HALLELUJAH!!!

Such an amazing christmas present update :D

Opps! Sorry everyone. There was a bit of a problem transferring the story from Google Docs, which might have chopped the chapter up a bit. Don't worry, I fixed it now.

Sweet Jesus I've been waiting for this.

great to see the new chapter finally out and about. I can't say that I had made it easy for you in the editing processes with all of my nitpicking that I made you suffer through.

Huzzah!

It doesn't say tragedy, I'm only hoping that's accurate. Otherwise, awesome followup so far. Given how her conditioning is only kept secret by her routine and subsequent lack of excitement, I am just hoping Twily figures it out and Cadence winds up suitably disgusted with herself.

7820899 I wouldn't go so far as to write it into a tragedy, it just doesn't feel right for Lowly/Shining.

Although... I have been thinking about making alternative endings that do end in tragedy and/or death(purely optional.) I'm a horrible person.

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7820528 Thank you so much for helping me edit and fix the inconsistencies with this chapter, mates! Also, don't worry about it mix-up. I needed someone to keep pushing me forward, and you most certainly gave me ideas! Again, you two are the best!

Cheers!
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I would myself consider the good ending the canonical one, given a multiple choice conclusion. There's just something about living out the rest of your life as a sexual role-play character with a permanent torture switch set to random with no hope of escape that's almost too depressing. I'm sure some will disagree, but honestly I would consider Shining finding a way to off himself as a "good" ending at this point, or at least letting someone know the truth in the event the damage is irreparable. It almost like shining's situation, so close to getting some sense of resolution but never being able to fully grasp it.

7821223 I don't get the feeling that's where this story is going. I suspect a happier(?) resolution than my own, though even as an editor here I've only seen as much as you have.

7821223 I do have a good ending intended, but it's not gonna be a smooth journey along the way. There will be a moment that I believe some readers will find to be "too much,' simply because of it's nature, and the ending - I'm still figuring out how to play it off, but I guess it will come later as the story progresses.

The part about the suicide... I might make an alternative choice for that one. I don't know, I just don't like the idea of Shining offing himself before he could get help.

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I expect a rollercoaster ride. That's just good storytelling. I might want a cathartic resolution, but I hope the journey there is as arduous and challenging as possible. I don't find the material too much, it's great. I'm just the kind of person that sloshes the story around in my head long after I've stopped reading The idea of Shining continuing to whither away into nothing isn't what I want sloshing in my head upon completion, so I wanted to know what I was getting into. Until the last bit of Shining's personality is extingished or sees the light of day, his suffering will continue

It's transparent that Lord Armor sees being prince as ultimately just a gateway to the easy life compared to the low born existence he had. But he doesn't realize how much of a giant TARGET that would make him to Equestria's enemies. And you think Twilight would be screaming, "CHANGELING!" with Cadence acting so OOC, treating servants like objects, that would have ME convinced Chrysalis had replaced her again!!! Even BLUEBLOOD treats his hired help with more respect than that!!!

7821891 Oh believe me, Twilight will rip her a new one. Just wait until the next chapter, you'll see.

yeah, there better be some magic involved with what's going on with Cadence, otherwise I reiterate the point I've been making this entire time: that I'm expected to sympathize with an elitist bitch who's head is stuck so far up her own flank she didn't notice her own husband being replaced with a rapist and a sadist, or that said rapist/sadist was cheating on her for 3 years.

7822850 What lets you that Cadence is under the influence of any magic? And hiding things from you spouse is a lot easier to do so then you'd think, and even if she did discovered the affair Lowly would still be trapped in her current form anyway. And in what way was Cadance was being an elitist bitch in the chapter; just curious to know?

7824348 the way she treats her own staff! The dismissive way she acts towards ponies of no status! That is not how you treat your fellow pony, that is how an asshole acts at a restaurant towards the waiters, how do you not see the awful way she acts towards them, like they're lesser than her, not just in status, but as their worth?

And I didn't say she was under some spell, I said if she wasn't, she had a helluva lot of explaining to do because I doubt any of her fellow princesses would approve of the way she treats the staff, and Twilight shows this!

