• Published 15th Jun 2012
  • 8,333 Views, 95 Comments

Five Should Be Enough - Arcainum



Applejack takes drastic measures to prevent Big Mac's death, and learns something of sacrifice.

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Five Should Be Enough

Applejack woke up.

Blinking away the pain that even the faint rays of the sunrise poking through her curtains caused her, she rubbed at her eyes in a vain effort to rouse herself further.

Heck, I feel like I’ve been up all night.

She rolled out of bed, shaking her head free of the cloud that persisted in fugging her mind, and staggered over to the window, yanking the curtains aside. The sudden burst of light made her recoil, but the spots in her eyes soon died and she looked out, a smile creeping onto her face as she took in the sight.

Sweet Apple Acres lay before her, drenched in early morning warmth. The well-cut grass waved in the lazy breeze, matching the slow dance of the leaves adorning the apple trees that stretched as far as the eye could see. Shadows stubbornly clung beneath the eaves of the larger buildings as the sun continued its relentless march skywards. The sky itself was cloudless, bar an errant cumulus already being shunted clear by a team of Weather Patrol pegasi.

Applejack nodded to herself, all tiredness forgotten.

It’s a beautiful day in Ponyville. A good day for working.

She grabbed her hat, flipped it onto her head, and headed downstairs.

Granny Smith was, as usual, already up; the sound of her eccentric methods of cooking clattering and sizzling from the kitchen. Applejack had always puzzled at how Granny, who spent so much of the average day asleep she had once “forgotten what midday looked like,” was always wide-awake before dawn, preparing breakfast and setting the farm’s financial affairs in order. A cantankerous voice joined the racket.

“If you’re gonna stand outside my kitchen, you can help me out in my kitchen!”

Applejack laughed and trotted in, joining her elderly relative at the stove.

“Sorry, Granny, but I just couldn’t help but be stunned by them delicious smells you’re creating.”

“None of your lip, young’un! Come and give your Granny a helping hoof!”

Despite Granny’s insistence that the making of toast and eggs required multiple pans, both stoves, a broken ladle and, at one point, a large hedgehog, breakfast was prepared in good time. As they sat down to eat, Apple Bloom entered, preceded by an enormous yawn.

“M... M... Morning.”

“Hey there, Lil’ Sis! You’re up bright and early. You ain’t helping out today, remember?”

Apple Bloom plonked herself into a chair and began nibbling at a slice of toast.

“Sweetie Belle’s with her sister in the afternoon, so we’re crusading early.”

Applejack smiled at her sister’s dedication to her friends. A thought struck her.

“Hey, speaking of siblings, where’s Mac?”

Granny rolled her eyes.

“Already out working the fields! I say to him, ‘Listen here, Little Mac—you keep working so hard, you’re gonna get yourself in trouble one day!’ ‘Course, you can guess what he told me.”

“Eeeyup.”

Apple Bloom’s giggle seemed to break Granny’s momentary irritation and the three ponies laughed together. Applejack gulped down the last of her meal and stood up, tipping her hat to her family.

“Welp, I’m off to start the day! I’ll see you later, Granny, and... Apple Bloom?”

Her sister glanced up at her apprehensively, fearing the usual lecture on safety.

“Why not help Rarity out with your friend? Maybe you’ll get your dressmakin’ cutie mark!”

Winking, Applejack left the kitchen, chuckling at Apple Bloom’s faux gag.

~~~~/~

Applejack wiped the sweat from her forehead, breathing heavily in the bright midday sun.

“Phew! We all done here?”

Big Macintosh nodded and nudged the large bushel of apples at his hooves.

“Eeeyup.” He then turned and wryly nodded at the hundreds of trees yet to to be bucked. “Aaand nope.”

Applejack sighed. The applebuck season was turning out to be almost as difficult as last year’s, even with the help of her brother. Still, there was no need in begrudging success.

“We still gotta work on that barn... You reckon we could get in a few more trees before the day is done?”

Big Mac stood thoughtfully for a moment, weighing the tasks of the day ahead in his mind, then nodded.

“Eeeyup.”

“Alright, let’s get to it.”

Big Mac hoisted the bushel onto his back and together they strolled purposefully to the nearest tree, an enormous specimen that towered over its brethren. It was one of the first normal apple trees the Apples had planted after settling in the area, and was still producing a fine crop year after year. Applejack looked up and whistled. Big Mac began to move, but Applejack help up a hoof.

“Don’t worry, I can handle this one myself. Can’t have you hurting yourself like last year!”

Big Mac gave a short chuckle and stepped aside. Applejack eyed the large tree and briefly regretted her adamance. Then she tutted, turned around and squared herself, ready for the blow.

Come on, AJ, this ain’t the playground. If there’s one thing you’ve learned from your friends it’s that it ain’t a crime to get help when you need it.

She took a deep breath, bunched her muscles, then let the kick fly.

She had expected the usual strong-yet-springy resistance—for the trunk to absorb the impact, vibrating with enough force to knock its delicious crop free. She had expected a kick, a rustle, and a series of thumps.

What she had not expected was her hooves to tear through the bark like a rock through thin glass, or to lose her balance and tumble to the ground as her kick’s uninterrupted momentum took her legs out from under her. She had not expected a series of jagged cracks to rapidly form around the trunk before splitting violently, or for the entire tree to come crashing down towards her with a sound like the creaking of a thousand doors.

She certainly did not expect, as the falling trunk loomed over her and filled her vision with oncoming doom, for Big Mac to push her out of the way.

Her brother’s weight slammed into her, sending her rolling across the grass as tree met ground with a thunderous crash behind her. For a few moments, Applejack’s world was nothing but spiralling confusion and pain, until she slid to a halt several feet from the base of the toppled tree.

She slowly pulled herself to her hooves and winced as she felt the distinctive prangs in her chest that signified a broken rib, maybe two, where Big Mac had collided with her. She slowly turned around, gritting her teeth.

“Darnit, Macintosh! I appreciate the help, but did you have to hit me so darn... so...”

Her voice trailed off as she faced the corpse of the tree. The great trunk, seeping heart-rot within now exposed, lay like a fallen giant; more than a hundred years of growth and harvest cut short by nothing more than a lucky fungus.

Applejack’s eyes followed the trunk. Her gaze moved from the vital crack at its base, along the twisted bark, past the second crack where the trunk had snapped as it landed... to the limp form below it.

A red coat, tainting the green grass around it with a pool of spreading colour. A heaving chest, struggling to draw a breath. A smiling face, secure in the knowledge of a job well done.

Applejack galloped to her brother, the searing pain in her chest causing her to stumble, falling to her knees at his side.

“Macintosh! You alright?! C’mon, Macintosh, use your words!”

Sucking in a deep, rattling breath, her brother smiled his wry smile.

“I reckon... nope.”

“This ain’t no time for jokes, Mac! This surely...” Applejack forced herself to stand and braced herself against the fallen trunk, thrusting all her weight against it. “This... surely... ain’t... no time... to be making... jokes!”

Her nerves screamed at her as she threw herself at the tree over and over again. It shifted, but only slightly. Even hollowed by the creeping fungus within, the trunk was still too heavy for her to move by herself, hindered as she was by her injuries.

She felt a gentle hoof touch her leg, compelling her to cease her fruitless efforts. She looked down at her brother, his calm expression blurred by the tears that threatened to blind her.

“Can’t have you hurting yourself, now.”

Applejack fell to her knees again, no longer able to withstand the pain. She lay next to her brother as the breath left him, resting her head on his unmoving neck. She gritted her teeth as her tears mingled with the blood matted in his mane, cursing her own weakness and the world that would kill a good, strong pony just for saving another’s life.

“Ain’t me you should be worrying about, you big dummy... Ain’t me you should be worrying about...”

She cried until her eyes burned, choking back the tears every step of the way.

At last, she stood up, ignoring her creaking ribs. She took one last look at her departed brother through red-rimmed eyes, his blood glinting in the midday sun, then turned to face the road to Ponyville. The tangled ball of sorrow in her mind was replaced with a single thread of white-hot determination.

I ain’t gonna stand for this.

Then everything went black.

-----

“Applejack? I thought you were working today. Wait, are you okay? You look hur—”

“Big Mac’s dead.”

