• Member Since 6th Jul, 2014
  • offline last seen Apr 2nd, 2019

Windlife


This Stage is Beneath My Talent, But I Shall Elevate it.

T

(This is about my OC Demon Bash.)

With the return of an ancient Alicorn, the main 6 must struggle with the fact that Celestia has lied to them all about the true past of Equestria. Soon, a rebellion is put into full effect. Will have human loving Lyra later.

I ask that you don't put anything negative in the comments. Only positive comments please. Also, don't ADD THIS TO ANY GROUPS WITHOUT TALKING TO ME FIRST.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 446 )

No negative comments, or you'll be deleted and blocked.

Comment posted by Kaneki_Ken-Ryu deleted Sep 24th, 2014
Snuggly #3 · Sep 24th, 2014 · · 9 ·

5050201 Only positive comments?

Your traditional troll tactics are very well executed :)

10 out of 10 will upvote again :)

5050220 I think he's talking about your comment.

5050229
Thank you for the heads up. He's been deleted.

Comment posted by Winter Storm deleted Sep 24th, 2014
Snuggly #7 · Sep 24th, 2014 · · 14 ·

5050234 It's just you and me against the world, homie :)

5050238
Stop trolling me.

Comment posted by Winter Storm deleted Sep 24th, 2014

Alicorn oc Oh dear. Also deleting the comments and blocking people isnt the way to deal with negative feedback. Perhaps you should take some of the advice into account. You need to ditch the Alicorn oc

Comment posted by Kaneki_Ken-Ryu deleted Sep 24th, 2014

5050252
5050253 stop harassing my homie >:(

5050252
How dare you? My OC was a pretty good idea. If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all.

Interesting. Can I ask you something?

Comment posted by mycarhasaMoustache deleted Sep 24th, 2014

5050266
Yes. Is it ideas for the rest of the story?

Comment posted by mycarhasaMoustache deleted Sep 24th, 2014

5050274
Stop harassing me.

5050277 Im not harassing you Im trying to give advice.

5050280 But his OC is good. Nothing you have to say about it has been constructive, so far.

Get rid of it isn't a reason.

Comment posted by The Guardian and Friends deleted Sep 24th, 2014

5050280
I say quit while you're ahead.

5050293 The brony community especially on here dont like Alicorn ocs and this story will be beaten into the dirt if that isnt changed. How about that?

5050297 yea Some people are just beyond help. Stupid children.

5050303
>Stupid children. :trollestia: Sure, buddy.

Comment posted by DismantledAccount deleted Sep 24th, 2014

5050271 Well. Ya. If you saw my icon. That is my Alicorn Oc Geoffrey. He is a best friend to Twilight. Here is a heads up. He is a hard pony to understand. Which means he will not listen to your oc Demon Bash until he knows the truth. Until then he is going to fight Demon Bash and his friends the elements of harmony. Geoffrey is really loyal to Celestia.

I see quite a few errors in the story so far, mostly spelling that just makes it difficult to work with. I definitely recommend giving it a once over with a prereader or something just to clean up a few of the grammatical errors.

That said, it's actually a bit difficult to make a good alicorn story, especially with all the negative stigma surrounding them and the sheer number of people that simply get angry because Alicorn OC's exist. Since the only known alicorns in the show are Celestia, Cadance, Luna and Twilight, the only safe assumption that anyone can make about Alicorns are that they are incredibly powerful.

Because of all that it is really easy to simply make an overpowered Alicorn OC if you don't invest the time to make the character interesting or give them challenges that are scaled to their level and really develop them as a living character instead of a carboard cutout. I have my own story that I still haven't made any progress on because of the initial negative reaction I had to it and the fact that I wrote the original while I was half-asleep without even having an energy drink nearby. I definitely think that going through the story to correct the grammar would be helpful in turning this into a more likeable story.

An interesting premise does nothing if the reader can't really read the story after all.

5050297 No one likes a quitter

Why was my comment deleted, fair author? Your story provoked an emotional response from me; I thought you would be pleased. Is that not what every author wants? To move his readers?

5050316
I don't care about the grammar. Please stop tlaking about it. I have ADHD

I ask that you don't put anything negative in the comments. Only positive comments please. Also, don't ADD THIS TO ANY GROUPS WITHOUT TALKING TO ME FIRST.

images.memegenerator.net/images/195x/1154115.jpg

5050338 Dude, don't be rude :/

5050338
Great, more harassment.

*Looks at OC*

The story itself, while readable at times, is more or less crazy. I have no idea what's happening or why.

5050315
I'll put your OC in it, ok.

5050340

But top hats make everything classy :fluttercry:

5050347 yes, but there's no need to be so......Assy

I WOULDL IKE TO THANK THE PEOPLE WHO READ THE STORY. PEOPLE WHO ARE MAD NEVER READ IT.

Comment posted by Favorited deleted Sep 24th, 2014

5050344 Ok. 1 more thing about Geoffrey. He never underestamate his enemy and he is a hard pony to beat because he is smart.

5050355 get blocked :)

5050341
Truthfully, a large portion of this "harassment" was brought upon you by none other than you.

5050357 but i luv u:applecry:

5050360 this is the way it has to be :,3

5050359
I dont know why people are hating on me. i guess they are jealous.

Comment posted by Asashi - Dark Fist Inari deleted Sep 24th, 2014
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