- Member Since 3rd Dec, 2014
- offline last seen May 9th, 2021
Harmony Split
Love has no desire but to fulfill itself. To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night. To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving
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Must you misspell my name?
Anyway, looking forward to more, as usual. 
6841845 She only uses half of my name! I think we're both getting bucked here. But totally worth it! Can't wait for more! ... wait... I should probably get on that then.
Wee! I'm in comment/editing mode. Some stuff (not really exhaustive) that distracted me:
This sentence flows uneasily. Particulary important because it is in the first paragraph.
No need to restate. Also, this is a strange change of perspective (implicitly though).
Hmm, perhaps use another words, an allusion or just remove it. It is not necesary to be this repetitive.
I feel there's a missing verb. Yes, even if 'decided' was put there. And the last clause doesn't really fit as it is.
This would sound better if it were in past perfect or hadn't 'all day.'
Sometimes description works and sometimes does not. Two words of advice: consistency and pacing.
Take everything with a grain of salt and have fun writing.
6841845
Look what 8 wrote and edit better
6842582
Thx, Donny will look over it
6843153 I'll go through it when I've got a few minutes.
6842582 All valid observations, thanks for bringing them up. ^^
6843153 Scratch... I think we need to have a meeting with the editors, after reading over that guy's previous findings.
Ah, embarrassed Dashie is always adorable!
why didn't she jest fly ?
I know why, but how did they know not to do that ?
7479673
Just like Daring didn't fly in the official episode
7481723 her wing was broken
7481731
Look closer. Even before she mostly used the ground. Reason: traps
What's the next chapter going 2 have ?
7497544 Wellllllll.... since you asked so nicely... IT'S A SECRET.... SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. IT'S A SECRET.... SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. IT'S A SECRET.... SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. IT'S A SECRET.... SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
7502684
*whacks the duck over the head*
IT'S A SECRET!
What makes this better is the fact that Twi is reading this at home... pfft, poor nerd.
Pfft, yeah. Poor nerd pony.
...Rainbow Dash doesn't have sex with a book in this story, right?
8809564
No.....
I... had forgotten about this story until you posted this.
Your plans for a sequel meet with much approval!
I love this story