~~~~/~~

Applejack woke up.

Blinking away the pain that even the faint rays of the sunrise poking through her curtains caused her, she rubbed at her eyes in a vain effort to rouse herself further.

Heck, I feel like I’ve been up all night.

She lay still for a moment, staring at the ceiling. The cold claws of the dream pricked at the edges of her mind, and she shivered.

I hope I don’t have no more dreams like that for a long time.

She rolled out of bed, shaking her head free of the cloud that persisted in fugging her mind, and staggered over to the window, yanking the curtains aside. The sudden burst of light made her recoil, but the spots in her eyes soon died and she looked out, a smile creeping onto her face as she took in the sight.

Sweet Apple Acres lay before her, drenched in morning warmth. The well-cut grass waved in the lazy breeze, matching the slow dance of the leaves adorning the apple trees that stretched as far as the eye could see. Shadows stubbornly clung beneath the eaves of the larger buildings as the sun continued its relentless march skywards. The sky itself was cloudless, bar an errant cumulus already being shunted clear by a team of Weather Patrol pegasi.

Applejack nodded to herself, all tiredness forgotten.

It’s a beautiful day in Ponyville. A good day for working.

She grabbed her hat, flipped it onto her head, and headed downstairs.

Granny Smith was, as usual, already up; the sound of her eccentric methods of cooking clattering and sizzling from the kitchen. Applejack had always puzzled at how Granny, who spent so much of the average day asleep she had once “forgotten what midday looked like,” was always wide-awake before dawn, preparing breakfast and setting the farm’s financial affairs in order. A cantankerous voice joined the racket.

“If you’re gonna stand outside my kitchen, you can help me out in my kitchen!”

Applejack laughed and trotted in, joining her elderly relative at the stove.

“Sorry, Granny, but I just couldn’t help but be stunned by them delicious smells you’re creating.”

“None of your lip, young’un! Come and give your Granny a helping hoof!”

Applejack stopped for a moment, lost in thought.

“What’s taking you so long, young’un?”

Applejack shook her head.

Huh. Must be one of them déjà vus.

“Coming, Granny!”

Despite Granny’s insistence that the making of toast and eggs required multiple pans, both stoves, a broken ladle and, at one point, a large hedgehog, breakfast was prepared in good time. As they sat down to eat, Apple Bloom entered, preceded by an enormous yawn.

“M... M... Morning.”

“Hey there, Lil’ Sis! You’re up bright and early. You ain’t helping out today, remember?”

Apple Bloom plonked herself into a chair and began nibbling at a slice of toast.

“Sweetie Belle’s with her sister in the afternoon, so we’re crusading early.”

Applejack smiled at her sister’s dedication to her friends. A thought struck her.

“Hey, speaking of siblings, where’s Mac?”

Granny rolled her eyes.

“Already out working the fields! I say to him, ‘Listen here, Little Mac—you keep working so hard, you’re gonna get yourself in trouble one day!’ ‘Course, you can guess what he told me.”

“Eeeyup.”

Apple Bloom’s giggle seemed to break Granny’s momentary irritation and the three ponies laughed together. Applejack gulped down the last of her meal and stood up, tipping her hat to her family.

“Welp, I’m off to start the day! I’ll see you later, Granny, and... Apple Bloom?”

Her sister glanced up at her apprehensively, fearing the usual lecture on safety. There was a moment’s pause.

“Stay safe, huh?”

Apple Bloom rolled her eyes and replied with a dutiful “Yes, ma’am” as Applejack left the room.

~~~~/~~

Applejack wiped the sweat from her forehead, breathing heavily in the bright midday sun.

“Phew! We all done here?”

Big Macintosh nudged the large bushel of apples at his hooves.

“Eeeyup.” He then turned and wryly nodded at the hundreds of trees yet to to be bucked. “Aaand nope.”

Applejack sighed. The applebuck season was turning out to be almost as difficult as last year’s, even with the help of her brother. Still, there was no need in begrudging success.

“We still gotta work on that barn... You reckon we could get in a few more trees before the day is done?”

Big Mac stood thoughtfully for a moment, weighing the tasks of the day ahead in his mind, then nodded.

“Eeeyup.”

“Alright, let’s...

For the third time that day, she stared into space for a few moments. Try as she might, she could not stop her thoughts returning to her awful dream. It was silly, and foalish, but...

“You know what? They’ll keep. Can’t let the rest of the farm go to ruin just because we want to get the apples in early! Ain’t that right, Mac?”

Her brother shrugged and hoisted the bushel of apples onto his back. The two Apples trotted to the nearby cart and deposited their cargo. Macintosh slotted his yoke into place and, blinking in the midday sun, they set off for the barn.

~~~~/~~

Tilting her head as she peered closer, Applejack squinted at the peeling red surface of the barn’s inside wall. She tapped a hoof at it thoughtfully, recoiling as a puff of moist dust burst free. Coughing and waving her hat about her to clear the cloying red cloud, she called down to Big Mac.

“Yup, that’s...” She hacked her way through a fresh bout of coughing. “That’s definitely rotten!”

Big Mac rolled his eyes. Applejack could understand the lapse in his usual unflappable demeanour.

“Seems like we spend more time fixing up this barn than using it, huh?”

“Eeeyup.”

Applejack stood up, stretching out a crick in her back as she did so. She trotted across the creaking loft, kicking up dust and hay on her way to the ladder leading down. Climbing nimbly down, she clapped her brother on the shoulder as she came to a halt beside him.

“Welp, you’re up, Mac.”

Big Mac took a step towards the ladder, but stopped at the sound of a familiar voice lilting into the barn.

“Sis? Big Brother? You in there?”

Apple Bloom poked her head around the door, breaking into a grin as she caught sight of her siblings. Applejack trotted over and ruffled her sister’s mane, to Apple Bloom’s consternation.

