• Published 9th Jul 2015
  • 7,736 Views, 59 Comments

I need you - MLPFan234



Sunset Shimmer has been keeping in strong feelings for Twilight Sparkle. And she feels like it's the perfect time to confess them to her. It's a quite night when everyone is sleeping, and they both are all alone. Today is the day when Sunset confesse

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The Confession

It was a quite night and Twilight was in the kitchen, thinking about the fact that she can't write a song that can defeat the Dazzlings. Meanwhile, Sunset Shimmer couldn't fall asleep. She kept thinking about Twilight, until eventually she stood up and walked to the kitchen.

While walking to the kitchen, Sunset had many thought's about how to confess to Twilight, she had so much feelings about her, but didn't know how to explain them to her.

"Hey... again." Sunset quietly chuckled.

"Oh, hey." Twilight replied.

Sunset took a seat next to Twilight. Twilight placed the pen down and sighed. Twilight hit her arm hard at the table.

"I can't believe this!" Shouted Twilight.

"Believe what?" Sunset asked, startled by Twilight's sudden outburst.

"That I, the Princess of magic, the pony who has saved Equestria plenty of times, can't write a song!" Twilight explained.

"Whoa! Calm down! You don't want everyone to wake up." Sunset said.

"Sorry, Sunset..." Twilight sighed. "I just.. I can't do this."

"It's a-alright..."

"All of this, "Battle of the bands thing", is just driving me insane!" Said Twilight. "How are we going to defeat them...?"

"Don't worry, Twi!" Sunset delightedly grinned at her. "When you're around, we can do anything!"

Twilight looked back at Fluttershy's notebook, she was staring at it. Wondering how will all of this work, how will they defeat the Dazzlings. Then Twilight turned head to Sunset and gave a small grin back. "Thank you, Sunset."

"We will easily win with the magic of, uh, friendship... and stuff.."

"Yeah. Magic of friendship." Twilight softly giggled.

Sunset looked at Twilight, noticing there was something wrong. It wasn't right. Twilight didn't seem happy at all, she looked hopeless.

"So.. Is it good to be a princess?" Asked Sunset.

"It's alright, I suppose.." Twilight answered, raising an eyebrow at Sunset.

"Is it hard?" Sunset quickly asked afterwards.

"Maybe? I'm not sure.. It does take quite a work." Twilight answered.

"How's Celestia?!" Sunset asked.

"She's fine, I think. Not sure what she is doing now.." Said Twilight, looking at the ceiling. "I hope my friends aren't worried,"

"Yeah." Sunset sighed. "Has she ever.. asked about .. me?"

"Oh, yeah." said Twilight. "When I came back from The human world, she did ask, "If you were in the right hands", and she does probably miss you."

Sunset grinned. "Really? She did?"

"Mhm." Twilight grinned back.

Sunset blushed and smiled. "Didn't know she even still cared about me. I don't think she misses me, though."

Twilight looked at Sunset with a grin. "I bet she does."

Sunset smiled.

"So... how much progress have you been making here? With the whole Friendship thing." Asked Twilight.

"Oh, quite good, actually." Said Sunset. "But a lot of people at Canceller high still give me the angry looks..."

"Oh, I'm sorry Sunset.." Said Twilight.

"It's Fine. At least I have you and.. Them."

"I have to admit, at first... I didn't think you'll apologize so fast after you were defeated." Twilight grinned.

"Well.. I didn't have another choice." Sunset sighed.

"Oh." Twilight looked down.

"And I honestly, didn't think you'll forgive me so fast.." Sunset chuckled.

"Well, I have already redeemed some other ''bad guys''..." Twilight giggled.

After a While, Twilight started to quake.

"Are you cold?" Sunset asked.

"Yeah, kind." Said Twilight. "Pinkie's house is not the warmest."

"Wait, I'll be right back!" said Sunset, and left the kitchen.

She went back to Pinkie's room and came back to the kitchen with a big, long blanket. She wrapped it around herself and Twilight.

"Is that better?" Asked Sunset.

"Yes." Twilight grinned. "A lot better!"

Sunset chuckled. "That's good!"

Twilight did feel comfortable and cozy in the blanket, Sunset blushed as she remembered she had to confess something to Twilight.

"Hey... Twilight?" Asked Sunset.

"Yes?" Twilight asked.

Sunset blushed as she saw Twilight's adorable smile, she took a a big breath.

"There is something, I have always wanted to tell... you... but it is a bit embarrassing.." Said Sunset, her voice shaking.

"Yes..?" Said Twilight.

"You see.. ever since you have forgave me, about my past mistakes.. You have been so kind to me.. "

"Well, yeah.." Said Twilight.

"If it wasn't for you there, when I failed.. I don't think anyone else would have even forgave me." Sunset continued.

"True.." Twilight looked away for a quick second.

"So, ever since then, I have loved your smile, your voice, whenever you are next to me, I can't express how happy I am! You don't even realize how special you are to me!" Said Sunset, her eyes filling up with tears.

"I, uh.."

Twilight had no idea what to say to Sunset, she just stared into her eyes as Sunset continued to talk.

"I become so mad and sad, whenever you leave me here, but go back to Equestria!" Said Sunset. "I need you, Twilight! You don't know how much I need you! Without you.. I feel worthless."

Twilight blushed while looking at Sunset, seeing Sunset flow tears from her eyes.

"Sunset.. " Said Twilight. "I didn't know you felt that way."

Twilight wiped Sunset's tears from her face, and gave a gentle kiss on her forehead.

