Reboot Preview
Chapter 1: Hello, Equestria
Have you ever had one of those dreams that suddenly, and without warning, became a nightmare? Like a dream about a couple of cute topless redheads in a hot tub that ends up with them removing your... ahem... 'manly pride'.
I was a man with many dreams; starting a family, being a game designer, being a martial arts instructor, and, like most bronies, visiting Equestria to name a few. Only one of those listed remains unfulfilled...
I never became a game designer.
Every other thing on that list, I accomplished. I have a loving wife and three wonderful children, I have a very successful martial arts school, and I accomplished both in Equestria.
You might be asking yourself, “Why the talk about dreams becoming nightmares? You seem to have it pretty good.”
You're right, I do. However, it didn't start out like that. In fact, my first day in Equestria was an absolute nightmare.
It all started one strange morning...
--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---
A shaft of light interrupted my pleasant slumber as it pierced through my window and homed in on my closed eyes. I let out a low growl and rolled over, intent on hiding from that evil fireball called Sol.
A couple of minutes later, when my brain finally started to wake up, I noticed a couple things wrong. First, my window faced west, so there was no way the morning sun should wake me. Second, when last I checked, my bed wasn't made of mossy stone.
Slowly, I opened my eyes, intent on solving this mystery. Glancing around, I found myself sleeping on a large, moss covered boulder in the middle of the woods. My brain still wasn't quite awake enough to properly process this information, so I pushed myself into a sitting position.
Still trying to figure out what was going on, I scratched an itch behind my ear with a foot and took a look around. It was a simple forest of mostly oak trees, with a layer of autumn leaves on the...
Something hit me like a bucket of bricks...
Something I just did that was wholly unusual...
Ever so slowly, I reached my left foot up...
And scratched behind my left ear.
I turned to face the anomaly and blinked several times in utter confusion.
I stared at the furry appendage for several long seconds. A part of me realized this was my leg, but the rest couldn't believe it. After all, my leg wasn't furry, and it certainly wasn't shaped like that.
My eyes followed the leg-that-couldn't-be-mine down to an equally furry body. The white fur stood out exquisitely with the darker surroundings, and the black stripes accented the snowy fur beautifully.
I was at such a loss, I couldn't even begin to comprehend my situation, so I laughed.
The mind is a truly amazing machine. It has so many ways to protect itself, that we are still trying to understand them all.
One method of self defense the mind has is simple denial. It will deny the 'truth' presented if it's too much to handle and substitute its own. Naturally, my mind denied the truth of my furry, striped leg and decided that I was either bat-shit crazy, or simply dreaming.
And dreaming is so much easier to accept.
With a laugh, I jumped off my 'bed' and landed on all fours. Yet more proof that this was just a lucid dream was the fact that I didn't even have to think about walking around on four legs, I just did. After all, I had read plenty of stories to know that there's always a mandatory 'tripping over your own feet' moment in these stories.
So, there I was, padding around some random forest, just taking in the sights. After about ten minutes of trees, flowers, and birds, as lovely as they were, I started to get a little bored.
“What should I make this?” I thought out loud. I figured if this was a lucid dream, I might as well have some fun with it.
Maybe a zombie apocalypse? Or something kinda sexy... Oh! Jedi Mal fighting the Reaper invasion! That last one had me laughing a bit.
Just then, I heard what sounded like talking as a flash of movement passed overhead. Curious to see if my Firefly/Star Wars/Mass Effect fantasy started already, I climbed up the tallest tree I could find. It felt rather weird to be digging claws I never had into the living wood, but I thought nothing of it at the time. When I reached the top, I peered over the forest. I couldn't see that much, considering there were quite a few trees nearly as tall, and a couple even taller. However, I did see what looked like the roofs of buildings that seemed more fitting in a fantasy, with bright thatching, a little ways away. Whatever it was that flew overhead was already gone, so I decided to head toward the town.
Maybe I'll find some friendly villager that will direct my to the Ice Rod every time I try to talk to him. I giggled laughed a manly laugh at my corny joke.
So, I jogged off, a bit of a skip in my step, in the hopes of adventure and fun. As I went, I started to hear voices, so I knew I was getting close. Finally, I came to the edge of the woods. Now, when I say the 'edge', I mean the edge. In a way that only a dream can do, the forest just stopped abruptly a few feet in front of me.
