Just Do It
You turn to me and smile. Man, Sparky, I could live off that smile alone. I didn't hear what you said but I nod, grinning ear to ear.
Everything you do is so damn cute. From the way you twirl your hair when the girls tease you about your crush on Flash, to the giggle snort I get out of you when I do my crappy impression of Celestia. You are just so goddamn cute.
We lock eyes for a moment and I swear to Celestia it feels like every bone in my body is humming with excitement. Unfortunately, Pinkie draws your attention back to the group conversation and our short lived moment is over.
"So, you guys got anything special planned for Valentine's day? Maybe with a special someone?" She asks, nudging me.
I roll my eyes. While they all tease you about your crush on Flash, they tease me about my crush on you. In front of you. Indirectly, at least. And while it's nice to have friends who friendly remind me of my romantic feelings, they were getting dangerously close to revealing them without me even having to say anything. And I want to be the one to let you know just how much I care about you because I don't think they could ever word it right.
You shuffle uncomfortably, and look down at the ground. Something I notice that you do when you want to say something, but can't really find a clean and intelligent way to do it. I can't read your mind, but I know something is bothering you. You almost seem...nervous. Uncomfortable.
It goes undetected by everyone but me, because the conversation continues.
Dash makes a gagging sound. "Yeah, no thanks! Today I want to stay away from the mushy gushy stuff as much as possible!"
Applejack rolls her eyes. "So I guess it's just you and your hand tonight?" She says, wiggling her eyebrows.
Pinkie snorts so hard milk starts coming out of her nose, and you can't help but laugh. God, even your laugh is adorable.
"Pinkie!" Rarity whines, wiping off her shirt. "Honestly!"
Pinkie snorts again. "I'm, I'm sorry, but that, that was so funny!" She falls over out of her seat onto the floor, her laughter becoming even louder.
Applejack turns to you. "So, Twilight. Do you have anything planned?"
And my heart stops. Because I know that your crush on Flash is serious, and that I'll probably never have a chance with you. I start stabbing at my salad in disappointment until I hear your response.
"Uh, no, actually."
My head snaps up. My heart starts racing again and I feel numb all over. I know this is such a false hope because I know you'll say right after that that you're gonna ask Flash to be your valentine immediately after lunch.
But you don't. Instead, you say: "I was actually thinking of not bothering with Valentine's day. It's not like anyone wants to ask me anyway."
My eyes bulge. Are you kidding me?! I would ask you in a split second if I could! Oh Twilight if only you knew the person who loves you most is sitting right across from you! You look crestfallen, and I just want to cheer you up in any way possible.
I reach over the table and take your hand in mine. You look up and give me a small smile, one that is a front for the sadness behind it. I smile back, hoping my genuine one would authenticate your own.
It doesn't.
The bell rings and we all stand up. You throw your tray away and shuffle behind the girls as I stand frozen in place. I can't let you go on feeling this way...it's not fair to you. You need to know. I roll my shoulders. Time for me to be a big girl. I stomp up to you and tap you on the shoulder.
You turn around to face me with the saddest look I've ever seen. And it breaks my heart. I take a deep breath. "Twilight...there's something I-"
"Ya'll better hurry up! Mrs. Cheerilee is gonna lock ya'll out if yer late!" Applejack calls from somewhere down the hallway.
I know how much you hate being tardy so I stop myself. I frown, but compose myself. "Nevermind, it's nothing. Let's just head to class." I turn around and start walking to class. I don't hear your footsteps behind me so I assume you're just standing there confused.
I don't blame you. I'm not the best at explaining my feelings. Especially since I'm still so new to the whole friendship thing. I fight the urge to let out a dry laugh.
Friendship. Celestia knows that's the last thing I want from you. I want something more, something that would stop the aching in my chest every time you blush when someone says Flash's name or the pang of hurt when I see you look so sad and lonely and all I want to do is make you feel better. But I can’t. I can’t because I’m a scared wimp who would rather watch you go through pain than risk rejection.
I hear you running to catch up with me. I slow down, so that you can walk with me. You haven’t said a word to me all day. It’s weird. Even when you don’t talk much, you say a lot. I love that about you. You’re so expressive without even opening your mouth.
You give me a worried look. And again, I don’t blame you. I got cut off and didn’t finish what I was going to say. Thing is, do I really wanna say what I want to say? Do I really want to put my heart on my sleeve and tell you how much I love you, how much I want you to be my girlfriend? I stare into your violet eyes for a moment and shake my head. No, I don’t. Because if I do, I know the answer I’ll get will hurt worse than if I hadn’t said anything at all.
“Sunset?”
