Chapter 1
It wasn’t every day Cheerilee was weirded out. Despite popular opinion her class was very well behaved, even after the whole fiasco where Diamond Tiara had adopted Scootaloo. She had let it slide, after Diamond slid her a hundred bits of course, but this? Not only was she weirded out, but one could add on freaked, shocked, and disgusted as well. Why, you ask was she reacting this way? The answer was quite simple, really.
Because Diamond Tiara had just brought in a chocolate coated filly with an axe in her head!
“I like books!” the filly, aptly named Chocolate Icing, said as she poked her set of good pens.
“Choco, remember your manners,” Diamond Tiara reprimanded gently, booping her daughter on the nose. Her daughter who had an axe in her head!
“Sorry, Mama!” said the filly WITH AN AXE IN HER HEAD!
No! Cheerilee wasn’t letting this go! This filly, that Diamond claimed she found in a trash bin and adopted, had an axe in her head! How?! Why?! Who would do such a heinous act to a innocent little filly?!
This was not normal. Not even by Ponyville standards was this normal! The parasprite invasion wasn’t as bizarre as this! The thorny tentacle beast wasn’t as bizarre as this! Heck, not even Discord-
Okay, maybe Discord was slightly more bizarre, Cheerilee quickly took back, but that mattered little, really. The fact of the matter is, it’s not normal for a filly to have an axe in her head.
“Ahem,” Cheerilee coughed, getting both fillies attentions. “I see you decided to…” Cheerilee trailed off, not sure how to finish her sentence, well, more unwilling, really. Why was the government okay with Diamond Tiara adopting other foals in the same age group? Has everypony gone insane?!
“Yes, me and Apple Bloom-”
“Apple Bloom and I” Cheerilee corrected, much to Diamond’s annoyance.
“...Apple Bloom and I” Diamond fixed, rolling her eyes as she did so, “adopted another bundle of joy!” Diamond Tiara said, staring lovingly at Chocolate Icing. “The poor dear needed a good home, and what household is better than the Rich household?”
I don’t know, how about ANYPONY ELSES?! Cheerilee thought sarcastically, but decided not to voice her opinion. “That’s… Very kind of you, Diamond Tiara,” she decided to say instead.
“What can I say? I’m a giver.”
Bullshit. You’re probably just doing this to be the talk of the town, Cheerilee thought with disdain. “And what a giver you are!” Cheerilee said with false pride. How she wanted to strangle this little filly. “By the way, Diamond Tiara, why does she have an axe in her head?”
“Oh, that,” Diamond mumbled as she looked at Chocolate’s axe. “I found her in the dumpster that way. We took her to the hospital… Eventually, and apparently it fused with her skull,” Diamond Tiara explained, staring intently at the axe as she gently flicked it.
“It… Fused with her skull?” Cheerilee said with great disgust. That doesn’t sound healthy. At all.
“I was going to see if Princess Twilight could remove it, but her slave dragon, Spit, I think, said she would be away for awhile,” Diamond said with a shrug. “So we’ll just have to accomodate her as best as we can!” Diamond said as she swung her hoof enthusiastically.
“I like books!” Chocolate Icing said as she poked Cheerilee’s desk lamp.
“Manners, Chocolate. Manners,” Diamond said as she pulled Chocolate’s hoof away.
“Sorry, Mama.”
“It’s not me who you should say sorry too,” Diamond said as she pointed at a slightly annoyed Cheerilee.
“...Sorry, book,” Chocolate Icing said to the desk lamp, stroking it just to show how sorry she truly felt.
“...I suppose this is to be expected, given she has an axe in her head,” Cheerilee mumbled, thinking to herself how she was going to teach this young mare.
“Well, at least Scootaloo can now say she’s the smart one,” Diamond Tiara said optimistically. “Anyways, I’m here because I was hoping there were… Special classes I could sign Chocolate Icing up for.”
“Nope,” Cheerilee replied, earning a frown from Diamond Tiara. “Trust me, I’m just as upset as you are, but the principal insists everypony in the same age group goes to school together, regardless of special needs,” Cheerilee grumbled. “What I can do is keep Chocolate after school for an hour or two, give her some one on one time, but that’s about it.”
“Great,” Diamond Tiara grumbled, clearly not happy with the compromise. “Isn’t there a way we could convince Principal Prune Butt that he’s stupid and should quit his job?”
“As much as I would love that? No, so this is our best option for now.”
