get going and find out where we are in the land!” Savy got up and looked around
Suddenly a loud noice was screaming from behind a tree and it was very ear hurting. Soup and Cirstal ran over to the noice and saw a hurt little pony. It was a baby even!
It leg was bleeding and it was crying.
“It looks like someone was hunting these animals?” Savy say
“I don’t really care, they didn’t finish the job, so let’s just eat it!”
“NO DON’T EAT ME I AM A REAL PONY DON’T EAT ME PLEASE!!!”
They both jump back in fear and almost ran away when the pony spoke up. It was crying so hard in the face now the Savy was starting to feel bad.
“What happened to you?” Savy asked
“I human came to Eqestria a few months ago and took it all over with LUna!” “His name was Makarov and he killed and kills anyone who is against him!”
“Thank you for telling us.” Savy said with a tear running down his check. “But it looks like you’re not going to make it little one”
Cristal was so sad and mad that she had to look away.
“Please make my pain in the stop.” the foal asked Savy who was now the sadest man in the world
Without another word, Savy thrusted his scythe at the foals head and stabed his head, killing his instantly.
“It is over” Savy said to Cristal and was no walking to kill Makarov
“Let me join you!”
They joked around for a long time while they walked down the road.
--------
Luna was looking out a big window because she was in her castel and things are always bigger in a castel because that’s the way she liked them.
“Do you think that the pofecy will come true Makarov?”
Makarov shook his one finger disappointingly. “No humans will ever stop us we will bring life back to the land and truly make it great again”
“But is kicking out all the pegasi the right idea? I mean, they have helped Equestria before, but I can’t see why they were needed to be massicered.”
“I had an infomant tell me that that they were all planing to take you and me down Luna” Makarov was good with his word telling to the point that Luna was in the clear mind
“Even the foals had to die?”
“They were to be used in their twisted training programs to attacking unicorns and earths. It is good we ended all of them”
Twilight came into the room, she had a eye patch and no leg on her eye. “It is almost in the done, Luna.”
“Soon we will kill the last of the pegsi in the town square.” Twilight said. A tear ran down her one good eye because the other one had no eye.
She remembered how she had to take down Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash and kill them because of the word of Luna and Makarov after they killed Celstia. She didn’t want to do it, but she was only following orders.
She was going to exicute rainbow sash today in the last exicutions.
“Better get to it then, Twilight” makarov said with a large mild smile.
“Yes yes<” say Luna. “Get to it?”
Twilight left to kill her best friends.
------
1 HOUR LATER
Luna looked outside and saw two armed humans walking towards the castle.
“Makarov! The proficy is the truth, they are here to stop us from getting peace in the land!”
Makarov out the window from his sitting possition and looked outside with large eyes scanning. After a little bit he pulled out a colt .44 and walked towards the door.
Luna watched him. “WHERE ARE YOU GOING!?!?!???”
He stopped and turned only his head a little bit around. “To stop the pofecy,” he then cocked his AK 47 and left the room.
thank you for reading more coming soon.
No hate please! 
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i would like to thank my readers for giving this a like thank you!
aslo the smae rules apply here. you get blocked if you give bad critisem!
thank you for understanding!
this is a safe space!!!!!!
NO HATE PLEASE
This is the best story I've ever read.
7315861
thank you for saying kind words to me. this is why i like it here on fimfiction and not other sites that try to make fun of me
7315890
these are the type of things i like to see
VOTE HILARY
7315913
THIS IS A SAFE SPACE YOU WILL NOT BE ALLOWED TO POST TRUMP OR HUITLER BECAUSE OF MY PTSD
The idea of the story is really nice, but I really think you need an editor. Other than bad spelling/grammar, I like the story idea.
5/10
7315938
more trolls
*Sigh*
You know deleting comments only shows your inability to grow from criticism?
7315954
if they are not ging to give me ACTUAL CRITIEM then they can go away
7315958 As harsh as it may seem, there is truth in their words, my man. Even your responses are less than adequate.
You should take the negative criticism and work towards improving, forgo this safe space idea and let the comments flow.
the user name MythrilMoth is tryed to harrass me. it nice to see people giving me NICE comments but people like this will not be here
sorry!
