Social Sins of a Young Thang Living 'Alone'

by Regina Wright

And Then Came Cheerilee's Good Gesture

“Twilight.”

And so Twilight blinked. Her ears twitching at the familiarity of the voice and her mind, formerly considering a clever quote to catch Spike off-guard, became like ooze.

With her back angled from the front door, she couldn't see the mare who called her name with such insistence. That was a godsend. She had time to mentally prepare herself for social interaction.

Twilight considered the tone of her name being called. It didn't sound like a question or cry for attention. What it really sounded like was a demand, a barking order with the promise of whipping if she didn't obey. Of course, she was over-thinking it. She over-thought everything but she heard the call all the same. It heralded a conversation, a awkward conversation that that would only lead to her feeling bad at the end.

Bitterly she thought, why did she and Spike leave the door unlocked? This would have been the perfect time to test the lock in its usefulness. It was already ten in the morning and none of the usual library goers had arrived nor would they today. It was exactly two days before Hearth's Warming and if she and Spike weren't dealing with snowfall and late deliveries destroying her plans, they would have been on their way to Canterlot on the quickest train there.

Twilight talked plenty yesterday. Why did she have to do the same today? Twilight dragged her hoof along the table, acutely aware of Spike and the seconds that passed as she didn't respond. But did she want to respond? That was the question. If she chose not to respond, would the mare leave?

In her heart of hearts where a foal sat surrounded by books and flowers, the child said, “Go away! I don't want to play. Leave me alone, you big dummy head. You make me feel bad about myself. I hate you!”

Twilight cringed, hating herself even more.

Oh Celestia, she hadn't even turned around yet and she was already making things weird. Her mind roared as she tried to think of a dismissing response and she was swept away in the tide.

“Twilight, we have company.” He said suggestively, reaching over and snapping his claws in front of her face. Twilight blinked and the sight of Spike's reassuring face knocked some sense back into her as he pointed at the unwelcome mare. “I don't even know why you're thinking so hard.” Spike threw her a life-line. “It's my turn, you big cheater.”

But luckily for her, here was Spike. Couldn't he let her drown in her misery in peace?

Twilight tried to relax and remember that Cheerilee was just a pony. They were both ponies, highly educated with a love of learning. The two of them could have a simple conversation. It was not completely in the realm of 'never talk to me, you anti-social freak'. Yet. Somehow, she knew she would mess this up. But not to waste what opening Spike left for her, Twilight quickly added. “I don't cheat, Spike. It takes a long time to think of a counter-argument and we didn't set a rule saying we couldn't read ahead.”

Didn't she sound carefree and confident! All Twilight had to do was take it slow. She was normal. She could do it!

“In book club, that's considered cheating and you know it.” Spike noted, wagging a single claw at her before his eyes returned to the book at hoof. Somehow it felt easier to talk and Twilight took a moment to ready herself for her social debut! “If you need help, I'm sure Twilight here would be happy to assist you as she waits for me to finish the chapter.”

This was it!

“That's true. Is there anything I-” But before Twilight could properly greet her guest, she heard hooves crossing the creaky floor and felt subatomic pressure pushing all coherent thought out of her head. “Leurgh-” Twilight managed to say, forcing her head to turn and look absolute despair in the face.

It was just Cheerilee, after all.

Cheerilee the teacher.

Only a teacher who's been catching each and every one of her social flukes and got sadistic pleasure in torturing her with her presence! Was drinking the tears from foals too boring for Cheerilee? Was designing horrific tests for her cold satisfaction too boring for Cheerilee? Was having a life too boring for Cheeri-teaching-lee? Did she detect in the earth that Twilight wasn't hating herself enough this morning and decided to come by and remind her?

Well, great job Cheerilee! If only she leave and let Twilight go lick her wounds in a corner!

“Cheerilee... Go home...” Her inner foal sobbed, running under a large book and calling for Celestia to make everything feel better.

Peering up into those green eyes, Twilight saw unfathomable horrors. Deep within the thin cornea of those gateways to oblivion, Twilight caught a flicker of the true Cheerilee in some dark, crooked place of torment. A classroom! And there Cheerilee was, obscenely bellowing like a madmare. Spittle flying everywhere as she hunched over bottles and containers of foul liquids, writing Twilight's name on a slip of paper. But worse still, right next to her name, the word inadequate was circled three times.

Twilight shrieked within her head, her sniveling voice ricocheting against her collapsed temple of common sense five times before she realized that Cheerilee was still here and still expecting her to finish her sentence. Her mind growing blank as her inner foal wailed, Twilight resorted to reading the lips of Spike.

