Big Sis Doesn't Understand

by silvadel

For Fluttershy

Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash had just left, and I sat alone, staring at the hairpiece that I had created. "Just like it's supposed to," as Dash had provided. Yes, one little montage and everything was fine. I'd be expected to style fifty-thousand manes, and then what?

I sighed, and pulled a quill and paper from the desk. She deserved this much.

"Big Sis,

I appreciate what you and your friends tried to do. I really do, but you don't understand the problem. You say you can take one step, then walk, then run, then fly.

That first step is actually quite easy. I have taken the first step many times in life. I have taken several steps, but...

Let's begin with those jobs you tried to have me do. You tried to find jobs that any pony could do. I can't understand how any pony wouldn't get horribly bored trying to dye rolls of fabric. It is the same with washing windows, and I won't even go into what Rainbows wanted me to spend all day doing. Did you really think I could soar in the sky doing that kind of thing every single day?

You keep telling me I am smart and talented, and that is what you see in my future. Saying that I could do anything if I just tried is just a flight of fancy, and a sugar-coated lie. It was also cruel, even if I know you didn't mean it.

You saw the hairpiece I made. Do you really think I could have done that if I had no training in manestyling? The class was only a few weeks long. Even I can last a few weeks.

It isn't fear of failure. It is more a fear of success. Yes, you read that right, fear of success. I just couldn't take one more day of doing the same thing all the time. Mare walks in. She chooses a simple flower braid. She is the tenth mare that week who wanted a flower braid. I gave one pony a similar manestyle to Cloudchaser, and I was fired.

I knew I was going to be fired. I chose to be fired.

I am envious of the lot of you, well maybe not Applejack. Let's take Rainbows. She really enjoys flying. I mean REALLY enjoys it, and you know what? She is supremely talented at what she does. She also has a cutie mark in it. In your own ways, each of you are very special ponies.

You can talk about flying into the stratosphere, but the stratosphere is really really high, and very few ponies can occupy it.

Most ponies settle. They don't have the skills, the talent, the temperament, and the opportunity to soar.

I applaud you and your friends for not having to settle, but most ponies drudge out their days doing a job that while it needs doing, isn't very intellectually stimulating, and doesn't make much of a difference in the big picture.

Some have a cutie mark that helps ease their lives of quiet desperation. Very few ponies can be truly unhappy doing what their mark asks of them.

While ma and pa were very permissive, and unwittingly fostered the situation I find myself in, I suppose I only have myself to blame. I thought of things too philosophically, and drank too deeply from the cup of introspection.

I floated from task to task like a feather on the wind, and things never came into focus. The deal was sealed when I got my cutie mark. Now I don't blame the mark itself. If it wasn't a good representation of myself then I never could have earned it.

I observed other ponies, compared myself, and found myself wanting. Nothing within reach was worth doing, and nothing worth doing was within reach. So I found myself doing just that, nothing.

It is actually quite easy to do nothing. It is like doing something, but without the structure. The princesses take good care of those who are down on their luck, so at least in the cities, survival is not an issue, so I bounced from city to city. I only left when the perception of me started to go from seemingly down on my luck, to that of a worthless layabout.

You might think that I enjoy doing nothing. Nothing isn't exactly enjoyable. It might be less odious than doing something that you don't enjoy, but it creates its own set of problems. It certainly doesn't contribute to self-worth, but I abandoned any attempt at that a long time ago. It just kind of is, in the same way as the pony doing it, and as odd as it sounds, it also carries with it it's own kind of stress.

I needed a vacation from nothing, and I decided to try coming home, again. It was always easy to take advantage of our parents. A little bravado and they fall into line like a row of doormats. Whether you consider it fortunate or not, you just happened to visit at the same time. I put up as good a front as I could, but, well you saw how it worked out.

So I guess our parents can be safely taken off my extended safety net.

I don't know where to go to escape from a vacation from nothing, but that is what awaits me.

Maybe I'll see you there someday,

Zephyr."

I read the letter to myself aloud, and imagined it was Fluttershy reading it. She was sad, but not devastated in my mind's eye, so I pulled a ribbon from the desk, tied the letter neatly into a roll, then wrote Fluttershy in flowing script on the outside.

I carefully put everything back in place so, save from the letter, it looked like I was never even in the room, then I slowly climbed down the stairs, glancing at the pictures on the walls with each step I took.

"I'm off to get some milk," I lied to my parents as I walked past them and through the door.

Then I left Cloudsdale, vaguely in the direction of the Crystal Empire.

Comments

[Baritone]

I noticed one or two mistakes but I liked your take on this episode.