“Hey there, Apple Bloom. How’d your crusading go?”

Apple Bloom knocked her sister’s hoof from her head and began to gesticulate wildly as she recounted the events of the day.

“It was amazing! We went down to the river like we planned, but then Scootaloo was late, so we kinda threw stones for a bit, but then Scootaloo arrived, and she was riding in this enormous...”

As Apple Bloom continued, thoroughly absorbed in her tale, Applejack grinned at Big Mac over her shoulder. She cocked her head up at the loft, and Big Mac nodded.

“...and then the whole room turned into jelly, only it was way bouncier and smelled kinda like fish...”

Applejack turned back to her sister, desperately trying to conceal a smile. She felt bad for laughing at the Crusaders’ antics, but every story Apple Bloom brought home sounded crazier than the last. She would sometimes joke that her sister was surely soon to receive her tall tales cutie mark, to which Apple Bloom would pout and declare that “any pony with a lying cutie mark wouldn’t be no sister to the Element of Honesty.”

“...but then Sweetie Belle had to leave, so we rounded up the manticore cubs and headed home. So... what are you doing? Looking for that ticking sound?”

Applejack was immediately jolted out of her pleasant reflection. She heard Big Mac’s hoof-falls on the ladder stop dead.

“...Ticking sound?”

Apple Bloom nodded happily.

“Yup! Remember a couple weeks back, when we was having our Cutie Mark Crusader Barn Fortress Slumber Party? We kept hearing this weird ticking sound coming from the walls! Scootaloo reckoned it might have been a bomb, but Sweetie Belle said that was...”

Ticking on a summer night, and for weeks now. Oh no.

The barn groaned.

Applejack picked Apple Bloom up by the scruff of her neck and tossed her as far as she could outside. She whirled around to face her brother.

“Big Mac! Clicksinging beetles!”

Big Mac had already leapt from the ladder. He landed with a thud, and the barn shook. The groaning became a hissing roar of shattering wood, and the roof sagged. As Big Mac galloped toward her, lowering his head, Applejack was gripped by a vision of a falling tree blocking out the midday sun and a pool of red in a sea of green.

No! Wait!

The barn collapsed inwards, the voracious larvae of the clicksong beetle having finally finished their deadly work. Her brother slammed into her, throwing her to the dirt road outside. She cried out in pain as she felt a rib, maybe two, crack. Coughing away the plume of dust her landing had created, she watched in horror as the barn crumbled like a paper cup, crushed beneath the uncaring hoof of some great pony in the sky.

She and Apple Bloom looked on as Big Mac smiled warmly before vanishing beneath the tumbling structure.

The dust settled.

The moment passed. Both ponies leapt to their hooves and galloped to the wreckage and began desperately pulling at fallen timber, clawing hoof and tooth at the decrepit but heavy beams.

Applejack got through first. She gasped, her hoof rising to her mouth in shock. Apple Bloom slowly walked to her side, eyes wide and shining in fear.

“Sis? Did... Have you found him?”

Applejack turned away from the barn and took a deep breath, clenching her teeth. Apple Bloom stepped closer, lip trembling.

“...Sis?”

Applejack knelt before her sister, tears glinting in the midday sun.

“Just... don’t go looking, Apple Bloom. Ain’t no thing for fillies to be looking at.”

Apple Bloom came to the only conclusion she could come to and began to cry, letting loose great wracking sobs that shook her small body as Applejack clutched her tightly.

Then everything went black.

-----

“Dangit, Twilight, what’s taking so long?!”

“I don’t... It’s this spell! It makes no sense! Star Swirl wrote it in code, for goodness’ sake! It doesn’t even explain why it does what it does; it just says, ‘So that lines may be drawn, the wheel turns.”

~~~~/~~~

Applejack woke up, sweating and gasping for breath.

Closing her eyes against the faint rays of sunrise poking through the curtains, she rubbed at her eyes and took a deep, shuddering breath.

Just another dream, AJ. Dreaming in a dream. Ain’t unheard of.

She rolled out of bed, shaking her head free of the cloud that persisted in fugging her mind, and staggered over to the window, yanking the curtains aside. The sudden burst of light made her recoil, but the spots in her eyes soon died and she looked out.

Sweet Apple Acres lay before her, drenched in morning warmth. The well-cut grass waved in the lazy breeze, matching the slow dance of the leaves adorning the apple trees that stretched as far as the eye could see. Shadows stubbornly clung beneath the eaves of the larger buildings as the sun continued its relentless march skywards. The sky itself was cloudless, bar an errant cumulus already being shunted clear by a team of Weather Patrol pegasi.

Applejack bit her lip, eyes darting across the vista, searching for discrepancies.

Exactly the same. It’s all exactly the same.

She grabbed her hat and, taking comfort in the practiced gesture, flipped it onto her head. She trotted downstairs.

Granny Smith was, as usual, already up; the sound of her eccentric methods of cooking clattering and sizzling from the kitchen. Applejack walked cautiously to the kitchen door, fearful of what she might hear. And, sure enough, a cantankerous voice joined the racket.

“If you’re gonna stand outside my kitchen, you can help me out in my kitchen!”

Applejack froze.

It is the same. All of it.

Granny’s head poked out of the kitchen, peering askew at her granddaughter.

“You okay there, young’un? You got the look about you like a windigo been running through your bedroom!”

Applejack opened and closed her mouth, trying to form words.

“Just a... bad dream, Granny. Hit me harder than I’d like.”

No farm work. Can’t let Mac near anything dangerous.

“In fact, I’m feeling pretty under the weather all round. Might have to sit this one out... Maybe get Mac to help me with the books?”

Granny wobbled into the hallway and frowned.

“Now, you was fine yesterday...”

Applejack looked at Granny hopefully, trying her hardest to look terribly ill. Whether Granny accepted the subterfuge or saw the pleading behind her gaze, she shrugged and smiled.

“Never let it be said Apples don’t go looking out for each other! But you ain’t looking bed-ridden. How ‘bout you and Little Mac go into town and pick up my shopping?”

Even as the fear pressed down on her, Applejack found herself rolling her eyes.

“More pans, Granny?”

Granny gently clapped her about the ear with a wrinkled hoof.

“I’ll stop buying pans when we stop selling zap apples! I just spent all last season teaching your sister what’s needed, I don’t want to have to do it a fourth time!”

Applejack raised a hoof to her stinging ear and smiled wanly.

“Sorry. I’ll be off right now.”

Granny turned on her heels and trotted back into the kitchen, muttering about uppity granddaughters and the lack of respect in the youth of today and how in her time they didn’t have none of these high-faluting cooking appliances...

~~~~/~~~

Applejack found herself smiling, despite the uncertainty that dogged her every thought. Ponyville’s main street was on fine form, full to the brim with yelling marketeers, gamboling foals, and ponies just plain relaxing. As used as she was to living apart from the bustle of the town, the presence of so many good ponies always made her feel welcome.

Surely ain’t nothing bad gonna happen around here.