“What brings you to visit?” Twilight struggled to keep her voice leveled as her nerves boiled. Her voice cracked half way through and Twilight winced, secretly praying to be struck down and made into ash. Death would be infinitely better than to suffer through another minute of small talk.

Spike made a sipping motion. He was going to rub all of this in her face later, she just knew it. Twilight felt even worse, depending on him to make it through this plague of random socializing.

“That tea...” Twilight croaked. “ I didn't have any tea this morning. Wow, it is doing a number on my voice.” She nervously laughed. “ I need to start drinking more of it.” She coughed, ducking her head from the amused eyes of Spike. He must be cracking to pieces on the inside.

Some part of her wanted to come clean. Grow a back bone and just tell Cheerilee that she wasn't up for talking but- Too much time had passed. She couldn't exit the conversation without looking weird and likely offending Cheerilee. The thought of Cheerilee thinking that she had a freaky condition... Twilight just needed time and practice. She wasn't a freak but what if Cheerilee was telling other ponies about it and they were laughing behind her back.

“Well...” Twilight shrunk as Cheerilee pulled on the e, making her word sound so sing-song. So delighted was Cheerilee's voice as if she wasn't plotting Twilight's end. Carelessly rejoicing in the buckets of shame that Twilight was sweating out of her body. “I wanted to ask if you would like come with me on a quick stroll around town. If I'm not interrupting anything...”

“Wow, look at that.” Spike leaned forward to whisper into Twilight's ear, holding his claws to cover his lips. Being so close, Twilight worried that Cheerilee could hear his every word. “You're making even more friends. Of course, I had more friends than you at the age six.”

“They weren't your friends, Spike.” Twilight furiously whispered back, making sure Cheerilee couldn't read her mouth. “They were lackeys looking to get in my good books by being in your good books.” She sniffled, despairing the fact that he did have more friendly slackers willing to engage in idle talk than she did hers. But she wasn't the one keeping score here. Spike needed to get his priorities straight.

“Potatoe. Potato.” Spike muttered, shrugging as if she didn't rattle him. In the end, all of his friends he had from age six to now were mostly glorified babysitters and he knew it. “You're just jealous that I'm more of a joy to be around.”

Glaring, Twilight was about to correct him on exactly why ponies back at home thought he was a joy to be around when Cheerilee loudly cleared her throat. “It seems that you are in the middle of a game.” Twilight deflated, she almost forgot Cheerilee was here. There went all of Twilight's good cheer...

“It's called Literary Itinerary.” Spike kept the conversation going as he pointed at the note cards, game sheets and the two copies of the Evening Tide classic, The Romance of The Three Queens. “A book game about predicting the plot and subplots off common character types and genre.”

Actually, since they both read the door-stopping historical fiction account of life during the Glass Occupation dozens of times, they weren't sticking to the rule set. Instead, they were coming up with hypothetical situations where all the main characters lived but keeping with tension filled circumstances of that era.

“Archetypes.” Twilight corrected, finding his lack of proper word use to be terribly typical. “We been over this, Spike.”

As it was Spike's turn to find evidence for his theory of, “If Broth wasn't captured and publicly executed before he could give his warning to Princess Elixir, she would have accepted the terms of surrender that Sombra The First offered...” Which was crazy theory because there was plenty of historical documentation that she wouldn't be able to resist the chance to decapitate his head and place it on a pike. There was a reason why she was given the title, Queen of Corpses.

“Character types. Archetypes. They're both the same thing. You just like saying complicated words to sound smart.” Spike rolled his eyes, completely missing her point. “But I was going to win, anyways.” He winked at Cheerilee, causing Twilight to groan. “You girls can go have your fun.”

“Honestly, I was going to win...” Twilight trailed off, her ears miserably taking in Spike's casual tone. How could he do that as if Cheerilee wasn't there, breathing her judgmental breath and ruining their fun. But Twilight thought, what if she was the only one seeing it like this? Despite her trying to get through this minor conversation, she already felt bad about herself and that was the very thing she was trying to avoid. Was there some trick Spike knew that Twilight didn't? Was that how he was able to sound like that?

“No, you weren't.” Spike said, tapping at his score card and reminding her he was twenty points ahead.

Twilight gave up, releasing a bitter sigh. There was no way she could feel any worse. She had to get over her feelings and not let them rule her. Cheerilee did nothing but ask some question. The mare just wanted to get to know Twilight better! What was so bad about that? Did Twilight deserve friendship? If Spike could do it, so could she!

