Twilight Sparkle Gets a Restraining Order

by TheSnarkKnight30

A Terrible Misunderstanding

Twilight hides her face in a book as she walks down the empty hallway. She hears footsteps coming in her direction. Twilight slowly turns around swallowing a lump in her throat. ‘Please don’t be him.’ Twilight Sparkle thought to herself as she buries her nose even further into the pages. To her relief, it is only Fluttershy. She is hiding her face behind her light pink hair and she has her hands behind her back.

“Hi, Fluttershy. You startled me. For a second there I thought you were someone else. ” Twilight says smiling.

“I scared you? I’m really sorry. I was just trying to deliver a note. Flash Sentry wanted me to give it to you. He says it’s important.” Fluttershy says demurely. Twilight could hardly hear her over the chatter going on in the classrooms. Twilight shudders after hearing his name. This has been going on for far too long. Flash Sentry has been stalking her ever since she stepped foot in Canterlot University. First it was just little things like bumping into her all the time. No matter how many times she has politely declined, he still won’t stop asking her to go to the dance. Now he writes her embarrassing love songs and sings them for all to hear. He sends her flowers on her door step each morning. That would be flattering if she actually told him where she lives. He has a photograph of her hanging in his locker. Still to this day she has no clue where it came from. If turning into a raging she-demon won’t make him go away, nothing will. Her grades are suffering because of it. She has been taking the long way to class to avoid running into Flash. One time she was a whole seventeen seconds late. When she was in Crystal Prep she was never tardy for any of her classes.

“Give me that!” Twilight says snatching the letter from Fluttershy’s hands. She silently reads the poem to herself and picks apart every single spelling mistake. Twilight Sparkle crumples up the insult to literature and tosses it into the trash.

“You’re welcome.” Fluttershy mumbles under her breath.

“Sorry, Fluttershy. I’m just really stressed out right now.” Twilight asks.

“Why?” Fluttershy asks innocently.

“Because I am sick and tired of Flash Sentry following me wherever I go.” Twilight says.

“But I thought you liked Flash Sentry.” Fluttershy says.

“I don’t want to hurt his feelings, but I really don’t like him. He’s too clingy.” Twilight says.

“The other Twilight did.” Fluttershy says.

“That’s because the other me doesn’t know anything about the real world.” Twilight says wishing everyone would stop comparing her to the Twilight from Equestria. She’s just a regular college student, not some alicorn princess who writes with her mouth.

Flash Sentry waits patiently in the library for Twilight. She usually studies there every day. He didn’t understand why Twilight has been avoiding him all of the sudden. Something has changed about her since she defeated the Dazzlings. She seems to have lost interest in him all together. She doesn’t dress nice to impress him anymore. She ties her beautiful long hair up in a frumpy bun and always wears those dorky glasses. She couldn’t even be bothered to look up from her necklace and talk to him. She couldn’t possibly still be mad about the things he said when he was hypnotized, could she? He will do whatever it takes to make it up to her, and he knew just how to do it. It won’t be easy, but it would be well worth stopping Twilight from playing hard to get.

For the rest of the school day, Flash Sentry leaves Twilight Sparkle alone. She can’t remember the last time she got so much peace and quiet. As the bus stops at her house she notices something a bit out of the ordinary. There are no flowers on her doorstep. Twilight unzips her backpack to give Spike some fresh air. Just when she thinks he found another girl to harass, she notices that her back door is left wide open. Twilight knows that she would never do something so careless. She wonders if Shining Armor left it open by mistake.

She notices a trail of rose petals leading from her back door to her bedroom. Spike growls and shows his teeth. Twilight follows the trail and opens the bedroom door. Twilight Sparkle is usually one who would enjoy gaining new knowledge, but she wishes she had never learned why his parents named him Flash. Flash Sentry sits on her bed in his birthday suit. The only thing covering him is his guitar. He remains in his provocative pose. Twilight Sparkle gags. He gets down on one knee and reveals a jewelry box under her pillow. He opens it revealing a diamond ring. Twilight Sparkle throws her book on at him and screams. Flash hits the book with the guitar. She covers her eyes. She wasn’t sure if she should be concerned about the book landing on its spine, or that her stalker is as naked as a mole rat in her house.

“Surprise.” Flash Sentry says strumming the guitar. He begins to sing her a song. That only made her more furious. She wanted to take that stupid guitar of his and smash it into a million pieces.

“No no no no! This can't be happening! This can NOT be happening. ” Twilight shreiks.

"What's the matter? I thought you liked it when I played guitar for you." Flash says.Twilight closes her bedroom curtains hoping the neighbors couldn't see what is going on. "Good thinking, Twilight. Now we can have some privacy." Flash says leaning in for a kiss.

“That’s it! I’m calling the police.” Twilight Sparkle snaps swinging her heavy backpack at him. Flash Sentry scrambles off her bed.

“Why are you acting like this? I thought you liked me.” Flash asks.

“Can’t you take a hint? I don’t like you. I will NEVER like you. You’re invading my personal space. Why can’t I just go about my day without someone breathing down my neck?” Twilight says trying to remember the breathing technique from her anger management book. Through Twilight's entire lecture about boundaries and personal space, Flash is staring at her chest. Every little word she says goes through one ear and out the other.

“Calm down, Twilight. I'll leave you alone now.” Flash Sentry says. As she grabs the phone to call the police Spike squirms out of Twilight's arms and bites Flash where the sun don't shine. As he writhes in agony, Twilight calls the police.

“Don’t worry. I’ll make sure of it.” Twilight says. Flash Sentry runs out of the house like a chicken with its head cut off just in time for Shining Armor to pull into the driveway. He rubs his eyes in astonishment. Spike's teeth are still clamped on to Flash like a vice.

