The Letter
It sat on a polished goldenwood desktop, the stark white of the paper glaring against the warm sun-colored wood. All other papers had long since been swept away in a shaky magical grasp, scattered to the four corners of the room. The lone paper was not entirely alone, however. Translucent globes of water beaded on the polished shine of the desk, reflecting the pink and gold of another glorious sunrise, shimmering and shivering in the hesitant, sob-choked breaths of the figure hunched in abject sorrow over the letter.
There were damp spots on the page, blurring the ink in places, but never quite wiping away the words; those words that the mare could never unsee, never not have read.
The calligraphy was elegant, accomplished sweeps of a brush, held in an unshakable magical grip, the finely formed script she had patiently taught him, one painstaking day at a time in years past. She had never thought then that those lessons, those shared moments, would be used to hurt her this way.
Although she would have given anything in her power to make this single letter a figment of her imagination, a lingering remnant of nightmare or hallucination, she could not help but read the words again, hoping against hope that this time they might say something different.
My Dearest Aunt Celestia;
Do you know how hard this is to write? I must have torn up a hundred drafts, shredded an entire forest’s worth of paper, to write what will, in essence, be this, a short farewell.
For that is what this is, a goodbye far too long in the making. Perhaps I should have penned this letter years ago, when I first realized the lies you had woven around me; the half-truths and outright evasions you blithely spread over the truth like jam over scorched toast. The sweetness can hide a multitude of sins, but can never quite cover the bitter, burned taste.
At first it was the lies in kindness that any parent tells their child. Santa Hooves, that the monster under the bed is not real, and perhaps that most penultimate of untruths, that everything will be all right. Well, Santa Hooves does not exist, the monsters may not be under the bed but they are very real, and sometimes, everything will never be right again.
I could have forgiven those, for every parent ever born has told those tiny lies in kindness. And you were indeed that, my loving parent, a doting aunt and the mother I could never have, though I, as a foal, wished for that like nothing I had ever desired before. In the privacy of my room, after you had tucked me into bed, I sometimes called you that, whispering words I could never say in the light of your sunny day.
But as I grew older, so too did the lies, evolving from the gentle half-truths of a parent to more blatant evasions. From the sideways glances, avoiding my eyes, when I would ask why I lived in the palace with my Auntie Celestia, when all the other foals had mothers and fathers, to the unsubtle attempts to change the subject when I asked questions about the ruling of a kingdom. For all that I love you, my dear aunt, subtlety is not your strong point. Manipulation, gentle nudging of things behind the scenes, careful planning and outright mangling of the truth, oh, those you are a master of... but when something that makes you uncomfortable comes up, your grand chessmaster facade comes crashing down.
I have seen the truth behind the mask, you see.
The benevolent princess, the loving aunt, those are just another set of lies, a sugar-coating to hide what is really there.
I will not call you a tyrant, for you do everything in your power for your subjects, those ponies who will never see the other side of you. You will do everything to keep them from harm and from seeing that their beloved princess is a tired, frightened mare who has lost her way.
I think, perhaps, that you lost your way a long time ago, a thousand years or more. You see, when you lied to me about the mare in the moon and Nightmare Night, I took it upon myself to find the truth you would not reveal, the woeful tale of a younger sister who lived too long in the shadow of the elder, who failed to notice so much. I found an old, battered diary in the depths of the library in which you recounted how you had been blind to your sister’s anguish and growing resentment and all the times a few simple words might have set things right. Words you had never said, and how a mare of darkness was born from a morass of fear, resentment and anger to challenge you.
What happened then, I cannot say, for there are a number of pages in the middle of the diary torn out, directly after the day your sister became the infamous Nightmare. I wondered what had once been written there, what rueful and pained words you might have penned then, but there is only one soul who knows, and she will never tell the truth of what lay in those missing pages.
Perhaps losing Luna to her madness is what caused you to lose your own way; to become, if you will forgive the analogy, a spider sitting in the center of her web, pulling strings and maneuvering all around her in her schemes and designs. Plotting and planning... and above all, lying and manipulating everypony who dared care for you.
Your little student, Twilight Sparkle, among them. I wanted to hate her for absorbing all your attention when I still craved it like water, but your deceptions had already soured on me. She was and still is, blind to your flaws and to the calculated ease with which you manipulate her, your “faithful student.”
At least your former student, Sunset Shimmer, saw through you as I did. You quashed her incipient rebellion effortlessly, so I never gave you cause to turn your gaze on me. Perhaps I should have, it would have garnered your attention, at least.
Some small part of me, the foal I once was, who adored his Auntie unreservedly, hoped that with the Summer Sun Celebration and the subsequent return of your sister would— I don’t know— help you become more than the lost mare I saw beneath the mask of the perfect sun princess.