I look up into your eyes again. God, the stern look you have on your face is so adorable. You try to look so assertive and authoritative because you’re a princess and all that but you look like a child trying on her mother’s dresses. “Yes?” I answer.
“What were you going to tell me?” You stare at me curiously.
My face pales. All I can hear is the hum of the fluorescent lights above our heads. Somewhere in the distance a locker slams shut. We’re alone, I realize this, making a chill run up my spine. It was now or never. I ball my fists. I choose never. Because I don’t want to get hurt. I don’t want our friendship to become weird or for us to drift apart. The last thing I want to do is lose you, Sparky. If I ever lost you...I don’t know what I would do.
But I see the curiosity in your eyes. And I know if I don’t say anything, you’ll think I’m hiding something from you and feel like you aren’t much of a friend because I don’t tell you anything. And then I’d have to watch you be hurt. But it would be a hundred times worse for me because then I would know I was the cause of it. I open my mouth, and shut it like a fish.
“You were awfully quiet at the table too...speaking of which, do you....have anyone you’re doing something with for Valentine’s day?” Your eyes down cast again. I feel my heart skip because I know you’re nervous. It probably took everything you had to ask me that. And I might sound selfish for saying this but it made me feel like I’m special to you. Like you do see me differently than the others. You don’t see me as Sunset Shimmer, Canterlot High’s former resident bad girl, you see me as Sunset Shimmer, your best friend, or, possibly something more.
I shake my head. “Nah...It’s been a while since I uh, did anything for Valentine’s day,” You nod. I can see the gears turning in your head. What are you planning?
“Why not? You must have boys begging you to go out with them.” You say, looking away from me.
I stare at you in wonder. Honestly! Why on earth would you think that?! Even if I did have boys lining up for me, I wouldn’t give two shits about them because the only person I’m interested in is you! “W-Why not?!” I stutter. Smooth. All I managed to do was repeat what you said in a strangled voice.
“Yeah...because you’re pretty, and funny, and you’ve got the whole bad girl thing going on. You must have guys on a waiting list or something.” You look even sadder.
I bite my lip, contemplating my options. I don’t want to lie to you. I don’t want to make myself seem unattainable to you more than I do now. I want to nip this in the bud and squash whatever ideas you have about me being taken or wanted by someone else. But I also don’t want to intimidate you. You are worth more than anything any boy could give me and I want to let you know that. “I don’t,” I say simply after a beat of silence. You look up at me in confusion. “I don’t know what gave you that idea but I don’t have guys lining up for me or waiting at my door. Especially not after the whole she-demon thing,” I fold my arms. “No guy has even said a word to me since me and Flash broke up.”
You relax. I can see you physically unwind, and you give me a small smile. “Good. That’s great.”
Why is that great? Are you trying to tell me something? And if so, what? I realize we’ve been standing here for ten minutes now, and that Ms. Cheerilee must’ve locked the door already. “C’mon, let’s go talk about this in private,” I tug you along by your hand in the direction of the library while trying not to let my blush develop.
We quietly head up to the second floor of the library, trying not to draw attention to ourselves or get caught. I drag you all the way to the back where no one can hear us or see us. “I’m impressed Sparky, you’re skipping class,” I tease.
You roll your eyes. “Not like I had much of a choice.” You sit down on a stack of old books cross legged.
I sit down too. You stare at me, and I stare back. We sit there for a while, just looking into each others eyes, neither of us speaking at all. It’s actually kind of nice. We haven’t had a moment to ourselves like this since the one in Pinkie’s kitchen. I actually believe that was the moment I fell for you. You understood me more than anyone else. Even more than the girls. You were the one who gave me a second chance and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to repay you for that.
You sigh. “Sunset, I- Um...” You pause. My heart starts pounding so hard I can feel it in my head. Could this be it? Could you be confessing your feelings to me? I know it’s such a stretch but all I want is for you to tell me that you love me just as much as I love you! You start to twirl a strand of purple hair around your finger and your lavender cheeks glow with a slight blush. “I have to tell you something.” You finish in a small voice.
My throat goes dry and I try to swallow. I can’t think of a coherent response so I just nod. My stomach is doing somersaults and I can't seem to stop staring at your collarbone as you push your hair over your shoulder. My hands start clamming up and I rub them on the harsh carpet beneath us to get rid of some of the sweat. I can feel you staring at me, so I try my best not to look as nervous as I am.
“I...” You try again. But you can’t seem to get the words out. God, do I know how that feels. Having the words all thought up, written out in your mind, all planned out, and then when it’s time to say it, choke on the very thing you want to say out loud. You play with the necktie on your shirt, revealing more of your neck to me.