She glanced to her side. Big Mac strolled purposefully alongside her. She caught herself sighing in relief at his continued presence and frowned.

Come on, now, silly filly. Big Mac ain’t going anywhere. No point getting all worked up over a bad dream.

Even as she admonished herself, she spotted their destination. The two siblings trotted into the town square, weaving through the crowds until they reached Granny’s favoured pot stand. The green-maned earth pony’s eyes became slightly wild as she caught sight of them, placing her forelegs on the counter and scanning the crowd fearfully. As Applejack and Big Mac stepped up to her stall, she cast a conspiratorial glance about her and whispered.

“Your, uh, Granny isn’t around... is she? Only, I’ve got merchandise to protect...”

The Apples chuckled. Granny’s reputation preceded her.

“That’s alright, Daisy, none of your pans are gonna get nibbled today.”

Daisy slumped back to all fours and let out a deep breath.

“Phew. I’m starting to run low on kitchenware that couldn’t be used to identify her in an emergency.”

Applejack stiffened.

It’s just an off-colour joke, AJ. If it weren’t for those dreams, it’d be funny. Calm down, for pity’s sake!

Daisy rummaged in the space beneath the counter and pulled a form free, dropping it on the counter. Grabbing an ink-slathered stamp in her mouth, she decisively signed the paper with a practiced dart of her head.

“Fere, it’f all pai—” She spat out the stamp irritably. “There. All paid for. It’s round the back in the market warehouse, Bay 15. You know the way, right?”

“Eeeyup.”

Daisy smiled warmly.

“Okay! It’s great doing business with you again. I just wish I knew why you Apples needed so many. Not that I’m complaining!” Her smile faded slightly. “Oh, and don’t worry, they’ve all been...” she massaged her jaw absentmindedly, “... tested.”

Minutes later, the Apples stood at the entrance to the market warehouse. Any pony with a regular market stall was granted space in the commonly-held building and the Apples had dealings with most of them. Applejack turned to her brother and cocked her head toward the nearby door marked “Office.”

“You want to get the stuff while I handle the paperwork? I know you prefer lifting things to writing them.”

Big Mac nodded as emphatically as his laconic demeanour would allow and nudged the warehouse’s main door open, striding into the musty interior. Applejack trotted over to the office door and knocked, opening the door and poking her head in without waiting for an answer.

“Yoohoo! Anypony in here?”

“Gah!”

A young beetroot-coloured earth pony was inside, scribbling her signature at the uninhabited desk. She dropped the pen in her mouth with a shriek at Applejack’s unexpected entrance, but after seeing who had surprised her she sighed with relief, clutching at her chest with a hoof and breathing heavily.

“Oh, it’s just you, Applejack. Don’t do that!”

Applejack chuckled and walked into the office proper.

“Sorry if I scared you, Sweetfire! Wasn’t expecting anypony to be in here with the market in full swing and all!”

Sweetfire shook her head, looking grim.

“Actually, there shouldn’t be. I’m only here to help lock up.”

Applejack raised an eyebrow.

“‘Shouldn’t be?’ There something wrong with the place?”

“Apparently. I only came to pick up my usual order of greens, but Squared Away told me that the warehouse itself has some kind of structural issue that nopony’s noticed ‘til now and it’s way too dangerous to go in. He left me here to—”

Applejack cut her off incisively, voice as cold as the fear that enveloped her.

“Did you say... structural issues?”

Sweetfire blinked at the interruption.

“Uh, yeah. Like I said, he left me here to lock up while he went to inform the M—Hey, where are you going?! It’s dangerous, I said!”

Ignoring her, Applejack reared and kicked down the interior door of the office with a single, desperate blow. Galloping into the warehouse without a thought for Sweetfire’s warning cries, she began to search for her brother in the echoing gloom with barely-concealed panic.

“Mac?! Where are you, Mac?!”

It’s gonna happen again.

She raced through the warehouse, surrounded by tall crates, looming beams... creaking wood. There was a crash from deeper within the cavernous building, and Applejack cried out in fear.

“Mac, why ain’t you answering me?!”

She galloped on, hooves kicking up clouds of dust as they pounded the hard floor. She rounded a corner, turning into the aisle that held Daisy’s bay. As the dim light of the warehouse’s lamps flickered over the wreckage of the heavy crate, Applejack saw him.

In the gloom, her brother had stumbled into a heavy wardrobe, which now lay in the wreckage of a load-bearing beam. Applejack skidded to a halt at Big Mac’s side, even as he waved her away.

“You alright, Mac?!”

There was a low rumble, and the high wooden frame of the shelves began to shift unnervingly in the shadows. Applejack glanced up nervously, black certainty taking hold of her.

“We gotta get outta here befo—”

The shelves snapped with a loud crack. Crates of pans tumbled towards them in a landslide of wood and metal. Applejack felt a familiar impact, thrown to the floor beyond the reach of the falling debris. A pain in her side, a sickening thud amidst a storm of splinters, and a terrible silence.

She didn’t look up. She already knew what she would see. The only sound was the faint chiming of the office clock.

Everything went black.

-----

“Okay, I think we’re all set. But... are you sure you still want to do this, AJ? After everything I just told you?”

“Yes, I’m darn sure! I ain’t gonna live in a world where my brother died saving my life.”

~~~~/~~~~

Applejack sat bolt upright.

She leapt out of bed and galloped downstairs, pausing only to jam her hat onto her head, like a helmet against the horror.

Granny Smith was, as usual, already up; the sound of her eccentric methods of cooking clattering and sizzling from the kitchen. Applejack waited, ears pricked.

“If you’re gonna stand outside my kitchen, you can help me out in my kitchen!”

Applejack galloped on.

~~~~/~~~~

She found him in the fields, where she had found him three times before.

“Oh mercy, you’re alive! No, wait, ‘course you are—it ain’t midday yet and there’s no wood around.”

Her brother raised an eyebrow as Applejack ranted and gasped for breath.

“You okay there, AJ?”

Applejack forced herself to calm down through deep, wobbling breaths.

“I’m... I’m fine. But you gotta listen, brother. Something terrible is happening.”

She explained as best she could, gesturing wildly at the sunrise she had seen three times now, marred only by an errant cumulus already being shunted clear by a team of Weather Patrol pegasi.

Her brother listened, eyes widening at the frantic tales of his own repeated death. He looked down at his sister, the pony who had stood up to Nightmare Moon herself, as she glanced fearfully about an open field as if death itself were about to swoop down and claim him there.

She finished her frenzied tale and looked him in the eye as if daring him to disbelieve her.

“You understand, Mac? I know it sounds crazy, but... You hear what I’m saying?”

Big Mac’s strong hoof on her shoulder was all the answer she needed.

“Eeyup. Wouldn’t be much of an Element of Honesty if you were lying, now would you?”

Applejack let out the breath she had been holding, resting her head tenderly on her brother’s hoof. The moment passed, and they looked out across the fields.

“So... you got any ideas, Mac?”