To become as out-going as Spike, she needed social experience.

She had to... Twilight gulped. Get a life...

“Seeing that Spike is so convinced that he was going to beat me next round, I guess I do have the time.” Twilight tried to add pep to her words but her dreary, unhappy tone slipped out instead. Oh well, she was making baby steps. Still, she was committing to a social activity, so there! “Fifth chapter, third paragraph. That puts a hole in your Broth Saves Everyone theory. I'll be back, mister.”

“I almost thought you didn't wanted to come.” Cheerilee smiled as she stepped back and watched Twilight put down her book and get on her hooves. Twilight looked into herself and found that she was happy to go. Really. Who knew what Ponyville looked like cradled in soft snow and brisk breezes nipping at the heels? And it was just a walk, not a confrontation. What could go wrong?

“If said that you were busy,” Cheerilee added, staring down at the Twilight's copy of The Romance of Three Queens and mumbling to herself. “I would've understood. Hmm, isn't this some heavy reading material? I had to do a paper on this when I was up at university. I can't remember the plot but it's certainly not for everyone... What was my thesis, I wonder?”

Twilight nearly dropped to her knees and begged Cheerilee to leave without her but she took a calming breath instead. Twilight couldn't aggressively ignore ponies until they gave up. Even if Cheerilee just taught her such a thing was a viable prospect and require further study.

“Before we head out, is there anyone who we can ask to watch Spike on such short notice?” Cheerilee asked, her concern well-noted but unnecessary. “It wouldn't feel right to-”

Oh no, Spike...

Twilight dragged her eyes to look behind her, carefully considering the possibility that Spike had toned down his reaction towards ponies making quick judgments about his age. Nope. It was still a sore spot for him.

Hot green smoke greeted her as it poured out of his flared nostrils. His eyes became lit in indignant fury as his shoulders shook. If only Spike could have been able to pick and choose his battle, this wouldn't be such a big issue... But Spike believed in educating one 'ignorant' pony at a time because how else could he put the world in it's place...

Twilight heard the spine of the book creak as his claws bent both sides until it was screeching. Most teenagers his age would be concerned about their height. But Spike here hated any reference of him being unable to take care himself when it came from the common pony. Goodness knows, why it drove him up the wall. He should've just enjoyed the fact ponies liked to squeeze his chubby cheeks and called him cute for all it lasted.

Spike jutted his chin up before opening his mouth. Smog ran free as he spoke, stinging her eyes as she snatched the book from him and set it down on the table. “Excuse me...” He growled, baring his teeth and sliding a forked tongue across his fangs. That new toothpaste was really doing wonders for him. She should use some herself.

Cheerilee, on the other hoof, squealed and backed away. Her eyes became the size of pins as she started hyperventilating on the spot. Should Twilight do something? Was it normal, Twilight examined Cheerilee's panting form and her hooves flailing as she tripped, to start doing that?

Spike hadn't even started yet.

“I've decided that I don't like you.” It was time to go. “Did you... Did you just imply that I'm some invalid who can't take care of-”

“Oh boy! Cheerilee, I can't wait to see what's outside! We need to pick up the pace!” Twilight rushed, already magically opening the door and shoving the non-cooperating and non-responsive Cheerilee through it. “He can handle the library, Cheerilee. There's nobody coming today.” She reassured then turned around and shouted. “I'll be back, Spike. Remember your breathing exercise and eat a ruby once you calm down. You don't want to wake up with a sore throat tomorrow!”

“Oh no, you don't! Twilight! Twilight! Bring her back!” Spike screeched, his voice a demonic howl and rattling the windows. “How dare she make such an assumption! Who does she think she is? Does she have a certified degree? I have two! And Twilight, you have another thing coming if you think I'm going to let some teacher in some backwater hick town spread her ignorance to the masses! Clearly, she doesn't know a thing about common courtesies. I'm from the capital, born and raised. I look down at you ponies when I go to p-”

Twilight slammed the door before strutting away, still dragging the shell-shocked Cheerilee down the pavement until they were out of harm's reach or the max of Spike's shouting distance.

“I didn't know I said something to set him off. That was just terrible. His eyes, oh Celestia...” Cheerilee gasped, seeming a little spooked. “I don't know how you handle those tantrums with such grace. The moment I saw that smoke and fangs glinting in the light... It felt like I was about to be eaten.” Cheerilee shuddered, knocking her forehooves together as she trembled. “I forgot that was Spike.”

