"Magic for pegasi 101" was the result of ten years of hard research. Ponyville seemed the perfect place to teach the class. That was the plan. First snag: All the earth ponies wanted in. Then ponies from all over Equestria descended upon Ponyville for lessons. Blueblood went before Celestia demanding an end to the school. Unicorn nobles marched in protest, and Celestia had a hard decision to make. Could Equestrian society survive the transition to magic using pegasi and earth ponies?
I'm liking this story so far, I see good potential in your writing and am looking forward to new chapter from this.
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Thank You. Chapter 3 is fairly close to done, and should end up around 3300 words. I just have 2 scenes left and then editing.
Oh, If you are wondering about the back story between Misty Midnight and Fluttershy: A good while ago when I was writing fanfics in script form I wrote one called "Fluttershy gets a taste of red bull." Unfortunately it wouldn't pass muster here due to the format, but it was a good story. It is at https://docs.google.com/document/d/1COj_rmXAUfr99FArBjHkDxiQSzls0-Ou8jmHfREE0RY/edit
Congratulations, Sil. You appear to have started your project. Good luck, and have fun with it!
Oh, wow! What can I say except, you are an amazing author & I love this story!!
Seriously it's awesome, but Celestia is behaving a bit suspicisly, is there a reason for that?
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Princess Celestia and Misty essentially got off on the wrong hoof right from the start back when Misty was the first pegasus to discover how to perform magic. There was an unfortunate interrogation that gave Misty the creeps about Canterlot. It did not get any better when she found out about Fluttershy in the background story on google. Misty in Celestia's eyes is kind of a reckless influence on her society who does not think through the potential consequences of her actions enough. Not that Misty makes their relationship any better. Other ponies write friendship letters to Celestia. Misty writes that sort of thing to Luna. Misty could have tried to mend fences but never did.
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Thank you and yes I am.
It starts a bit awkwardly but the premise here is very interesting.
Looking good. I wonder what Celestia's up to... or Blueblood...
Five mustaches shall be awarded.
Very interesting concept. Shall be keeping my beady eyeballs on this.
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Yes, it was a little difficult to introduce Misty. I figured the letters would be a good way to provide some backstory before getting into the action.
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Thanks. Everyone is up to all different things. Each pony has their own point of view.
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And thank you as well. I am glad people are liking it.
Status update: Part 3 is now written -- I just need to edit it and smooth out the edges etc. If anyone wants to see it in the current state and have any input into it before it goes up, now is the time to ask.
: Call me Rainbow H. Dash
: RAINBOW!! MY WINDOW!! AND WHY THE H?
: Because glass hurt, bring me some bandages.
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It does get a little bit of a nostalgia rating. You will have to wait for part 4 to see it from the other side.
Shame on you, Celestia.
Oh, and GO SCOOTALOO!
The damage is to far spread. If Celestia ban non-unicorn magic, then the pegasus and earth ponies will protest, leading to (worst case scenario) a civil war or (best case scenario) to they holding a grudge. If Celestia ignore this new use of magic, this could become an equivalent to the industrial revolution, changing the social piramid of pony society forever, and the nobles (with are most, if not all of then, unicorns) will make sure that doesnt happen.
Realy hope Misty think a way to take a third option.
Also:"Nopony disturbs the status quo bitch!">
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Eeyup, Celestia made a major mistake in letting this go too long. There are reasons for that and everything else on both sides, a fair number of which will be revealed in part 5. Note also that Misty has even trained some pegasi from her guard as well. In addition, Scootaloo has very deep reasons to see this through.
Oh dear. I detect a poop/fan interface occuring very soon!
It'll be interesting to see what the wider effects of non-unicorns using magic will be.
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I went back and fixed errors in part 1 -- my writing has improved over the course of this and I agree that it was significantly weaker than the other segments -- Only so much I can do with a simple editing job but it is better for the time I put in.
Part five is almost half-way written.
Misty, do you have mist for brains? with every chapter she looks more like an anarchist terrorist than a revolutionary for freedom of magic.
