Classic Love

by ArguingPizza

Epilogue

The Verdant Plains were a lie, of that Twilight was certain. Or, at the very least, their majesty and grandeur had been vastly exaggerated.

Serving as the first, last, and only piece of evidence to support her theory was Princess Celestia, who was splayed across a motorcycle before her. Celestia was clad in a black sequined faux-leather jacket, matched by studded faux-leather leggings. There was a black headband just below her horn that did nothing to restrain the wild, serpentine dance of the Princess’s feathered hair. Black mascara had been repurposed into lines across her cheeks that stood in stark contrast to her pristine white fur. Her ears were adorned with clip-on piercings in the style of Twilight's cutie mark, which went so far as to include the six surrounding white starbursts. An intentionally short tail wrap that just failed in its purpose of holding Celestia’s tail upright teased Twilight’s hungry eyes, which were further taunted by the wide, immodest pose the Princess held.

Surely there could have been no better place in all the universe.

From a pair of large speakers cleverly hidden among Celestia’s bookshelves, a deep, metallic guitar riffed to life. Celestia started and revved the motorcycle in time with the beat, and Twilight’s heart pulsed with it.

Celestia smoothly dismounted the motorcycle and began to sway with the song’s rhythm. Twilight swallowed both out of nervousness as well as the desire to avoid drooling. In the latter, she was only partially successful, and Celestia giggled at the reaction she was eliciting.

”Friday night and I need a flight,
My motorcycle and a blinding light.”

Celestia’s wings extended forward to lightly graze Twilight’s chin, which was rewarded with a shiver that rocked the smaller mare to her hooves. Her horn ignited to rain down a shower of golden sparks over the younger mare that danced and tickled their way across her fur.

”Hoof full of grease and my hair feels right,
But what I need to make me light
Are those…”

Celestia leapt backwards, and Twilight could not help but lean forward in instinctual pursuit as Celestia’s tail tickled her nose.

“Mares, mares, mares.
Long legs and mulberry hips.
Mares, mares, mares,
Goin’ down on the Twilight strip.”

Celestia winked, and Twilight nearly fainted. She clamped her tail down tightly in a reflexive attempt to disguise her arousal. Some ponies might have thought Twilight innocent –and it was not an entirely untrue assumption. Regardless, not even she could have missed the implication of Celestia’s altered lyrics, nor the sensuous lick of her lips while she sang.

“Mares, mares, mares,
White lips, feathertips.

Look so sweet,
Ready to eat.
A Nightmare Night
Veritable feast.”

Once again Celestia stalked towards Twilight, but her teasing manner was gone. In its place was a hunger, a predatory gleam that set Twilight on edge with an eager tension.

”Princess mares,
You just can’t be beat.”

Faster than Twilight could blink, she had been pushed backwards onto a pillow she hadn’t known was there. Celestia stood over her with a wide, sultry grin and slowly lowered herself to claim her prize.

”But you’re best when you’re
Beneath me.”

The song continued to play in the background, but its prescience had given way to far more important matters. Twilight struggled for breath in short, ragged gasps. Celestia’s lips drew closer to her own, closer…

The doors to Celestia’s chamber slammed open with such force to render the hinges unrecognizable scrap. They rebounded off the stone walls and collapsed to the floor as splintered wrecks. Presiding over the destruction was Princess Luna, her eyes alight with power and wrath.

“Would thee turn thine wretched racket down so that We may sleep?” Without waiting for permission, Luna's magic surrounded her sister's expensive stero system. In an instant, it was crushed into a tiny, hyper-dense sphere of molten plastic and copper and thrown through the skylight. Jagged shards of glass rained down, none of which reached the floor before being incinerated.

Celestia and Twilight looked up with wide eyes from their cushion, and the three Princesses stared at one another while Luna slowly released her vengeful fury.

“I am… I am sorry that we have disturbed you, sister,” Celestia said cautiously, and when she did not move to disentangle herself from Twilight, Luna’s indignation flared to life once more.

“Disturbed Us? It hast been weeks since We last achieved a proper day’s rest. Thine musical escapades have been heard in Cloudsdale. We should not knowest Our sister’s audio-sexual preferences!”

Twilight’s mortified blush was matched only by Celestia’s, who was struck with sudden realization as to the why the castle staff had been unable to look her in the eye as of late. Not to mention that it certainly explained the recent rise in popularity of earmuffs, which she had thought merely a strange new fashion trend.

"Its my fault, Princess Luna," Twilight offered from beneath Celestia. Her eyes were locked on the matted fur of Celestia's chest, and she twiddled her hooves quickly. "T-the music helps me... be intimate. Its a framework I can work around, and it helps to keep me calm during... that."

Eyes narrowed, Luna looked between Twilight and her sister. Celestia shrugged as well as she could given her position as Twilight's blanket.

Luna huffed and whirled about. "Thou requires counseling, Twilight Sparkle." On her way out the door, or lack thereof, Luna looked over her shoulder and scowled. "And keep the noise down!"

