• Member Since 29th May, 2014
  • offline last seen 6 hours ago

Timeless Lord Slayer


"The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts." - Bertrand Russell.

T

A 19 year old boy was simply walking around his neighborhood at early morning, as he had done for many years. Imagine his surprise when a woman gives him a pencil in return for a hug. Imagine his surprise when he suddenly finds himself in Equestria, where every word he writes, becomes real.

Well, nearly.


The amount of gore will be light in as many areas as I can manage, but I might make mistakes. Sex will not be shown in this story, it will be hinted at and implied at some points, and all that jazz. But again, it will not be shown. The crossover tag is for things that may or may not be shown later in the story.

This story is one I'm likely going to focus most of my time on, no matter how many new stories spawn from me in the future. This one just provides so much opportunity that I simply couldn't pass it up, and I doubt I'll be able to resist writing it for any overly long stretch of time.

Though, of course, it being me, a lot could happen to hold me back, but hey, I'll try to keep a schedule with this one.

Also, yes, I'm sorry, but this is a Displaced story. I really have gotten hooked on the idea of Displaced. Can't seem to get the bug out. :applejackunsure: Ah well.

Oh, and don't worry my friends, this won't be one of those super OP Displaced that many dislike. If it becomes OP, well, that will very likely be pretty far down the road of this story. And don't expect a cut-and-paste adventure 'Hero defeats villain' either.

Chapters (8)
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Comments ( 95 )

I'd suggest using a normal-sized font for the first part of the description for the comfort of the readers, but other than that it looks interesting in concept.

8960050 I mainly made the font big out of embarrassment for writing so big of a rant below. Wanted to hide it. But okay.

8960063
Trust me - it will be better received if you use a normal-size font. Otherwise it screams. Literally.

The second part is fine. There is no shame in explaining goals here.

8960063
This description is now much more pleasant to read. Thank you kindly for taking the advice.

I am certain that your readers will appreciate it, too - even if they don't say it out loud.:twilightsmile:

Did you make him a more convenient if heavily nerfed version of the Author from Once Upon a Time?

The chapters are a little short for my liking, but im definitely intrigued by the idea and the quality of writing so far.

I'm looking forward to future chapters.:twilightsmile:

8960259 In a way. Though I can't say I know much of the show, despite my mother watching it frequently.

This story is so awesome! I can't wait for the next Chapter to come out!

8961240 Well, there you go then. Chapter straight out th' gate!

I know that the Chapters are short, but I didn't think that they would come straight out of th' cannon!

8961471 Well, I do have a portable Writing Cannon, so, yeah. Happens when you got one o' those.

Two chapters in one day! Yeeeeeesssssss!:pinkiehappy:

"What, the cursed Darkdrift?" Qudirk queried. He waved a hand dismissively. "Ah, it's harmless."

Dark souls 3!!!?

8962300 Yup. Though Darkdrift made an appearance first in Dark Souls 2.

Well, I finally got around to reading this first chapter, and I must say I'm impressed.

For an introduction for this type of story, it is spotless. :moustache:

I especially liked it how you changed the means of displacement for our main character, and who's the brother he referred to?

Mysteries to be read about in future releases!

I'll be tracking and faving this, as the concept is interesting.

8963876 Thank you, I tried quite hard to get it all down! I hope you continue to enjoy the story, I have lots of little surprises in store~! :scootangel:

Is there any reason why Abrina’s name is basically Sabrina without the S? Also is she going to have any inherent magical abilities beyond the patented Majin candy beam?

8964341 There are reasons, yes, ones which will be answered later in the story. As for her abilities, well, considering how her progenitor, Buu, is essentially made up of magical bubblegum or taffy or what have you, and he can make clones and warp and shift his body as well as absorb things... Well, I think you get the picture, yes?

Okay, I read this chapter - it is quite the departure from how most stories go.

I'll have to wait and see where you want to take this story.:yay:

8964573 Indeed. I still have a fair bit of surprises to show, though. :pinkiecrazy:

I have to admit, this is a neat story with an engaging premise.

Though I must inquire...

Will there be a point where we get to know Q's past in more detail, as a small flashback? The teasing of details has kept my brain preoccupied to date.:moustache:

8964621 Oh very much so, I wouldn't be so cruel nor inattentive as to leave such a large picture like that out of the view of others.

