• Member Since 30th Nov, 2014
  • offline last seen Mar 21st, 2021

Captain Wuzz

\m/ I like the devil's music (and his beard). Hide your daughters etc. I mostly write Discord stuff, because nobody parties like a trickster god.


Discord has the post gala blues, and he ends up on Rarity's couch, bawling, eating ice cream and pouring his heart out about Fluttershy. Poor Rarity.

Spoilers from Meet New Friends But Keep Discord.

Dedicated to my friend Topher, who is going through a hard time. Hope this makes her laugh.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 82 )

OMG I love that episode! Remember when Discord almost sent Tree Hugger to another dimension? xD That was cool.

I saw this on my cellphone and thought "Well then. Guess I'd better get my laptop so I can write her a review that will no doubt rave about how wonderful and brilliant this fic is sure to be."
And what do you know? I was right. I don't even need powers to do that.
I admire you for so many reasons and this was the first reason. You never disappoint. This is once again going to be upvoted and put in favorites.
My fave parts:

"Well, when you were...er...in the "game" as it were, how did you approach things?"

"From the right. Sometimes from the left. Occasionally from above."

HAHAHAHA! Yes. He would totally say that! Reminds me of my fic where he says "Well, you see, two and two make four." Gotta love the smart@ss Discord.

"Give or take. It was with the Andromeda Galaxy. Though truth be told it was kind of fizzling out around the first 1500. We didn't talk much and by then we had agreed to see other people openly."

Oh my gosh Discord. You're talking about the comet. You'll never admit you loved a comet to Rarity. And now she thinks you were in a serious mutual relationship with a sentient being, when it was a space rock. Nice connection to Wanderlust. I love that kind of thing.

Rarity could see more tears threatening to fall from Discord, only this time they weren't the overly dramatic tears that she could roll her eyes at. They were genuine because Discord was trying to hold them back. She softened a little. The tapestry could wait. She would ask Twilight if she had a cleaning spell. Helping a friend was more important right now, and she did consider Discord a friend, albeit an annoying one that was difficult to understand. Besides, it wasn't as if she hadn't had her own experiences with jealousy and bad behaviour. She thought about how jealous she had been when Trenderhoof seemed to prefer Applejack's company. She didn't even know him very well, she had simply wanted validation. Discord and Fluttershy were best friends, and were very close. If anything his worry over losing Fluttershy was more valid than her worry that Trenderhoof wasn't attracted to her. What wasn't valid was his appalling behaviour at the gala. However, he did seem genuinely sorry about it. She also vaguely wondered if she had the power to make the universe disappear when she was upset, whether she would exercise it out of sheer frustration or pain. In that respect the Chaos god had been surprisingly restrained.

Two reasons why I love this--One, because it talks about Discord's tears. Sometimes people don't describe tears enough. What kind are they? Are they serious or joking? Are they slowly rolling down the cheek, or are they rushing down the face in big fat tears trying to crash to droplets early? Tears are important, and describing them allows you to picture things differently. The picture of a truly sad and crying Discord is currently piercing my heart.
Second reason--this was an EXCELLENT point that I haven't really thought of in terms of Rarity. If SHE had chaos powers--if anyone did--would THEY have reacted like that? Would she have created a rift too, or as you said, destroyed the universe? The only reason most others can't get in trouble like that is because it's impossible for them. That's very insightful. I must remember this.
Amazing job. And you are once again a pro at characterization. Already knew you were when it came to Discord, and now Rarity too. Awesome sauce all the way.

Pinkie scared him.

Sploosh. Called it.
Okay, back to reading.

Weeee! What a fun, funny, yet touching one shot:heart: I can't tell you how much I love this:pinkiehappy: But I'll try:derpytongue2: This could be a legit canon episode (minus the sexual parts of their conversation), but either way, I would love to see Discord realize his feelings similar to this and go to Rarity for love advice and she can play matchmaker:trollestia::heart: Yes! Rarity and Discord girly friendship is a go!

I enjoyed this! Discord dialog was done well, and the whole thing felt perfect!

Sir Crabington Seal of Approval!

I'll admit, as soon as Rarity started talking about Discord's previous relationships, I screamed "Don't you DARE bring HIM up!". My parents gave me the strangest look. ( 'Him' being Discord first asshole god of decay boyfriend..)

This is gold! I've always wanted some Discord and Rarity interaction!~

Soon as I saw this, I thought, "This is gonna be good."

Yeah, yeah... it was.

