Family
Rainbow walked alongside Pepper towards the mall, a cash card hanging by a strap around her neck. "So where are we going, Pepper?" Rainbow asked.
"Well," Pepper explained, "after your history lesson, I talked with Tony and we agreed that, if you were going to be wearing those other outfits for your lessons, you also needed to have some more normal clothes as well."
Rainbow stared up at her flat eyed. "And if I ask Daddy, what will he say?" she asked.
Pepper rolled her eyes. "He'll probably tell you I just wanted to play dress up with you, too."
"Is that true?" Rainbow asked.
"I won't deny it," she admitted.
Rainbow chuckled. "Guess I'm just awesome like that!"
"More like adorable," Pepper countered.
"I'm not adorable!" Rainbow complained. "I'm awesome!"
"Maybe both?" Pepper offered in a conciliatory tone.
Rainbow scrunched her face up in focus. "So...I'm Awe-dorable?" she asked.
Pepper chuckled. "Yeah, that sounds about right."
With a huge grin, Rainbow continued down the road with as much swagger as a five year old candy colored pegasus could manage while tugging the leash of a curious mutant reptile trying to sniff the sushi shop on the other side of the street. Pepper did her best not to giggle, knowing Rainbow didn't like it when she felt like she was the butt of the joke.
At the mall, they managed to find a pet clothing store where they could get pre-made outfits in Rainbow's size, although Pepper had to promise to make wing holes in any outfits they actually bought for her. However, as Rainbow tried on outfit after outfit - all rather adorable on her - it quickly became apparent that her taste in clothing was either purpose made or minimalistic. "How come I hafta wear clothes, anyway?" she demanded after changing out of a tiny business suit. "I can't fly in any of these, and Daddy never complained if I flew around naked."
Pepper shrugged helplessly, not wanting to get into the whole 'nudity taboo' or anything else cultural, considering that Tony wasn't the only one who saw nothing wrong with Rainbow being without clothes. "Certain occasions call for certain styles is all," she said at last. "Besides, don't use Tony as a barometer for what's normal or acceptable. He's pretty far from the norm, anyway."
Rainbow thought about it for a time as she grabbed the next outfit Pepper had picked out for her, gagging at seeing it was a 'Pretty Princess' outfit. "So, Daddy doesn't really care about things like that?"
"Not really, no," Pepper admitted. "Geniuses of his level tend to develop...a certain amount of disdain for cultural norms...of all sorts."
"So that's why Daddy doesn't care if I fly around naked?"
Pepper shrugged. "Part of the reason, certainly." She took a drink from her soda.
"So he'd be okay if you walked around naked?" Rainbow asked.
Pepper choked a bit on her soda, nearly spraying it as her she barely controlled her laughter before making a total fool of herself. "Probably," she said at last, her voice thick with amusement. "though for entirely different reasons."
Rainbow grunted as she looked at herself in the Princess outfit before rapidly shedding it. Grabbing a vest, she shrugged it on, looking at herself in the mirror, when a thought occurred to her. "Pepper?"
"Yeah, Rainbow?"
"Are...are you my Mommy?"
Pepper paused, lost in thought for a while. "Why do you ask?"
"Well, I was reading, and I read that if someone only has a Daddy, then the Daddy's special lady might be the Mommy," Rainbow explained. "So I asked JARVIS if Daddy had a special lady like that, and he said Daddy always turns to you for a lot of things, and he's 95% certain Daddy likes you that way as much as he's able, and the fact that you've put up with him this long without either leaving, strangling him, or begun actively sabotaging him suggests you have to have some sort of feelings for him." Liking the vest, Rainbow then donned a beret before turning back to Pepper. "So are you my Mommy?"
Pepper sat back, rubbing her chin as she stared at Rainbow. Eventually, she kneeled down, scratching Rainbow behind one ear with a soft smile. "That's up to Tony," Pepper said at last.
"It is?" Rainbow asked, confusion overcoming the usual pleasure she got from ear scratches. "Why can't you just say if you are?"
"It's more complicated than that, Rainbow," Pepper explained. "I don't really know how to explain it."
Rainbow pouted at that. Then she shed the vest and beret and held up the cash card. "Daddy said there was $350 from something called a swear jar on this, and I was to try buying stuff with it. I'ma buy a jet!"
Pepper chuckled, making a few notes about what type of outfits to special order for Rainbow later.
A week later, Rainbow sat back happily on Hulk's shoulder as she flew the remote control mini-spy jet she had bought from the electronics store. "Watch me buzz that news chopper!" Rainbow said eagerly, flying the plane in one side of the open chopper and out the other. The reporter and camera crew yelped in surprise, but ceased to make any fuss beyond getting shots of Rainbow sitting happily on Hulk's shoulder. Even after all this time, that was still newsworthy, apparently.
Hulk chuckled. "Nice flying!" he complimented.