From my position, I could finally see who was talking; three familiar youngsters... Or, at least, I figured it was them. Granted, they didn't look quite like they did in the show, but there was no mistaking the Cutie Mark Crusaders. Applebloom was the same canary yellow with the red apple mane and big pink bow, though she was noticeably bulkier than the other two, muscle wise. Sweetie Belle was taller than the others, and her mane shifted gradually from lavender to pink as opposed to a hard border between the two colors, but she was still her. Scootaloo was smaller, with much bigger wings than the show depicted, but like the others, was still recognizable.
All three also had much smaller eyes than the show, though still about three times as big as a similarly sized human. Also, their legs weren't quite as stubby. It was as if my mind was trying to make them more realistic. Oh, well. I liked the cartoon versions, but these were equally adorable. That said, I decided to do what any sane person would do when confronted with the Trio of Adorable Destruction; hug them.
I leaped from the woods and bound straight for them, a huge grin plastered on my face. The filly's eyes snapped to me, eyes widening in terror before letting out a screeching wail of fear and taking off in the opposite direction.
Immediately, my smile vanished in my confusion. Why would they be scared of me in my dream? Shouldn't they have been happy to see me, and gladly return the gesture?
These questions were answered in the worst possible way as a multicolored blur slammed into me, sending me flying several feet away, landing quite painfully. This told me two very important things. First, it told me I wasn't dreaming. Contrary to popular belief, one can feel pain in dreams, though anything more than a small twinge will usually jar you awake instead. This was much, much more than a small twinge. The second thing it told me was that Best Pony was real... and she was about to kick my ass.
I twisted around midair just in time to see her hind legs rocket towards my face.
Fuck my life...
--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---
In all my life back on Earth, I never had a hangover. Sure, I drank, but never got drunk. I would get a little tipsy and stop there. Therefore, I didn't really know what a hangover felt like, but if it felt anything like the headache I had upon waking up, I knew I made the right choice in avoiding them.
“Ugh... my head,” I uttered quietly as I stirred awake.
I started to sit up as I rubbed my temples, hoping it would ease my cranial agony. Instead, I felt a sharp pain shoot right through my butt bone. However, instead of a scream of pain, the sound that I made was more like that of a cougar.
All my pains were instantly forgotten as my eyes shot open. Memories of my 'dream' jumped to the forefront of my mind as I realized that it was really true. I looked at my hands, wiggling my now furry fingers. My gaze went up towards my surroundings.
Not surprisingly, I was in a cage. What was surprising, though, was that it was actually quite comfortable. I was laying on a rather soft... Pet bed? It looked like one, if they made them bear sized. There was a large bowl (more of a tub) of water and... a scratching post. I actually groaned at that.
Beyond the cage, I could see a large yard, full of various small animals, and a quaint cottage a little ways away. The cottage itself looked like something right out of a fairytail. It was as if someone had grown it rather than built it.
It was then I heard the sound of voices coming from within.
“... do you mean?” came one voice.
It was answered by another, softer voice, “Well, for one, its front paws kind of resemble a monkey's, but with claws, and its hips seem to be able to pivot.”
“Pivot? You mean it can stand upright?” the first asked in confusion.
“Or on all fours,” the second confirmed, now louder as the cottage door opened.
“Similar to a werewolf...” the first trailed off, pondering as the two finally came into view.
They were... ponies. And similar to the crusaders from the previous day, these two were very familiar, if quite different. Both had a build more similar to that of a pony from Earth, but that's about the only similarity.
One had the butter yellow coat, and long pink mane she had in the show, but her wings were huge by comparison. Even folded, I could tell they were each likely at least as long as her entire body. Then there was her tails... or maybe it was still one tail, with two distinct parts? One was the regular horse tail, while the other was a bundle of long feathers like one would find on a bird.
The other had the lavender coat and striped, dark blue mane I recognized, but her horn, while still spiraled, had a slight backwards curve. Also, her hooves were cloven, like those of a deer, and her tail resembled that of a loin. She was certainly a unicorn, but more like those from myth rather than the show.
I wasn't sure how long I was studying them, but apparently they noticed. They gave me curious looks before glancing at each other and back to me. Finally, the one that resembled Twilight took a step forward.
“Can you understand me?” she asked slowly and hesitantly.
“I looked back and forth between the two ponies before nodding. “Y-yeah...”
Their eyes widened in surprise before the unicorn's eyes narrowed slightly. “Why did you attack those foals?”
For a moment, I was rather baffled by her question, but I quickly realized to what she was reffering.