7824348 the way she treats her own staff! The dismissive way she acts towards ponies of no status! That is not how you treat your fellow pony, that is how an asshole acts at a restaurant towards the waiters, how do you not see the awful way she acts towards them, like they're lesser than her, not just in status, but as their worth?

And I didn't say she was under some spell, I said if she wasn't, she had a helluva lot of explaining to do because I doubt any of her fellow princesses would approve of the way she treats the staff, and Twilight shows this!

7824981 I what way was Cadance was even rude to lowly? she just asked Rarity, AJ and RD if if she was bothering them and told her to get back to work, which she wasn't doing at that moment in time anymore, as Lowly thought maids are not supposed to be chatty with the guest, especially when they have other things to do. There is also the fact that Cadence is her boss and what they do reflect her as well.

7825145 In what way was that kind or respectful? I'd expect an evil villain like Sombra to talk to his staff that way, but she's supposed to be the princess of love. What, the staff are so far beneath her they don't deserve the very thing she's supposed to be princess of?

7825145 Plus there's this gem from the end of the first story:

Applejack blinked. “What in the Sam-hay is her problem?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” Princess Cadance said with an unconcerned look. “Don’t concern yourselves with her. She’s only a maid, after all!”

Wow. What a cunt. What, the staff aren't worth her time, despite her being the princess of love and them being her subjects just like everypony else? Do AJ and Twilight and the others only get treated right because they've saved her ass before? Is that what it takes for a "low-born" subject to get the time of day from this bitch? Ponies have to do something humongous for her before she treats them okay? No, treating someone right only because they did something for you makes you a piece of shit: you can gauge who a person really is by how they treat people who can do nothing for them.

Lowly can do nothing for Cadence and has no power over her, and Cadence treats her like shit. Ergo, Cadence is a shitty person, the type of person who is all bubbles and kindness to somepony on a date, while spitting at the waitstaff and making them bend over backwards to accommodate her.

That is not a good person. That's a shitty person wearing the mask of a good person to impress whoever they're with.

7825163 I don't think you understand that Cadance is completely unaware what Lowly is going thought, and Lowly can't show any sighs that she is in of distress, so she has not clues of what's going on with her. there is no outward signs for her to pick up on that she is in distress. Lowly took Cadence's dismissal so badly because she doesn't recognized her and the narration reflect that fact when the attention is focused on Lowly. As Cadence said in the prequel to she doesn't even notice them most of the time and she has been condition all there to ignore.

The staff of household such as there are supposed to be keeping the place clean and function and attend to the needs of the masters and guests at there bend and hooves, such as clothing and food, so that they can be free to focus on there work and not be bothered when they rest. Staff's are supposed to focused on there chores and be discrete as much possible and not bother. They are supposed to service them not the other way around, they are payed to for the services they provide. if the masters are bother to intervene in staff affair then they can't focus on there own affair then it becomes pointless.

The best complacence that I would make that you might better understand the filters that she has (and please don't take this as an attack on you), would be the waiters that servers us in restaurants we don't care how they are or even ask or their name all we want is servers from them. We don't ask questions about them, and customers are not privies to the going ons in the kitchens.

7826137 I don't mind you criticizing the story and arguing your case, but please refrain from insulting people about their grammar or spelling.

I removed the other bit, but kept the rest of your comment.

From Kildeez:

>> mix-up Um, no. We do act like decent human beings to the waiters. We say please and thank you to them. We don't glare coldly at them when the slightest thing might be amiss. We don't scowl as they bring us our food, only giving them the slightest pass of acceptance if everything is pitch-perfect. Why? Because that's what decent fucking people do. Cadence isn't just passive to Lowly here, she's practically hostile.

I don't damn well care that Lowly can't show any signs of distress, even with that, Cadence is acting like an utter bitch to her. She has no regard for Lowly, unlike the way she acts towards the subjects who can actually pay her anything. Also, if this is the way you act in a restaurant, if you think her behavior is acceptable to waitstaff, you're the kind of date I would order the most expensive thing on the menu for, then ditch you by sneaking out through the bathroom, leaving behind nothing but an extra twenty in the waiter/waitress's pocket as a way of excusing them for your shitty behavior.

