Oh my goodness GO MARK!!! WHOOO!!! BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF CUMULONIMBUS!!!!! i really enjoyed the story and the arc ending was really just what I needed. I find this story getting more interesting by the minute, and I really am glad that now Pyros can rest in peace now. I can sense some..
Well it may come soon. Great chapter and I can't wait for the next chapter.
Yes that bitch ever ring and that panzy mayor are off to live in hell and the kids are safe now that is a way to help someone bitchslap their tormentors from beyond the grave and that beating he give the mayor totally called for.
Thanks for the monolith of a chapter, was worth every word.
That, and if people don't think it's the tightest shit as to how meta this story is in relation to three other very well written stories then they can get out of my face.
6262446 It's a wonderful thing. All three referenced stories are works of art, much like yours is; extra motivation as well to be writing my own stuff. So, keep doing what you're doing
Ever Ring and the mayor has treated those orphans badly for quite sometimes...I think about 20-25 years would be more along the line...But, it is good to see them get arrested non the less. also.....i hate you for putting the image of spiders having sex in my head... ct.weirdnutdaily.com/ol/wn/sw/i40/2/5/29/wnd_c83dfccbaa7e53f13dae287a652efd97.jpg
JUSTICE YYYEEEEEEEEES!!! at long last those two get convicted. Though for them the crystal mines IS tartarus once Cadence and Shining Armor get word. Compared to that Tartarus would be paradise.
Also glad all that crap with the spider is over with. It was getting kind of monotonous reading about it (skipped over most of it). Also it seems a strong bond is forming between Fleetfoot and Mark. I sense some sexiness developing between these two soon. Can't get much of a reading on Spitfire, but she seems to be coming along just as well. Though at a slower pace. But I feel the reason this is the case is because you dedicated almost an entire chapter for Fleetfoot and Mark, Hopefully you do the same with Spitfire. Because if you don't she'll seem pretty shallow in contrast to Fleetfoot.
6263216 I have that on my to read list! MUST READ NOW! Thanks dudes, you guys rule! //flees// Awesome job on the story here as well author, you are amazeballs.
Yes! I'm so glad Ever Ring and the mayor got what they deserved! I loved the interactions between Mark, Fleetfoot and Spitfire. The three of them are getting quite close, especially Mark and Fleety. I'd love to see him get closer to Spitfire as well. I eagerly await the next chapter!
I'm enjoying the story so far, it's progressing nicely. You might want to tone down all the references you put in though, I feel it's distracting from the actual story.
I had expected the trial to be more Earth -like: judge, jury, attorney, lawyer, etc... But the accused weren't even allowed to speak in their defense. Doesn't Equestria have civil rights?
Also, I would have accepted the Major paying Ever Ring for exploiting the foals sexually or as slave labor (like it sadly happens in some orphanages specially in Third World countries). But for beatings? that's new.
I am sorry, but I really don't like these villans they just don't feel genuine. Being a dick to kids for no reason other than itll make him feel better isn't something a public official would do. The problem is that it's been going on for at least 15+ years and abused ponies haven't been coming out of the woodwork? That 15 years of adult orphans who should know better. And even if they were too scared to come forward why didn't Fleet or Spitfire try gather them up to build a case? Assuming that they were 18 when they left and are 28 now. That's at least 10 years of other orphans who experienced the same things. They could have pulled togeher.
And the biggest problem I have is that the Mayor was never challenge in all this time by a political rival? Assuming that Mayor is not an elected position an thus no rival would present, that still doesn't explain what they would gain from doing this. If the answer is they are just dicks and gets off hurting kids then these are just mary sue villians. The sentiment of I don't care about these guys your just suppose to hate them, just makes me lose respect for this resolution. Kind of like Skeletor got what he deserved, or oh look Cobra Comander got his just deserts.
Then I feel like at some point he would get kidnapped in a situation that should have easily been avoided if he took two seconds to listen to the little voice in his head.
Then I feel like at some point he would get kidnapped in a situation that should have easily been avoided if he took two seconds to listen to the little voice in his head.
Listen to the voices in you head kiddies, it could keep you from accidentally becoming a cliche.