Big Mac’s expression was unreadable as he gazed into the vast orchard.

“I reckon we take this thing head on.”

“Say what?”

He turned to her, all confidence.

“You said it yourself. You know what’s coming and, from what you’re telling me, if I make it past midday I reckon I’m in the clear.”

Applejack bit her lip.

“Just run the day as it was, keeping clear of what took you down? I ain’t sure about this... What if something goes wrong?”

Big Mac shrugged.


“Then maybe it was meant to go wrong.”

~~~~/~~~~

Applejack wiped the sweat from her forehead, breathing heavily in the bright midday sun, and thought carefully. She turned to her brother as he hoisted the heavy bushel of apples onto his back.

“Mac... This is it. This is where we were the first time.”

He raised an eyebrow and she pointed to the tree that had set her on her nightmare path.

“I insisted on bucking that tree, but it was sick with the rot and came crashing down. You pushed me out of the way, and... well... That left you in the way.”

Big Mac stepped up to the tree and examined it closely.

“Eeyup. That’s one unhealthy tree, alright. Be sad to see her go.”

“So... we moving on?”

Big Mac nodded, smiling.

“Eeyup.”

Marking the tree to be dealt with later, they strolled on under the midday sun.

~~~~/~~~~

The next few hours were spent bucking apples safely, checking every tree for signs of the disease that had claimed the first. Applejack found her mood lifting as the day went on. Nothing was going wrong. The day was nearly over, blissful sunset giving way to twilight. Midday was long past.

Her brother was safe.

“Hey now, what’s that noise?”

Applejack surfaced from her reverie. A low, crackling roar trembled faintly across the hills. Their eyes followed their ears to the red haze hanging over the orchard in the distance, a haze that Applejack had taken for the last rays of sunset.

Fire.

Big Mac wordlessly dropped the apples he carried and began to gallop toward the fire. Applejack cried out after him.

“Mac! No! You can’t!”

Her brother slowed, and turned to face her sternly. She shrunk away from his gaze, sunk in sudden shame. He spoke, voice low and steady.

“I ain’t gonna live in a world where my family died saving my life.”

With that, he galloped back into the shadows. Gritting her teeth and biting back tears, Applejack followed.

~~~~/~~~~

She ran through the burning orchard, almost blinded by the smoke and flames. She and her brother had intended to find the firefighting group that would have inevitably have formed, but a sudden breeze had spread the blaze rapidly in their direction. In the confusion, they had been separated.

Gotta find him. Burning wood everywhere—something’s gotta fall!

Her lungs burned as the ashen air rasped at her throat, and her legs ached as she tripped over fallen branches and dodged sudden gouts of flame caused by the perilous wind. But even as her body slowly failed her, her mind stayed sharp and determined. He had survived. The pattern had been broken. The pattern could be broken.

A stray root clipped her forehoof unexpectedly, invisible in the dancing shadows of the burning orchard. She stumbled, unable to find her footing as her legs refused to respond fast enough. Tripping over herself, she slammed into the blackened trunk of a burning tree.

Cursing, she slumped to her knees, hurriedly checking her bruised flank. No major damage. All she had to do was get up and she could—

She heard a crack.

Slowly, almost unable to bring herself to look, she lifted her gaze to the tree she had collided with. A jagged line ran across its circumference where she had hit it, slowly widening. She tried to stand, to pull herself clear, but somehow could not tear her attention from the crackling innards of the tree, or the boiling sap that bubbled free like golden blood. A rhythmic pounding crept into the edge of hearing, and she tore her gaze away just as gravity tore the tree’s top half free.

The pieces clicked together, and Applejack pulled herself up, ready to leap free. The heavy trunk fell towards her. The pounding grew louder. She bunched the muscles in her legs... but she was too late.

Big Mac crashed into her. She felt her ribs snap, heard the tree collapse, heard her brother’s grunt of pain. And she knew it had happened again.

Everything went black.

-----

“Well... if you’re sure. You understand the rules?”

“I got it. Five should be enough.”

~~~~/~~~~~

Applejack woke up.

I remember now. That’s why this is happening. I made it happen.

She lay there, staring at the ceiling and into herself.

But the wheel’s turned, and I reckon I’ve drawn the right line.

She swung herself out of bed and strode purposefully to her door, flipping her hat onto her head on the way. Down the stairs she went, ignoring the clatter of pans from the kitchen and walking past before Granny could call her. She left the house, blinking in the bright sunrise. Shading her eyes, she looked out over the fields to where her brother toiled.

I got a plan, Big Mac. Today I save your life.

~~~~/~~~~~

Big Mac stared at her.

“You want me to what?”

“I want you to sit here. All day. Do nothing.”

Big Mac scratched his head.

“Listen, AJ... I believe what you’re saying, but I ain’t sure how that’s gonna help.”

Gritting her teeth in frustration, Applejack waved a hoof at the expanse of orange-tinged grassland that surrounded them.

“Because there’s no danger, don’t you get it? Four times now, I’ve seen this! Something wooden falls, you save me and take the hit. This is the one place in Ponyville you’re safe! Ain’t no trees or buildings around to collapse, ain’t no danger for me to get into!”

“I just reckon we should take this thing hea—”

“That’s what you said the last time and it didn’t do a lick of good!”

Big Mac held up a hoof placatingly.

“Easy there, Sis.”

Applejack looked away, ashamed at her outburst.

“I’m sorry, Mac, I just... I’ve killed you four times, and I ain’t gonna do it again.”

~~~~/~~~~~

The two Apples sat in the heat of the midday sun, looking out over the fields. They sat in silence, watching the day go by.

“Mac?”

“Eeyup?”

“In the last loop, you said something to me. I was worried your plan of just bulldozing through this thing would go wrong, and you said ‘Maybe it was meant to go wrong.’ What in the hay does that mean?”

Big Mac chewed his strand of hay thoughtfully, staring into space. Applejack glanced at him as he thought. The faint sounds of Ponyville could be heard on the breeze, mingling with the shouts of farm ponies and the calls of birds. Big Mac’s deaths seemed nothing more than distant nightmares, far detached from the peaceful moment they shared. At last, her brother spoke.

“Everypony dies sometime. You can try to wrestle them back from the brink, or keep them safe from anything that could hurt them... But everypony dies. I ain’t saying it’s written in the stars, but there comes a time when fighting just doesn’t work no more. Remember when old Rusty went?”

Applejack nodded, thinking back to the day in her youth when the ancient pony had collapsed in the sun. Big Mac continued.

“We were all running around like pigs in a fire trying to get help, or give him some water, or anything. But he just lay there smiling, even when the doctor finally showed and told us he wasn’t gonna make it.”

Big Mac met his sister’s gaze, silently urging her to take his words to heart.

“He knew it was time. That him going out working was the way he wanted to go, not kicking and screaming. There was no more fighting to be done.”

Applejack swallowed. She had never heard her brother speak so much at once, nor with such heavy tone.

“If that’s what you think... why’re you sitting in this field with me?”

Big Mac laughed.

