• Member Since 14th Nov, 2014
  • offline last seen 6 hours ago

Crossed Quills

Writer, poor artist, and voracious reader.


The few.

The proud.

The only ones who were available at the time.

When the royal budget is blown, Luna needs to show that the disasters that have so drained Equestria's resources aren't going to continue. Reforming the Lunar Guard on a tight purse means that she doesn't necessarily get the ponies that she would have chosen, but how bad could it possibly be?

They're reckless, dangerous, they weren't even supposed to be here today, and they might well be Equestria's last hope.

(Featured and flattered!)

Chapters (12)
Comments ( 156 )

I'm pretty sure accountancy isn't a crime it just means your an accountant.

Comment posted by Crossed Quills deleted Nov 14th, 2014

Princess of caffeinated beverages... the most holy and royal of titles

5271721 With the creation of a new princess, Luna is probably worried that all of the good 'things to be princess of' will be gobbled up. She MIGHT be the only one that subscribes to that system of governance.

Hire the Changelings, you could troll the other intelligence agencies with all kinds of false information :pinkiehappy:


Unfortunately counter-intelligence is not part of the immediate mission statement of Luna's personal guard but we can send them onto Celestia and the EIS, although it seems that the changelings are doing a wonderful job of sabotaging themselves.

Sharp Salute would get along with Diana Trent just fine.

And of course, the zebra is the most straight forward of the bunch. Excellent set up. Keep up the good work. I smell Pratchett/Douglas style typing.


This. Is. Glorious. More, my good man, more I say!

Um... Isn't Twilight the Alicorn of Magic? Yes she was named the Princess of Friendship, but I got the impression that that is more of a title and duty than a descriptor of her personal powers. Part of the plot of Twilight's Kingdom was about how she felt that she had no real duties. How can Luna be the Princess of Magic when Twilight has surpassed Starswirl the Bearded, greatest conjurer of the Pre-Classical Era?

5314108 Of course, you raise a fairly valid point. The title of 'princess of magic' could probably have gone to Twilight Sparkle at this point, but in absence of any sort of canonical declaration, I mainly went with what was funny. It bears noting that while Luna is inarguably the princess of the Moon and probably has reasonable claim over the night sky, the rest of the titles ascribed to her in the fic are entirely self-claimed. The short version: Luna called dibs centuries before Twilight was born, and nobody really wants to see the moon-princess sulk.

Twilight is humble enough to refrain from giving herself extra titles, so if she was crowned the princess of friendship then that's probably her only title.

5314220 And no one can out sulk Luna. She does have some experience


For some reason, I am suspicious of Zorada. She's not a more-competent-than-usual changeling, is she?

5315584 Zorada is probably best defined as 'or something'. As, for that matter, are most of the rest of the cast. Anything more would be telling. :)

This is great. I will only wait for the next chapter because I have to. But a loop hole will be found if need be. All glory to Sharp Salute and his soon to be written Old man Strength.

5308768 I was thinking Pratchett from the moment I read the title. And , I have to say, I was not dissapointed. True, it doesn't quite reach the quality of The Master Himself, but it is still a glorious homage (even in the case that he didn't intend it to be. I won't presume)

I am loving the squad members.
I foresee a great many incident's ahead.

5319497 Although I am an avid reader of Pratchett, I confess that not a lot of Pratchettian thought was in my head when choosing the title. The Rembrandt painting is among my favourite from the Dutch Golden Age, and depicted a reasonably motley assortment - one of the commonly told, although possibly apocryphal stories is that certain artefacts within the painting were added in to obscure faces when it was revealed that members of the group could not afford their pitch in to pay for the work. It seemed fitting somehow, along with the fact that they're working for Luna.

It is flattering, of course, to be considered even comparable to Sir Terry, and I like to think that my writing style is a melange of the varied writers that I read, with a bit of my own added in. I know for a fact that strongly informing the writing of Chapter 3 will be elements from Jonathan L. Howard's 'Johannes Cabal' series of novels.