“He can just be a big old bundle of nerves sometimes but that's Spike for you.” Twilight said freely, watching her breath turn to steam in the cold air. “I wouldn't call them tantrums though. He just really, really dislike being talked down to. He's won awards off his old-school fire as the Princess calls it.” She admitted, remembering the award ceremony for the Canterlot Lower-East Debate Championship. Spike was the reigning champ for the last two years, even if his personal insults were often uncalled for. “I supposed you can say he really learned it from me.” She herself was a three year winner.

“I didn't hear a word he said. All I saw his teeth go up and down.” Cheerilee murmured before abruptly asking. “Does that mean you have a stubborn streak in you too?”

“Doesn't everyone?” And that's when Twilight realized despite Cheerilee being so close, she could speak normally. Maybe this whole out-going thing wouldn't be so bad.

Comments

[Mad Maudlin]

Just let Spike eat her, Twi. It'll save everypony trouble in the long run.

[Whiteeyes]

"Baby dragon" doesn't mean the same thing as "baby pony" Ceerilee.

Oh no, now she's going to think Twilight is keeping him away from the kids because she doesn't trust him.

[Seether00]

These two have problems

[Ms_Fruit_Bat]

Spike has two degrees? What are they in?
Honestly, this Spike seems to be a very interesting character almost as interesting as that Daily Daisy character that for mentioned. Will we learn more about the both of them?
I'm loving how Twilight this Twilight is! It's refreshing to see a season one Twilight with all her awkwardness!
Cheerilee seems to have gone through some form of traumatic experience to make her this paranoid.

[CCC]

Oh, dear.

If Cheerilee had only listened to what Spike was saying, that will no doubt end up saving her a whole lot of trouble later...

[Kage no Brony]

Do you have plans to continue this? It's pretty awesome.

[Regina Wright]

5617817
I might. I would like to get some editors to go over what I have so far. Clean it up and then start updating again.

[Mewaponny]

5624489 But it's not bad! The story is interesting, and the chapters are a reasonable length. I didn't spot any spelling or grammatical errors, but then again, I wasn't looking for them.

[werewolf435]

5624489 your main problem is that you miss words here and there. If you fixed that, this would be just fine.

The First offered...” Which was crazy theory because

For example.

[RealityCheck]

I just wanna faceplant here. Twilight's not got a lot of friends, but that was because she didn't feel it was worth her time. Not because she had crippling social anxiety. And Spike may get annoyed at ponies treating him like a baby, but how the HELL does that translate into "goes raging psycho on them?" Answer: It DOESN'T. Equestria's VILLAINS don't go that berserk. Yet you've got him spewing profanities and elitist "you miserable peasant" tirades at a near total stranger at the drop of a hat.

Him snarking that "I've got two degrees, lady" would be in character. And maybe snorting some smoke in annoyance. And I could see her getting a good jump-scare from that.... but this?
You pretty much need to uproot this story and start from scratch.

[ChronoMitsurugi]

6065523 trying to push your interpretation of characters onto the author goes against the spirit of this site. Instead of saying they need to rewrite THEIR story because the context doesn't fit into your perception, why don't you use that nifty red "X" on the top right corner of your screen. That way you don't have to read this.

Huh? Imagine that, no one is forcing you to read this.

Flames don't bother me
Praise, constructive criticism, outright hatred, all viable forms of people expressing their opinions. What pisses me off though is when people try to control what others write.

The Universal Rule of Fan fiction. If you don't want to read a story, DONT! You are not obligated too.

[RealityCheck]

6116704 "How dare you render an opinion on something I put up on public display!"

[ChronoMitsurugi]

6117129 don't act innocent.
You crossed the line when you said they had to rewrite the story cause their portrayal of spike and twilight was wrong.

That's not an opinion

[blank check]

Ignore the gibbering retard. Please continue this story eventually. I wasn't quite sure what you were going for, but the last chapter made everything clear and then some. Spike's eruption was absolutely hilarious. You should probably add a comedy tag, this seems pretty indicative of a comedy of errors.

[Whiteeyes]

6117793 Actually, that is an opinion. What he thinks about something is an opinion. He thinks the story needs to be rewritten due to poor characterization, and that this story has a convoluted plot that really doesn't work well. Which honestly I kind of agree with. This is a badly rendered characterization of well established characters for the sake of a convoluted plot that quite frankly falls apart the more and more you read it and compair it to the characters we know.

