Frytke Hvile has been alone for most of his life. Sure, he had his family, but most of his friends were all adults save a few peers, and every attempt at love had ended in heartbreak. He used to cry a lot, too, but the tears were long gone now. Now, he's in his third year at Canterlot High, and he still hasn't found anyone to hold, to care, and to love. But then, a chance meeting with an abrasive, rash, and hot-tempered girl changes his life.
Sex tag is for steamy moments, (lots of) innuendos, and implied intercourse.
WARNING: Guts, blood, and gore ahead.
EDIT: Huge thanks to GodofBBQ for the major help and for agreeing to cowrite this story with me!
Chapters (1)
Really wish everyone would tell me what I did wrong. Honestly, it isn't that hard.
So far, I think it's pretty good. also I've noticed that you didn't put your story in the PomE library. Go ahead and drop it in there. I'm sure everyone would love to see your story.
6750236 I thank thee for reminding me, kind sir.
6750968 No problem dude, let me know if you need anymore help.
Alchemy is everything alright?
Alchemy:Ya I just like the guy.
Really.
Alchemy:Ya anyways nice chapter blue.
Look forward to seeing where this story goes.
Like you said, it is on the short side, but this is a descent start. I can't wait to see more.
Warhawk: By the way, I do agree with Frytke stance on bullies, but I'm pretty sure that Blueblood doesn't fall into that category, given he's an entitled deuce.
6759152 Good to hear. As for the size of the chapters, they might fluctuate, depending on how long it takes for me to achieve the goal of that chapter. And I would agree as well.
6759144 Happy to hear it!
i like it so far its got a great start.
Fang: as well boss the character making friends with Gilda just like that was pretty neat.
i agree with you on that, oh before i forget just wanted to say welcome to the PoME library.
Treble: Another guy to screw! Welcome to the S.S. Motherf*cker!
I was hoping they would start as Fre-nemies for a while, then their relationship develops into something more. That's my only gripe, how fast your OC gets attracted to the Main Gal. Anyway, it's still a good start, looking forward to see more.
Treble: Wait, didn't that happen to me as well?
Yeah but you're comic relief, so you're excluded.
Also how do you pronounce the name?
6759246 Like Frict. And I had my worries about it as well, but I wanted to show that Frytke has a big heart, especially towards bullies and people with depression and emotional baggage. He tends to believe bullies should get a chance, as he...well, I'll just show you later in the story why he thinks that way. Not sure when, but it will be shown. Also, just a heads up, Frytke only knows Soul and Sunset, and doesn't hangout with them enough to know the rest of the gang. His only other friends are the school staff, especially those at the district offices, like Mr. Discord in your story.
6759245 Thanks, I appreciate it.
6759262 Would Frytke Hvile and Gilda like to join The PoME Reaction Show?
6759274 Sure, what exactly is it though?
6759276
this
the story is unpublished and will stay that way
A Gilda story YAY!
Artemis: Welcome to the family Frytke, glad to have you.
Great start can't wait for more.
great chapter, I look forward to more. and I didn't really see any problems with it in my opinion. I actually liked how frytke is trying to help gilda instead of shunning her away.
Mise: yeah, I always thought there was something more to her, but I always had my eyes on octy
anyway, great job, and welcome to the family
6759747 Thank you very much.
Frytke: Yes...very much...*creepy foreshadowing grin*
6759998 you're welcome
Mise: *smirks* if you're trying to creep me out, you're going to have to do better than that, but its a start
6760024 Better luck next time, Frytke. But please, no more teasing the fans with promise of mayhem. That's my job.
Frytke: *pouts* Killjoy...
6760042 I think we're going to get a long great
Mise: yeah, I like the new guy, he seems interesting
6760051 I believe so as well. Just don't look in my closet. Or my attic. Or my basement. Or my kitchen. Actually, you know what? Just don't come to my house.
Frytke: But we could have so much fun!
No Frytke. Just no.
6760087 yeah, I think i'll pass
Mise: sorry, but you're more than welcome at my house
6760095 Great! I'll be sure to bring only the essentials.
Frytke: Yeah, the essentials.
In other news, the second chapter is almost done. Might finish it today. Might.
6760137 cool, question do you or frytke drink?
well I look forward to it, whenever it comes out
6760145 Nah, we don't.
Gilda's adorable...Did I just say that?
Artemis: Yes boss you just said that.
Oh well it true, Nice chapter Bluemoon.
That's adorable of how you wrote Gilda this chapter
Rapid: Did you just say that gilda's cute like cosmic said as well?
Yes i'm saying that good chapter Bluemoon.
6760356 Thanks, I try.
6760309 Thanks.
I was debating whether or not to make her punch him like a tsundere woman would, but I decided against it.
Ok that was strangely cute.
Alchemy: really you too.
What the chapter was good and and a cute moment.
6760514 I try. I seem to have a knack for making tough girls cute. Probably because I can see through their bullshit.
It's nice, though I do recommend a bit more of buildup before they become a couple, it does feel a bit too fast.
6762091 Did I say they were a couple yet? Cause they ain't. That ain't happening for some time. But I do agree, it is a bit fast. Considering a slight rewrite. Maybe.
I agree with Skeleton, too fast.
ALSO WHERE IS MY LOUD MOUTHED OC?!
6762161 Once again, Frytke only knows the staff at the district, the principals, the janitor, Gilda, and Soul and Sunset. He doesn't know anyone else from the school, nor does he associate with them. He might in later chapters, but that's some time away. Also, I realized from the moment I made this that the story was going by fairly quickly, and I apologize for that. But once again, I ask you, "Did I say they were a couple yet?" The answer? No. No I did not. I plan to make this chapter go more slowly from now on, or at least show that some time has passed. So far I've only been giving you guys moments when they are intimate. Not the actual hookup. I plan to at least have the same number of chapters another author had before their couple actually hooked up or went on a date, or even exceed them in the amount. But it will take time. For me, figuring out what they can do to pass the time in between the plot heavy chapters or even regular plot related chapters that slowly get to the climax is hard for me. Really hard. But, as of this coming Cvhristmas, I have decided to try and focus more on my stories, which means more timely updates. This may also mean a drop in quality, but that remains to be seen. Not that I don't have my doubts. Anyway, I just ask that you all please be patient while I come up with solutions and make the story better. Sorry if I got salty.
6762161 Umm...Ragga, in the future, please don't ask that to writers with fics comin out, even as a joke, some may take it as something incredibly rude. Authors don't need every OC to make an appearance in their fic.
6762339 Alright. Sorry.
6762116 No, no, i wasn't implying they were a couple yet, sorry.
6762116
If you do a rewrite, theirs no shame, I had to rewrite the first four chapters of my story three times, I think? Anyway, just keep doing what your doing, because so far it's pretty good.
6762361 I...sorry, I tend to get...extreme, at times. Par for the course with being slightly bipolar.
6762363 Thank you, I try my best.
6762408 Alright, alright, let's forget abouth this, and well, rewrites aren't bad, I mean, i had to scrap my whole story and start from scratch, so yeah... thats something
6762414 As good a point as any. Thank you.
Alright, as of now, this story is going under a complete rewrite. The new chapters will not be released until they have been proofread and approved by me and said proofreader(s), so expect a very, very long downtime on this story.
Just refer to me as Ragga_Muffin or just _Muffin. I change names every month xD
6858962 No promises.
I'm really enjoying this one so far. My only slight complaint is the length of the chapters. But again, loving this one.
6877178 Thank you, I appreciate it.