A moment after she departed, a wisp of midnight blue magic danced through the air towards the idling motorcycle. Shimmering starlight lifted the minotaurian vehicle off the floor and tossed it through Celestia's balcony doors. The sound of shattering glass was followed by a loud crash as the motorcycle was smashed to pieces on the palace stonework ten stories below.

The long, awkward silence dragged on in Celestia’s bedroom far longer than it should have. Only when the guards stationed at Celestia’s doors –or rather doorway, in light of Luna’s tantrum– leaned their heads in did the two scramble to separate. Twilight coughed into her hoof and pointedly avoided looking at any of the castle attendants peeking their heads in.

“So...” Twilight began, “Know any good silencing spells?”

Comments

[Ice Star]

You're alive!

[Exaxxion]

I love this

[TheLastBrunnenG]

I remember this from the prompts, and seeing it compiled & expanded is fantastic. Nicely done!

When Fluttershy tried to reach out to her with gentle understanding, Twilight cast a silencing spell over the door.

“So...” Twilight began, “Know any good silencing spells?”

I assume the line that ended the Epilogue was rhetorical?

[Voidwalker]

What to say, what to say, hmmm. First off: The story was well-written and quite enjoyable. Twilight was very Twilight - most of the time. More on that later. Rarity and Pinkie were great in their own regards and their portrayal felt authentic. So did Lunas. Rarity's and Pinkies plan to get Tia to come was a nice detail, even roping Luna into it. I wonder what she got out of that deal...
It was a nice touch that you didn't just 'forget' about Spike, Ponyville, her castle, her other friends - you know... things that get shoved to the sidelines quite often with romance stories. Which usually makes these pieces feel like some fairytale adventure seen in a snow globe, isolated and somewhat out of sync. But these stories happen in a city - with ponies. In someponies life - who got friends. Remembering these details and actually involving them makes the story feel more alive and believable.

Now, let's get to the nitpicky stuff. I won't touch the music, like... at all. It was used well enough, It's just not my cup of tea. As a setting/prompt/whatever, it was fine.
First problem: Twilights sudden burst of confidence. She got frustrated, yeah, sure. She aimed to help herself, find a way to confess without saying it. I can get behind the idea that it was an act out of desperation. But... disco dancing. In front of a whole club. That's gotta be a mighty desperation right there.
Second problem: The resolution of the conflict felt somewhat rushed. While I can squint away my first gripe, I cannot do that with this one. Spike, RD, AJ and Fluttershy all came to cheer up Twilight. Or to get her to say something coherent, at least. They all utterly failed. She bawled her eyes out, two days straight. I want to stress that point. She - Twilight! - had two days to to think things over and get herself into a tizzy. We know from the show what she can do with just some hours.
Two. Days.
Then, Luna shows up, takes her to Canterlot castle, rockshow, confession, bam - love.
Uh... no?
I get that Twi might've given up at that point, accepting her fate or whatever. That she followed Luna until the idea of escape attempts even crossed her mind. (Hey - closing doors stop you, Twi? Really? The multiple-times-teleporting-element-of-magic-powermare?) I can even accept that she watched the whole show in utter loss of words, in awe, in horror (dark magic, the only viable option!).
But I don't get that, at the end of that show, everything just went to be 'fine' within mere seconds. Everyone's just congratulating. No emotional turmoil, no freakout thanks to two days of built up for her fears, just 'oh, well, now it's all great again'. That... pulled me right out.
On a side note: I get that Rarity tries to shove her towards something she knows will be good for Twilight, but glaring her down like she beat Tia's favourite puppy to death? Way to go, Rares - I'm sure Twilights nerves can take another hit. Not like they've been under rapidfire for two whole days or something like that. Come to think of it - when RD and the rest of the gang where attempting to break Twilight out of her desperation, where were you again? Oh. Right. Planing a confession party. Because the right kind of party and firework set-up clearly was more important than sparing Twilight two days of freaking out.
Same goes for Cadence and Shining. Pinks planing a party, okay. Maybe. Luna trying to let her big sister handle her own private affairs - okay. Even Tia not getting herself to fly to Ponyville, break that stupid barrier down and just talk to Twilight - even that, I can somehow wrap my head around. But Cadence, Shining - you two should be ashamed of yourselves.

What I'm trying to say, is: On the emotional side - Twilight's emotional side, since we're following her -, the resolution of the conflict was too fast. But considering the actions taken, the time passing, it wasn't fast enough. Letting her simmer for two days was just downright cruel and makes some ponies look like utter d***s.

Hrm. How to end my rambling, though? My teacher always tried to explain: Say something nice, criticize something, end with something nice. I've never been good at that.
Oh! But: The idea of well-mannered, soft-spoken, demure Tia being a little rocker girl? That was fun.

Anyway. Contrary to what it may now look like, I did enjoy your story and I thank you for writing!

[RoyalBardofCanterlot]

This was really great. I loved the way you built up the tension and the scenes with Twilight and Celestia made me swoon.

[Antonio Calavera]

Thanks for writing! I like that Celestia is into metal!