“Maybe I’m just as stubborn as you are. And I reckon if all the fighting that needs doing is a nice lie down on a good day...”

He ruffled his sister’s mane as if she were a foal again.

“Well, it’s been a busy season.”

~~~~/~~~~~

Everything went black.

/~~~~~

“Applejack? I thought you were working today. Wait, are you okay? You look hur—”

“Five wasn’t enough.”

“What are you talking about, AJ? Five what?”

“...Nothing’s happened yet, has it? That dang spell reset you too... I got some explaining to do.”

~~~/~~~~~

“So you’re saying you’ve already been through these loops? And nothing changed?”

“Happened just like you said it would. Five times I saw my brother die. After the first, I knew it was coming, but no matter what I tried I couldn’t stop it. Fifth time round, I remembered you casting the spell but... it didn’t help. I couldn’t draw the lines. I thought I had.”

~/~~~~~

“There’s a little more. You said I was rushed the first time? Well, I missed something. It’s not much, but...

— ‘To my eternal shame, I am unable to perform that which destiny demands of me, and I am sorry. To those who would follow in my hoofsteps, know this. Destiny will have its way. It simply does not care with whom.’ —

… AJ? Are you okay?”

“I’m just dandy, Twilight. I’m gonna need you to cast that spell again.”

~~/~~~~~

“Applejack... don’t you think you’ve had enough?”

“I’ll have had enough when I can go to sleep knowing my brother’s alive.”

Everything went black.

~~~~~/~

Applejack woke up, a single revelation gripping her above all else.

That’s it. It ain’t enough just to keep him safe.

Blinking away the pain that even the faint rays of the sunrise poking through her curtains caused her, she rubbed at her eyes in a vain effort to rouse herself further.

No time for sleeping, AJ. You’ve got a job to do.

She rolled out of bed, shaking her head free of the cloud that persisted in fugging her mind, and staggered over to the window, yanking the curtains aside. The sudden burst of light made her recoil, but the spots in her eyes soon died and she looked out, a smile creeping onto her face as she took in the sight.

Sweet Apple Acres lay before her, drenched in morning warmth. The well-cut grass waved in the lazy breeze, matching the slow dance of the leaves adorning the apple trees that stretched as far as the eye could see. Shadows stubbornly clung beneath the eaves of the larger buildings as the sun continued its relentless march skywards. The sky itself was cloudless, bar an errant cumulus already being shunted clear by a team of Weather Patrol pegasi.

Applejack nodded to herself, all tiredness forgotten.

It’s a beautiful day in Ponyville. Won’t be the last.

She grabbed her hat, flipped it onto her head, and headed downstairs.

Granny Smith was, as usual, already up; the sound of her eccentric methods of cooking clattering and sizzling from the kitchen. A cantankerous voice joined the racket.

“If you’re gonna stand outside my kitchen, you can help me out in my kitchen!”

Applejack laughed and trotted in, joining her elderly relative at the stove.

“Sorry, Granny, but I just couldn’t help but be stunned by them delicious smells you’re creating.”

“None of your lip, young’un! Come and give your Granny a helping hoof!”

Despite Granny’s insistence that the making of toast and eggs required multiple pans, both stoves, a broken ladle and, at one point, a large hedgehog, breakfast was prepared in good time. Applejack savoured every moment of the calamitous concoction, laughing joyfully at every mishap. As they sat down to eat, Apple Bloom entered, preceded by an enormous yawn.

“M... M... Morning.”

“Hey there, Lil’ Sis! You’re up bright and early. You ain’t helping out today, remember?

Apple Bloom plonked herself into a chair and began nibbling at a slice of toast.

“Sweetie Belle’s with her sister in the afternoon, so we’re crusading early.”

Applejack smiled at her sister’s dedication to her friends. She was glad that Apple Bloom had such good friends as Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo.

“Mac’s in the fields, right?”

Granny rolled her eyes.

“Already out working! I say to him, ‘Listen here, Little Mac—you keep working so hard, you’re gonna get yourself in trouble one day!’ ‘Course, you can guess what he told me.”

“Eeeyup.”

Apple Bloom’s giggle seemed to break Granny’s momentary irritation and the three ponies laughed together. Applejack gulped down the last of her meal, as much as she wished to linger, and stood up, tipping her hat to her family.

“Welp... I’m off. Goodbye, Granny. Thanks for everything. And... Apple Bloom?”

Her sister glanced up at her apprehensively, fearing the usual lecture on safety.

“I’m proud of you. Ain’t never seen a pony so devoted to a cause as you. You enjoy your time with your friends.”

As Apple Bloom stared at her in a mixture of surprise and pride, Applejack left.

~~~~~/~

Applejack wiped the sweat from her forehead, breathing heavily in the bright midday sun.

“Phew! We’re all done.”

Big Macintosh nodded and nudged the large bushel of apples at his hooves.

“Eeeyup.” He then turned and wryly nodded at the hundreds of trees yet to to be bucked. “Aaand nope.”

“Alright, let’s get to it.”

Big Mac hoisted the bushel onto his back and together they strolled purposefully to the nearest tree, an enormous specimen that towered over its brethren. It was one of the first normal apple trees the Apples had planted after settling in the area, and was still producing a fine crop year after year.

Applejack looked it up and down. There was barely any sign of the rot that lay within, and she marvelled at how her brother had been able to detect it, even on close examination. She swallowed. This was the moment.

Big Mac began to move, and Applejack stood aside to let him take position. He eyed the tree, calculating. He turned away from the tree, squaring himself for the kick. He bunched his thick muscles, readying the blow. He glanced in her direction.

She nodded, smiling warmly.

“Do it, Mac.”

Destiny’ll have its way. It just don’t care with who.

Big Mac kicked. Under his powerful hooves, the rotten trunk shattered into sodden splinters, and the great tree toppled toward him. He stared up at the incoming doom, unable to move in his surprise.

Applejack galloped forward on cue and threw herself into his side. She felt his ribs crack, and he stumbled out of the path of the falling tree. The trunk hit her, slamming her to the ground. She cried out in pain as she was crushed beneath the immense weight.

Her brother pulled himself to his hooves and ran to her side, wincing at his broken bones.

“You okay, AJ?!”

Applejack struggled to look into his eyes, vision blurring as her life ebbed away.

“Can’t have you hurting yourself now.”

Her head slumped back to the ground, and the world began to fade away. She could still hear Big Mac crying her name, feel him trying to pull her free. She smiled into the cool grass, content. A life ended, a life defended.

I ain’t gonna live in a world where my brother died to save my life...

But I reckon I can die in one where I saved his.

Everything went black.

Comments ( 93 )
Wanderer D
Moderator

:pinkiegasp: (Space saved for when my brain recovers)

Judging by the title and or Chapter title im going to go out on a limb and say
Applejack dies.

Nicely done. (I rarely say that about MLP fics- in all the ones I have read most have left me sorely disappointed.)

Some work could be done with AJ's dialect- making it a little more pronounced would go a long way. The idea that she would do that for Mac is very in character though.