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She was prepared for the eventuality of her capture even if her plans did not work out the way she wanted. And yes she is kind of naive at times. Note that teleportation was something she discovered and is not a part of 'Still Shadows' hence she was able to teach it to Scootaloo. Deflecting magic is part of 'Still Shadows' so she had to have Twilight show Scootaloo that because of her oath.
Misty would never knowingly hurt Equestria. She just currently has differing opinions on some things than Celestia does. The problem (and why she was not at all successful at this juncture) is what tactics can actually work when you are cross-purpose with Celestia? Obviously she didn't find the right ones. Well, in part 6 we get to see how Twilight and Rainbow Dash decide to handle this.
About the only thing that worked out here is that Scoots/Misty's Letter did manage to bring the element of loyalty around.
I love the Still Shadows development! Very nice
And Misty isn't dumb, just well prepared knowing the risk she plays with Celestibitch.
.......stuck up unicorn 'nobility' ::insertBluebloodFaceHere:: :-)
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I'm with you on this. I don't trust Misty, at all really. Could be simply a stubborn streak of mine, but - this is all terribly fishy.
Addendum: I'm not saying I'm certain she's doing this out of malicious reasons; there is, however, something strikingly prideful at best about her conduct. Pride goeth before the fall.
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Yes she does have pride -- but she is also in jail. I guess you could already say she has fallen.
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Well, yes, there's also that^^
I went back and did another edit cycle to part 2. Nothing has changed in it other than it reads better.
The fan is getting dirty...
The part 6 rough draft is now complete. It is 1:43am here so I am going to edit it tomorrow.
first :>
also i still haven't read this but i will start today methinks
How in Odin's name is this in any way a good thing? Cloudsdale is an urban utoipa in the sky. Why would you take any action that might end in pegasi living on the ground, when otherwise they might be living in the clouds? I do not understand this. I do not see how anyone could argue with the simple truth of cloud cities being infinitely better than cities on the ground.
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Sweet Luna, are you crazy? I am shocked and appalled by what I'm seeing here. Linking to TVTropes? Some unprepared soul is going to click on that link, and before the ordeal is finished the weight of their opened tabs will probably crash their computer.
THEIR TABS WILL BLOT OUT THE SUN.
Then we shall read in the shade!
And when the dust finally settles and that poor soul looks around at the dead and the dying, and at last realizes the depth of their sleep-deprivation... At that moment, I hope they curse you. I hope they curse you with every fiber of their being!
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If a pegasus uses up too much of its magic on spellcasting, not only does it not have enough to fly properly(pegasus flight is mostly magical), but it also loses the ability to walk on clouds. Hence some pegasi would end up preferring to maintain an apartment on the ground just in case. A pegasus who completely exhausted themselves in Cloudsdale itself would have almost as much of a problem as if you teleported an earth pony up there. With a lot of training they could glide down in a controlled crash -- that is the best such a pegasus could hope for.
Certainly not all pegasi would change lifestyles, but enough would to shift the population balance significantly. As for if this is a bad thing — there are arguments pro and con.
The thing with Gilda? Seems completely pointless. Also it quite literally came out of nowhere. I really don't see how she's at all important to the plot, and really all that scene seems to do is extend the story unnecessarily.
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Unless it becomes a problem later.
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*looks at Complete tag*
Did he already announce a sequel?
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It took a while for the news of the class to reach any part of the Griffon Kingdom. If the class had still been going on at that time, she might have been a normal student — but actually Misty would have refused her. She happened to arrive while the only pony able to teach was Rainbow Dash and she was lucky enough that she was the one and not some random pony.
In addition she does answer the question of — could griffons learn magic? That was a question asked by a few people. It also sets up a potential one-shot or sequel where the griffons demand to be taught magic which would not be a very good idea to do for the ponies. I had toyed with having that be a 7th chapter to this story, but I liked the idea of ending it when Celestia relented. It was a natural ending point. If, when I play around with it, I decide that it would work better as a 7th chapter here than doing it as a one shot or a three shot even, I might stick it in. It is much more likely though to be a one-shot than anything else.