“... What if we put a scorpion in his food?” Diamond asked, earning a glare from Cheerilee.
“Diamond Tiara, we are not going to kill my boss,” Cheerilee scolded, much to Diamond Tiara’s disdain.
“... What if we mildly poison him?” she offered.
“As funny as that would be, no.”
“... Punch him in the-”
“Diamond, don’t finish that sentence!”
“Ugh, fine!” Diamond said with a pout.
“Is Mama sad?” Chocolate Icing asked barely above a whisper. Diamond Tiara turned to her daughter and began brushing her mane.
“No, honey. I’m just… Excited!” Diamond Tiara said with false optimism. “Now, how about we go home and eat dinner?” Diamond Tiara asked, earning a gasp from Chocolate Icing.
“I like food!” Chocolate said with a giggle.
“So do I, squirt. So do I,” Diamond said affectionately as she got out of her chair and led Chocolate home, leaving a stunned Cheerilee.
“Huh, that actually seemed… Genuine,” Cheerilee muttered after the two left the classroom. “Maybe I was wrong? Maybe Diamond really is a good mother?” Cheerilee asked out loud, and not a moment later smacked herself for saying so.
“What am I saying?! Ugh, this town is making me insane,” Cheerilee grumbled, not looking forward to the next day. Still, the way Diamond treated Chocolate Icing was awfully motherly. Cheerilee only hoped that not only was it genuine, but also that it would last.
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DT is best mom!
Wait, the filly has an axe in her head?
I like trains!
It's 1:30 in the morning, I don't even know anymore...
GAH!!! Stop giving me a case of the adoracutes!
I like this!
I'm waiting for the axe to get stuck on something, or for her to see a unicorn and think she has magic.
5640586
What if she actually uses magic?
5640650
Little Chocolate's best day ever.
5640778
Yeah. She'll become an axicorn.
I cannot even.
Who the hell went through and downvoted every comment except Seether00's? It's like someone was trying to incriminate 'em, or something.
Also, I hope to see more of our most adorable axe-headed filly.
There. I downvoted Seether's so no one can try to blame it on him. We'll find you, serial downvoter! We'll tie you to a radiator and grape you in the mouth!
5641186 Can you odd?
5641952
It'd be hilarious if it turned out to be you, Bootsy, though honestly I can't see you doing that.
5642972
That's...disturbing. Grapes are nasty
It's amazing how a filly with such a fucked up universe ends up fitting so well in this universe. Fan-freaking tastic. I can't wait to see more Chocolate and Scootaloo! xD
5640586 Well, a horn is used as an amplifier and way to focus the inner magic of a pony. With chocolate being struck right between the eyes, the frontal lobe being split just perfectly between the break so much that no real bodily functions are harmed, she might be able to channel some sort of Earth Pony magic to tap into her innate life giving magics that can now freely flow throughout her body thanks to the axe, which gives her a sort of super regenerative quality and potentially use some unexplored earth pony magics?
Possibly the one filly that wouldn't explode being around alicorns that isn't Diamond Tiara. Course, Celestia help herself if she comes within 100 yards of Diamond's family! XD
You have no idea how happy I am to see you write something like this again. Thanks for the d'awws and smiles Matt. It helped a lot xD
good so far,
I guess she had an... axeident.
5642972
Downvoter:... and thats when... they graped me!
Officer: Don't you mean raped?
Downvoter: No! There was a bunch of 'em!
OM
another mother-verse fic 
I can't wait to read it!
I know Dia adopting Scoots wasn't exactly normal to begin with but we are really pushing the suspension of disbelief to the limit. Things took a turn for the truly bizarre when Diamond enslaved a vengeful Japonese demon as a pet and then Diamond adopted her own older sister Cadanece.
But THIS is REAAAAALLY cranking up the weirdness level to HOLY MOTHER OF F
that's some crazy b(BUY SOME APPLES)
)!
and where the hay is Silver Spoon? I want to see more of her kinky kitty pet-play with Sweetie Belle.
well thats harsh.. but fair.
OML Choclate Icing Rich is just the cutest little filly OC sense Nyx!
well that explains Snips and Snails LOL
Will this ever be continued?
9098827
Sadly, unlike Fifteen Years, I don't really care for completing this one. Zero ideas for it.
9100975
That's unfortunate
9100975
Why not mark it as "cancelled", then? (Which reminds me, I need to do the same with one of mine)
I laughed way harder at this than I should have.