I am rather confused on the premiss of the fic- how was AJ getting the visions? You mentioned Twilight, and dreaming- so is the reader to assume that she got the visions in an enchanted sleep from Twilight?

Lastly, I love the use of repetitiveness in this. Anaphora and epiphora are literary devices I hardly see used in fanfiction which make a wonderful tool for writing. The last line could be a little more ... eloquent, but perhaps that was purposeful.

Sweet, it's finally up. Arcainum, I'm sure I made my thoughts on this pretty clear while I was editing it, but for the rest of you: This was a beautiful piece on the nature of AJ's and Mac's character and the lengths they're willing to go for each other, along with their own stubborness. The scene between the two of them on the field really was one of the most touching scenes I've read in a while, and that's why I'm still not confident the ending was the right one, even if was just as strong in it's own way.

On a different note, this was my first time editing, so commentary on mistakes I may have made would be appreciated (from anyone, I mean). The biggest changes I recommmended were removing extended explanations on how exactly everything was happening, because they really weren't critical to the story and destroyed the pacing. Everything was still understandable, right? I suppose Arcy or I would be cool with trying to detail the pseudo-physics of it later, but there should be enough information to figure it all out, so I'll wait and see what gets come up with first. The other point I'm curious about is if leaving the end of the fifth segment as purely implied worked. Other than that I look forward to seeing the reaction.

Well ...

Just ... well ...

I don't really know what to say to that. I got chills when I realized what happened, and then the ending...

I can't help but feel happy and sad at the ending. At least she got the second best thing, I suppose...

Damnit Arcainum, I wasn't planning on being depressed tonight. Good job on this.

very well written and sweet to the brink of touch. i give this story a thumbs up. you made the concept awsome, plot was great, and most of all, the inspiring quote you taught me today.

- ‘To my eternal shame, I am unable to perform that which destiny demands of me, and I am sorry. To those who would follow in my hoofsteps, know this. Destiny will have its way. It simply does not care with whom.’ -

i understand stand this phrase fully. when she said this she knew someone was going to die, but as she said it didnt matter WHOM did. it will have its way no matter what. but all in all, great story. :ajsmug:

~Dillan2046~

Good job. That was beautiful.

“Seems like we spend more time fixing up this barn that using it, huh?" <- I think you meant "than", but that's the only thing I found.

Beautiful story, well-written, should've gotten much more attention (From the readers, I mean. Not the writer/editor).

Perfect. And as sad as it is, AJ's actions fit her character to a tee.

On an unrelated note, was this meant for a contest? I recognized the prompt in a couple of other stories on the site a few days back.

750649 Sorry, brain =(

750800 WHO'DA THUNK

750900 Yeah, I kind of tried to make each death a little less involved, to sort of imply that AJ was, despite herself, becoming kind of jaded to the experience (a horrible thing is almost always slightly less horrible the second time, I've found). It wasn't something that I specifically aimed for though, which is why I guess it didn't come across that well.

And yes, time loops are great. This also proves that I am incapable of taking a simple prompt and just USING it. Nope. Godquills and time-travel.

750913 The accent is something I struggled with. I feared over-accenting greatly and I ended up deciding too dry was better than too ridiculous, considering the nature of the fic. As to the physics of it all, that's one legit interpretation! And lastly, yes! Repetition doesn't get used enough. I read a fabulous horror story once that was just the same short description of day in the life of a guy over and over again, with minor changes everytime until everything had gone horribly wrong.

751126 Why does everyone call me Arcy? I mean, Arc I would understand, but Arcy? I sound like a lovable 80s cartoon sidekick. But yeah. This guy. This guy is cool. Everyone should give this guy love. This fic was way worse before he got his hands on it.

751244 Sowwy =(

751300 Thank you! And... yeah, that is a pretty sweet quote ¬_¬

751354 Thank you.

751462 Oh, curses! There's always something.

Heh, ah well. I'm sending it to EqD soon, maybe that'll give it a boost.

751661 Yes! It was originally going to be part of the SALT contest, but I didn't like the picture we were required to use and I ended up liking the fic too much to rush it out, so I backed out.
-----

Thanks for commenting, everyone! I think this is probably my favourite fic as of now, so it's great to get feedback.

Just went through this and I see you really cut down on the Applejack/Twilight scenes. I suppose the other way explained too much and this leaves things more ambiguous.

Either way, this was some excellent writing. When I first went through it, I was going to comment that it had a Groundhog's Day feel but the deeper I went, it started taking on more of a Twilight Zone feel. This is certainly a break away from your normally comedic and slapstick style of writing but you managed to pull it off nicely.

I'm actually glad you restrained yourself from giving Applejack too much of an accent. I've seen some stories where her dialog is filled with more apostrophes than letters! Anyone that has seen the show can fill in her quirky accent themselves is how I go about it.

Very fine fic! This is something to be proud of!

Bout time ths get`s on here, was having enough waiting around. But I guess somthing this good can be taken with a grain of salt.

First of all, congratulations on a wonderful piece of work. This one of the best one-shots (if not THE best) I've read ever since I became a bronie.

Second, you're now on my WATCH LIST! ... Not in a creepy way.

Third, may I be so humble as to suggest a sequel to this? I mean, think about what all this means for the story, Equestria. The loss of an element, Twilight who will be racked with guilt for sure because of her part in all this, Big Mac who shall NEVER KNOW the reason it all happened... Do I have to continue? lol

Meinos Kaen out!

Edit: Also, you're getting reviewed and reccomended on my blog.

I'm a sap for the "heroic sacrifice" schtick.

This was very well done. I thought the reveal of the spell was done at an excellent pace. I knew where it was going, but I was still surprised at the end. I was not expecting the "doesn't care for whom."

Exceedingly good. Bravo.

Good story, but I do not like the message of it. Are you saying that you should be selfish? Applejack did not want to live with the death of her brother, so essentially she committed suicide. She could not deal with the grief, so she decided to escape it without thought about how others would feel?

753270 She was stubborn, not grief-stricken. Like in The Last Roundup, all she could see was what she considered her own failure. Her tragic flaw is her unwillingness to give in. One of them had to die, and she'd rather it be her. It's not that she's running away from the grief, it's that she Honestly considers her actions the lesser of two evils.

I personally consider it more of a character piece - it's about what she thinks, not what I'm trying to say.

EDIT: Thank you for questioning it, though. It's made me think about it more.

753390

Ahh I see. Well it now makes sense to me if you think of it being a sort of definition of her character instead of a piece with a message for readers on how to act. I shall take away that thumb down.

753415 That's very magnanimous of you! Thank you.

I have very few strongly-defined opinions on the world in general, you see! I write (pony or otherwise) because I like to tell stories. I don't know if that means I can never write anything truly worthwhile, but... Well, I'm having fun!

Saw it coming still enjoyed it. have a thumb.:eeyup:

751764 Yeah, I wondered what you'd think when you saw 2000 words just vanish xD Thanks for proof-reading it though! This is probably my most polished fic yet - which is faintly embarassing to say. I seriously don't put enough effort in.

