Words in red are comentary
///////////////////////////////////////\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
This takes place towards the beginning when Shiro is still a pony and meeting several residents of town. Twilight and Rainbow Dash showing him around.
“That's Carrot top.” Twilight said, “She grows some of the best vegetables you've ever tasted.”
I looked over and saw the pony in question talking to a mint green unicorn, “Is that Lyra?”
Twilight looked at me like I was crazy for the... damn I lost count.
“How... never mind. I swear you're like another Pinkie Pie. Yes that's Lyra heartstrings. She's a... where are you going?!”
I had to test a theory. One that every good brony dreams of doing. I approached the lyrist and asked, “Excuse me, Ms. Heartstrings?”
“Yes, that's me. Can I help you.” she asked.
“I have a question.” I began, “What would your response be is I said... human.”
Her eyes went wide as she looked back and forth before locking on something behind me. Then... she facehoofed.
“Did you say human?!” I turned to face the owner of this new voice, “Hi I'm Bon Bon. Head of the Ponyville chapter of the Humares.”
Well, I'm kinda disappointed.
**********************************************
Originally I was going to end CH after Razor's birth. Everything that happened after (as in the temple, the depressing shit, and the Tartarus gate) was going to be the sequel. It was also going to take place four years after instead of a year and a half. This was going to be the original opening.
I took my seat and waited for my ancient magics class to start. I was seated next to Silver Dust, a unicorn majoring in transmutation. We've only known each other for about a week so we're not exactly good friends, but we hang out between classes at times. I was kind of excited because Jynx was giving a special lecture today on crystal magic.
The lovely mare walked into the class and set down her bags, “OK students, quiet down.”
“Dude,” Silver whispered to me, “That's gotta be the hottest professor at this school.”
I suppress my laughter enough to answer, “Hell yeah she is. I bet you twenty bits I can get her to kiss me.”
“Yeah right,” He chuckled, “No way she'd go for your ugly mug. You're on.”
Naturally, I already knew everything being lectured on, so I just fantasized about being the naughty student being “punished” by his sexy teacher. I made a note to ask Pinkie to babysit in the morning. After two hours, class was over. We waited for everyone else to leave before getting up.
“That was an interesting lecture Ms. Charm.” I said.
Jynx quirked an eyebrow at me. I gestured toward Silver with my eyes while rubbing my thumb across my fingers in the universal sign for money. Most ponies don't get what it means (with not having fingers and what not) buy Jynx has been around me for long enough. A look of comprehension came over her.
“Well, Mr. Tora, I'm glad you enjoyed it,” she fell right into the role.
“I must say,” I continued, “You're the hottest teacher I've ever seen.”
Saying Silver was shocked would be like saying the surface of the sun is warm. His jaw couldn't have fallen anymore while he still had bones in his face.
“Why thank you,” Jynx replied, “Do you want to make out?”
“Yes I do,” I grabbed the teacher and pressed my lips against hers in a passionate kiss.
Turned out I was wrong about his jaw... that or he lost a few bones.
I pulled away and looked at Silver, “You owe me twenty bits.”
The door opened and a white blur launched itself at Jynx, “Mommy!”
I turned to face the alicorn that followed, “Thanks Cadence.”
“Oh, it was my pleasure,” she assured me, “I love the little guy.
“That's good, oh and your wings are made of fire,” I said.
The princess examined her now fiery appendage and said, “Yeah, he sneezed and poof. I kinda like it though. Can't fly with it but I don't fly much anyway so I'm going to keep it for a day. I want to see what Shining thinks.”
“He might find it... hot,” I chuckled.
“Oh, goddess,” Cadence laughed, “I can definitely see him getting... fired... up about it.”
“Come on,” Jynx said, rolling her eyes, “They're not that... cool.”
“I see what you did there,” I said, “Nice.”
Cadence walked over to Silver and poked him with a hoof, “These things are getting so realistic.” At the contact, Silver turned toward Cadence and blinked. The royal foalsitter jumped behind me and yelled, “Holy hoof, It's a alive!”
*************************************************
This was going to take place when Shiro returned from his adventure with Daring and Echo. Pinkie throws a welcome back party and Dash decides to say hi to her favorite explorer.
“So, what was it like?” Pinkie asked with her usual enthusiasm.
I laughed and said“First we found a bunch of pictures detailing my life in Equestria. Then we fought a bunch of shadow things. After that we stayed in a luxury, five star suite in the ancient temple where I had a freaky dream about waking up back on earth. After that I had to chose to let either Jynx or Razor die. And then I talked to a god. You know, normal.”
“Ha, ha, ha, “Daring said as she came up beside me, “And I thought my life was weird.”
“Ohmygosh!” Midnight came barreling in with a massive grin plastered on his face, “You're really here! This is so awesome! Can I get an autograph?”
“Sure kid,” Darring said as she pulled a pen from her jacket. Midnight handed her a copy of her most recent book for her to sign. After she finished she gave it back. “I always have time for a fan.”
“Well in that case...”