After a time of flying, they paused for a picnic lunch. Rainbow ate an egg salad sandwich, Hulk ate a 5 pound burrito, and threw a vat grown swordfish for Zuki to chase and eat. After a time, Rainbow asked a question that had been bothering her since she'd learned of the issue. "Hulk?"
"Yeah?" he asked, brushing some crumbs off his Mary Poppins outfit. He still insisted dressing the part of either Rainbow's nanny or bodyguard, even if Rainbow had long outgrown the need. It was anyone's guess whether it was because it entertained Rainbow or if he secretly liked dressing like that.
"Daddy said there's someone else inside you," Rainbow pointed out. "How come I haven't met him?"
Hulk grunted. "Banner," he growled. "Not very nice man. Bad influence on Rainbow." He then chuckled. "Tony not much better, but he's Daddy. What can you do?" He shrugged and chuckled.
"Daddy's not that bad!" Rainbow insisted defensively.
Hulk chuckled. "Rainbow and Pepper make him better."
Rainbow blinked, remembering another conversation. "Hulk, why would Pepper say it was up to Tony if she was my Mommy?"
Hulk grunted. "Tony need grow up." Seeing Zuki approach, Hulk picked up a fallen tree and threw it for Zuki to fetch, effectively deflecting the conversation as Rainbow clung to the tree for the next fetch, shrieking in glee.
"So tell me Rainbow," Nick Fury asked, glancing down at his folder. "Anything bothering you?"
Rainbow sat back, stretching. "Well...there is one thing that I've been thinking about," she admitted.
Nick sighed. While he liked Rainbow, these 'mandatory psych evaluations' were the worst part of the job, in his opinion. Still, it was part of the deal that let him use Shield connections to get Rainbow citizenship and smooth Tony's adoption of her. "So what's bothering you?"
"Well, I asked Pepper if she was my Mommy-"
Nick groaned. This was going to be a headache.
"And she said it was up to Daddy." Rainbow frowned. "JARVIS said they had good chemistry, but Pepper wouldn't explain, said it was complicated grown up stuff. But then Hulk said Daddy needed to grow up. If Daddy needs to grow up, how can it be grown up stuff I won't get?"
Nick sighed, shaking his head. "Look kid, I'm going to be level with you. I'm not sure how much you'll understand, but I'll give you the answers I understand." Rainbow sat up eagerly to listen. "Okay, it's pretty obvious to anyone with even one good eye that your Dad and Miss Potts like each other in that special way. But your Father isn't exactly the most responsible or mature of adults. Sure, he's saved the world a few times, runs a successful business, and takes good care of you...but socially, he's still an overgrown adolescent. But if he and Miss Potts are going to go any further in their relationship, she needs to know he's ready to be an adult." He stared at Rainbow. "...you getting any of this?"
Rainbow scratched her head. "So...Pepper likes Daddy, but Daddy's still a little boy, and she needs him to be a man before she can be my Mommy?"
"Something like that," Nick admitted, rather surprised at Rainbow's grasp of things.
"Then why did Pepper say it was up to Daddy?" Rainbow asked in confusion.
"Because it's up to him when he's ready to grow up," Nick explained.
Rainbow blinked, thinking about that. "I think I get it." She stood up. "I need to use the phone." She flew off.
Nick blinked for a time. "Why do I have the feeling I've just set something insanely dangerous and possibly hilarious in hindsight in motion?" he asked no one.
Meanwhile, Rainbow flew up to the computer. "JARVIS, call Thor," she said. "I need to ask him a favor."
Three days later, Pepper came to knock on Rainbow's door. "Rainbow, I need to ask you something," she said firmly.
Rainbow opened the door meekly, recognizing Pepper's "you're in trouble little lady" tone of voice. "...yeah?"
"Might you happen to know why Thor crashed the rather romantic dinner Tony prepared for Valentine's Day for the two of us to challenge him to 'right honorable combat'?"
Rainbow blinked. "I asked Thor to make Daddy a man," she admitted.
Pepper stared at her. "...Why?"
"Because if Daddy was a man instead of a little boy, then you'd be my Mommy?"
Pepper stared at Rainbow for a time, then burst into laughter. Kneeling down, she pulled Rainbow into a warm embrace.
Blinking, Rainbow returned the embrace. "...I'm in trouble?"
"Yes," Pepper replied. "But there is good news."
"Oh?" Rainbow asked hopefully.
Pepper smiled, glancing at the contents of a small box Tony had dropped as the Mark 8 had unfolded in time to deflect Mjolnir's impact. "I am your Mommy, now," she said softly.
Rainbow let out a happy cheer as she nuzzled into Pepper's shoulder, hugging her tight.
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Can't...handle...the cute...
Also, I think it's time to bring a villian into the story, maybe the one you've already mentioned...?
D'aaaaaaaaaw!