“Oh... well, the thing is...” I rubbed the back of my head in embarrassment. Eventually, I just sighed and resigned myself to admitting my stupidity. “I thought I was dreaming, and when I saw those three... Well, they were just so adorable that I... wanted to hug them.”
The unicorn cocked an eyebrow in confusion before suddenly laughing loudly. “Wow... Really? I mean, it's not the first time I've heard of someone just having the urge to hug a pony, but usually they're...” Her eyes shot back wide open, though this time it seemed to be in revelation more than confusion. “Are... are you human?”
It was my turn to be surprised. Ignoring the fact that she knew what a human was, how the hell did she make the conclusion that I was human just because I wanted to hug a pony? I mean, I knew she was smart... Or, well, I knew Twilight Sparkle was smart, who this unicorn may or may not be, but how could even a super genius like her deduce that?
“Y-yes? How...?” I started, but jut couldn't formulate the question.
The unicorn sighed as her horn seemed to ignite in a magenta blaze, one that surrounded the door to my cage and opened it.
“My name is Twilight Sparkle, and this is my good friend Fluttershy,” she introduced herself and her pegasus friend. “Please stay with me. We're heading into town.”
I cautiously stepped out of my enclosure and approached the two. I'll be honest, I was scared. I wasn't sure if these two were dangerous or not. I mean, I knew how they were in the show, but there was no way to know if that was how they really were.
“It's okay, we won't hurt you,” Fluttershy assured me in a soothing voice. It was as if her voice was laced with magic, as my fear seemed to just melt away. I was still a little wary, but not so much to keep me from going with them.
“Fluttershy, could you go let Rarity, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash to bring the Crusaders to the Welcome Center?” Twilight asked her soft-spoken friend.
“Alright.” And just like that, Fluttershy was gone.
The two of us started towards town, barely visible through the trees.
With a sidelong glance, Twilight began, “We're somewhere that will help better answer any questions you have, but first, you're going to apologize to those foals you scared.”
I nodded, shamefully. I was actually glad that she was arranging that. It would make it that much easier. However, I was curious as to what this 'Welcome Center' was.
We didn't speak anymore until we entered the town proper. When we did, Twilight pretty much played tour guide, pointing out important locations, likely to give Fluttershy time to gather the others. She pointed out Town Hall, the market place, the library, the post office, and several other essential places before we arrived at a somewhat large brick building labeled as the 'Ponyville Acclimation and Welcome Center'.
We walked in and immediately, it reminded me of a psychiatrists office, with motivational posters and pamphlets lining the wall.
“We'll wait here for the others,” Twilight informed.
The posters were mostly just your generic 'You are not alone' and 'we care' posters, so I went to take a look at the pamphlets, and what I saw was quite shocking.
'Hooves for Hands: Adapting to Life as a Quadruped' with a picture of a smiling mare waving a flag
'You're New Diet' had a picture of grass and hay on a plate.
'Don't Fear your Fur' had a picture of a pony trowing a trench coat over her shoulder.
Slowly, it dawned on me. This place, these pamphlets, how Twilight figured out what I was. What she said...
“I mean, it's not the first time I've heard of someone just having the urge to hug a pony, but usually they're...”
“Human...”
The door swing open quickly and in walked four mares and three fillies. The first was Fluttershy, who came in and stood between me and the door.
Next was Applejack, if her orange coat, blonde mane, and trademark stetson were anything to go by. She was, for lack of a better word, scary. She was built like bull, with thick legs and barrel, but it was natural muscle built from years of hard labor not weight lifting. Then there was the scars on her face and side. This mare looked like she could break me in half and not even know I was there.
Behind her came who could only have been Rainbow Dash. Like Sweetie Belle, the colors in her mane shifted gradually between colors. Like Fluttershy, her wings were much larger than the show depicted, and upon seeing me, they flared out a little, along with her bird-like tail feathers.
Then came who I assumed was Rarity. Like Twilight, she had the slightly curving horn, cloven hooves, and lion-like tail of the mythical unicorn. Like the show, her mane was styled in very elegant curls.
The fillies were the last to come in, and immediately upon seeing me, hid behind their respective sisters/roll model.
“What the hay is that thing doin' here, Twi?!” Applejack seethed. “Didn't that thing try to attack Applebloom and her friends?”
“Not exactly,” Twilight informed and turned to me. “Go on, tell them.”
