• Member Since 4th Oct, 2014
  • offline last seen Dec 14th, 2014

Betty-tea-dead


E

A little vacation back in time never hurt anyone did it? Discord thought he was so clever, going back when he was wild and free to relive the good old days for little while. But he failed to reconize that the largest threat didn't come from endangering the space time continum. But from himself.

And when he returned home, he continues to suffer from his own self affliction.

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 16 )

This will end in tears, death, a epic Discord V.S Discord fight, or all of the above.


Can't wait to see this cute story turn sour! :pinkiecrazy: ( also, you capitalized the l in Flutter Buddies; don't know if you meant to do that. )

5115143 Haha thanks for pointing that out! It's all fixed now

Wow, it's a great story!
EXCEPT!
Grammar.
You are switching from past to present. So JUST PICK PAST.
Say, said instead of saying because the entire story was jambled up like that. Othewerwise, it was nice@

5119156

I got a HUGE problem with that, I agree. I'm asking for proofreaders to help me with this stuff.

5119168 Just put saying,
into said.
IT'S THAT EASY.:rainbowlaugh:

5119192

8'I Sometimes remembering those rules are easier for others okay? It helps to have a second pair of eyes to see what I missed or forgot.

5119199 I know!
I had to edit my own 33 thousand story THREE times!:rainbowlaugh:

5119722

That must of been a pain! Anyways I have a proofreader now. Thanks for your comments I guess?

OOH! This is really good so far! Let's see where it takes us; I hope Discord ends up okay. Your characterization is so good!!! And yay :yay: for the fluttercord friendship or shipping or whichever you like! :D You have their interactions and relationship down really, REALLY well...I like how well you explained how Discord has to be careful around her, but that she's totally okay with him doing whatever he wanted at her cottage. That's exactly how it is, I imagine. Great job!

5124679 Fluttercord is my weakness~ You'll see plenty of that as the story continues but it won't be too focused on it. :yay: But I'll be damned if it's not my favorite (if not only mlp pairing) I ship religiously~

5124691 May I just say feel free to put in as much of it as you well darn please because it's my OTP and the only real ship I care about. May the squeeing commence forth. lol, but seriously. It's my weakness too, so do it as much as you want! I'll be reading!

This is going to end badly for Discord. Can't wait to see more! :heart:

...
How is this story not as popular as it should be?
Because you have one of the best grasps on Discord I've seen on this website. And you don't always go back to the old tricks Discord has used on the show. Yes, you used chocolate rain, but some people act as if that's the only thing he's capable of, or something. Or they can only think of things they've seen on the show. But you came up with your own stuff! (Jello grass, love it!) This needs more praise, this needs more popularity. I am so excited to see how this is going to play out.
And yeah I know you said that it isn't the focus but....~fluttercord~ :yay: Just the little bits you give are enough to make me squeal because you make it so cute.
But you really have us feeling for Discord here. You really get it across that he has no idea what to do. Not only that, but he isn't even sure who he is anymore. And the tension is building up greatly, but at a great pace.
My only suggestion is that you had him immediately go into the Castle of the Two Sisters really quickly. He went through the portal and suddenly had bookshelves in front of him. It's a teeny tiny little detail that really didn't marr my enjoyment of this chapter at all, but I thought I had missed something at first. That's my only comment.
But this is all brilliant, and I love this so much. If you'd like me to perhaps put links to your story in other places, I would be happy to, because this is really well-written and it's so good! :pinkiehappy:

5190622

Thank you for the incredibly in depth comment! Yes, I agree it was a little rushed but I can't help but feel impatient to get to the actual meat of the story. Won't spoil anything for now, but we'll be getting a lot more of (at least my own version) Discords mentality and relationships with the ponies around him.

I'll be writing other Discord stories with calmer plots so there won't be any reason to rush anything so keep an eye out. ^ u ^

Just wanted to pop in and say that I really like this story. I’m sad that it seems it won’t be continued! I had actually read it some years back and just came across it again. Thank you for blessing us with the bit you wrote. I love the concept and Discord’s characterization.

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