Finally, first and foremost, I don't care what most people can hide from their spouses, Cadence is the princess of Love. She of all ponies should know that something is wrong with the Shining Armor at her side. If he was seriously able to carry on this affair for THREE YEARS, that might be acceptable for anyone else to not notice, but as the princess of love, she is either the most idiotic monarch to rule since that one Hapsburg born with the brain of a child, or she is unworthy of being known as a love expert.

7826338 I wasn't insulting it, I was correcting it. There's a difference.

7826348 I understand you wanted to correct him, but that was still unnecessary. Just keep to the story, please.

Same goes for everybody else reading this comment.

7826379 fine, I know I got a little hot under the collar and used my inner grammar nazi to lash out, my bad.

7826418 That's fine. I have those moments sometimes.

7826447 Can I get a bit of clarification on who's Flurry Heart dad. Is it Shining Armor or Lord Armor?

7827113 You'll just have to wait and see~.

7827367 I need more!

Woohoo, a new chapter! You have my sympathy that events took you so very long to finish and post this, but I'll be damned if I'm not happy to see this sequel continue! This new chapter certainly brought up a lot more about poor Lowly's life, and while the end was understandably serious, I couldn't help but burst out laughing about the timing. I'm certainly looking forward to the next chapter, however long it needs.

Is it bad I sooooo badly want to spend days slowly killing that imposter, and then rant to cadence for a few hours about how stupid and cruel she has been?

Is this still alive? I really want to see it continue...

Or at least know where it was going to go...

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It is, but this year has been one of the worse in my life. I'm sorry I haven't made a blog post discussing these personal issues of mine and the current status of the story, but I just haven't been up to discussing it publicly. I'm still interested in this story and seeing through to the end, but that update you've been expecting for months might not be happening for a while.

I know, I know... I should have said something before, but at this point I'm completely blown out. Hopefully I can get my crap together and finish this story sooner rather than later. Thank you for being patient with me, it makes me feel a little better. :)

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No problem, I certainly can't fault you for having troubles or needing to take a break.

I'm just glad that this story still has a chance to play out.

Looking forward to it whenever it may come.

One thing you could do is have Lowly have a conversation with Night Light until the spell makes her have sexual advances. I think that would be devastating for her. I think the greatly increased sex drive is a major thing that keeps her from receiving sympathy. The proper ponies that would have sympathy for the suffering are disgusted with the slutty behavior. The ones that are okay with it have no problems looking down on her as just a servant and torturing her just for the fun of it.
That means she can't get help from either her fellow maids nor from her masters.

In a story like this try to torture Lowly as much as possible. The more she suffers the more sympathy you get out of the reader. Even those that are symphethetic towards her are fairly rough I would think. She would be expected to be able to take a lot and that her feelings aren't particularly important.

The crowd dispersed at the sound of a rough voice approaching, revealing a stallion dressed in a white lab coat and carrying a medical bag in his mouth rushing towards the scene

Why would he be in uniform here? I would imagine him to be wearing a fancy outfit or something. He would just be there completely be chance.

It’s okay, hon. Tell you what, why don’t I go outside and ask that guard if he can stick around after the procedure; would you be okay with that?”

Why would he do that for just a servant? Wouldn't he want to get things over as quickly as possible? Right now you're being a bit too nice to her, that doctor would be rather displeased he's drawn away from the party. Especially to care for a clumsy servant. He would still be professional and proper but not this extremely gentle.

I just wanna see the imposter get what he deserves.

Don't suppose there are any plans to finish this one?

I'm interested.

its an intresting story and a brutal one. i suppose shining will need a very long psycic medication if he/she ever return in his own life

is Shining ever going to be saved from this???

This is absolutely fucked up. Please write more :D

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Thanks for the comment! ^^

I'm getting there. Slowly. I hate to leave you and everyone else waiting for so long.

Please tell me this ends with Shining finally escaping this cruel fate he's been subjected too.

Is this still going to be updated in the future?

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To be honest, I don’t know if I want to continue this. I’ve had so little time to write these past few years that I no longer have the drive to write or finish things I’ve started.

Maybe there will be a new chapter, maybe not. If not, than I’m sorry to disappoint.

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It's fine either way. I'm just saying I like what you've written.