my voice just echoes off these walls and I just slowly fade away
Fluttershy had accepted that it was one of those days.
The first time it happened she was sitting in the grass seperating all the edible herbs and fungi she had collected in the woods that afternoon. It was a beautiful, sunny day and a light breeze meant the temperature was comfortable, not stifling. She enjoyed the sensation of the wind ruffling her mane and wing feathers and hummed to herself. Dragonflies danced about on the lilypads of the nearby pond. A few feet away lay Discord, his paw and talon flat on the ground and his head upright so that he looked like an elongated version of an Anugyptian Sphinx. He was looking out over the pond. She briefly wondered what he was thinking about, but decided not to disturb him. Quiet moments were rare things with him.
She was just contemplating the possibility of making wild garlic soup for supper, when she heard a tiny whimper.
Discord's body was rigid and he was staring straight ahead, as if he was looking at nothing, and -- rather disturbingly-- nothing was gaping back at him. But the sound he was making was not right. Fluttershy knew what an animal in distress sounded like, and sapient animals were often no different.
"Discord?"
The strangled whine continued, and Discord continued to hold himself rigid, as if any sudden movement might make part of him rupture.
Fluttershy quickly set down her wicker basket and moved towards him. She tentatively placed a hoof on the side of his body.
All of a sudden he came to life, angrily.
"NO!" he shouted. His lion claws unsheathed.
She leapt back, startled. She wasn't afraid of Discord, but she was afraid for him.
He had lain in a curled up heap for the rest of the afternoon, in a grumpy mood. He repeatedly said he wanted to be left alone, so eventually she walked back to the cottage with her basket in tow.
Later on that evening when she was chopping up wild garlic leaves, Discord came in from outside. He looked dishevelled and his eyes were redder than usual, as if he had been crying.
"Fluttershy, I'm sorry."
She looked up at him. "Are you alright?"
"Maybe...I don't know. Can we talk?"
She put down the kitchen knife and wiped her hooves on her apron, then she took the kettle off the boil and poured them both some mint tea. They both sat down on the rug in front of the fireplace, though there was no fire going.
"What happened, Discord?"
Discord held his cup of tea in his paw and talon but made no move to drink it. He seemed to be grasping the hot cup as if his life depended on it.
"Discord?"
He nearly jumped at the sound of her voice. He looked at her worried face. Then he said simply: "Fluttershy, how do I know that you're real?"
"What?"
"I can create almost anything, Fluttershy. How do I know what I'm seeing is reality? I might be back in that...that thing, suffocating and my chaos doesn't exist. I need you to tell me my chaos is real."
He punched the wall with his paw and it suddenly started raining sideways inside the cottage. The rain lashed against the two friends. Fluttershy felt her mane billowing around her as the extreme power of the storm contained in her cottage blew through it. It was freezing cold. Lightning flashed and thunder boomed, then as suddenly as it had appeared, the storm subsided.
"Did you see that?" he asked her. "Did you feel it? Was that real?"
They were both soaked through from the rain. There were puddles on the floor of the cottage.
"It was real," said Fluttershy breathlessly.
After towelling them both off and talking long into the night, she learnt that he had been holding himself rigid because he was straining to take in as much sensation around him as possible. He was trying to feel the breeze on his fur, trying to smell the herbs she was crushing, trying to feel the grass between his lizard toes. Touch, Smell, Taste. These three things seemed most important.
Fluttershy was coming to realize that despite the energetic and bolshy attitude of her friend, that there was a side to him that he never let anyone but her see and today, much like that day she had found him whimpering by the pond, he was not himself. He was remembering what it was like to be a statue, whether he wanted to or not.
Today she had found him curled up in the corner of the room. He was muttering something about "nothingness" and how "everything was grey." She knelt beside him and pressed her forehead to his. They had discussed this; He was getting better with touch, and when she did this she was trying to help him ground himself.
At first she had suggested focusing on the sound of her voice, but Discord reminded her that he was able to hear everything while he was a statue, so it wasn't a reliable method for staying grounded. So now she touched his face while she spoke.
"It's okay, Discord. I'm here. You're safe. You're free."
His paw reached out to her and he stroked her face almost as if he was blind and couldn't see her, and the sensation of touch was meant to reassure him. She placed her hoof over it and he trembled. She knew if anyone else saw him like this he would likely react very badly to it; spitting bitter, sarcastic comments to whoever happened to be standing nearby. It was his way of protecting himself. He hated to show any sign of weakness.
"You're free, and I'm your friend and I won't let anything happen to you. Please trust me."