At the sound of the voice behind her, Daring's eyes widened with shock and a touch of fear. She slowly turned around to see the multi-colored mane, cyan coat, and magenta eyes of Rainbow Dash. I watched in utter confusion.
“R-R-Rainbow Dash...” Daring stuttered, “Um... what are you doing here? The judge said you're not suppose to be within a hundred meters from me.”
Wait, What!
“But this is my sister's and brother-in-law's house,” Dash said with a very disturbing grin.
“What dafuq is going on here?” I interrupted, “You have a restraining order against Dash?”
“Yeah,” Daring said, “She stalked me for three months. One day I found her in my house, putting my socks in a bag.”
I facepawed, “Dashie, you're sick.” I looked back to Daring and asked, “If she behaves herself and leaves you alone are you okay with her staying?”
Daring glared at the pegasus, “If she pretends I'm not even here, then fine.”
I gave my sister-in-law a stern look, “Dash, if you so much as look at Daring, so help me, I'll permanently fuse Rarity's girliest dress to you.”
The look of pure terror was enough to assure me she wouldn't be a problem.
Uhm, I have a question, when are you gonna get back to the dawn shield? And dafuq you mean sequel?!
nothing much to say rofl xD
1924411 I'm still working on part 4 of Dawn Shield, but have a bit of writers block with that one. If I can get past this one part the rest should be easy.
I announced the sequel a while ago. I have part of the prelude written, but need a bit more before it's ready to be revealed
Lolz... everywhere
totally want to read the entire story again
edit: i wish i could fav more than once
1924685 You could always make a second account
I don't know where our world's version of the mirror pool is, but I do know where you can get some mind control serum and some monkeys
this got 60 chapters, someone tell me if it is good because going trough 60 chapters of something which is not is never entertaining (i do not let fic halfway trough out of respect for the authors and in hope it gets better....unless is painfull to read)
1925787 I'll tell you this, my grammar isn't that good (it's not that bad either). Most people can look past it, but a few have trouble. Other then that, it's mostly comedy and crazy, over-the-top action (think Dragon Ball Z). The main character starts to be kinda a Gary Stu, but for a reason, and it doesn't last forever. There is clop, but it's put at the end of the chapters it's in, and I give warnings so it can be skipped if you don't like it.
1925986 fair nuff, ill give it a read
1926032 I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it
1925986 Yeah, your grammar does oft leave something to be desired. We still love you though...
Oh yeah, Shiro is Gary Stu...but that Gypsy magic you practice with Pinkie Pie somehow changes him into a one-chaos-beast show of psychotic hilarity!
As for this stuff, Y U NO make it canon? Put it in the story! Especially Stalker-Dash...
First of all, AWESOME story!
Second; there's something that's been bugging me ever since I finished it; this story is rated mature because of the clop in it, but that's really only in a handful of the chapters. Have you ever considered posting a clean version of it? Seems to me it would take a matter of minutes (barring any complications of which I am unaware). Think about it: simply go to the chapters with clop, highlight, delete, slap a Teen rating on it and repost as new story titled CH: PG-13 version or something.
Now, I know you are probably thinking 'why bother with that?' but hear me out. When I first came across this story, I saw the 80+ Chapters and the Mature tag and thought "By Celestia's Beard, this guy wrote the 50 shades of gray of FimFiction." Since I wasn't that keen on reading THAT much clop I was hesitant to read it at first (I was happily surprised that I was wrong about what I though was in the story). But, what ALMOST stopped me from reading it may have been enough for others. Those scant few clop scenes, or more specifically the Mature tag that they necessitate, may be driving away several fans that would otherwise jump right into reading it.
I know I just seem like I am rambling, but I do seriously believe that this story could be getting even more of the attention it deserves if not for the aforementioned hindrance.
But, all that is just one brony's opinion. Response would be greatly appreciated. But, if it please you, treat it merely as a passing statement. Hope this comment finds you well. Addict Out.
1928883 I took your advice to heart and reposted the clop scenes in a separate story, and removed them from this. Thanks for the idea.
1946955 Congratulations, you're the first one to get that reference. You win 20 internets
1956811 It's from the show "Pinky and the Brain", except that Pinky was talking about hippo's in two-twos
1956861
I remember that show from my childhood.
Good times, good times
1966301 It's not that it is a disadvantage to be human, it's the lack of magic and super strength that is bad.
I Laughed so hard on that last part.
Hell it might even me funnier than this:
imageshack.us/a/img62/962/1wvivjqnv0qafhqe6dhdjg2.gif
More epic than this:
imageshack.us/a/img856/510/0d2.gif
And deserves this:
imageshack.us/a/img28/8592/1d2.gif
well... the reflecting pool is inside the everfree- protected/ blocked by tom. The location should be near the rim of the forest.
Oh please don't tell Twilight where the mirror pool is. She enjoyed her own clopfic too much already.
unicorn majoring in transmutation.
wait, is he a ponified version of Ed Elric?
Haha that was good, but I'm so confused with the one with silver in it.