One other thing though -- I already did set up a group -- Pegasus Horns, Magic for all Ponies. I do hope that more stories will be done in the AU I set up here whether written by me or others.
At first I was worried about a civil war in Equestria as the worst outcome, but now is the possibility that Rainbow had doomed the griffon culture.
Also, does Celestia has a plan to restrain the nobles from doing something, or one to stop the "ilegal teaching" of magic for the already dozens of ponies that attended to Misty's class and will, with time, make Cloudsdale go for a population of thousands to only hundreds?
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Exactly -- there are worse possible outcomes than just a civil war in Equestria, even after that possibility goes away. The foolish act of Rainbow Dash, letting the griffons know that they also have magic talents that they are unable to unlock without the help of the equines is enough for potentially 10,000 words.
The thing is though as I said before -- it doesn't exactly fit in with the initial "Can Misty pull this off?" arc, and I wanted at least a little pause before addressing that. So to answer the question of will there be a sequel to this? The answer is most likely yes, but probably not before Christmas.
Oh and I addressed illegal teaching. That is part of *why* Celestia wants to know of anypony who can teach -- IE anypony with the still shadows talent. She plans to keep them firmly under her hoof so that sort of thing does not happen.
----
Oh and I will give one little spoiler -- talents do tend to run towards the race in question. Griffon are kind of aggressive. Their magic tends to be similar. And yes that is "bad."
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So, basically, Still Shadows involves shifting a unicorn's magic so they can no longer access it? Because teaching is linked to it that seems to be the most logical explanation.
Also, I felt this chapter lost the continuity. It felt like two chapters stuck together, one seemed not really that important (Gilda) and the other seemed anticlimactic. It could definitely use a sequel.
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Still Shadows consists of several things..
1) It allows the detection of other ponies through detecting their magic
2) It allows deflection of magic spells cast towards the user if the user knows a spell is being cast and the direction it is coming from.
3) It allows the dismantling of spells that are in place through pulling the energy out of the spell matrix.
4) It allows moving magical energy around, in, and out of items or ponies. So it can let you open an unbalanced box, temporarily enhance another pony, or pull the magic out of a pony. This obviously takes time and is temporary as well as ponies regenerate magic.
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As for the chapter in question, is this continuity loss merely because the Gilda thing is not taken care of within this arc of the story? IE if it had been marked incomplete it would have been a null issue, or did you not like it regardless?
I find it interesting that you find Celestia backing down anti-climactic. Getting her to change her mind on an issue like this is far from easy.
Yes I was thinking about doing a griffon arc but I didn't think it fit within the main arc of the story. If enough people really prefer it to be placed here instead I can re-open it and do it that way rather than as a sequel but as I do not have that planned out as well the updates would be slower that way and I prefer doing it as a sequel.
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It's more because the Gilda scene really doesn't contribute at all to the story. The question of whether griffons can do magic has nothing to do with the story.
And I liked the ending, it just seemed like it could have been fleshed out a bit more with other ponies' reactions, like the nobles, maybe have another chapter where they try to get her to back down and something happens. More of that, less Gilda.
Maybe the fact that a good portion of the final chapter seemed to have no contribution to the story made the ending seem weaker than it otherwise would have been, whereas if Gilda's part had been used as the beginning of a sequel, it would have actually had a purpose.
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So in essence you consider it fine so long as at some time in the future there is a sequel. As I consider this the end of an arc, that is fairly well assured. I wanted to write something a little lighter though for a while than where this would end up going in a second arc. Hence the delay before that second arc would start. (That and the fact that I have to lay the whole thing out. I do not want to go there without knowing how I intend to wrap it up beforehand.)
As for the nobles reaction at the end — they really did not get a chance. Luna set up the schedule to help Twilight, Dash, and AJ make their point to Celestia that morning.
This is a good concept; however the writing could use a bit of work.