His words rushed out in a torrent. "I do. I trust you. I just don't trust my senses. I just...nothing seems real sometimes. How do I know you're real?" His voice sounded desperate and raw. "Sometimes when I was a statue I would think I had escaped and it turned out I was hallucinating and I'd come to and be back in that stillness. There was nothing. The only sense I had left was sound, and my brain would just create images to go with it and ...ngggh. Listen to me! I sound like I'm hysterical. But you could not be real. Maybe I just remember you from the maze and my mind is just trying to cope by creating someone who wants me around. Maybe all that stuff about friendship you guys said to me wormed it's way into my brain and I'm just fantasizing." He laughed, but it was a desperate laugh instead of his usual playful one.
"I'm real. I'm here. And I want you around." Her hoof stroked his mane gently. His ears flattened against his head and he closed his eyes.
"Fluttershy, I love you," he whispered.
She wasn't sure whether he meant as a friend or something more but she decided to focus on that later and continued to stroke the back of his mane with her hoof while she had her forehead pressed against his, and she told him everything was going to be okay, though she wasn't entirely sure that was true. She knew it was going to take time for him to accept that he did have her friendship, and she wasn't going to abandon him, and he wasn't going to go back into stone. Most days he seemed to believe this, but sometimes things were quite bad, and he would stare into space until he eventually snapped out of it. Sometimes it took hours. Sometimes it took days. No one knew but her.
A thousand years in stone. Why did everybody act like that was no big deal and he was just supposed to get over it in an eyeblink? As someone who was used to caring for others, Fluttershy had noticed something was wrong early on when nobody else had. She supposed in a way she couldn't blame everyone else. Discord had pretended that nothing was wrong, so how would anyone else realize?
Discord was the type of person who was loathe to show any signs of weakness to others and he would pretend everything was hunky dory even when he was screaming inside. He had done it at the gala. He was terrified that Fluttershy no longer wanted to be his friend, and what was worse was that he actually felt that was inevitable. He was being punished for what he had done, and that was just the way of the world, and what did he expect, really? But of course he had tried to hide his fears and his jealousy, because talking about it with her would just show how much he needed her. But now she knew and she would do her best to help him get through this.
On one occassion she had suggested he have a nice nap and that he might feel refreshed when he woke up later, but that had apparently been the wrong thing to say.
"I don't want to go to sleep. What if I don't wake up?"
"Huh? Of course you'll wake up. You go to sleep every night."
"Yes, but not when I'm feeling like this. I make it a point not to sleep because I could wake up and the nothingness will be there again instead of this place."
"It might do you some good..."
"I don't want to."
"Are you sure, I mean...it could be good for..."
"No, please. Don't make me. You can't make me."
She was taken aback by how how desperately vehement his voice sounded.
"Of...of course I can't. I wasn't trying to make you."
He looked at her sadly. In reality he should have been comforting her for the way he had hurt her with Tirek, but Fluttershy was stronger than she looked. She didn't even know about the nightmares. Luna did, of course.
"How about a nice bath, then? I can run you one."
He thought about it.
"I...yes. That would be nice, actually."
Fluttershy ran upstairs and turned on the tap. She poured some lavender scented bubblebath into the water as the steam rose up. She knew Discord preferred bubblegum scented bubblebath, but she didn't have any to hand. Besides, lavender was supposed to have a calming effect. Well, as calming as could be expected when you were trying to calm down the Spirit of Chaos.
She led him to the bath by his paw and he followed her.
"Okay," she said, about to leave. "I'll just be downstairs if you need..."
"Stay."
"What?"
"Stay and talk to me. What if I fall asleep in the tub?"
She had never heard him ask a question that made him seem so vulnerable. He was a being who could warp the laws of physics. He had clawed open a portal to another dimension with his sharp talons. He lived in a dimension that drove most ponies temporarily insane within minutes.
Yet he was looking at her like he was afraid he would drown if left to his own devices.
She knew that if anyone found out about this he would feel extremely embarrassed, which is why she had no intention of telling anyone.
"I'll stay."
He tentatively climbed into the tub. It was just the right temperature and he felt it soak into his feathers. Regardless of how good it felt, however, he still felt rather numb.
Fluttershy noticed the blank stare on his face again and she walked over to the tub. She gently ran some water over his head as he closed his eyes. Then she took some shampoo and lathered it into his dark mane. He sighed. It felt undeniably good. Touch.
Fluttershy could still feel the tension in his neck as she ran her hooves through his hair.
She decided to try humour. That was often the way Discord healed himself.