Ooohhh... I love the Misfit Squad already! :pinkiehappy:

This story has all the Pratchett-esque elements that I love in the best MLP stories. The essential starting problem is believable as are the problems encountered. I agree with the author's quibble about how Discord got free and I wonder if the Cultists will show their faces in this story.

I'm going to be following this to find out just what happens next!

Calling it now: Zoralda is a Zebrafrican spy.

"Alas, I was only pretending to be on your side..."

Excellent. The cloaked ponies at the end remind me of the cult from Guards! Guards!

A suggestion about footnotes. If you are going to use them then insert them into the text with a [ right_insert ] tag. Going down to the end to remember what the footnote was referring doesn't work well in online docs unless it's already on the screen.

Luna: My guard is better than yours!
Celestia: How so?
Luna: They can break things faster.
Celestia: Ah, and you'll be paying for the property damage out of your own pocket, hmm?
Luna: .... Um... LOOK OUT BEHIND YOU! *flees

The team is shaping up to be excellent. Though Hot Streak got called Hot Steak when describing the members positions.


Excellent. The cloaked ponies at the end remind me of the cult from Guards! Guards!

Oh my god yes!

were it not for the fat that his class

I think you mean fact.

This.. is going to be come something truly great. Though I feel the one that is going to be my favorite is Zorada. I can feel the smart mouthing miles away.

"...ever since then, it's been illegal to make Clover the Clever's thirteenth formulation for cosmically good macaroni and cheese.”

A genuine Noodle Incident. Well played.

I wonder if those morons in the Order realise that said "monsters of old" will kill them rather than let them share any power whatsoever? Probably not. Awareness that the reason said Monsters were a threat to civilisation was because of their desire to control said civilisation seems to escape this kind of person.

Proof once again, that the worst way to wall off horrible monsters that could destroy the world is not to put them behind a steel door inscribed with "Keep Out" and "Danger"

Instead, they should be filed in a governmental warehouse and labelled "Tax Forms 1087 G.E. - Sales and Income - Tertiary copies of Form 104727.6B, to be retained in perpetuity."




Well, I don't know exactly what they'll find in the warehouse, but at least they're not having any trouble getting into it. I like Gawain. He's a nice character.

Though footnote 13 is a bit weird. His laugh has enough years of cynicism behind it to eventually evolve into cynicism?

5741495 Things will happen, and Gawain isn't going anywhere, at least for a little while. ^^ We shall see what transpires beyond that.

some camel philosopher had invented the concept of 'zero'.

If that was intentional, which, given your writing style, I assume that it was, I approve and I see what you did there.

Wasn't it just so hard to hire good help these days?

It really, really is. This is why I get annoyed when all the evil classes get the ability to smite good people when it's the other evil people that are more likely to screw you over. Not that Gawain is actually evil, but it's the principle of the thing.

im not understanding any of this... its over writed or im just too lacking in my english reading skills...anyway it seems like a nice story but i cant really read much of it whitout getting a headache. will go back to this when im less tired i guess??

The description made me chuckle. I'm in. Lets see how good this will be.

6337380 What part is giving you trouble friend? I'd be glad to clear it up for you.

In reference to "Would you ever like to see sunlight again?" may I offer this from "Nixes Family" by Reality check.

That's right. Darkness in Day. That's the only warning the Gryphon Empire had before their little act of invasion 400 years ago got a response.... a nice little mid-day eclipse. Twenty four hours later Celestia and the Solar Army were rolling up the last of the Gryphon Emperor's army like a pastry chef rolling up a blintz. It was a century before the sanctions were lifted and before any Gryphon was allowed to carry anything more intimidating than a butter knife. To this day the Gryphon Kings whitewash the seat of their thrones at the very thought of going to war with Equestria. They're not too fond of eclipses, either, come to think of it.

"THAT'S what a takeover by Equestria looks like!

"Missed it by thaat much" Where's it from? First three right guesses get choice of anything 10 carats and under from my hord

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