I kind of--actually, no, really--want to see Discord interact with Rarity more, out of the rest of the girls aside from Fluttershy. Once they're more friendly with one another, of course. I think they'd make really good friends.

Wonderful as usual. Good old talk for Discord to get his priorities straight. There's hope for you yet, pal.

It was... meh.5 overall. Rarity seemed to be really in-character and some of the one liners from Discord were humorous, but the rest kinda falls right on "average and forgettable".

Yes! Rarity as the Fairy Godmother for chaos gods!


[Oh my gosh Discord. You're talking about the comet. You'll never admit you loved a comet to Rarity. And now she thinks you were in a serious mutual relationship with a sentient being, when it was a space rock. Nice connection to Wanderlust. I love that kind of thing.

I actually wasn't putting continuity from that story into this one, but if people want to read it that way then I'm perfectly happy for them to do so.:)

Second reason--this was an EXCELLENT point that I haven't really thought of in terms of Rarity. If SHE had chaos powers--if anyone did--would THEY have reacted like that? Would she have created a rift too, or as you said, destroyed the universe? The only reason most others can't get in trouble like that is because it's impossible for them.

We see a bit of this in Inspiration Manifestation. She can go mad with power when she has it. Obviously not to the same extent as Cordy, who can rip open holes in spacetime, but she can empathize to some extent. They are more alike than they realize. Both can be control freaks, both of them overreact to things and yes, they DO both like clothes.

Amazing job. And you are once again a pro at characterization. Already knew you were when it came to Discord, and now Rarity too. Awesome sauce all the way.

Aw, thank you. :twilightblush: Always a pleasure to read your thoughts.

Hnnng, this was such an enjoyable read! You my friend are getting another watcher if I wasn't already! :twilightsmile:


Haha thanks! Yes, I would love more Rarity and Discord interaction. They're both so overdramatic.


As I said to tater, I didn't intend for there to be continuity between the two stories, but I wasn't going to bring HIM up again, because like Discord, I've had enough of him! I kind of think it's a given that Discord's had relationships since he is "centuries old" (I write him as a lot older) but he's not terribly good at keeping them due to being a.) a pain in the backside b.) a childish chaos god who doesn't take the feelings of others very seriously.

Thank you for getting the writing muscles working again! I owe it to you that I wrote this! :raritywink:


I'm glad you approve! Thank you! :twilightsmile:

Rarity would totally be best Fairy Godmother to Discord--though it wouldn't be easy. Imagine the hilarity though... >:)


Thank you, you most excellent crustacean, you! :)

This was great. The interaction is great and it feels like a pretty natural expansion on the episode.

Discord's dialogue is a little off here and there, somehow too "normal". It's hard to put a finger on it, but here and there, I just can't hear it in his voice. But it's only in a fraction of this fic, so no big issue.

Still, good work. Well done.

Happy writing.

I think Discord could have an interesting talk with a bunch of ponies. From most comptetent to least.
Cadance (obviously about basics of love and relationships)
Rarity (more or less about those things but she would be less competent advisor since Rarity is kind of failing at romance, too)
Spike (basically understand him completely but is as incompetent and immature as Discord)


The thing is, even though everyone (except possibly Fluttershy) knows about Discord's crush, he's unlikely to want to talk to multiple people about it because, as I stated in my author's note, he's a bit of a Tsundere.

He can keep his secret with Rarity because she will keep confidence (though he thinks it's simply because he has threatened her fabric with gross bodily fluids, because Discord still struggles with the idea that anyone genuinely likes him) but I think he'd be worried about going to Cadance because that would be putting all his cards on the table and revealing too much to those in power.

I could see him having a draconequus to dragon talk with Spike though. As I said elsewhere, I grew up with all these teenage shows where girls were worried about whether the cute boy in high school liked them or not and tried to seek their approval. I'm pretty pleased the boys in MLP are falling all over themselves over female characters this time round.


Thank you so much for your comments and crit. Glad you enjoyed it! Would you mind telling me in PM what parts of the dialogue felt off? I may not be able to respond right away because in a few hours I'll only have access to my phone and this site is wonky on it. Anything that helps me improve. If you'd rather not, no worries--and thanks for reading. :)

Lovely story.

Now imagining Rarity in a poofy and sparkley Fairy God mother dress, lol:derpytongue2:

I can so picture this scene! Rarity relating to how she would handle having his amount of power was amazing. Him being such a git in his parting shot was classic too. Love it!

Y'know, until you said it, I hadn't thought how apt the expression "blood from a stone" is for Discord, what with his dalliances with enforced statuary.