STOP REPOSTING WHAT MythrilMoth SAID. HE IS A TROLL
NOTHING MORE
THANK YOU!
7315986
if you want to edit for me please sned me a pm so i can send you my newest story!
7315983 How mature. "I don't like what they said, DELETE!"
You could do well if you read some of the comments. Try it?
7315988 What about the other 10 train wrecks in your story section?
7315990
no
7315990
As I once wrote in a news article, "Criticism is an author's single greatest resource, for it allows him to see his own work in perspectives that he never thought existed."
7315993
i only try to block the haters and look at the futur. now if you think the stroy is THAT BAD tell me 5 reasones why
7315995 Disliking and deleting peoples comments doesn't take away from their truthfulness.
I am not an edit, and I don't claim to be, but I know story and yours needs help. All 10 of them. If you are willing to hear and consider criticism, I can help you.
7316002
yes
7315996 That's true across all jobs. Criticism is invaluable.
And news article? Hats off to you sir for your media work.
7315999 Only 5? That's too small. Your story has all the hallmarks of top 10 nono's
7316012
then tell me because i think you have not read the story
7316007 You will let me help you?
7316015
yes
Right umm as a professor from the School For New Writers it is my sacred duty to umm ask is English not your first language and if English IS your first language can you umm get an editor? So far this story is all over the place, the plot is cliche as hell but that's fine. my main problem comes from the grammar and language used.
This is supposed to be prophesy
Russians should be capitalized, Savy if it's a name is fine but you need an apostrophe before the "s", cristal should be Crystal since it's a name, and Since not sinse.
That's only some of the mistakes, their are alot and I suggest you get a prereader and an editor to look at your work before posting it, I'm not insulting you and I think you could become a good if not great writer if you put in the work.
Here are some resources that you can use to improve your writing.
Looking For Editors
(For an Editor)
School for New Writers
(For friendly Tips, remember that only professors can post their own threads but you can comment in any thread that's open)
The Shameless Self-Promotion Bureau
(For shameless self promotion)
7316014
7316017
We'll get to your story in a moment, first I want to address this comment deleting, because much like Chicago Ted said, we grow from criticism and any good author must be able to see it and accept it, not accept what is said, but that it has been said about your work.
This is my first step, will you accept criticism on this?
7316014 also you should never censor someone's comments because they disagree with you, that discourages criticism and makes people weary to read more of your work.
7316023
i will but can you send it through pm because people on this story are hating me for nothing
7316021
i dont get it. you only say the problem is ONE spelling mistake and a missing '???
that is no reason to hate a story
7316027 Nope, the criticism for the time being will be in the comments. The reason is because you can delete comments and it will be publicly apparent. A PM can be ignored and deleted in silence.
Plus, this way other authors and story techs can chime in.
Now, will you accept criticism so you can grow as an author?
7316031 three things
1: I never said I hated the story.
2: It has more than ONE spelling mistake, if you put it in Microsoft word you'd see a ton of them, the grammar isn't that good either and both of those can be fixed with an editor.
3: People are "hating you" because you delete their comments because they "Hurt your feelings" if someone disagrees with an opinion you shouldn't silence them with censorship you should either debate them or just ignore them.
7316035
if i let you will you look at my new story?
7316039 RRRight >.>
This must be the other half of the trouble. Do you not see the issue with this story?
7316045
agian with the harassment MythrilMoth.
7316045 This man knows whats up give him a coat!
cdn.meme.am/instances/500x/56654638.jpg
7316049 He's not harrassing you he's pointing out that there is a difference between Hate and Criticism
7316049 I'm not harassing you. I'm trying to show you how self-destructive your behavior here is. Writers who delete comments wholesale because "you were all mean to me" get a BAD REPUTATION on this website.
Whatever advice your friend is giving you about "trolls" and "8chan" and whatever, I promise you, he isn't helping you. He's making things worse. Nobody here is bullying you. Nobody here is being mean to you. They're trying to make you understand that if you want to post stories on FiMF, you need to be willing to accept criticism. They're trying to make you understand that deleting comments you don't like isn't acceptable.
This is the last comment I'm posting, because I have better things to do with my afternoon than argue with a brick wall, but I hope, this one time, something I have said will stick and you will think long and hard about what it is you hope to gain by posting stories here.