751968 You were having enough? I thought I was going to get this out in, like, two or three days, and it ended up taking more than a week xD Thanks for the compliment though and... well, the prompt in the first place! I know it was a bit cheeky nabbing the prompt and such then just upping sticks.

752980 Thank you kindly! Might I have a link to said blog?

753010 Yes, the pacing of the reveal was one of my major concerns. Exuno ripped about a fifth of the fic out from under me after I showed him the first draft =p As for being a sap for heroic sacrifices... aren't we all? ¬_¬

753772 Yay, thumbs!

That was awesome, once again. I KNEW there was a reason for having you on my watch list. Aside from the lulzy blog posts, of course.

I'm a sucker for well-written stories, especially character pieces like this one. I'd love to see more like this - not time traveling, but deep inspections to each character's... character.

754045 Of course, my friend. Here you go.

Meinos Kaen

One of the best fics I've read in a while. It reminded me of The Butterfly Effect. AJ kept going back to prevent Big Mac's death, but despite her efforts he met the same fate in a different situation.

I thoroughly enjoyed this piece, though I'm not sure what there is to say that hasn't already been said. Everything seemed very in-character and I adore the quote about destiny. I rather liked the ambiguity of the scenes with Twilight and since it's been noted in the comments, I appreciate that you left out writing her accent - it definitely helped with the gravity of the fic and for it to be too emphasized would have been out of place. I really think Applejack is an interesting character and as such I enjoy character fics about her the most. Overall, an excellent one-shot that definitely ears the thumbs-up.

754609 I know, right? I actually wrote something passable! It took me a while, BUT I GOT THERE. Also "lulzy blog posts" <3

755087 Thank you kindly, I shall keep an eye out x)

755277 Five Should Be Enough starring Richard Gere? It could happen.

761621 See, this is why I'm glad I held back and got this edited. You say you liked the ambiguity of the Twilight segments? There's 2000 words of those that got cut =p Applejack is a weird one for me. While I like all the ponies equally, I'd definitely say I think about her the least. The only reason I even wrote this fic was because the picture on the contest was AJ. Anyways, thank you for your feedback! Comments longer than a line are authorial ambrosia.

763558

I was referring to the movie starring Ashton Kutcher and Amy Smart.

763609 Do you know, I have never encountered that film? Which am I thinking of? Wikipedia is failing me.

763641

I honestly have no idea which film you were thinking of.
I saw Richard Gere and was like :rainbowhuh:.
I really liked the movie, but there are mixed views on it.
If you wish to read up on it, here is the IMDb page for the movie.

763776 I swear to God there is a film called something like The Butterfly Effect and it has Richard Gere. I don't even know any more.

I'm scared.

763784

I'm looking through Richard Gere's filmography now.
Hopefully this will put both of us at ease.

763791 ...Now, why didn't I think of that? I'll tell you why.

Because I'm an idiot.

Don't beat yourself up over nothing. Happens to me all the time.:twilightsheepish:
The only thing I found close to the title was The Mothman Prophecies.
I hope this helps.

763816 ...How dreadfully embarassing.

MOTHS ARE JUST NIGHT BUTTERFLIES, RIGHT?

763830

:rainbowlaugh: That's an interesting take on them.
I will no longer refer to them as moths, but instead night butterflies.
Anyway, from what I've read both films are slightly similar, but different nonetheless.

763845 ...Like the loops! See? I'm such a damn genius. I had this all planned out in advance.

Wow.
That story just made love to my brain and I want to have its thought babies.
That was a bit weird way of saying I liked it wasn't it.:twilightblush:

OK. Serious now. I loved the concept and it really fit with the characters.:ajsmug::ajbemused::ajsleepy: Gotta ask though.
Mac was in the middle of an open area with nothing to fall on him. What did you envisioned as the way he died the 5th time?

Wow... Just wow... I think my mind has just been blown.
My hat's off to you.

I HATE YOU I HATE YOU YOU BASTARDDDDDDDD
:pinkiesad2:
:fluttercry:

This, this is beautiful. The idea, the way it's written, portrayed, the characters, the emotion, the stress, the tension. A masterpiece, I cried, AJ is my favourite character, and I love her in oh so many ways (platonically). This must be in my top three favourite/best fanfics; this isn't repetitive, the way the love between a family and the desperate situation Applejack is in is shown. I'm emotional and sensitive; though I said it before I want to say it again, I cried. I would hug you if I met you, and more hugs. Thank you for this story, thank you.
It's on Equestria Daily, too.

I liked this. Normally I would have just written it off (it's been done once before in "The Best NIght Ever", which is one of the single best pieces of MLP fanfiction out there - I recommend it if you haven't seen it), but this is good, solid writing. I knew what would happen here, but it was worth it for the story.

That said, there wasn't a whole lot of "wow" or deep, original insight. This sort of time-cycle fic doesn't need much of those to be a fantastic piece of writing as long as it's well thought-out. This sort of fic has a bunch already built-in. But without them*, this is sort of predictable, and lacks "wow" to someone familiar with this sort of fic.

Edit: *"without new ones too"

Lo author. Congrats on the posting.

amazing story, and now i'm sad. :raritydespair:
I really wanted AJ to succeed (though I guess you can say she still did), still a part of me knew this would happen.

And Time Loops!!! :rainbowderp:
Why didn't I think of that? It's genius!

edit: And than AJ woke up in the hospital. She was dead, but only for a few minutes. Big Mac was able to lift the tree with his great strength; the "curse" was broken. And the reader didn't have an enormous amount of feels, except those of happiness.

Now I have to go cheer myself up. Why must this story be so good that I keep visiting it?

It's been a while since I've seen a time loop fic, and this is one of the better ones here. Nice job. 3/5 stars.

Ponyfied version of "If Only" (Movie) . Brilliant ^^

Well, another sad fic down the drain. Whenever I bring myself to reading a fic at all it always comes down to a sad fic.:raritydespair: Brain, why do you do this to me. It was a great fic and I loved it, I'm sad that AJ died :ajsleepy:. I guess she died the way she wanted to, protecting her family:ajsmug:

Sads, I have them.

Commenting because I simply MUST KNOW what went wrong in the lay-in-the-field loop! It's not explained! What happened? How did it happen? Why didn't it work? I hate loose ends. Gotta know! Did Big Mac meet his end, just dropped dead? Did a meteor fall from the sky? Did they both stay safe but the fire proceeded as expected and wiped out Apple Bloom and Granny? Did the spell kick in prematurely and reset the day because he was gonna be safe and that wasn't acceptable? Hopefully I've translated my desperate dissatisfaction through text here... :pinkiegasp:

Also, what does 5 have to do with anything?

Great story - the ending made me so sad though. :applecry: But I think that's the type of pony Applejack is - I totally think she'd do that for any member of her family.

Reminds me a bit of a book I read - "Before I Fall" - by Lauren Oliver. If you haven't read it, you might like it.

Comment posted by Shiver deleted Feb 25th, 2014
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