Damn, hope this gets featured! IT'S SO DARN PERFECT HOW IN EQUESTRIA DO YOU DO THIS?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

So I kinda hate Fluttercord....like really, really hate Fluttercord....but this was surprisingly good.

Well, this is objectively a pretty decent story, but one part just ruined my enjoyment completely:

"I'm in love with Fluttershy," he mumbled.


"You know?"

"Everybody knows! You aren't exactly subtle about it."

1. That's practically pedophilic. One reason pedophilia is taboo is because one person has much more experience and can easily manipulate the other, even without knowing it, and that remains true for Discord and Fluttershy. They could still share love for each other, but it'd be more like parents sharing love with their children, and this implies a romantic relationship.

2. "Everybody knows" is complete bullshit. There are people in the community other than me that feel that Discord and Fluttershy are not in a relationship and shouldn't be, and Discord has never displayed signs typical of people who have crushes on other people.

Edit: Oh my god yes! Pour your hate all over me! I'm such a dirty, dirty horse!

This story has been featured. Just checked

5999417 it's an interesting idea that ancient equals necessarily more mature. Based on the most recent episode I would have to disagree. In fact, if mutual Fluttercord were indeed an actual mutual thing in the Equestria universe, I'd be more worried about poor Discord being at the mercy of the much more emotionally mature Fluttershy. However the idea of "everyone knows" in the context of this story refers specifically to everyone "knowing" that Discord has a one-sided crush on Fluttershy which, if true and not acted upon (and assuming that Discord dating her is, in some way, still a violation of Fluttershy's free will) is still not pedophilic if it remains a crush maintained solely by Discord. It just being creepy that he feels that way is a personal choice of course. My aunt and uncle are 35 years apart and neither of them is at the mercy of the other, they're both old enough to make their own decisions even if one is of an age socially unacceptable to most.


Really? I doubt being centuries old and once a ruler of Equestria makes discord less mature than Fluttershy. She might have him beat in kindness and some aspects of friendship, but it's ridiculous to think that discord couldn't call up some of his countless memories to outsmart Fluttershy.

I take back what I said about pedophilia. Discord dating Fluttershy would be more like a human man-child dating a friendly chimpanzee.


Now now, you don't have to be rude. I'm sure the chimpanzee isn't returning your calls for a very good reason.

"Have you...er...ever...you know?"
"Have I ever what?"
"With a mare?"
To her surprise, Discord threw back his head and cackled.
"Rarity, I've not only been with mares, I've been with stallions. I've been with people who weren't even ponies. Do you really think little old moi has never done the horizontal mambo?"

I died at that part. :rainbowlaugh:


Ha, it's funny because your implying I'm a man-child by referencing my own comment.

Except it's not funny.

Way to go for the low hanging fruit.

And speaking of low hanging fruit, I think that's a pretty good way to pick of chimps if your last monkey-friend went ape-shit and left. I mention this because people involved in recent break ups tend to push their own feelings on other people, and you seemed like you could use the help. After all, it's not interspecies if you're both chimpanzees.

Edit: Don't try to start a flame-war with me. I have more stamina than anyone.


Well you don't have to get defensive about it, it's almost like you're a great big conceited wind-bag spreading an opinion no one cares for all about like fertilizer. Flung fertilizer. Hm, no... it couldn't be...

After all, it's not interspecies if you're both chimpanzees.

Aha! So you're a chimpanzee AND a man-child! It all makes sense now!


Okay, you officially suck at insults. I mean, that insult was older than the dawn of man.

Now how about we don't fill the comment section with flaming. I'd be happy to demean you over PMs, but it's a bit rude to the author to do it all over his comment section.

Edit: her comment section.

5999417 pretty sure FS is old enough to make And understand the consequences of her own decisions.

Granted, I'm not a fan of Fluttercord, but that's because I prefer flutterdash.

And, as a personal side note: after a few thousand years, I can only imagine that physical age takes second fiddle to mental maturity.


Still sounding pretty offended there, buddy. I mean... I'm not the one trying to call Fluttercord a pedophilic relationship or a union between a slightly more advanced creature and a one of your immediate relatives... ON a Fluttercord story. That's like walking into a sports bar in a team's hometown and yelling that the team sucks. Eminently foolish! We can see who's swimming in downvotes, after all. And not even one from me, because I find you to be a mildly amusing distraction from more important matters.