"Um, how about a joke?"
He raised an eyebrow. Jokes were not something Fluttershy excelled at.
"Go on, then," he said.
"Why was the dog arrested for having puppies?"
"I have no idea. Enlighten me."
"It was littering."
He cracked a smile. "That was terrible, Flutter Nutter," he said. She giggled softly. He very much enjoyed the sound of her laugh, but he couldn't trust sounds. Hearing things didn't mean he wasn't still in stone.
"Tree Hugger told me that one."
"That explains why it was so awful then," he smirked at her.
She shook her head and smiled. She knew he no longer had a problem with her friend and was teasing her. That was good, the old teasing mischievous Discord was coming back. She washed the shampoo out of his mane and held out a big fluffy towel, which Discord wrapped around himself.
"Feel better?"
"A little."
Fluttershy made them some tea then they sat on the rug by the fireplace. This time the fire was lit and Discord wriggled his lizard toes at the warmth.
Fluttershy smiled at the little movement and he spotted her expression out of the corner of his eye.
"You know, if it weren't for you I'd still be in there," he said.
"It was Princess Celestia's idea to get you out," said Fluttershy modestly.
"I know, but you pulled it off. And you know? I never thanked you for it. So...thank you."
"You're very welcome, Discord."
The draconequus suddenly realized he felt very sleepy.
"You know, I think maybe I will try to get some sleep tonight. Can I have the sofa bed?"
"Of course."
He fidgeted and looked at the floor.
"Do you want me to stay with you?"
He nodded.
In answer, Fluttershy went over to the cupboard and pulled out a big, wool throw. Discord got up and curled up on the sofa and the pegasus joined him, covering them both with the warm blanket. He wrapped his paw around her shoulders and she returned his embrace. Discord slowly felt his tumultuous, churning anxiety drain away as Kindness held him.
He felt the soft brush of her wings against his face and the smell of her mane. One day, if he ever did end up back in that grey, empty place, he would focus on those sensations until he found his way back home.
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Very well played.
Also very original
I'm not crying...I've got something in my eye! *sniffles*
...I wish you'd write more with this story. It's a BRILLIANT idea! A BRILLIANT start! I love this! And...the feels...
A thousand d'awws.
I've read a tiny handful stories mentioning the idea of Discord thinking all that happened, with the reformation, being in his head. I love them more than I should. You can't be trapped in stone for a thousand years and are just peachy-keen once you're freed. None I could think of were so... emotionally heavy, though. I needed a minute afterward. Vulnerable Discord is such a punch to the gut.
This is the cutest, most touching thing I have read in a long time. Surprisingly enough, this is only the 2nd fic that I've read that touches on the topic of Discord thinking nothing is real. Bravo!
I've always found that whole solipsistic argument fascinating; prove to me you're not a figment of my imagination.
Well told story, bravo.
Hmm was it inspired by "Light Rain" perhaps?
6141882
That's the way I've always seen it. How can anyone be in solitary confinement for centuries and be okay? I would so not be okay. What's also amazing is that despite his urge to cause chaos he has no desire to kill anyone. I mean, okay, children's cartoon, but Tirek and Sombra at least have the implication that they would capable of killing, and Tirek tried to blow up Twilight's home with her in it.
6143218
The idea of Discord losing his grip on reality because of the statue was a headcanon I had before I read Light Rain and comes from the idea that lengthy solitary confinement and sensory deprivation would literally destroy anyone's grip on sanity. Also, the idea that a being that could create ANYTHING would doubt his own sanity was something I pondered back when I watched Discord as Q on Star Trek TNG.
However, I have to admit that Alara's stuff is a huge influence on me, and I'm pretty sure some of her stuff subconciously seeps into what I write. For instance, the "you cannot go against nature" theme was something she had written, then I realized I had also written it, and I honestly cannot tell one way or the other if it was something that influenced me and I just don't remember it. I left a panicked message on her wall because I was worried she would think I had copied her.
The "Tirek felt Discord up in a dark alley" line she used was totally the inspiration for Still Remains though, which remains one of the few stories I actually feel 100% proud of.
Deep and adorable
I'd be 100% proud of this one if I'd written it, it's so powerful! The being who can do almost anything being almost completely incapacitated is a hell of a dent to the status quo, one which will take many story arcs to recover from. There's so much room in this for more stories and I want them all.
6143521
Thank you!
I used to think Discord got through it by going into stasis, until the episode Keep Calm and Flutter On, where he point blank says: "Being turned to stone doesn't keep me from hearing every word Celestia says."
