• Member Since 14th Feb, 2014
  • offline last seen Apr 6th, 2023

BlueSkyHeadLeft010


Hey there! I like to write stuff, sometimes... Don't take my work too seriously, just enjoy it. ^^; [I also write non-pony stories on Ao3~!]

Comments ( 13 )

There isn't a happy ending, only entropy and sadness. Be warned, this is a tale about madness, delusion, horror, and death.

... Meh, I'm game. *likes and follows*

I can already guess the ending.. XP

This shall be interesting, i hope.

Alright, you got me curious. Let's see where this goes.

Dang, how did I not notice this when it went up? Super excited to see where you take this!

will there be more?

8381004
oh I hope so Its to good to stop at 1 chapter

Guys, this is a really freaking dark story.
I'm giving you fair warning now that it's not going to get better. Things get worse.
There isn't a happy ending, only entropy and sadness.

Huh, I guess the thing about there not being a happy ending was true, just didn't expect it to have no ending at all. It does kind of fit with the entropy and sadness thing though.

She (recognized as) Queen when she (saw one).

She recognized this changeling as a Queen when she saw this one.

She knocked twice on the door. “She's gone now(..)” Blossom spoke normally as she heard (the it) click (and push) open and two little heads popped out, soon followed by Evergreen as he smiled at his wife. First, use double periods, as if one period will not do, let your readers have two! On second thought, don’t use double periods. Second, introducing the IT, a combination of human science and unicorn magic that is the most powerful type of door protection known to ponykind!

She knocked twice on the door. “She's gone now.” Blossom spoke normally as she heard the lock click and then the door was slowly pushed open and two little heads popped out, soon followed by Evergreen as he smiled at his wife.

“Okay. That sounds like a plan(..)” She muttered, as she ever so carefully moved the journal to a corner in the room and ignored it in favor (or) cooking supper for everypony.

“Okay. That sounds like a plan.” She muttered, as she ever so carefully moved the journal to a corner in the room and ignored it in favor of cooking supper for everypony.

For a better story, I’d rewrite Queen Ebony as a metamorphosed changeling with a dark red body and light yellow wings to make your first chapter a more cheerful read that will make your later chapters appear that much darker. For example, if you start out your story in the happy Shire, when your readers get to Mordor that dark land will appear to them to be that much darker. Tolkien didn’t start his classic stories in the Shire to bore his readers. He did that to make an honest contrast of the peaceful and happy Shire with the many dark places his characters travel through.

Noooo!! This story is deaaaddd!!

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