6117129 I know, how dare people offer well thought out and constructive criticisms on a public forum. You'd think they were acting like such a feature was there so they could share their opinions. Everyone knows its for blindly giving praise to anything so that we never have to improve as writers by confronting our own weaknesses.

[ChronoMitsurugi]

6216083
Not necessarily. If he had said, "I think this should be changed" or "I don't think they are supposed to act that way" or "Maybe you should rewrite" it would have been opinions and a suggestion.
Demanding that it be rewrote cause the author is wrong? That's not an opinion. It doesn't matter if the fic is good or a ridiculous mistake. It belongs to the author and no one else can force their views onto said author. To try to is just wrong.

Especially since fan fiction allows EVERYONE to write their own perspective. So if someone doesn't like how the story is going, they can inform the author of such and/or go wrote their own. Unless you are their employer you can not demand the author change their vision for your own benefit. To me that is actually far worse than any flame could be.

[Regina Wright]

Okay, this whole thing here has been going on long enough. I thought it would have worked itself out.

6065495
Reality Check, I get what you're saying but this fic wasn't about writing characters correctly or ever being more than a gag-reel of silliness and exaggeration. Notice that lovely alternative universe tag. I know that if I wanted to write this story taking its premise seriously, I would have to clean it up and give it an overhaul but this is a gagfic of dramatic character interactions. Miscommunication! Misunderstanding! Al-la-la, like the absurdity of an epic ballad of a person going to the corner store then back but turned up to a ridiculous degree.

Thanks for giving the story a read and I'll keep your advice in mind.

6216309
ChronoMitsurugi, I appreciate you defending the work and my interpretations of the characters but Reality Check is free to have his opinion. Headcanons of Twilight and Spike and Ponyville may differ, that's just life. And no matter what he comments, it's up to me to choose whether or not to follow up on the advice. I only wish Reality Check had been interested in reading All The Pigments of Pink or In The Hundreds and Thousand of Words . Don't you hate it when the wrong story gets such a detailed analysis?

I know I do. It's a waste.

6216083
Why? Why did you have to continue this here? This couldn't have become a private conversation between you two seeing that you guys are talking about subjective things.

Let me be honest here, I've written blogs on this story and I've said, though I didn't mind the eyes on it, I'd rather have people reading my other stuff. My gagfics are generally palette cleaners for the darker stuff I write for fanfiction and original fiction. They are meant to be good for a slow day. This isn't the story to have such conversations on. It has no aspirations to be as such.

As the author, I have SPOKEN. Good day.

[ChronoMitsurugi]

6216453 if your okay with this then I shall move on as pertaining to your work.
Yet I still say that Reality Check wasn't stating an opinion but a demand. I would have been okay if they just said they hated the characters. No they had to try and tell you that you must rewrite your story because it didn't go the way they wanted it to.

As an asshole American (Mexican-American) I may not agree with others opinions but I will fight tooth and nail for their right to have an opinion.
Also as a person who edits stories for a living, something that has awarded me financial stability for the last 15 years I know the difference between an opinion and a demand.

Now maybe I am being too harsh. Perhaps it is all a misunderstanding. If Reality Check was a bit more polite I would have even let everything slide. I know I can be stubborn as a jackass so I would like to extend the olive branch and let this matter fall to the wayside.

Hey Reality!

Truce?

[RealityCheck]

6216453 Calling it a "gag reel of silliness" would work as an excuse if it had actually been, you know, funny. It wasn't; it was just jarring and unpleasant. Caricature consists of more than just drawing a picture of someone and making it ugly as possible, and the AU tag isn't a free pass to ignore that.

[Regina Wright]

6296028
Are you bored or something?

Our last conversation was three weeks ago and I acknowledged your advice, what more do you want?

This story was written way back when to get myself out of a writing funk. I think it kinda shows, doesn't it? It's not my problem if this is the story that everyone wants to read, I've written other crap but some reason this still gets upvotes and faves while sitting in my backlist. I don't know why they like it but I'm aware that they do. It's like half the reason why I haven't messed with it because I don't want to lose whatever charm it has.

This is not the best Twilight Sparkle story I've written and I do believe that there are plenty of other stories that might be better suited for you.

So again, I say, The AUTHOR HAS SPOKEN. Good day.

[RealityCheck]

6296560

[Scootareader]

0/10 needs more homophobia.

If you put some homophobia in this story, RealityCheck will approve of it.

[Orphan]

Ever gonna get any updates?