Alas, that was not to be. You continued in your lies and deceptions; your grand chessmaster scheming. Perhaps it had been a part of you for too long, a habit you did not know how to break.
I found myself with more in common with your sister, my new aunt, Luna as the days passed. The bitterness that had transformed her into the Nightmare had found seed in my heart, but I was determined not to let it flourish. It was shortly after the rather spectacular disaster that the Gala had become, when I realized just how much I was letting the shell I had built to protect me from hurtful lies— that of the arrogant, careless prig without a thought in his head beyond his place in society— become me.
I need to find who I truly am, because right now... I do not know.
I am not a good pony, Auntie. I have done questionable things, and treated ponies as beneath my notice. It was never clearer to me than when the esteemable Rarity, element of generosity, went off on me. It brought my attention to just how far I had fallen. So far that the light of your sun no longer falls on me for the darkness of my soul.
So this, I fear, is goodbye. Perhaps not forever— for someday I might be a better stallion, one without bitterness and resentment festering in his heart, and you might once again be the aunt I thought you were when I was still a foal and knew nothing of your lies. I doubt it, but it is a faint hope in the dark.
I think perhaps it is time to follow the destiny branded upon my flank, when I drew my first map, of all the secret passages in the palace, even those you did not know of or had forgotten. It is time to follow those lines on a map, and hope they lead me to myself. If I had a map to do the same for you, know that I would give it to you unreservedly.
I still love you, and I doubt I will ever not love you, even when my bones lie bleaching beneath the heat of your sun, and I hope somehow you still love me in more than the distant way you care for all of your subjects, those pawns on your grand game board.
Be well.
HRH Blueblood the 52nd, Royal Cartographer, First Class.
No matter how many times she read them, the words remained unchanged in the harsh light of day. Nothing could erase those stark black letters, for now every one of them were branded in her heart. No matter how many tears she shed, how much the ink blurred, she would still remember every last painful word.
She collapsed across the desktop, her ethereal mane gone limp with despair, and wailed, a heartbroken cry of anguish that terrified everypony who heard it. The entire palace— indeed, the whole city of Canterlot and the environs beyond, quailed at the grief in that cry.
And somewhere, on a dusty road, a lone stallion hesitated briefly before resolutely placing one hoof before the other on his way to the distant horizon.
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Wow.
5093463
I hope that's a good "Wow."
Damn... This is a beautifully emotional Blueblood and Celestia piece.
Thanks for writing!
By the way, I noticed 2 minor errors:
Replace the period with a comma.
The highlited "you" should be - your
At first it was the lies in kindness that any parent tells their child... that the monster under the bed is not real.
Aaaaand the sequel continues the tradition of severely creeping me out with a particular line, even if it's one I was already aware of in the context of their world.
Also, touching stuff! I can picture another sequel, maybe set after the next season or so, in which he returns, maybe not all smiles, but happier than he's been in years, to find a more honest, less manipulative Celestia? A short story in which the Princess of the Sun spends a few hilarious days hanging out with the Apple Family would probably be too jarring a shift in tone to include, but something like that might have happened.
This was absolutely fantastic. Well written short and sweet. Everything flowed wonderfully. Bravo. Have a like and a fav!
Fan-freaking-tastic. It just sings off the page.. err... screen. Bravo
You captured his voice perfectly. Bravo!
Well done!
Nicely done! I like it how Rarity was his wake up call about his own faults.
Very nice, some good characterization for Blueblood and benevolent tyranny for Celestia
5093565 Oh yeah it is, it was just all I could come up with 5 minutes before midnight.
5093680
Thank You! I'm so glad you enjoyed and thank you so much for the catches on those errors! Fixed now! I read over it several times, but as I don't have a Beta reader, sometimes I miss things. So thank you again.
5093752
It's not technically a sequel, but it was heavily inspired by the comments on "An Age Long Since Passed" The thought of Blueblood and the lies he was told since he was a colt, inspired this little letter.
*laughs* You are the second person to ask for a follow-up! I had just barely gotten this on past moderation and someone sent me a PM asking if I would write more!
Yes, the monsters are very real. They might not be under the bed, but they are lurking... sometimes just in the corner of one's eyes.
5093757
Thank you very much! I'm so glad you liked it!
5093822
High praise indeed! I'm so glad that you think I captured his voice so well! Thank you so much!
5094540
Thank you!
5094638
It took her blowing up at him for him to realize just how far he had gone. He's not a good pony but he might learn to be a better one.
Glad you liked!
5095208
And the thing is, Celestia may not even realize just how far she has strayed. A thousand years of solitude can do strange things to a pony.
I'm very glad you liked!
5095414
Ah, the dreaded "I should be sleeping" comment time! I have fallen victim to that many times! I'm glad you liked the story!