I took a step forward, hesitating as both Applejack and Rainbow Dash tensed. I swallowed thickly and said timidly, “I-I'm sorry I scared you. I wasn't trying to hurt you. I just... Thought I was dreaming, and when I saw you, I thought you were just so adorable that I wanted to hug you.”
Of course, as soon as I started to speak, the new comers' aggression became shock.
The first to recover was Rarity. “Ah, you're human. No wonder we're meeting here.”
“That's right, Miss Rarity,” I replied.
“Oh, I see Twilight already told you about us,” the fashionista remarked.
“No, I didn't. How did you know her name?”
“Oh, great,” Rainbow spoke up. “Don't tell me, you're one of those 'bronies'.”
“Uh...” I replied oh, so wittily.
“Oh, man,” Scootaloo piped up. “He's going to try to adopt me, isn't he?”
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I'm not so sure I'm liking where this rewrite is going.
- Welcome center
- Weird looking Twilight and Co.
-Other humans.
Well I for one am looking forward to this!
Yes! Please!
6807026 I for one love Earthsong's designs, as well as headcanon (though little of that will be used). I realize not everyone will like them, but I feel the design better fits the 'more realistic' aspect of the story.
As for the humans, there won't be too many that are important and none of them are still human. They all take on the form of a local race. For the most part, this decision was due to a revelation I had. Almost every HiE has that 'fitting in' sub arc, and it's always the same. There's only so much you ca do with that, and all of it has been done hundreds of times. Having humans already in Equestria, I can minimize that, and have a slightly different take on it.
Also... What's wrong with having a Welcome Center'?
6807060
6807041 It'll be slow going. To be honest, I'm mostly posting this to see if people really want it. If enough people express interest, I'll dedicate more time to it.
Well, you definitely have my support!
i have been missing ur writing, still loking forward to Dawn Shield, but this rewrite is looking promising...
6807157 I'm working on an extra chapter in DS as we speak. It's essentially scenes from the 'Changeling Documentary' mentioned in the last act. It's not essential, and doesn't influence the plot, but it does help with developing changeling society.
6807098
I'm getting a bit of a shiver due to the uncanny valley effect.
static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/UncannyValleyChart.jpg
In which the above also explains why zombies are scary.
could you keep the original story up some where, other then that it looks fine
What a spin compared to the original zebra transformation.
6808072 I wouldn't say they're that bad. Yes, they look more realistic, but they're also brightly colored and still have very human-like faces (only longer). I wouldn't put them at 'uncanny valley' levels, but I could definitely see them teetering on the edge. Of course, that's just me. Like I said, the main reason is because I'm going for a slightly more realistic version, and I can see them looking like that. Earthsong has also been playing with a slightly more cartoony style.
img07.deviantart.net/2557/i/2015/329/1/5/doodle__alternate_style_experiment_by_earthsong9405-d9hy9k2.jpg
You could always just picture these instead, if the others are too weird to you.
6808721 Seeing as this will be a complete reboot with a completely original story, it won't violate any site rules to keep both up.
6809496 The striped pony (he wasn't really a zebra) transformation was his magic ensuring he has a chance to earn the ponies' trust without them being frightened by his appearance. I figured with the change of having humans already in Equestria, though, that would be unnecessary.
6809633
not sayin they're bad, they just seem...
idk.
off, slightly.
Hmm... other humans (bronies no less) and a far different intro... not sure if want...
Nice intro. You got straight to the point at the end. I haven't read this type of introduction in a while and usually it's with the less serious fics.
Can't wait to get the ball rolling.
6810369 That's because they're so different. I've been following Earthsong for some time, and at first I thought they were strange, too. After a while, though, I began to like them more and more. Now, I love them as much as the canon designs. They're so creative, and her headcanon is intriguing and creative while still fitting into canon. Though, I won't be using her headcanon, with a couple exceptions (see her versions of Bulk Biceps and Featherweight)
6811305 It'll retain the spirit of the original, with a similar style of humor, action, and parodying HiE/self inserts. I hope you'll give it a chance.
6813143 Hopefully I'll be able to get enough of it to begin posting.
6813636
k
um
can u link earthsong please
cause idk them
6813649 Here's her main page, and here is her Bulk Bicep/Featherwhieght. Her changeling headcanon is creative, too, though I won't be using it.
6813636 Ok but I'm still nervous
Not sure if want.
It's interesting, but why does it need to reboot Chaotic Harmony? Why can't it just be a similar character in what appears to be a very different Equestria?
*snicker*, ok, I am sufficiently entertained. If that's how the reboot is going to be, then I'm wholeheartedly looking forward to it.