Finally they got what they deserved!! And I like how the subtle things are starting to show, in terms of Spitfire and Fleetfoot liking him more and more. I especially like how they are just cuddling at the end, its incredibly peaceful. I just wanted them to kiss already, no matter how small and sweet!
Wow... just... wow... I came here for something entierly different, seeing an M with tags that it has, but this story is at least a thousand times better than any of those can get to, I am actually writing this with a little bit misty eyes. This is sure to become one of my favorite fanfictions of all times, keep up the awesome work! I really look forward to future chapters (Also: Considering I've read the whole story in a day and a half... yeah... that means it's not just a usual time-killer for me)
6268806 I agree with this person. wholeheartedly. It has been a while since I was so captivated by a story that it keeps my attention till the end. To hell with the people who say creativity is dead on this site. Bravo, good sir! Bravo...
Noo i wanted to know your version of fleetfoots name
Oh my goodness GO MARK!!! WHOOO!!! BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF CUMULONIMBUS!!!!!
i really enjoyed the story and the arc ending was really just what I needed. I find this story getting more interesting by the minute, and I really am glad that now Pyros can rest in peace now. I can sense some..
Well it may come soon. Great chapter and I can't wait for the next chapter.
So adorable I think i'm gonna have a heart attack!
*Clear!*
Yes that bitch ever ring and that panzy mayor are off to live in hell and the kids are safe now that is a way to help someone bitchslap their tormentors from beyond the grave and that beating he give the mayor totally called for.
Thanks for the monolith of a chapter, was worth every word.
That, and if people don't think it's the tightest shit as to how meta this story is in relation to three other very well written stories then they can get out of my face.
6262344 Glad you like. Really hoping that the second part of your comment is a good thing.
6262446 It's a wonderful thing. All three referenced stories are works of art, much like yours is; extra motivation as well to be writing my own stuff. So, keep doing what you're doing
6262453 Glad to motivate you.
Please Keep pushing out new chapters! I love this story so much!
now....... i can rest easy
goodnight
Ever Ring and the mayor has treated those orphans badly for quite sometimes...I think about 20-25 years would be more along the line...But, it is good to see them get arrested non the less.
also.....i hate you for putting the image of spiders having sex in my head...
ct.weirdnutdaily.com/ol/wn/sw/i40/2/5/29/wnd_c83dfccbaa7e53f13dae287a652efd97.jpg
JUSTICE YYYEEEEEEEEES!!! at long last those two get convicted. Though for them the crystal mines IS tartarus once Cadence and Shining Armor get word. Compared to that Tartarus would be paradise.
Neat
stayclassy
"Hey, Batman Luna, what do you want with your drink?"
"Just-Ice!"
What's the title of the story with Will and Rainbow Dash? It's the only one referenced that I'm not familiar with.
Hmm... Spitfire in a swimsuit? Interesting...
derpicdn.net/img/2013/10/15/449498/large.png
Also glad all that crap with the spider is over with. It was getting kind of monotonous reading about it (skipped over most of it). Also it seems a strong bond is forming between Fleetfoot and Mark. I sense some sexiness developing between these two soon. Can't get much of a reading on Spitfire, but she seems to be coming along just as well. Though at a slower pace. But I feel the reason this is the case is because you dedicated almost an entire chapter for Fleetfoot and Mark, Hopefully you do the same with Spitfire. Because if you don't she'll seem pretty shallow in contrast to Fleetfoot.
Awwww so much yes!
Aaahahahaha, I love it, awesome job man!
I recognized two references, Third Roommate, and Bon Bon's Acceptance.
but who's the third?! Dx
tell me.
Awesome job again!
That bastard mayor and that bitch both got what they deserved!
Keep it up!
YEA!! Rest in Hell Ever Ring!!! And don't forget to scream at the top of your lungs as you burn for what you did!!!
6262846 Pretty sure the third is Say You Love Me, Say You Don't by SleepyThePanda.
Can't believe I actually recognized and read all three stories you referenced there
ScarEning OTP
6262995 Oooh ,I've read that one, but the guy's name in that one is Anon Dx
Eh, still love this.