Thank you for the read silvadel!

[silvadel]

7278497

What were they so I can fix them? And you are welcome.

[Needling Haystacks]

I do like the point that there are no easy answers sometimes (I had this problem with other episodes, too... only Sunset Shimmer and Starlight Glimmer got extensive care, and that's because they were a threat).

The headspace is certainly understandable, though in their world I don't know how common it would be. I'm unclear whether one aspect is the genuine feelings of the author or the author being very very good at getting into the character's head: the fact that, while saying he blames himself, he doesn't quite get WHY he shouldn't be 'mooching', for lack of a better word, off his parents. He's taking advantage of them and using them to avoid moving along himself, which isn't healthy for any of them. Mind, I doubt he'd have fully realized that (and we see hints that he didn't), so in that sense it's a good bit of writing.

The gang also failed to actually consider what his real talents were: avoiding work and manipulating others. There ARE places where that is useful, and unlike in our world where arbitrary degrees often form effective barriers to entry, it would probably be feasible in equestria. Either put him in touch with flim and flam, or on a Dilbertian note, management. Middle management is all about getting people to do things they'd rather not do, or would rather do slower, largely by annoying them into it. I think he'd be good at that, and he might enjoy it.

His hairpiece at the end also wasn't very good... I don't know that that was the best of ideas, there.

I also think his explanation of not wanting to follow the crowd was meant to be viewed as an excuse, in the context of the episode.

And you know, in the case that the earlier mentioned bit was the author's own views, you don't HAVE to find fulfilment in your job. There are other things in life. Heck, in a few generations, automation may mean a like 90% unemployment rate for the simple reason that most of the human race won't NEED to work.

[The Bricklayer]

Good story, I think this is one of those episodes that prove the story is getting more adult at times while staying in family-friendly territory.

[silvadel]

7278512

As for myself, it depends on the metric. I am self-employed, but I certainly am not an Applejack when it comes to getting things accomplished, and my work is tangential to my education/skillset. So while it was somewhat easy and in some ways a little painful to put myself into the mindset of Zephyr, I have never been anywhere near as far gone as he is in the way he is -- close enough to be able to write from there though.

[Needling Haystacks]

7278540 Good to know. I was hesitant because I've seen the other side of it. A certain set of relatives had real concern that an elderly relative would be unable to support herself in her old age because of her subsidizing of one of her children, who was far too much like Zephyr. Things more or less worked out (...if someone being partially paralyzed by a stroke and going on disability can be called 'working out'), but there was a definite potential for a cascade effect of financial hardship across a large number of people.

I also thought later on one point I'd forgotten: he tried to get animals to dye cloth. It's not a great solution, but it's a creative one. An automatic cloth dyer, say driven by animals on hamster wheels, could actually work. He'd need to partner with an engineer to actually implement anything, but he has decent ideas sometimes.

I also remembered Rarity ALSO didn't want to be making the same thing over and over again... but of course, he doesn't know that (probably). Also, his original hairstyle is something I can see a punk rocker wearing, so he may well have a niche market. The problem in our world would be getting to that point, but he's got connections to a princess and a top designer, so it should be manageable.

I also thought of a more amusing way of saying the management idea: managers often have to trick or annoy people into doing things for them, though they call it "motivation". XP Do you think most employed WANT to go to motivational seminars? No, but it makes them appreciate the days they DON'T have to go to them! :P

...I'm rambling but I don't really have enough connecting ideas to make a story out of them, so I'm venting here. XP Might copy and past this stuff somewhere else later.

BTW, while I did eventually figure it out, for awhile I thought ". If it wasn't a good representation of myself then I never could have earned it." was written wrong, because on my screen there was a line divide that led to my brain skipping over part of it.

[Frankie2]

It isn't fear of failure. It is more a fear of success.

I was thinking that during the episode. BTW, what was his cutie mark? I couldn't make it out.

[silvadel]

7279261

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[Frankie2]

7279318 I can't tell if he is destined to be an author or a surfer?

[silvadel]

7279348

A feather caught in a wind gust. It is more like Zephyr is meant to drift. I guess he could write travelogues.

[deadpansnarker]

7279348 I think those two swirls are meant to represent wind, not water. And his name is 'Zephyr Breeze' which I believe is to be symbolic of the fact that he 'breezes' through life not doing very much... Not even having a shave apparently.

If it were up to me, his cutie mark would be a black sheep... Because that's what he seems to be in his family.

[Onyx Quill]

Wow. This is actually a great piece of work. I think it captures Zephyr's mindset really well.

[Revan]

A nice take on the episode.