Edited:
I don't recall the Celestia from the show ever lying, unless it was a lie of omission. (When Twilight writes to her about Nightmare Moon and says that something must be done to keep this prophecy of eternal night from happening, Celestia responds that Twilight simply has to stop reading those dusty old books and make some friends. 100% true.) So it seems odd for this story to be focused on taking her character to task for being a liar.
I'm not down voting the story or anything, as I suspect it's just not for me both in format (it may have done more for me had we been able to see these moments of manipulation and lying) and in preferred interpretation of Celestia. It was interesting to read, regardless!
Upon reading this story the first thing that pops into my head is wow, yet another Celestia the tyrant story, but when you think about Celestia there are things that one has to remember. While the show shows little to no flaws about the sun goddess we have to fill in a few blanks, consider the fact that she has ruled for so many generations that it is easy to forget mistakes made in the past but that doesn't mean there not there. This little letter does paint a darker picture but it also has a light, while mistakes are made that doesn't stop love from blossoming, as the prince states. While there is a sad overtone we find that a rather unpleasant, arguably one of the most annoying, character in the show has made a decision to change. While maybe this is not the intention of Celestia it is a positive turn of events. The only thing I would like to see is a story that shows the mistakes made by all the parties and not vilifing just one character, because there is a massive story waiting to be told... it just needs to be done right and I think is a good place to start
5095688
That interpretation actually comes from the quasi-prequel, An Age Long Since passed. There, he ruminates how she lied about Luna, Nightmare Moon, the Changelings, and a whole host of other issues.
5096991 Well, Blueblood does admit he's screwed up as well, such as his attitude at the Gala and how that 'mask' is slowly becoming him, he doesn't like it, and he realizes he's 'not a good pony'.
5095688
True, but this was inspired by the comments on another story, as already mentioned by the Great Derpsby. And in all honesty, this letter is coming from Blueblood, who even admits here that he's not a good pony.
And while a lie of omission is not directly a falsehood, it is still by definition, a lie. And to a pony like Blueblood, that is enough. The thought that his aunt, a pony whom he loved and trusted above all others, was keeping things from him...
Indeed, perhaps Celestia is not as bad as she seems, as seen by Blueblood's betrayed eyes, but like he said, she has lost her way in a thousand years.
To tell the truth, I've been debating writing another companion piece to this that explains some of the betrayal... the lies (be they of omission or otherwise)... and more about the relationship between Celestia and Blueblood.
5096991
I don't see Celestia as a tyrant... even Blueblood won't call her that. What she is, in the context of the story, is a flawed mare who has lost herself in the being of the inscrutable sun-princess, grand-chess-master and doesn't even realize it. She, like any of her little ponies, is not perfect.
As you said, this does paint a darker picture, but a not incompatible one. Blueblood does love her, still, and he acknowledges himself that he's not good, and is growing bitter.
I'll be honest with you, this story, inspired by a brief conversation in the comments of another story, is kind of nagging me to take it on as a major project, covering some of what happened in the past, the mistakes made by everypony involved and perhaps some of the redemption they all need. I don't know. I don't know that anyone would want to read it.
5117377 I for one would read it, it is a story that needs to be told
I just read this story after seeing it's sequel.
You know, if Blue wants to become a better stallion, perhaps he needs to examine his self importance and willingness to foist his own faults off onto others.
I think it is very selfish to expect someone to go over those sorts of hurts like Celestia had, just to satisfy your own curiosity. And then he blames the way he behaves now on Celestia not telling him everything he wanted to know. The few simple words he needed could have very well broken her.
5148469
Well thank you for stopping by for a read!
No, Blueblood isn't a very good stallion, as he was written in the show, so I carried that characterization here and expanded on it. He's vain and selfish and thinks of everything in terms of his own importance and comfort, first and foremost.
To him, she lied and that was the decisive factor behind his leaving. He doesn't see the truth past his own hurt. When your own hurt is so overwhelming, you can't see others pain for your own.
You know, I was looking for "Blueblood under a good light" kind of fics, because I wanted to write my own 'redemption' story. Right now, this one, alongside with An Age Long Since Passed are the best short ones I've seen, hands down.
AWESOME
This letter was awesome! When I read the words Auntie, I believed the writer is Cadence. So the shock came down like a hammer. Blueblood! OMG! This is such an awesome interpretation of his character. I love it, that you do not see him as a snob, but as a pony, who is fed up with lies and decides to call them out.
And it is true. Celestia likes to keep her cards close. It must be like a wakeup call for her, this letter. I absolutely love it.
I have read a few stories of Blueblood's redemption, and they are really inspiring. I hope he finds his true self in his travels. I love the thought of his return to canterlot, as a newly reformed, more mature stallion.
I hope blueblood finds what he is searching for in the end
Hermoso.