Scary, man.
Poor Discord. He's very lucky Kindness is his best friend.
Also, this story...I...I NEED TO HUG DISCORD.
Such a different take on discord, and a very possible one. I think the disparity between discords usual attitude and his PTSD like self in this story lends it a kinda melancholy feel to me. Discord is hurt, badly.
I liked the tie in of the gala and fluttershys resolve to help Discord. Its very iin character for her.
Well done.
Whoa. That was just powerful. Bravo!
Everything you write is amazing. Dude, just...HOW?!
I'm crying
Oh my...this story is so beautiful
It's so tragic yet hopeful, bittersweet yet uplifting. Unlike most tragic MLP stories or tragic Fluttercord stories, there's a message of light through the darkness in this one. It reminds me of those stories of people with Alzheimer's or schizophrenia. They struggle to keep their grip on reality, try to have a normal life, and show their loved ones that they care for them. While the loved ones try to stay strong for them, try to help them in any way they can by showing them how much they love them. This my friend, brings Fluttercord to a whole new level...Bravo
I love this, it was very tender and touching. Would you consider writing a follow-up? He did confess his love for her after all ;) And I agree, 1000 years of being conscious and not being able to DO anything would drive anyone mad. It's a wonder Discord didn't want to end Equestria when he was released, and that these little moments of confusion are all that is left.
6145653
It's also what happens to people when they suffer from sensory deprivation. Discord gets bored very easily, so the statue must have been abject hell for him. I do wonder if part of the reason Celestia freed him was because she knew it was so cruel and didn't want him to suffer. She's not a tyrant, after all (despite how some people love to write her). He's essentially a massive childlike being with far too much power, and because he didn't listen to reason (he's Discord) he had to be placed in stone.
6146577
It seems a lot of people want me to continue this story, but I'm not entirely sure how I would end it. He loves her desperately, because no one has ever been so selfless and kind towards him, but conversely because no one has ever been so selfless and kind towards him, he can't quite believe it's real. If she loved him back he'd probably think he was imagining it.
How ironic Discord is on the receiving end of Fluttershy's compassion after he originally brainwashed her into a sadistic bully.
6147313
Yes, if she truly was a bully she'd be telling him to "suck it up" and that "he got himself into this mess."
Would also add that Fluttershy has been a cruel bully without Discord's help, but it's not in her nature for it to be permanent.
As it stands, he's at her mercy, and he's just (incredibly) lucky that her friendship is genuine and she is a kind and forgiving person. She's also a kind and forgiving person that sets boundaries, so she's not going to let Discord take advantage of it.
6146968
Oh wow, I didn't know there was such a thing as sensory deprivation. Either way, you have written a story where someone who suffers at a level like Discord and give them a message of hope through the darkness they have to travel through each day. That deserves my deepest applause. I agree, I don't think she's a tyrant. She may not be my favorite princess, but she's not a bad pony. I agree, especially in context of this story and Keep Calm and Flutter On, she released Discord because she didn't want him to suffer anymore, not to just simply gain an ally or weapon for power. She has compassion for all creatures, even her enemies. I agree with possibleplaytpus, I would love a follow up to this story. And I think it could be possible if you took the angle of Fluttershy realizing her love for Discord, but he doesn't believe her, so she doesn't everything in her power to convince him otherwise. It could take weeks, months, or even years. This may wear Fluttershy down, but her love for Discord never fades away. Then, one day, without warning, he finally believes her.
Aww, I liked this one. Sad but also sweet, and with a hint of hope at the end. Just the way I like sadder stories to go. And an interesting idea for how all that time in stone might affect him. Well done.
6149752
Thank you.
Yeah I don't think anyone could survive 1000 years of having no sense but hearing with their sanity intact. I watched a documentary once where people voluntarily agreed to take part in an experiment where they lived in an underground bunker with no light for a week. All of them started hallucinating, all of them came out with (temporary) memory problems and they all remarked that the world smelled amazing when they came out of the bunker.
Another beautiful story in your great style.
That was beautiful!
And then he wakes up and sees that he's still trapped in a statue.
2.bp.blogspot.com/-HtcwohN1UwA/T04CpLRNpFI/AAAAAAAACeA/ea1aY-q6yPc/s1600/sam+spratt+troll+face+art+painting+meme+online+internet+character+troll.jpeg
Well, another Celestia's a dickhole fic. Yay.
6168143
Um, where are you getting this? The only reference to Celestia in the story is referring to the fact that she's the one who wanted Discord released and who asked Fluttershy to reform him.