It feels sort of rushed and it jumps around. It also doesn't flow too well and there are a few issues in conventions.
By the way, I have formally started on the sequel. It will be quite a while before it is finished but I figured people would want to know.
1470369 I like it
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Yes.
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I am too lazy to look (at least I am honest), can you give me a link to it if it has the first chapter out ywe- it probably is done by now... Just please link it, I loved this.
I remember giving this a read a while back.....it was somewhat confusing, what with the OC and the lack of backstory around the concept behind non-unicorn magic but I liked it. I'm looking forward to more in the sequel, and of course hope for more of CMC Alicorns as well.
Some of the dialogue is a bit awkward. I have trouble picturing the characters phrasing the things they said in that particular way. Those awkward conversations are also a bit rushed. It's hard to get a picture of their emotions at such a pace. The worst offender by far is when Celestia confronted Misty in Cloudsdale. Her confrontation with Scootaloo wasn't quite as bad, but it's still not quite right.
Second, even though you said there's a sequel on the way, this story is in desperate need of an epilogue. A story and its sequel are two separate stories that describe separate events in the same storyline. Thus, each story in the storyline must have closure at the end.
Even with these faults, I enjoyed this an will keep an eye out for more. And don't forget about your other story, either.
Hm. Seems like I forgot to upvote this last time I read through it. I just faved it without upvoting.
CORRECTED.
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Few problems.
1) Cloud Kicker's coat is Persian Blue, or even a light blue. Twilight's coat is violet. And Scootaloo's coat isn't brown it's technically Light brilliant Gamboge. Mostly it is shown as orange.
2) While most people say a story needs a sequel or a prequel it's just because they like the story. Don't get me wrong alot of this first chapter is awesome. Much love for it. But it mentions things, events, and other things that really need a story there to build up from. Events and moments that are important to the character (and integral to the others in this story), and thus significant to the story that need a Prequel to build upon. For the reader to truly care about it. Is it interesting? Yes. Are those moments important to the story / character? More than likely. But do I truly grasp / feel for her? Not really. I want to, but I' m more confused than anything. Are you going to be making a story outlining:
a) Misty's life, magical training, and life in Ponyville around time of her finding out how to do magic.
b) Flutter's accident.
c) The Friendship report that got her arrested + The arrest.
d) What it meant when she said "at least I'll see Luna again" / her friendship? with Luna.
and
e) How and Why DT is friends with Prince Blue Blood.
?
and
3) How old is Scoots / Long after Season 3 is this story?
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First off, Cloud Kicker is not even in Pegasus Horns... Nowhere. (You actually had me go back into my copy of it (which is all in one piece) to verify.)
The Fluttershy accident is actually shown in one of the comments. Fluttershy gets a taste of Red Bull was the original title of it. https://docs.google.com/document/d/1COj_rmXAUfr99FArBjHkDxiQSzls0-Ou8jmHfREE0RY/edit
That Gdoc was the best of a story(that had 6 chapters(actually in its final form it had 4)) from 10 years before this one (which places it around season 2) so this is about 9 years after season 3.
I actually liked the April fools ending better than the original one that I came up with.
I had originally written a story around Misty BUT it was entirely in a script format which they would not accept here AND it was my first pony work when I was a far worse writer. What the prologue tried to do was to bring the story up to the beginning. I can see that it might seem to push the boundaries of brevity.
If you REALLY want the entirety of the first misty story, I guess I could send it to you. As I said though I wasn't as good an author at the time and I retconned a little bit of Misty because certain things were not necessary and were not desired.
I had tried to write them as if they were episodes of MLPFIM.
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You need to fix the dilog here.
When you have things in "" marks that's one speaker, and if you have multiple paragraphs then you don't have the end " marks. Rather you have opening " marks on the next paragraph using the end marks when the speaker is done speaking. You have that error throughout this entire chapter. Other than that it was a good one. I really dislike Tia here, and I hope that Twi saves Scoots.
Also we never see that Scoots gets her Cutie Mark. What is it?