I swallow.
Hard.
“I...I...” You look worried, as if once I register that you can’t say it, I’ll get upset and yell at you to spit it out. No, the old me would have done that, but the new me would never do such a thing. Take your time, Twilight. I’ve got all the time in the world when it comes to you and I’m not going to just abandon you. Not when what you want to say seems so important.
“I want you to be my valentine!” You blurt, then cover your mouth when you realize just how loud you were. You stare at me wide eyed, your face full of surprise, fear, and excitement all in one go.
My expression mirrors yours, and at this point I think my heart might beat right out of my chest. Me! You want me to be your valentine! I would get up and dance if I wasn’t internally screaming. Say something you idiot!
“I...I’m...oh my god..” Is all I can manage. And then I see your face fall. I quickly recover. “No, no, it isn’t what you think,” I explain. Your expression perks up. “I’m shocked, Twi. I’m so very shocked and I honestly don’t know what to say. Because...” I pause. You look at me expectantly. This is it. This was the moment. This is the moment that would make or break me, you, and our entire relationship. This was the true now or never.
“Because you thought I was going to ask Flash?” You finish for me, and I kind of deflate. I pumped myself up for nothing. I was so close. You let out a long sigh. “I was, but then I got to thinking.” You shift closer to me and my heart feels like it’s running the Kentucky Derby. I look into your eyes, and I notice there’s something different about them. They look happy. Almost, mischievous.
“I’m closer to you than him, I spend more time with you, and most importantly...” You hesitate before pulling at my shirt, our faces now mere inches apart. Holy sweet Celestia! I can’t tell if I’m in heaven or hell because of this heat! “I like you more.”
And then your lips meet mines, and I let out a girlish squeak. You giggle, but continue to kiss me. Alright Sparky, points for having the guts enough to make a move on me. But now it’s my turn to confess something. I pull away, wiping off the saliva on my now swollen lips, heart beating like a jackhammer. “Wait, wait, before we do anything else, I have to tell you something,” I take both your hands in mine and you give me a confused look.
I take a deep breath and close my eyes for a moment before reopening them. I look at you. I look at your beautiful, dorky, amazing face and I let it all out. “Twilight Sparkle, I have been in love with you since that sleepover at Pinkie’s. I’ve been dying to tell you, but I’ve chickened out so many times and I would have told you sooner but you had a crush on Flash and I didn’t want to-” You shut me up by pressing our lips together again.
You pull away, smiling. “I know.”
“You know?!” I blurt, though it comes out as some what of a harsh whisper. You knew! You knew this entire time and you chose to let me sit here and have an angsty inner battle with myself over whether I should tell you or not! You are such a troll! I should be angry with you, but I can’t! You just kissed me and I feel like I’m on top of the world!
It seems like you can tell what I’m thinking, because you smirk. “I was waiting for you to tell me yourself. I wasn’t going to force it out of you.” You pull me closer by the nape of my neck. “Sunset, I don’t just want you to be my valentine, I want you to be my girlfriend. I was as nervous in asking as you were in confessing to me.”
I’m speechless. Utterly, completely, and inexplicably speechless. “I....Of course I’ll be your girlfriend, Sparky.” I say, matching your smirk. You kiss me again and I hum happily. “Just, one thing.”
You arch a brow. “Oh? What's that?”
“You have to say the three magic words or else I won’t let you kiss me again,” I fold my arms smugly. I expect you to whine, to say that what I want is “unfair” or “immature”. But you don’t. Instead, you pounce on me, effectively pinning me to the floor. For a nerd with no upper or lower body strength you have one hell of a grip. I try to wriggle free but fail.
You straddle me before I hear the three words that makes me see stars. “I love you.” And with that, we melted into each other, not caring what the future had in store for us.
Wanted to write something for Valentine's day. Thought I'd put it up today since I'm busy this Saturday. The title of this story comes from the name of a Victorious song. (Yes, I used to watch that show.) Also Fun Fact: What Applejack said in the beginning is a lyric from a P!nk song called U+Ur Hand. Literally. Hope you guys liked this, it was my first time writing from a perspective like this. It was kind of inspired by a AppleDash fic called "Just Quit Yer Fussin' and Snuggle Up, Sugarcube!". Great story. Anyway, Happy (early) Valentine's day! 
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YAY, thx.........
I'm sorry but
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FIRST!
Ah love. so romantic nice job on the story It was really touching.
My reaction: images.khinsider.com/The%20World%20Ends%20With%20You/Artwork/Mugshots/Kariya07.png
awesome fic you got there, i loved it!!!
aww, that was sweet!
