• Member Since 15th Feb, 2012
  • offline last seen Jul 10th, 2019



Not too long ago, humans were believed by all right-thinking, sane ponies to be nothing more than breezie tales. After all, what sort of creature could live and breathe without magic permeating their very existence?

Once an interdimensional fissure appeared in Equestria, however, ponies came into contact with those very same creatures, right out of the storybooks! The two races barely had time to begin initiating relations before the ice was suddenly broken for them. Eirene, Princess of Peace and daughter of Cadance and Shining Armor, was born, and a new would-be changeling queen now has the opportunity she needs to start her own hive... at the expense of Eirene's love. Worse, if the newborn foal cannot safely reach the Crystal Empire before the next dark moon, the princess's gift of peace to the hearts of Equestrians will be lost forever.

With threats arraying against them and time running very short, the ponies turn to the one advantage they have, the one thing no changeling could possibly predict: one human volunteer, willing to protect Eirene from the evil magics of the world and see her home safely...

...at any cost.

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 12 )

I suspect this will be another great story, Defoloce. Excited to read it

Awesome stuff so far. Am definitely looking forward to seeing where this goes.

I really like your authorial voice; it's mature and calm without being bloodless and dry.

Great to see you adding another work to your collection, Defoloce. Looking forward to seeing where this one leads.


I'm excited to write it! This will be my first not-based-on-someone-else's-universe piece since Six Deeds!


Wow, thanks, I've never had someone comment on my writing voice before! I'm glad it suits you.


This one will be something of a challenge for me, as I'll be balancing a few separate story threads throughout, which I've never really done before. Third-person omniscient, ho!


Third-person omniscient, ho!

I've never even attempted third-person omniscient. It's difficult and, frankly, out of vogue with modern writing.

I'll be interested to see how you pull it off!

Certainly an intriguing premise. You do tend to overuse the thesaurus at times, and your descriptive priorities could use a little work. We know what Celestia and Luna look like, but we don't know why lunar phases have an impact on the tides. (Heck, given that lunar phases are caused by the relative positions of the planet, moon, and sun, that seems like it could be resolved by the sisters working together, especially in a geocentric system.)

But these are quibbles. There's a lot to like here, from changeling biology to mysterious hints of human magic to silly Luna. I'm definitely looking forward to more.


I hear what you're saying about descriptions, but it's just my way. I mean, I realize this is a My Little Pony fanfiction on a My Little Pony fanfiction site being read by My Little Pony fans, and I could get away with not doing this. However, for purely narrative reasons, if I want a reader to picture a character in a specific way, I am going to describe that character. I try to write assuming nothing about the person reading it.

In the specific example of describing Celestia and Luna, it's to set up Inspire's reaction to seeing them. She looks on Celestia with awe, but it's hard to sell that if the reader doesn't know who Celestia is or what she looks like. Again, I know just about 100% of FIMfiction regulars don't need Princess Celestia's description, but for writing the story itself, describing her is the right thing to do.

Ah, this is getting quite interesting. Neither side has complete information and has to work with what they think they know. Meanwhile, our human protagonist doesn't have the slightest clue. Definitely looking forward to more.

Also, drones communicating in waggle dance? Interesting, but it seems less than efficient.

More really cool stuff; I love the detail you're able to put into the military operations. Looking forward to seeing how the human and pony paths cross.


The rank and file changelings in the show had no spoken lines, so I envision them as mute, able to communicate only in the way bees do.


Well, you're always told to write what you know!


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