Epicurean
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You might possibly want to erase that.
To be honest, I was expecting some sort of silly ending to round things off. And that Complete tag makes me sad: what happens next?!? Still good though, so thumbs up.
What happened to safe and sane? And was this really in proportion to the offense? Sun Txu noted that too harsh and too frequent punishments led to flagging morale and potential desertion.
I don't know why i love this shit.
4956923
My thanks to you for pointing out that error.
4957212
To be quite honest, I'm not exactly sure how sincere you intended to be in writing this comment. Nonetheless, I'm going to respond as though you made it in all sincerity. Your comment, I think, is a valid one; however, the justification and context you provide for it, as it seems to me, does not follow here. It is important to realize that Sun Tzu's audience was the generals of old China. Hence, he wrote these words to the leaders of a military organization, whose rank and file members were, by nature, demoralized and, more importantly, nonconsensually recruited.
A member of the army was drafted; he had no choice in whether or not he was to be among the army, and also had no say in how he would be treated while he was in the army. Sun Tzu's purpose, therefore in writing these lines was to establish a system of fairness, in order to create an organization wherein its line members realized that the reasons for remaining in the army and remaining obedient were more beneficial to them that to disobey or desert. That is, the punishments must be not so lenient as to allow soldiers to slack off, and not so harsh that they are less preferable than accepting desertion and/or death as an escape.
What must be understood, however, is that this situation, for which Sun Tzu’s maxim was written, does not reflect the situation portrayed in this story. This story was written for an entirely different audience, who take the events therein in a specific and wholly different way than the generals of old China. And in order to properly assess this story, we must understand it in terms of how the intended audience would take it. This intended audience is, of course, the clopping community within the Brony fanbase.
Most initiated members of this sub-fandom, would quickly find that this story is an example of BDSM culture, which is a complicated subject because of the complex and often paradoxical nature of relationships involved in its practice. Hence, I think this audience would see that Rarity here is not in the position of the Chinese soldier, trapped under the compelling force of Cadence, who would in that case be a torturer. Rather, I think we can conclude that most if not indeed all of the treatment she receives here is of her own accord. Thus, therefore, I think the problem of maltreatment goes away, seeing that the objection here is a non-sequitur.
If you would like me to expound upon BDSM culture and thereby provide a counter-analysis of the themes in this story, which I think would be more plausible, I can add that in a blog post, where a dialogue or discussion might be more suitable.
4957977 To be honest, if you speak of "The Art of War", then the book may have been written for generals, but is broad enough to apply to a wide variety of situations, and has been used for everything from political campaigns to forming labor unions to being the best at selling girl scout cookies.
While I suppose some like a story with no lead up, no lead out, or any rational for what's happening, I can't say I'm one of them.
4958078
Thanks for your opinion. Indeed, I'm not generally partial to gonzo stories like this one myself. I find, however, that as a writer, sometimes it's an enjoyable experience to cut out that difficult buildup and get straight into the action. This isn't intended to be a serious work, but it was not unenjoyable to create.
Regarding also your comment on the application of Sun Tzu's maxim, I suppose I would concede that it can be applied to more than just a military setting. Nonetheless, my point was merely that we cannot necessarily apply a maxim intended for one set of conditions to a completely different set of conditions, and expect it to still hold the same truth value. In order to assign a maxim to a story, we first have to understand what the story says. And while the themes or lessons in the story might be widely analyzed or applicable, we must first understand the narrowly intended meaning before we can broaden it.
4957977
Most tragically, blog posts have the unfortunate habit of crashing my phone browser, which is how I access this site most often. Besides, I have seen many an explanation of the potential minefield that is BDSM, including some from folks deeply in the know. But the contradictory, heavily nuanced and very odd "no but yes but no but yes" nature of it was deeply uncomfortable and maddening. All that shadow-show ambiguity and lack of concrete answers and iron laws sharply conflicted with my rational and scientific mind.
So in essence, it's not you, it's me. It was, in a sense, a hot story. I'm not much for anal or any of the window dressing that was put on (which I would image is what is supposed to arouse people) but there was penetration and dildos can make for a good clop story. It's worth an upthumb.
I know you made this as a strictly PWP clop fic, but it raises world questions (don't worry; everything does for me. OCD combined with literary training means I wonder about when the curtain comes down, how the world is sustained.) Are they friends in this story? Do their friends know where they are? Is slavery legal or is it as stigmatized as it was in the show (where one of Sombra's crimes was slavery)? Is Rarity actually afraid or is it an act? If it's genuine, is there a Sin City moment of deposing the tyrant Cadance coming? And are there resources like battered mare's shelters or emergency clinics available to help her?
4958188
Indeed, these are interesting questions to raise, ones that I never intended to answer. I share your concern about the more broad questions raised about this world. I, however, follow a "death of the author" approach to fiction. Now that the story has been written in its entirety, my word has no more power to impose truth on the text than that of my readers. Therefore, I cannot answer for sure. We have to look to the text itself and try to read answers out, not read them in. Closure, however, will be very difficult to obtain because of the great brevity. The meaning is up for speculation and debate.
4958227
I like your attitude
....how is this complete? it very clearly has more to tell....
I hopped onto this story expecting to find a shitty fic I could take pleasure in tearing apart. Instead....
The exploration of the master/slave dynamic was interesting, and I believe that for what you were presenting the lack of exposition is a good fit. However, the story still feels a bit rough, primarily in the dialogue. As you seem to have written it on a whim I can't really fault you for this, but it leaves me to wonder how much better the story would have turned out with a bit of polishing. Either way, I feel you've earned an upvote.
Also, this comment section actually has intelligent discourse in it; bravo to everyone involved.
Well this made for a nice quick read but I feel as if it was cut wayyy too short. After all, a pairing with favorite pony and favorite princess instantaneously appealed to me. +1 upvote from me.
Way to appeal to the lowest common denominator
Sometimes I wonder...
The show devs are normal people, right? So what exactly did they think was going to happen when they introduced Cadence? I think they knew.
mlpchan.net/arch/src/1352986236428.png
I'm sorry, what?
Not to say you don't have my attention.
4958227
Ahh. I see. We hold two separate opinions. I feel an obligation to readers to create and present a full, round world where questions have answers. And indicentally, I'm not dead. I happen to be very alive and am currently planning a dinner. I know that some folks prefer to believe authors are dead, but I, at least, am very not dead.
4961304
Of course you're here, one of your wives is Candy...
4959552
That has to be the most logically, and hilariously true statement I've seen in a long time~
...Well, they do say Love is a psychopath, stands to reason the 'Princess' of love would be one too.
Well, it's not the most complex story I've ever read... In fact it doesn't have much in terms of story or narrative depth at all... But it is what it is. It may "just" be a clopfic, but who cares? Not everything has to be deep and have several layers of emotional depth and pathos. Sometimes you've just got to indulge!
Besides, Rarity seems to be greatly enjoying herself, and it's always nice to read kink stories with willing participants. 
Reading it made me happy, so I give it a thumbs up.