NOTICE: Canceled until further notice!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hey, you. Yes, you, the one sitting on the chair! What the heck are you doing here? Well, whatever. Since you're here anyways, I might as well tell you what the heck I'm doing in a small town called Ponyville.
You see, there's going to be a very important event that's going to happen very soon, at this exact location. I need to be here for this important event. Why? Well, to tell you the truth, I am the only pony that knows of this event. And you see, this "happening" will shake up the world of Equestria upside-down. If it survives, that is.
There will be destruction, mayhem and mass chaos. There will be words spoken, glances passed, and friendships forgotten. There will be the end of pony life if I'm not there to stop it.
And trust me, I'm gonna stop it.
Come on guys! If you're gonna give me 2-3 star reviews, then at least post a comment to tell me what I should do to make a better story and what writing skills I can improve on!
I can't improve as a writer if I don't know what I'm doing wrong...
Dangit again! I accidentally rated you down when trying to click track
All right... your first fic. Cancelled, even though it appears you were never told why it was so disliked; would be nice to know what it was, exactly, right?
This is actually the lowest number of upvotes/downvotes/comments in ratio to story views ever. You have more story views on this cancelled fic than I do on any of my stories, yet I have more upvotes and downvotes and certainly more comments. Why is this?
Well, I can't vouch for the high number of views; I can, however, say that this story would never manage to catch my interest for several very distinct reasons.
First, the story name is really, really bad. I mean, come on? Who's the inferno and why should we care about his return? This sounds like an instant mary sue.
Secondly, the story picture is also very bad. I sincerely hope you made it yourself, because if you had to have a friend make that or (dare I dread) commissioned it, that's just a testament to their lack of skill. I can make a better picture than that, and I'm like Special Olympics-tier in my artwork. As far as what specifically looks bad... you used an OC that was created in Pony Maker, you cut half of him off with fire so we can't even see his wings and horns (because I'm betting he's a flippin' alicorn), and the fire clips randomly in the middle so it's obviously shopped--plus, you can't see the OC's face through the flames. Maybe when you got the cover picture, there were no fire vectors out at the time, but there certainly are now, and they're not tough to use.
Now, on to your description... I despise being addressed directly by the story "author." This is a pony telling his tale in book format, not an old hermit who's missing an eye and has a peg-leg telling young whippersnappers his epic fable of how he used to be a fire pony.
The rest of the description sounds an awful lot like generic gary stu (you know, the male version of a mary sue--look it up if you need a definition) out to save the world because he's OP and good at that kind of thing. Whatever things you put into this story to make him "cool" or even "fallible" are probably just a way to make him seem even cooler. I cringe to think of how this poor pony's story is told.
Oh, and your short description is a terrible hook. "A mysterious pony" is very generic and overplayed; I wouldn't suggest keeping it. The question of, "Will he succeed?" is also another element of a cringe-worthy story. Of course he's going to succeed; he's the bloody protagonist. Even if he doesn't succeed, he's going to fail in a way that makes him win anyway. That's how all mary sues work.
On to the next one!
4158023
Yeah, I cancelled it because it was bad. It was bad, I knew it, the story had no context behind it, it was a poor premise and I spent more time on it than I actually wanted. This story, even though it was written first was supposed to be a sequel to Chronicles of an Unknown World, but I only wanted to spend a month writing it. I spend three instead. That sucked, and I realized that I overshot my original goal and decided to abandon it.
The only reason I haven't deleted it is because it was the first thing I've ever written about in this fandom, and I keep it to remind myself how far I've gotten over these past three years.