This is going to be a super fun ride.
6835173 Multiple reasons. For one, the sequels are both stuck, seeing as I made Shiro too OP. Secondly, As I was going back and cleaning it up, I noticed a lot of plot holes and story arcs that go nowhere. I really loved writing this story, and now that I've gotten more practice, I feel I can do it better. I won't be taking this story down, seeing as the reboot will be different enough to be considered a completely new story, so you don't need to worry about that.
I too like Earthsong's art, but the one thing that weirded me out was that pegasi have bird-tails and horse tails.
Is it bad that I only connected the dots that you were using Earthsong's aesthetic once you described AJ?
6871944 Her AJ is quite distinct. My first thought when I saw her was "I would hate to piss her off".
Oh man, very nice so far, Shiro. Love-love-loved the original, so maybe this time around, I won't be 30 or so chapters behind and speed reading to catch up! Definitely different, considering apparently there's been more humans than just Shiro who's crossed into ponyland, but you know, doesn't bother me as much as some peeps. I'm mostly just in it for the story and whatnot,
if there's more humans and not as OP main character, then cool, it'll make things more interesting as a technically new experience this time around.
6929462 Glad to hear it
Hopefully it'll be even better this time around.
This story takes a very stu-like character, and makes him into a very likable character. Shiro is powerful, there's no doubt about that. As said in the intro, he also uses chaos magic, gets a girlfriend(a unicorn who can't use magic) within a month, and has a katana of pure badassary. The author does a good job of making Shiro powerful, but not invincible. This story is very comedic, at times seeming to be a parody of sorts to other stu-fics, but at the same time, is incredibly serious. This fic, like every great story, makes you care deeply about each and every character in it, from Shiro to Jinx to the pony-wolf that I cant remember the name of.
In short, this is one of my all time favourite stories I have had the pleasure of reading.
6972880 That was kind of my goal, to parody HiEs while still being a serious fic. I'm glad you enjoyed it, and hopefully, you'll enjoy the remake just as much.
6972922 I can't wait for it. When does it come out?
6973416 I'm not sure. I would like to at least get a cover for it. Also, I would like more readily available internet. At the moment, I have to catch the bus downtown to the library. Hopefully, I'll get my own internet, and I'll be able to start posting more often.
6978942 Alright, Can't wait.
7251739 It's depressing how few actually noticed that. What's this world coming to
7350686 I've come to meet with you again.
7454351 Why would you do that?
7487131 Sorry, but that's not true. While nunquam is acceptable, numquam is considered the primary form.
http://latindictionary.wikidot.com/conjunction:numquam
https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/numquam
http://www.perseus.tufts.edu/hopper/text?doc=Perseus%3Atext%3A1999.04.0060%3Aalphabetic+letter%3Dn%3Aentry+group%3D7%3Aentry%3Dnumquam
http://www.latin-dictionary.org/numquam
7521458 i395.photobucket.com/albums/pp33/kelso151/random/PIMPslap.gif
Good fic, BUT too much conformity for me Sorry dude.
orig08.deviantart.net/01e8/f/2016/040/a/8/a83c67a6cc98c42bdf8859e721113193-d9r71k8.gif
8108420 Eeyup
Alright
Yepp he is pretty much over the Top but I cant stop reading 😂 its like those cliche old time movies with an Hero that simply tumbles through the story with Luck and good intentions... Only part missing is an big Explosion 💥 he standing with his back to it nonchalant wearing sunglasses😎
8299754
Dang it! I knew I forgot something!
Well, you did it again. You managed to make another book that impressed me to such an extent that I have no choice but to put it in my Masterworks Library along with your other book. You magnificent master of words, well done. If the sequels are anywhere near as good as the first books, then I might have to expand my library to make room for them all. Anyways, take extra pride in knowing that you are only the second author I have encountered that has created multiple books that ended up in my Masterworks Library. A truly rare and unique achievement.
Looking forward to reading the sequels, I'll see you next chapter,
Shadow Quill, Messenger of the Moon.
8943773
Well, the sequel is on hiatus until after the remakeof this is finished. Then I'll be making some major changes before continuing.
Quite the noticeable jump in quality here! The one thing I'm not sure about is that little blurb about fulfilling dreams at the start, it might be spoiling things a little bit?
9013441
It's more of a teaser. Kinda how a movie trailer shows you a little, but not enough to know what happens.
9013562
Thought so. Still had to be sure.
9456307