"I'm s-sorry..." Said Sunset, wiping her own tears away. "That was really strange wasn't it? I really am a weird monster,"

Twilight gently hugged Sunset, giving her a warm hug. "You are no, "weird monster", Sunset. And don't worry... even when I'm gone, I will not stop thinking about you."

"Really?" Asked Sunset. "You really mean that?"

"Really." Twilight chuckled. "I love you too."

Author's Note:

UPTADE: Holy crap! 2,000 views? Thank you so much! :pinkiegasp:

Also, I added and removed a lot of words. Corrected some spell errors.

Comments ( 59 )

So...do you plan on writing more chapters for this story?

6185500 Oh my mistake, I forgot to add in that This is already complete. :facehoof:

Comment posted by goaway deleted Jul 9th, 2015

6185781 lol its alright, but you should write more chapters, show how their relationship went during the battle of the bands and afterwards

Comment posted by Azure Ravenscroft deleted Jul 22nd, 2015

6186024 Alright, thank you.

Comment posted by goaway deleted Jul 22nd, 2015

Hey, I've noticed the need of proof-reading for this story. Syntax and pacing in stories is my forté. PM me if interested.

Comment posted by Universal Timegate deleted Jul 22nd, 2015
Comment posted by SadisticFluttershy deleted Jul 22nd, 2015
Comment posted by MLPFan234 deleted Jul 22nd, 2015
Comment posted by MLPFan234 deleted Jul 22nd, 2015
Comment posted by Universal Timegate deleted Jul 22nd, 2015
Comment posted by Universal Timegate deleted Jul 22nd, 2015
Comment posted by SadisticFluttershy deleted Jul 22nd, 2015
Comment posted by TerminalViscosity deleted Jul 22nd, 2015

My advice to you as an author is to try and avoid the temptation to delete comments- it rarely reflects well on the story, regardless of its quality.

6240423 Well, It was a lot of arguing, So i decided to delate them.

6240448 Ah, fair enough then, sorry for assuming otherwise.

It's soooo cute adorable and cute

Aaawww sunset is in love with twilight . That's so sweet. :pinkiehappy: And for any a holes who hate this comment or story is nothing but a troll. Get a life you troll's.:rainbowhuh:

Why did I get tears? Seriously, WTF eyes? But In general, It was a nice story. Though there are some spelling mistakes...

So, ever since Then, I have loved you're smile, you're voice, whenever you are next to me, I can't express how Happy I am, you don't Even realize hoe special you are to me!." Said Sunset.

"Well, atleats That's good." Said Twilight.

But otherwise, TEN OUTTA TEN!

6257164 Yeah! :pinkiehappy: Thank you. :pinkiesmile:

6257802 Yes, I have some spelling problems, since English is only my third language! :twilightblush: But Thank you very much. :twilightsmile:

Not bad. Some errors here and there but all in all good story. 8/10 :twilightsmile:

6299746 Thank you very much. :ajsmug:

6273487 I hope you don't mind me asking, but what?

6310355
I love it. I just write with the slash through. Sorry if it confused you all.

6310355 It really depends on my mood though.

6311541 Oh, Sorry then.

Good story overall,
Of course it needs work.
I advise you to get an editor and a proofreader

Or I could just download it and make it into a doc on my kindle and change the errors and fix the places where capitalization was not necessary.

6324366 Thank you.

You would do that?

6324403
I would.

It's always nice to help growing authors like some others do the same for me.

6324409 Wow, Thank you. :twilightsmile:

6324418
No problem.
I'll go and edit it ASAP

And when im done I'll PM you

Did a reading of this fic, it can be found here:

Hope someone enjoys!

6325476 Thank you so, so much! I feel honored. :twilightsmile:

Been meaning to get to this one, and it was Totally worth the wait.
Amazing job on one of my favorite ships.
SunsetXTwilight 4 life!

6347940 Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it. :twilightsmile:

That was such a sweet story.

6324437 Hello, will you still edit the story?

Oh my, this is cute. I like all the EQG kind of stories, especially one's about Sunset. I give it a thumbs up cause it's a short, cute, little ship, but there are a lot easily spotted mistakes. Your capitalization is all over the place, and the dialog itself seems like it's very quick. I'd think a convo like this would have gone in different directions at different topics, it also felt jumpy and anti-climatic when Sunset finally "confessed."

I am not a good writer, but my advice is to make the scene more evident. It's late at night, everyone's asleep, the downstairs is cold and Sunset is the only other person downstairs; we get that. What we don't get is the nervous choke Sunset feels as she's about to give Twilight the blanket, or even the awkward scene of Maud walking in on Twilight and Sunset wrapped in a blanket together in the kitchen. (I dunno, it could've been funny.)

You should also work on the dialog structure. It feels too bland. One minute Sunset is obsessed with Celestia, the next she's obsessed with Twilight. Twilight should've mentioned Celestia, and then Sunset would act like she doesn't care. Twilight would wonder and ask Sunset if there was anyone she cared about and now Sunset is posed with an embarrassing question. If she answers no, then she's a insensitive prick. If she answers yes, then Twilight's gonna ask her and Sunset's gonna stumble over her words nervously like a drunk trying to read Shakespeare, because that's the moment she has to "confess" to Twilight, and explain her reasoning. That's the climax of the story. I'm no great writer, just brain storming here. I like the reasoning behind Sunset's confession, being that Twilight was the only one to forgive her was a pretty solid foundation. I think you just need to give the scene a little more thought.

6374905

yeah, sorry. I just got caught up with school. I'm in 8th grade and i've got a test coming up for my Strings class.

6380562 Oh okay, that's fine.

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