My only complaint would be how does he know swordmanship. Did he write it down to affect him? Was he a member of a medieval combat club like Schola Gladiatoria in youtube?

Other than that, the feels indeed.:fluttercry:

8964635 Ah, yes, that. No worries, that will also be explained in the future.

So, it'll be a slice-of-life story?

I'm in!

As for criticisms... hmmm. There isn't much to be said about this chapter, besides the comment I made in the last chapter. I am intrigued as to where you're going with this story.

And he's still working on the Token - we'll have to wait for the next chapter to see what he ends up with.

In short, nice story - and even nicer that the guy's not a perv.:rainbowlaugh::moustache:

PS: Was it just me, or was Celestia a little flustered and jealous of all things?

8964654
Why wasn't I notified of all your replies? :rainbowderp:

You answered me, yet there were no notifications until I saw the answers in the story description comments. :pinkiegasp:

8964661 Well, for the Token, I wouldn't worry about it being, well, used all that much. Or any crossovers being particularly common, either. I'm trying to focus more on the story itself, to be honest. As for your final question... Well, I'll just give you this. :ajsmug:

8964673
That is good - only use crossovers if they help the plot along, not derail it. And even then keeping them optional is for the best.:moustache:

I was just going to ignore this in hopes that it would have been a one time mention, but...Canterlot, being built on the side of a mountain, really isn't connected to any forests. And the most 'foresty' place seen is the castle gardens, which is more hedge rows than trees.

8969193 No one said creative licensing couldn't be taken to some degree. Furthermore, many mountains contain forests around and on them. Just because we don't see any on the mountain in the show doesn't mean there aren't any. Still, I thank you for pointing it out. I'll make sure to make it seem more believable next time.

Still, he kept such thoughts to himself for the most part, and instead continued to tinker - or rather scribble on - with his experiments. Recently, just a scarce few months ago, he had used a chunk of his mana just to see if he could create some form of life, and to his surprise, it worked. He had created a golem, small though it was. It was made of simple hewn stone, with a light blue, glowing gem as it's core.

Remove the glowing core and you get this

8971486
Well, "Thaumcraft 4" has golem upgrades and one of them is a top hat. Looks pretty awesome.

8973154 I see. Well, I'm just glad I succeeded in making you intrigued. :twilightsmile:

Shoving a sword into the soil usually causes dents in the blade, but I'm willing to forgive it 'cause it is a 'magical sword'. :pinkiecrazy:

To be fair, this chapter and the previous one didn't sit right with me. It probably had to do with the guy's foreknowledge of what was going to happen, or his lack of faith on the equines' capabilities as he felt the need to keep an eye on Twilight and Spike.

As a bigger point, I found them boring - I believe these two chapters could've been condensed into one, as the two Displaced didn't actually play a big part in this event. I would've rather read about their bonding with Celly, Caddy and Twi's family than this two chapters.

Well, enough nit-picking. Despite the flaws it was good - specially for one who didn't remember, or isn't fully familiar with the trope that you portrayed here.

Hope to read more from you.:yay:

PS: I know you replied to me in your blog - but by the time I checked, it sent me an error due to it being deleted. What was your reply?

8978195 Something along the lines of "you have a point, I'm just insecure." Also, I thank you for the feedback. I hadn't thought of looking at the chapters that way, only that I needed to show Luna's return in some way, so I went the long way. As for his foreknowledge, I can understand that too, though I do recall hinting at it earlier in the story. Perhaps I should make the hint more obvious... Hm, well, either way, I thank you.

8978220 If you have concerns you wish to voice, please, feel free to PM me.

8978222
Lol, at the time I wrote my previous comment, it only involved the statement about you agreeing with me, yet being insecure about it concerning the blogpost. Thus my reaction.

However, thanks for fleshing out your response - I can assure you: not all the chapters that one writes can be winners. Just sayin'. :moustache::yay:

As for the hinting... yeah, it is there. Derp me. XD

8978227 Fair enough. Still, I feel I must thank you for always being so helpful and kind. Do let me know if there is ever something I can do for you. :twilightsmile:

8978229
As long as you keep your work in this story engaging with goals in mind, I'm more than happy with the results. :yay:

...

But I wouldn't say no to an update of The Storm Queen, if possible. :trollestia::rainbowlaugh:

8978244 I can do that. Almost done with the next chapter for it anyways.

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