Awwww, so romantic and cute.
Really good story! I literally sat here reading ten times over just to memorize it! Thx for the good story. Can't wait for the next one! :)
Dude...
TWILIGHT Snogged Sunset...
Damn, she got dem moves like Jagger, huh?
That was adorable. Insta-fave.
Favorited before reading; not disappointed.
SunLight is best Light.
Edit: The first and second-person narration isn't really my favorite style. I guess it works for this story.
I'm not sure how to rephrase this, but it's definitely wrong.
You used "mines" a couple of times, and there are many more small errors throughout. Definitely have someone edit this.
A little quick, but cute.
5615763 How is that a reaction....
5617326
Perhaps 'friendlily'.
oh shit is it singles awareness day already???
5617369 Though I am sure "friendlily" could be used, I cannot see myself ever using it in a serious (e.g. non-comedy) setting. It's quite an obscure word. Hence, the quandary.
5617402
I have used it before, although very rarely. I generally pronounce it without the first 'l'.
5617374 yup
TheNewYorkBrony-churning out the best SunLight since 2013
Subtlety, it isn't always an option.
This was so adorable.
5617595 why thank you, friend.
Fair warning, I am not the biggest on traditional romance focused stories and I was a bit tired when I wrote this so it might feel slightly disjointed.
Nope, can't read it. Male sounding Sunset when you combine "man" with a pet name on either side.
Weird pet name that doesn't fit Sunset calling Twilight. (That's a personal gripe and not that it's necessarily bad, I'm not qualified to determine that but figured you might appreciate the feedback.)
Cliche' from a long time ago, so long people might not recognize it. Also, very centered on Sunset. As in the sentence is about Sunset, when it should be a sentence Sunset thinks about Twilight. This makes it less romantic and more ego/self interest driven than caring about the other person, thus it makes it harder to connect to the feelings given because we don't care about the target of desire. Now, to be fair, this matter less in fanfiction where we already know the other characters. But by forging a better emotional investment in the love interest it would still improve the romance.
These seem to be reoccurring themes in this story, at least the bits I look over. It's about Sunset and her needs and wants, not Sunset thinking about Twilight and Twilight's needs, wants, or self. It doesn't carry any emotional weight for me as a story. It caries some weight in that this is how one might express how much they need/want someone else to their face. This is common in romance but works when it feels like it's addressed to the audience directly as much as the love interest. The idea is to put the audience in the place of the main character and to have the audience fall in love with the love interest first, then have them address the audience making it personal. Jumping straight it looses most of that impact, at least to me.
1) Breaks the reader out of the story with a sudden shift that isn't lead into. I am also unsure about the comma placement as you aren't addressing/naming Pinkie in speech and it's not necessary for the sentence otherwise.
2) As the last person mentioned is Pinkie drawing attention, this could easily be misinterpreted as Pinkie talking in the next line. It actually looks like an error where you meant to have Pinkie talk and made it it's own paragraph as it is not naming Twilight as the speaker throws it off.
In fact if this wasn't a fanfiction where we already know the pairing it's worse. Making the next sentence sound like her crush is on Pinkie.
This kind of paints the other main 6 as out of character. They'd be helping, or disproving (not that it has to be disapproving but it could be spun that way for story purposes.) As it is it seems like they are encouraging actions or feelings in equal measure for Sunset to Twilight, and then Twilight to Flash, which would mean they want one of their friends to not get what they want. Sure, Twilight might end with Sunset, but there would still be tension from her being encouraged to think of Flash making leaving feelings for him behind harder and possibly causing resentment. Not something I see the other girls doing,
Up until this point you have used very standard romance dialogue, then it starts sounding more like it's from an intellectuals perspective (more like Sunset but oddly as much like Twilight). This makes the voice feel off slightly. It's not the hugest issue but it's splitting the story which is already suffering as I'll mention later. It might work to have her call out that she normally doesn't think this way but that she can't help it, her feelings are speaking louder than her mind. (Or something like that).
I couldn't actually go on but I think there is one reason why that is. Well, there are 2 problems but 1 is the reason I couldn't continue.
The minor issue is that it's not Sunset. I can't say if it is or isn't a self insert but it does not feel like Sunset.
The major issue is the voice (Which is entirely subject to personal preference and as a lot of people seem to like this story take all my comments here with a grain of salt, you clearly have an audience that loves your work, don't let me take that away from you.)