6262995
Nope. It's To Find A Rainbow. Both are good reads tho.
6263118
6262995
6262803 The story with Will and Rainbow Dash is called "To Find a Rainbow" by Jeremy Storm.
6262763 I knew I could count on you for those kinds of jokes.
6263216 I have that on my to read list!
MUST READ NOW!
Thanks dudes, you guys rule!
//flees//
Awesome job on the story here as well author, you are amazeballs.
I salute you good sir, another excellent chapter. o7
This was a good arc. I wonder what is going to happen in the next one.
Yes! I'm so glad Ever Ring and the mayor got what they deserved!
I loved the interactions between Mark, Fleetfoot and Spitfire. The three of them are getting quite close, especially Mark and Fleety. I'd love to see him get closer to Spitfire as well.
I eagerly await the next chapter!
I'm glad mark punched the mayor. Hooray for pain!
So. Much. Crossover. .... Maurice, Will, and Chris.... So. Awesome!
THIS is why I look forward to these new chapters all the time! I mean minus the whole Scary/Frightening action...
Great way to end an arc
Loved it
Want more
No I NEED MORE
I'm enjoying the story so far, it's progressing nicely. You might want to tone down all the references you put in though, I feel it's distracting from the actual story.
6263219
I had expected the trial to be more Earth -like: judge, jury, attorney, lawyer, etc... But the accused weren't even allowed to speak in their defense. Doesn't Equestria have civil rights?
Also, I would have accepted the Major paying Ever Ring for exploiting the foals sexually or as slave labor (like it sadly happens in some orphanages specially in Third World countries). But for beatings? that's new.
6265380 I had thought about going that route with the orphanage, but decided against it since I didn't want to put this into an entirely dark mood.
6265380 Equestria does have civil rights. It just depends on which court a person goes to that determines the proceedings.
That was an awesome story. I really liked the ending! I think that a lot of us can see something with Mark and Fleetfoot.
I am sorry, but I really don't like these villans they just don't feel genuine. Being a dick to kids for no reason other than itll make him feel better isn't something a public official would do. The problem is that it's been going on for at least 15+ years and abused ponies haven't been coming out of the woodwork? That 15 years of adult orphans who should know better. And even if they were too scared to come forward why didn't Fleet or Spitfire try gather them up to build a case? Assuming that they were 18 when they left and are 28 now. That's at least 10 years of other orphans who experienced the same things. They could have pulled togeher.
And the biggest problem I have is that the Mayor was never challenge in all this time by a political rival? Assuming that Mayor is not an elected position an thus no rival would present, that still doesn't explain what they would gain from doing this. If the answer is they are just dicks and gets off hurting kids then these are just mary sue villians. The sentiment of I don't care about these guys your just suppose to hate them, just makes me lose respect for this resolution. Kind of like Skeletor got what he deserved, or oh look Cobra Comander got his just deserts.
Which voice?
I. Need. MOOOOOOAAAAARRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!
Please?
Listen to the voices in you head kiddies, it could keep you from accidentally becoming a cliche.
Finally they got what they deserved!!
And I like how the subtle things are starting to show, in terms of Spitfire and Fleetfoot liking him more and more. I especially like how they are just cuddling at the end, its incredibly peaceful. I just wanted them to kiss already, no matter how small and sweet!
6266435 All of them.
Wait didn't Suprise and Steel own Scary and not Lyra And Bon Bon? either that or I'm insane
Wow... just... wow... I came here for something entierly different, seeing an M with tags that it has, but this story is at least a thousand times better than any of those can get to, I am actually writing this with a little bit misty eyes. This is sure to become one of my favorite fanfictions of all times, keep up the awesome work! I really look forward to future chapters (Also: Considering I've read the whole story in a day and a half... yeah... that means it's not just a usual time-killer for me)
6268806 I agree with this person. wholeheartedly. It has been a while since I was so captivated by a story that it keeps my attention till the end. To hell with the people who say creativity is dead on this site. Bravo, good sir! Bravo...
I like how that was resolved, although I would've liked to find out what was actually in that folder that could do what nothing else could.
not bad still good
6262161 Footfleet is her real name!