"Uh, Twiley... Why is there a naked boy in our front yard?" Shining Armor asks watching the police officer put him in handcuffs.

"Don't ask! Get in the car. We're going to the courthouse." Twilight yells.

The next day, Twilight Sparkle approaches Flash Sentry at the cafeteria. He's still sulking from last night's rejection. She pulls out a piece of paper out of her book bag. Her hand slightly collides with his elbow.

"We have to stop bumping into each other." He says oblivious to just how angry she is.

“You see this, Stalker Boy? It’s called a restraining order. From now on you can’t get within ten feet of me. If you do, you’ll be breaking the law.” Twilight Sparkle says holding the restraining order in front of Flash’s dumbfounded face. The commotion grabs her friend's attention. They couldn't really hear what is going on, but by the looks of it something horrible is about to go down.

"Is everything okay, Twilight?" Sunset Shimmer asks.

"I don't get it. No matter what I do, she's never happy. I played her songs, I brought her flowers, I gave her a ring." Flash says.

"You gave her a ring?" Rarity asks excitedly. "I'd be glad to make all the dresses for the wedding." Rarity says.

"There is no wedding. I said no." Twilight says.

"You said WHAT? It's not everyday you see a ring as lavishing as this one, darling. I would have taken it in a heart beat." Rarity says.

"You have no idea what I've been through. My house was broken into." Twilight growls.

"Oh, goodness." Fluttershy gasps.

"Say what now, Sugar Cube?" Applejack asks.

"He won't leave me alone no matter what I do. I have made a checklist of ways to make him go away. I went to SnipsNBabs Hair Salon and let Snails butcher my hair. He said he liked it and short hair is in season. I try to avoid him like the plague and he sends his band members to come find me. He just won't take no for an answer. He won't take 'go away, you creep' for an answer either. My restraining order is my last hope for a normal life." Twilight says.

"Wow, Twilight. I didn't know that Flash was such a psycho." Rainbow Dash says shaking her head.

"Well, duh! He probably thinks she's the other Twilight." Pinkie Pie says.

"The other Twilight?" Flash asks.

"Yeah, you know. The pony who came into the human world and stopped Sunset Shimmer and The Dazzlings." Pinkie Pie says. He can't believe what he is hearing. He couldn't have fallen in love with a horse, can he? Flash Sentry faints on the floor.

"What's up with him?" Rainbow Dash asks.

"Beats me." Applejack says.

"Let's grab something to eat. Sonata told me that today is Taco Tuesday." Sunset Shimmer says. Twilight and her friends enjoy their tacos without having to worry about being followed. The restraining order works like bug repellent. Twilight no longer has to worry about Flash Sentry and can focus on more important things like her education and her friends.

Comments

[EpicShadowz]

Everybody hates Flash. But just to clear it up, Flash thinks scitwi is twilight?

[The Chip]

Poor Sentry. Must be devastating having his heart shattered to bits.

Sorry, that was mean. But I could not resist!

[TheSnarkKnight30]

6503557 Yes. Exactly. He can't tell them apart. He thinks he is talking to the Twilight he danced with at The Fall Formal, but really he's talking to the other Twilight Sparkle. I should have made that more clear.

[EpicShadowz]

6503582 wow flash is an idiot. Don't worry it was clear enough. Just wanted to confirm.

[Dr Judgement]

The scary part about this is it can happen in real life but other than that it gave me a real horse laugh.. Pun intended...

[OmniFox]

And Twilight Sparkle takes interest in girls.

[wlam]

You know, comedy is typically expected to be actually funny in some way.

[LuluCalliope]

Oh, Flash, you went from kind of useless to totally useless in just three movies!

I will say this in his defense: if any good came from him, it's that now I ship him with Sonata Dusk.

[seki108]

Flash's mistake is that he never showed her he could play guitar with no hands:

[CassandraMyOCisBestpony]

For the rest of the school day, Flash Century

Maybe the problem is that he's too old.

[TheSnarkKnight30]

6506940 Hahahaha :) Well I feel stupid now. Thank you for pointing that out.

[Dragonzero]

6506987 But I thought that was a joke... I lol at it.

[Skye Mist]

I can't believe that Flash doesn't realize that the Twilight he is getting a restraining order from is not the Twilight he asked to the Fall Formal.

[DragonRaiderX9]

Decent idea, but the punchline felt a little weak.

[TheSnarkKnight30]

6511025 I have lots of ideas that would make good stories, but I'm not too good with the execution of it. :/ I wonder if I could have done something to make it funnier.

[DragonRaiderX9]

6513435

I don't claim to be an expert, but I think the problem here is that we empathize with Flash too much. Makes it more sad than funny.

The set-up feels like it would be best for a wacky-hijinks type of story, maybe even some crack comedy. But by keeping it firmly rooted in Slice of Live territory, it's prevented from ever really taking off.

[TheSnarkKnight30]

6514074 I tried to change it a little bit to try to make it a little more over the top plus I made the ending seem less rushed. Hopefully it will be better now. I'm afraid if I make Flash too perverted, it will seem out of character.

[raw666]

Honestly this feels less like a comendy and more like a goffier and less gory version of Scilence of the Lambs with Twilight being the movie Clarice Starling and Flashinb being the more goffy version of Hanible in this relationship. Actually, I feel like both Twilight dodge a bullet with how obsessive he is over a girl he barely knows. Yeah, get that out of your head.
Maybe you should have gone all the way with the creepy vibe. It would make a intersting story and something both Twilights have to deal with as pony Twilight learn that its not always a good thing for someone to be so obsesse with you and the other a fear terror since she can't go to another world to escape.

[StormLuna]

This is HILARIOUS. Upvote and a fave!

[Lover Of Muffins]

Twilight could really mess with Flash by sitting at the desk closest to the classroom door