Story caught my eye, was reading the premise when I had a little mini-jump after seeing what inspired this.
Now I'm planning on reading this after my breakfast.

5857203 I hope you enjoy it, then.

This is how I pictured Spitfire outside of the hospital room.

5857314 That was what I was going for.

This is going to be amazing XD

Interesting premise, nice to see a HiE that isn't in Ponyville or some other kind of cliche. I'll follow this and see where it takes me.

This is going to be very interesting!

Great minds think alike? I've read all of those so far. Looking forward to what you come up with friend.
-Be seein' ya on the flip side

Aw man! Im currently reading all those too! (And waiting for chapters *grumble grumble*)
Those stories changed me from absolutely despising HiE stories, to enjoying them quite a bit. I just have to move my bed outta my room and move the futon in, check my notifications, and I'll get right to reading this! Can't wait for it

5858405 Hope you enjoy it.

5858413 me too lol.
one thing though. How long do you plan to have this story be? Or is it just a "let the story guide itself" sort of thing? Id be cool whatever way

5858440 I have a few things planned out, so it can go pretty far. It all depends on what gets put together, taken out, or expanded on. It will be at least a decently sized story, I know that much.

great start just next time use some sort of break line between scene jumps, time skips, and flashbacks.

.......................
or
*****************
or
_______________________

they just make the story flow a bit cleaner and easier to follow

Was this supposed to be in my world group?

God bless

5859063 Possibly. I may have added it by mistake.

Good story so far. And I wonder if Mark's been taking lessons from TD, they could probably be related.

I saw a giant Lyra icon in the comments... I squeed.

nice start to this! Its looking like a good story my friend! :D

5859302 This is probably my near sleepy state, but who is TD?

The icing to that cake, though, was that I ended up punching the lavender princess herself.

But did Mark punch Twilight with all of the quiet dignity and grace that he could muster?

5859348 There was no quiet dignity to it at all. He was going for the knock-out.

Okay, so you convinced me.

Spitfire hates Mark.

Therefore sex will happen

I really enjoyed the intro there. As far as artwork goes, I do know a few artists that could do coverart for you *commission wise*

5860931 If I had the money, then I would.

5860931 Whenever you get the chance, I would like to know of people that would be willing to possibly make me coverart.

5859374
I edited my comment to include a link to the relevant story that I got the "quiet dignity and grace" quip from. (It's also the story that 5859302 was referring to. )

5862015 Yeah, I saw the story and have it on my read later list. Thanks for telling me where it came from also.

5862037
You're welcome.

Alright, so in between all the real life crap ive had to do the last couple days, i finished the first chapter. And it does indeed look promising! My only complaint is that during the conversation between Mark and Fleetfoot, the whole thing came off as robotic. I'm not sure if this will change in later chapters as they get to lnow each other, but i Would suggest them saying something a bit more lighthearted, like "whats up?" Or making a joke to clear the tension.
im looking forward to the next chapter.

5862795 It will get better later on. It was set-up this way because there is slight tension between them all. Fleetfoot is a little nicer, but she's very indifferent towards him, but more of that is explained later on. As they get used to each other, they will be more expressive about what they say, with a few jokes to help ease tension.

5862819 ah, i hoped it was just that, wonderful!

And so it begins.

5861287

Hey again. Just got off work, heres the list of people/artists for you:

Scootafail

Foxenawolf

Ruck

Fox is pretty reasonable. For what your wanting, prob looking at, for a colored piece with two characters... $70-75 but shes very fast.

Next is Scootafail. While I can't give you a quote from the top of my head, shes a very talented artist.

and Finally is Ruck. Good friend of mine and he does many different types of drawings from ponies to anthro to whatever for the most part. Tomorrow Ill know a price for exactly what your wanting.

Wait... I helped inspired this!? I just now saw that! That's awesome!

5866728 How did you miss that? You're like the first one mentioned on that list.

5866770
I umm... didn't click the '+more' button until now. But thats really cool that I could give you some inspiration with my weird little fic. I can't wait to read more.

5866780 Glad you're looking forward to more. I just wish I could find a better picture for this story.

5866786
Hmmm... I see that is a problem... Well I can't promise anything at the moment, but I might be able to do a quick thing with like a bust of them both with annoyed looks. Working on my next chapter now so idk when I will be able to do this.

5867187 It's no big rush at the moment. You do your thing first since this will be decent sized story where this current cover picture can hold out.

Even if I wasn't in Spitfire's physical shape I still wouldn't be afraid of them, pansy ass.

5868959 I have mentioned before in an earlier comment that the conversation is to be like that. He's not really comfortable around the two mares since he hasn't really gotten to know them.

5869263 yeah but lets not forget how vicious women can end up becoming when they're pissed, regardless of race, nationality, and, in this case, species. Because of this reason, I can understand why Mark is scared of Spitfire.

it's like the third roommate, with the feel of hate thy neighbor. i like it

stayclassy

Looking forward to more!

Well, that was certainly entertaining.

Until Spitfire's absolutely atrocious characterization and actions basically ruined everything else. And then the ruins of any possible enjoyment further went down the drain when all of the characters seemingly had no problem with Spitfire coming very close to committing freaking murder.

I'm honestly shocked. The characterization seemed so nice up to that point, and everyone was so in character, but the moment Spitfire was introduced absolutely every sign of good characterization just vanished. Did I miss something?

5918424
You'll miss when the human suddenly and easily forgives her even though she's still being mean because he's in love with her or something- you know- typical HiE allowing himself to be pushed around and opening himself for more pain in the name of friendship or love. I've seen it too many times.
Unless someone is able to honestly say and show that Spitfire reconciles her violence and truly EARNS forgiveness from the human, I'm not going any further with this story. I've seen this too many times to keep reading.

5918424

I'm gonna have to agree with you on this one.

This story was going well until this sudden violent scene with Spitfire and Mark.

Honestly, I could forgive it, if it wasn't for everyone else's lack of giving a shit to the whole thing. Especially Twilight.

It just seems so irresponsible for her to put a one-of-a-kind alien in the hooves of an obviously psychotic mare.

I'm gonna try finishing this up, but I have a feeling I know what Oron61 may be talking about. . .

Not really wanting to go to bed still smelling like a hospital, I grabbed a bottle of shampoo and body wash.

My Murphy Senses are tingling...

Eh, that currently was something.

I was enjoying this, till the sudden and abrupt violent introduction of Spitfire and everything else that followed.

Evertone's lack of giving a shit and even making jokes was pretty much the final blow. If spitfire had apologied right after, then it could have chopped up as 'tthat's just how she is.' But she didn't, in fact she seems to have no remorse over sending this guy to the hospital.

Plus, Mark taking no action to leave an obvious bad situation, is just frustrating.