This is technically a 1st person story but is told from the perspective of a first person narrative that is talking to someone else in the second person. In a lot of romances this can work but it tends to work best when used more in the middle of the story, during the climax where there are a lot of emotions being shared and you want to show that the love interests don't need dialogue. In effect you end up saying they have grown so close together that they don't even need to talk to understand each other. This usually happens after building up the relationship, when they would have enough experience with each other to not need to talk. They don't have that yet in this story.
While it's not my favorite writing style it uses a lot of build up to make the reader feel a lot of strong emotions, for fanfiction a lot of your readers will see the pairing and already invest emotion. That's why this story does work as is, but by adding that emotion into your reader as well you strengthen it in the writers who already feel it AND you instil it in a reader like me who wants to be convinced of the emotions. To me, who doesn't have that emotional investment before sitting down to read, it seems to take the position that the audience should innately know that there was already this buildup. Thus you start off by explicitly sating "I like you, I like you, I like you," for the purpose of creating the framework of a story plot.
To me it comes off as half done. Like you don't want to tell a whole romance, you just want to jump to the good part where they get together because they should be together.
It also ends up being all tell with no show early, though glancing later you seem to have a lot more show and/or depth to the telling.
Overall the promise this story makes to me in the first few paragraphs is a cliche' out of character romance because you feel the characters should be together. Looking on and skipping a few paragraphs it's clear the story gets better but it's already lost me. I would suggest working on the beginning, maybe try a few different things. I would also suggest jumping in with some action. Not ACTION! but something like
Not that exact thing necessarily, but something like that that transitions into what you have would give the beginning of the story a lot more staying power in my opinion.
To be fair to you a lot of stories start off with tell, in fact it's usually where you can get away with it the easiest as long as it isn't an info dump. But if we are suppose to transplant ourselves into the shoes of the main characters perspective from the beginning, show can forge that connection a lot easier than tell because we have felt similar things to what the character is feeling.
Good luck in the future, and remember to take the notes with a grain of salt.
5617703 thanks for the constructive criticism. Ive never written from this perspective before so it was really hard for me. At least now I know what i did wrong and how how i can improve.
do you mind if i use your sentence in the beginning?
5617731
Go ahead, just promise me that you will also try something like it on your own as well. Also, you'd probably have to do some minor rework of what would then follow the first sentence. It was kind of meant to replace the "Sparky. Man, Sparky." bit.
Also, *Thanks* *I've* *I* *I*
5617743 I promise. And ah, thanks. Again.
5617761
5617361 means I love it plus I do twewy sprites just fun
You really love this pairing don't you? Anyway, good work. Was paced well with good writing.
GAARGH! The adorableness! It kills me!
Sunlight forever!
Tops. Aces, even.
I wasnt sure about how the voice fit the character at first, but it all comes together in the end.
5617326
Friendlily. No seriously. http://english.stackexchange.com/questions/107003/are-the-words-sillily-uglily-friendlily-livelily-etc-valid-english
However, since that is a horrible word (as well as repeating the "friend" twice in quick succession) I'd recommend "nicely" or "kindly".
Anyway, awesome/adorable/cute story like always.
Damn, I don't know how you manage to produce all these EG shipfics.
'Cause they are all sooo gewd !
Aww so cute!
And her we see the sign of domnitrix Twilight.
stop getting so many highlights (featured on the front page) on this website
5618988 It's not my fault!
I guess people like my stories a lot?? Im actually kind of curious why this keeps happening so fast...
*cue explosions*
which Twi did she fall for?, i thought it was human Twi but you said Pinkie's sleep over which Pony Twi was the one who did that?
5619186 because this was inspired by a Victorious song. Don't feel bad, we're in the samw boat.
5619226 pony Twi.
5619391 ok i thought it was her but they where acting like Twi lived there and they new her for months X3
5617482 Oh well. Some of us enjoy this holiday. It's perfect for loners. We get free candy, and all we have to do is smile at someone.
5618343
So are hands, apparently.
Very nicely done, i approve of Twi and Sunset shipping.
did somebody order some... Ｓｍｕｇ？
puu.sh/fRjI9/6e2e64f644.jpg
5617703
This review embodies pretty much all my views. Personally, I felt that this story was like a fantasy, with everything being fairly cliche and wish-fulfilled. I couldn't get invested in this story because of it, and the odd perspective of the narration only made it worse. It could have been something, but in it's current form, I can't say I liked this story.
Somehow I feel it would have worked better if their roles had been reversed. Or if we saw it from Twilight's perspective.
Great fic anyways.
See, this is the only reason I even wake up on valentines day. Cool stories like these.
And there goes my heart.
This is so bucking adorable!!!!!!!!!! 
(Then again when aren't your Sunlight stories adorable?)
This is SO ADORABLE