• Member Since 17th Apr, 2013
  • offline last seen Jun 28th, 2018

nothing_to_see_here


Nothing here. Go back the way you came.

T

Steely Lathe was just like any other pegasus mare in Canterlot. Then Aliens decided to bring their war to Equestria's shining capital. Through a series of misfortunes and a few lies, she joins the 38th Company, anger issues and all.

A spin off from the Iron Hearts series
Thank you to 2135D for cover art and SFaccountant for the free commission.

Chapters (4)
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Comments ( 46 )

You won’t believe how useful this thing is folks! I can now spread jam on my toast with ease! That may not sound impressive, but you earth ponies out there will know what I’m talking about!

Excellent start. The humor is top totch! I already quite like Steely: I wonder though what kind of misadventure she will get into that go beyond what SFAccountant has written before.

Hah! Cute expansion on the best one-off gag in Iron Hearts! I'm definitely on board so far.

This is quite good! I'm hoping to see more of the Iron Hearts series sprout stories like this! I've only seen one other, but the promise of clop turned me away from it. This one here is a lot more in matching the theme of the original Iron Hearts series, and is so far pretty good!

This was a fun first Chapter.

My only real con is that we were never really told where Steely Lathe works apart from a 'factory' of some sort. It's a small thing but it also messed with her new implant so maybe a little exposition would be good.

Otherwise I'm looking forward to this series.

Not bad. Not bad at all! :pinkiehappy:

“Affirmative. Expansion: when working with animals it is always handy to have a dart gun loaded with tranquilizers at the ready.”

“So you’re a vet and a doctor?”

The Techpriest said nothing.

Favorite part right here. :rainbowlaugh:

By the by, I see that the first segment is single-spaced between paragraphs while the rest of the story is double-spaced. It didn't make it harder to read or anything, but I didn't see any reason why the formatting would change between sections, so I assume it was accidental.

6555203
How did that slip by me?:rainbowhuh:
I'll have to fix this.
Also glad you liked it.

There's a good premise here, but the execution felt a bit clunky to me. In particular, there were some incorrect words used in the description of Steely beating up Carmed, for instance 'lifted here of the' when you clearly meant 'lifted her off the'. Things like that.

I will keep an eye on this, as a story following a pony that is not one of the Mane 6 could prove interesting. Especially if Gear Works ends up being a regular.

6557808
Possibly. Sort of depends on how SFaccountant uses him later in his own stories.

6557940
You should feel free to use Gear Works however you want. Flesh out his personality, attach a bunch of achievements to him, give him unusual augments, whatever. You already gave him smoke bombs, and that's certainly nothing I had every considered doing.
I find it more satisfying to see the story and characters developing on their own than seeing that everything goes as I expect it to. I mean, you already changed Steely's story direction from "completely and inexplicably satisfied with her bionic enhancements" to "enraged to the point of trying to bite a Techpriest's face off". I couldn't be happier with the divergence.

Really well written. I would really like to see where this is going.
The only thing missing is a bit of detail - the refugee camp feels a bit 'empty' with so little descriptions and a more detailed flashback to the battle would also be cool.

6655302
I originally had a pretty vivid description of some raptors 'fighting' Tau on the street outside. I scrapped it because I felt it went way too long and didn't really add anything.
6659476
You can thank the artist and SFaccountant for that

to quote from one of Saxton Hales forefathers "I LIKE THIS COUGAR'S PEPPER SAUCE!"

all my bits that she gets inducted into Khorne worship

EDIT
(this quote can be found at following link TF2 Loose Cannon Page 4

Comment posted by Portal of thought deleted Dec 1st, 2015

In some armies, murdering several allies and savagely beating a few others would be considered a crime.
Those armies are LAME, and will be crushed before the iron fist of Chaos.

Poor Spike, though! He finally finds some friends that will actually invite him to their birthday parties, and then they're all suddenly killed by a rampaging cyber-pone. Who then ate his cake. Truly, the Iron Age is a world without justice :ajsleepy:

6685650
Considering the new cover art, I don't think you're going to find anyone to take that bet.

Steely’s vision turned half red. and she began to twitch
“Um…. Are you okay? Because it looks like a blood vessel just burst in your eye-”
Steely’s vision turned completely red. She felt something rush through her blood. Something needed to get hit. Now.
“-s.” Cinnamon finished weakly, looking worried at the twitching mare with two bloodshot eyes standing in front of the counter.
“Listen. Very. Carefully.” Steely growled, each word coming out restrained, like a dog on a short chain, ready to be unleashed. “I. NEED. To. Know. Where. I. Can. Find. Records.”
“Um…. I’m not sure I should tell you….”
“Now.”
“S-Sector 1 administration building, big square building with no windows and steel door in the front, can’t miss it.” Cinnamon said as fast as she could without stuttering.
“Thank You.”
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

Waaait a second. Shouldn't she have been angry at the guy at the recruiting office who told her she would kill Tau as well?

Eh, blind rage ain't so good a accuracy.