Legally she's old enough, but let's consider a situation: say I'm Discord, and I like Fluttershy, so I decide the approximate course of action for every possible event for the next hundred years within the bounds of my knowledge and experience, and unexpected things only happen once in a few years. Of course, I do this to maximize Fluttershy's happiness. But if Fluttershy did not or could not plan similarly, then I would have much more freedom to steer her towards any decision, especially in the long run. So would Fluttershy still have free will?

You may say that Discord could not possibly be that manipulative, or even that it's not possible to be that manipulative, but that's exactly what he did in the Return of Harmony. If Celestia, another ancient being, had not sent Twilight her old friendship letters, then the entire mane six would have been broken through sheer manipulation. Fluttershy may have been able to withstand him then, but that's only because he couldn't understand her at that point in time, and he only has to understand around twenty years of experience to fully understand her, which is nothing compared to all the experience he can draw on. Once he understands all those lessons on common decency Fluttershy is teaching them, which would probably take the length of a typical childhood as his ability to learn seems fine, there is nothing that can put Fluttershy on equal terms with Discord mentally.


Hmm. I find your analogy apt, but do the downvotes really matter?

I mean, why should I care about the number of people that are wrong? :derpytongue2:

6001415 He cheated the first time around. And if he's doing his best to make her happy, how is that different from any normal relationship?

Honestly i think we've got something of a disconnect in our relative perceptions of morality.


Yeah, I think I value free will a lot more.

There were and are entire societies that like to establish that there is limited or no free will though, so apparently that's a thing that works. That kind of thinking apparently leads to things like caste systems though, and I don't really like those societies, but that's a personal qualm.

6001438 It's less about free will for me and more about the age of consent and what that means both legally and morally.

If someone is the age of consent, they should be capable of making responsible choices on their own. Further, even if Fluttershy gives up her free will, if sheddid it of her own accord, and is generally happy with therresults then why is it bad?

Does freedom not extend to the freedom to choose not to be free?


I don't really consider the legality of something to have any meaning. The morality of the age of consent, on the other hand, seems more to do with making sure a relationship is fair, which is why I think it applies here.

And Fluttershy choosing to throw away her free will knowingly depends on her knowing she would be throwing away her free will, which both her and Discord might not realize. Besides, if you use happiness as a measure of whether something is good or not, I could just decide that the most morally correct thing to do would be to isolate every human into their own cells and inject dopamine and ecstasy into their brain until they die.

Freedom does extend to the freedom to die, which, for me, is equivalent to not being free, but that doesn't mean that dying is a good thing or should be cherished.

6001520 You Are free to do so, just as people are free to stop you

The point im attempting to make (more likely poorly as not) is that advocating freedom means allowing people to make their own decisions regardless of how it will affect them personally, because it's their free will they are deciding with.


Ah, I see your point.

It doesn't mean I have to like their decisions though. I was pretty much just stating that opinion in most of my comments here. I actually haven't even voted on the story: I feel I can't judge it properly since the DiscoShy thing gives me the willies.

6001545 fair nuff. As stated previously, I'm more a fan of flutterdash on account of my tendency to ship the blue one with anything with a pulse (and some things without; looking at you Tom.)



Hah! That reminds me: I think one of the first fics I remember reading on here was a shipping fic with Rainbow Dash and a watermellon. It was glorious.

Well then, good luck on your FlutterDash adventures!

6001569 heh, thanks. After all the places I've been, I think I'll need it. Been pleasant chatting with you.

Kinda wish this story went on, but otherwise, this was a great read :pinkiehappy:

:raritywink:" Just look at my Spikey , He is a true Gentledrake, Discord can you do the same?"

:raritystarry: "Though he did sulk at Pony Joes Donut shop with the first Gala. . .I was such a nag."

:moustache: "Discord didn't toast his sweaters and spit in Prince Bluebloods drink."

:twilightoops::raritystarry: Wut!:pinkiegasp::applejackconfused::rainbowlaugh:

:trollestia: Spike!

"Er...you did realize that Fluttershy and Tree Hugger weren't an item?"

I dunno. Fluttershy seemed really into the hippie chick. Like, more than you'd expect from just a casual friendship. :unsuresweetie:

I mean, I was never quite sure on my headcanon regarding Flutter's sexual orientation, but that episode might change things.

Oh well. Over-all, not a bad piece. Though, your dialogue looks a bit separated from your narration, so you might want to work on that.

A few things

1. I could really relate to Discord in this story.
2. I just love the picture that you used for this fanfic. Discord has such a cute smile

Wouldn't you prefer to Discord as an "Individual" "Being" or "Creature" instead of person?
Otherwise this story is added to my favorites. It is very easy to relate to.

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