Spike is blackmailed by the Cutie Mark Crusaders into helping them get their Cutie Marks, when they find out about his love for Rarity. After a small accident cause by the four, Spike overhears Rarity ranting negatively about a certain "him". In the depths of misery, Spike begin's unintentionally spreading his sorrow to everyone around him. It'll be up to Rarity to bring Spike out of his pain and back to his normal happy self.
Originally written from June of 2011 to September of 2011. Before Season 2 aired, and how I would see the reveal of Spike's secret.
Spike is blackmailed by the Cutie Mark Crusaders into helping them get their Cutie Marks, when they find out about his love for Rarity. After a small accident cause by the four, Spike overhears Rarity ranting negatively about a certain "him". In the depths of misery, Spike begin's unintentionally spreading his sorrow to everyone around him. It'll be up to Rarity to bring Spike out of his pain and back to his normal happy self.
Sounds a lot better for a summary.
I remember reading this on fanfiction.net it wasn't bad but it needs a serious grammar overhaul.
XD this is some funny stuff brother. i really like how this is something i would EXPECT to acctually happen on the show. good job bro!
Not a bad little story
good story bro. grammers a bit off to be honest
that owl is a genius i tell ya
This is quite enjoyable but I do have to say that the authors notes are starting to interfere with the story in my opinion, after all most of them could be eliminated by simply adding or changing a line of dialogue, case in point instead of the A/N about AJ liking pineapples because of the apples you could have changed her previous line from "pinnepple, my favorite" to "pine-APPLE mah favorite" or something. Just some advice, but the story itself is great.
This is a pretty good story. It's entertaining and it keeps my interest. However, there are several things that really detract from it.
The most common and noticeable issue is the grammar. In particular, comma placement is too frequently incorrect. And at the end of the last chapter, when you give us the letter to Celestia, you should only italicize what is actually on the letter. When you also italicize dialog between characters, it throws me off. Also be aware that you need to keep your verb tense consistent. Saying Twilight and Spike embraced each other for the rest of the night, and tonight they'll need it switches suddenly from past to future, and it becomes difficult to gauge what happens when. As a general rule, unless it's a character speaking, always use the same tense.
Another issue, albeit a minor one, is that you seem to be rather inconsistent with the mood of the story. You go from tugging at our sympathy to cracking jokes. Which is perfectly fine, but when it's done in the form of author's notes (A/N: Get it? Because it has "apple" in it? Eh?), it not only distracts me from your story, it makes it seem informal at best, and a waste of my time at worst. I'm fine with author comments, but don't have them pop up like television commercials.
In addition, at times the story feels rushed. Don't be afraid to give more detail about what the characters are doing. Don't tell me Still crying, Twilight found a book about dragons and turned to an article about Dragon Tears, tell me Still crying, Twilight slowly lumbered over to the bookshelf. She had a suspicion that Spike's distress was somehow affecting her. She pulled down an encyclopedia about magical creatures and scanned the table of contents. Finding something that appeared helpful, she turned to a page labeled "Dragon Tears". In this example, in addition to giving more length to your story, you paint me a more accurate and interesting picture of how you want the characters to act.
Besides these, your story is good. The concept of Dragon Tears is interesting, and the misunderstanding of Rarity's hatred was funny to discover. You definitely have talent; you just need to flesh out your concepts and work on grammar and sentence structure. Believe me; these little things add up, and a grammatically flawless story says nothing but good things about the writer.
I don't see why he would need a u............Ohhhhhhhhhhh.
haha silly fourth wall
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and he/she said ooooooo realizing what?
So spike, are you really about o just you know....hand them even MORE ammunition?
wait if there was a explosion, how is there anything left of the basket? Spike was the point of the explosion right, from inside the basket?
Ahem. "Rainbowdash" doesn't exist, buddy. There is "Rainbow Dash", in two separate words.
880647 An explosion doesn't have to obliterate everything.
938935
Your right, but this explosion was bottled up inside of spike, which is currently a closed container thats doing nothing but building pressure. The way the explosion is being seen in my perspective, i the release alone should've turned the basket into mini chunks that can't do any physical damage outside of causing multiple fires to break out when landing on certain flammable objects.
Edit; ok let me clarify a bit
If we go into this argument, than we will basically be going into a discussion of the level of degree and magnitude of the explosion spike created. Now lets just has the explosion was on the level of a average hand grenade. I can see the everything happening the way it is, but thats not what I am seeing . I'm seeing a average hot air balloon, going up against what I was visualizing to be an explosion equivalent to a certain amount of c-4 explosives (i'm not putting a amount because I don't know how C-4 is measured.) So, I don't see any large debris survive that can do anything less than being hot enough to cause fires to break out. Not let me also stay, I'm not taking into account what the basket is made out of, I am only assuming its a light flammable material, it could be light thin sheets of metal. Which than I need to reread the chapter before I go into that.
Pinkie Pie's been constantly telling me, that I have to try this new cake she's made. She says it's something to die for. shall i take out the Reference book.
scootaloo you fool!!!! you'll kill us all!!!!!!
oh and great fic btw
awwwwww......sweet little spike and twilight scene, always enjoyable in any fic.
I knew there was a reason that I never liked Scootaloo as a character!
this is a story that made me cry... but not the first one. That honour belongs to Mic the Micropones dramatic reading of My Little Dashie.
Uh If I were to make a lance, gold would be one of the last substances I'd consider building it with. Even wood is better. Yeah it's corrosion resistant but it's also very soft compared to good old iron and much heavier. Then again, this is a dreamscape so...
Spike made a deal with the CMC. This clearly can only end well.
Yup, nothing can possibly go wrong with these guys.
Wut.
I agree with Pinkie Pie.
Scootaloo?
What r u doin?
Scootaloo?
Stahp!
She found Pia-Chan's fanart!
Owlowiscious: ultimate wingman.
3173913 I hope it's not her "M" fanart!