Still, good to see she's having fun!:trollestia:

6686947
She was probably just too lazy/rage filled to fly all the way back to Canterlot

You accidentally left in the note at the top

ayh

Completely agree with the 'How to write Solon Speech' guide you suggest. :twilightsmile:

I'll bet Tellis has known Tharix for centuries without realizing that he communicates in Morse.
Or that he's mute, and not just better at containing his exasperated mumbling.
He probably only knows his name because his visor tells him. Unless he turned that function off. He probably turned that function off.

Well, congrats, Steely! You're a Reaver now! You have a proper unit profile and everything! And your Initiative is AWESOME :D

So you changed the daemon once or twice, started as a bloodletter, (which I can believe), but got called a bloodTHIRSTER a few times... I'm pretty sure one of those.could have killed steely, main character status or no.

6859430
Tharix was actually just a spontaneous addition, believe it or not, was originally just going to be a raptor that didn't talk at all and stood there being menacing as they do, then I figured I could give him something sort of unique and make him recurring.

6859554
Thank you for pointing that out, I get those two mixed in my head all the time for some reason.

Really like where you are taking this. Keep up the great writing.

6858860 You mean... we left that in too?
*the distant screaming of a frustrated Weaver can be heard*
...
10/10 best editor in the world.

Heh, great new chapter.

I like Tharix. I think he's a fun new addition to the character roster.

Making her fight a Bloodletter seems a bit extreme. I doubt most human initiates would survive that. Though maybe the ritual summons something that it can sense would be a 'fair' challenge to the subject considering that she was armed well enough for the encounter.

6862026
I wouldn't be surprised if Ponies had to fight something tougher than baseline humans just because Khorne doesn't like Ponies all that much.

Even if it was an accident to include it, I'd still love to read a guide to Solon Speak.

Blood for the Blood God!
Skulls for the Skull Throne!
Milk for the Khorne Flakes!

All hail the veggie god!

And now she's got that annoying chanting stuck in her head.aybe that's why Khorne worshippers are so angry all the time?

6863115
As would I. I honestly understand SFAccountant's frustration when it comes to writing his speech. It seems to be a very fine balance to maintain.
Still kicking myself over not removing that note before clearing the chapter, though :facehoof:

Ya. Gear Works is going to have more augments than most full tech priests before he ever makes acolyte. Heck by the time he makes tech priest between his total devotion to the omnisiah and his special talent, most machines will be bowing to his will.

Steely is my favorite freaking pony right now, you have no idea. She's like a marginally less combat effective Tellis, but that still makes her an absolute BEAST, in the best way I mean.

No worries on the slow updates, I for one will always favor good updates to fast updates. Also, so long as SF is chill with you maiming Gear Works, I'm totally okay with it. Eventually he'll run out of biological bits to injure anyway, or learn that always wearing armor is a very very smart thing.

Keep up the good work boss! :pinkiehappy:

Lo and behold, and so is the tale of how a mare with a broken heart became the first pony to command a raptor company! May Khorne bless her with his glory, massacre be plenty in her day, and that Gear Works her personal great monkey may become steelier every day!

I love this, keep them coming :rainbowlaugh:

Nice to see that the Raptors got a better commander than Tellis. Not that he'll notice.

The only problem I had was Steely ripping off Gear Work's leg over Fourth Edition... that took the joke a little too far for me.

Any chance that Steely and Scootaloo might meet up? As Pegasi Khornates, they could really bond.

SL: No, no, no! If you don't twist the limb like this, it's a lot harder to tear it out.
:scootangel: Cool!
GW: Why me!?!? AAAGH!

7097409
You know, I almost feel sorry for Gear Works... almost.
But he deserves it for having the same initials as Games Workshop, and since we can't violently assault Games Workshop for their pricing...

Being Gear Works is suffering. And maybe he should learn O&O 3.5, or at least Ponyfinder.

I just wanted to say... damn, hell of a ride, dont stop ;)

Tearing off his leg and then beating him senseless with it, and then throwing it to some kroot to see if she can get them to fight to the death over it. Yup, Steely Lathe is Best Khornate that isn't The Betrayer.

This was hilarious! :pinkiehappy: I feel a bit sorry for Gearworks and Full Crescent, but the Squiggoth battle was Awesome!

I hope you keep going with this it is a grate story.

Love the story so far. :heart::pinkiehappy::twilightsmile: Steely is very interesting character and can't wait to see what see kills next, as long as it's not Gear Works. :applecry: :pinkiesad2: I feel very bad for him. I don't mind some abuse but I think he hit his limit. Using the squiggoth as bed frame is simply genius. :pinkiecrazy: :trollestia:

*Obligatory absence poke*

Just letting you know this has been a fun read so far, no matter how bad the writer's block gets. (Boy, do I know how that is...)

6686400
Not at all, she left the cake after trying one piece. So Spike gets to eat it all.

It's been years, and I also forgot that Tellis was actually in charge of anything. :rainbowderp:

This is an insane read, fun though. Its pony Tellis.

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