Making someone suffer a fate worse than death isn't being a dickhole if there is literally no other way to stop them from making everyone else suffer a fate worse than death. I love Discord, but a world where he can do anything he wants with no restraint whatsoever would have been a horrible, horrible place to live, and you don't even need to assume he is any worse than he's shown to be in the series to recognize this. Discord literally stands against the concept of stability and safety. Ponies who were alive when he was turned to stone would likely have had PTSD from his reign for the rest of their lives.
I mean, I recognize that what Celestia and Luna did to Discord was awful... but they had no other choice, and this story doesn't imply that they did. So where are you getting "Celestia is a dickhole?"
6185636
Yes, thank you!
This is sad, but it's not a tragedy. A tragedy is
Yes, there is also something called a tragedy that means just that something very bad has happened, but in the genre sense, the tag tragedy is referring to the first definition. Tragedy was a bit of a mislabeling, seeing how it had a happy/heartwarming ending, and the tone was one of love and tenderness. Sad is enough.
I really enjoyed this story and shipped them a little more because of this story. I know it's not supposed to be romancy, but I still think they're cute together, all the same.
6186432
I'm never quite sure what to do with tags, as it seems there's no room for flexibility on some of them. For example, I've written stories that have both sad and comedic moments in them, yet I can't use both tags.
Tags I also wish existed were "drama" and "hurt/comfort."
6185636 And your response is too daunting to reply to, so I'm just going to buckle out, curl up into a little ball, and go hide in that dark corner over there.
There really is no guarantee that what we're seeing isn't all in our heads. is reality truly objective or just an elaborate illusion. is death merely the awakening of one of our fellow dreamers? Are dreams we have just the failure of our minds to continue having this dream. perhaps someone is trying to shake us awake at those times.
Or perhaps that is when "GOD" is sitting at a simple desk, thinking of what to write next for his unpublished book called life. Maybe we are all semi-sentient programs in vastly more complicated video game whose selling feature is "programs" who think and feel, and our world is a constantly updated sandbox for programers to play god in and we can't remeber how the world used to be more primative and different because that line of code has been erased. Or perhaps I'm just that little voice in the back of your brain, sceaming for you to please wake up, but you CAN'T can you? You can't wake up, and because I'm a part of you, niether can I. Who knows. Maybe I'm just going crazy, or maybe you are, or maybe we BOTH already are. We just can't find the exit from inside our heads because we're so deep in we've lost ourselves. Reality is what you make it.
The concept is simple--well, perhaps not simple, but one that has been around for centuries since Descartes--yet the story is lovely. I've read stories where Discord has suffered trauma and nightmares because of the statue, but I've never read one where he distrusted reality itself. Now that you've introduced the idea, I can't believe I've never thought of it before, especially since he has god-like powers.
It's cute and deep stories like this that make me love this site.
Really beautiful story about how friends are what keep us from just being alone forever in our own illusions.
6327574
Thank you, Jordan.
Sweet filly Celestia, this was perfect in so many ways. I love the themes of derealization and the way it's explored, and all the fluffiness and, just... asfdgvfghgjhkgyhjg this is wonderful thank you
Everything about this is perfect and sweet. I like how you chose to keep whether Discord's feelings or romantic or platonic kinda vague; it stresses how strong their relationship is either way,
It's not that often I get to upvote a Discord story, since so many people can't capture his character. You did that very nicely here, and it made such a difference. A fine read.
Very interesting. Well done.
this was absolutely increadibly
thank you so much for this
woow so inspiring
This is one of the BEST, MOST AMAZING Discord stories I've ever read! It was always in the back in my mind when I'm working on my Fluttercord fics about how Discord had to endure a thousand years of that Hell and yet it was glossed over in the cartoons. Well, you wrote the definitive response to that fact and it's perfect!
Nothing I write will measure up but I don't care because this is AWESOME!
Think this is one of the best Discord stories ever written.
This was so sweet, and also makes me feel so bad for Discord. I never thought about him experiencing lasting effects from being turned to stone, but it would make so much sense.
I don't often comment on these older stories but I must say, this is probably my favourite story on this site so far
This is only the second story I've ever seen that took his sense deprivation into account. Unless his chaos could be used internally even Dizzy would go insane.
Honestly, it’s so refreshing to see a Discord fic that really tackles the sensory deprivation he went through while in stone, as opposed to it him just being very bored by it. Also, you really nailed the general tone of love in the piece without having to clarify what kind it was, which really shows how beautiful their relationship is because they’re so close. Adorable :)