You always make me smile!
This fic is so bloody absurd.
It's a special kinda special.
You had me jumping and squeeing/giggling like a little fanboy!
The Mk. 8 was probably unfolded in that haphazard "OH GOD, I"M LITERALLY GOING TO DIE WITHOUT THIS!!" sort of way.
Only Rainbow Dash can come up with a plot so absurdly bad that it succeeds...
Well, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie...
Okay, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Trixie, the CMC, Mystery Inc, Hongkong Fuey...
I'ma go lay down now until my headache goes away...
5666996 i liked to imagine it put itself together in the same way it did in the latest iron man movie, when he's in the bad guys base and it shows up a couple pieces at a time, and he has to make do with what he's got until the rest shows up.
The amount of d'awwww just reached critical levels!
31.media.tumblr.com/35964ba649eee6f95fec6daaa422bd57/tumblr_n0cz53p3fY1snfkcvo8_250.gif
this needs some loki. great story though. keep up the good work
5666860 MY SENTIMENTS EXACTLY!
Awww....
Ooooo, a new update, that was fast.
Sooooo...
Will Banner make an appearence? At all?
mlpforums.com/uploads/monthly_07_2014/post-25189-0-86772000-1405421755.jpg
I don't know whether to be pleased or disappointed this chapter hasn't gotten one Mulan joke/reference. So I'll do it.
Thor came from the dark side of the moon to make an Iron Man out of Tony.
cuteness over load bran shutting down reboot happening.
ouch I hate it when that happens.
a really good chapter and this story just keep rocking on.
now if you can find some of the older Villon's from the cartoon series I will look around a bit I think I have some of it on vhs some ware.
Harts Fire
I've been watching Agent Carter recently and I'm wondering when Rainbow is going to ask about her Grandpa Howard.
Ah yes, this chapter reminds most on how hard it is for adults to explain their adulthood towards children. And unlike a majority of awkward (and possibly destructive) situations, this worked out, and in a heartwarming and adorable fashion
He...nice
Ah, the logic of children...Not much better than my own childhood logic.
Anybody ever watch the old Jetsons movie? Back when Judy ran into Apollo Blue, and she was 'acting funny' around him, my child-mind came to the possible conclusion that she just "really liked the color blue" (which got a roar of laughter from my father), and right there in front of her was a guy with two shades of it for skin color.
[COMMENT DELETED DUE TO USER DEATH BY CUTENESS OVERLOAD. PLEASE TRY AGAIN LATER.]
IT IS STILL KAWAII DESU!
5668286 Trying again later now.
i lost it on this chapter
nick quoting a trope nice
and finally I lost it at this
your doing the advice but still not enough funny hulk remember this is a comedy you need that funny guy
Oh the cuteness is high on this one
That was perfect and hilarious!
I also like how this is the first chapter to be exclusively from Rainbow's perspective, with Tony only being mentioned. Makes the whole thing feel rather fresh, and seeing Pepper actually interact with RD is great.
Brilliant! fc00.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2012/363/2/f/clapping_pony_icon___rainbow_dash_by_taritoons-d5pkzrg.gif
Why was this placed before the last chapter?
5672970 because screw logic!
5672970
Yes Tatsurou please try not to do that again please it's kind of annoying don't you think
5667664
Time is racing toward us till the guns arrive
Heed my every order and you might survive
You need suit up for the rage of war
Or pack up, go home, you're through
How could I make a Iron man out of you?
I freaking love Thor!
Dawwwwwwwww.
Obligatory reference:
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That word is now officially in my dictionary
Well we can only hope Tony' s potty mouth doesn't rub off on dash.
This kids is why we don't trust you with any Devices yet.
5709431 Yeesh. I had nightmares from that one.
wait... Deflected Mjolnir? um.. that thing is made from the core of a dead star.. and well dark matter, At least I think it is..., still, kids what can you do?
5728209
Ir deflected it, not blocked it.
5728209
Mjolnir isn't made from the core of a dying star. It was in the core of a dying star. The dying star was used as a mold. Very big difference. Also, it weighs 42 pounds.
I dub this story Awe-Dorable. :D
This is ridiculously high levels of cute.
Can one of you aspiring artistes out there please make a pic of Dash in a jet costume?
5795936 encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSQfbGJ6h0EEanKkuloehjs1AdNT5vksAniwveskPs6xPd1qZTK not by me
I don't know what I'll do when I finish this story. I can't think of anything that would top it! Nothing!
First 5 second:
8 second:
10 second:
The end
*chuckles* Yeah, that works.
OH yeah.
Wait, if he's not angry, shouldn't be be Banner? Or does it not work that way here?
Wonder what Hulk has against Banner? Maybe him constantly repressing him like Jekyll did Hyde?
Basically.
Cause you have.
Daaw.
6197255 You forget. Banner is ALWAYS angry.